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Greetings! Rankings or spankings, what be your preference, my goodmen? Why not both, I say. Aye, why not both of these joyous splendors of life? If that does happen to be the case, I reckon you just popped your second 30 milligram time-released Adderall of the day in a hopeless attempt at actually putting forth effort into a job you actually care extremely little about. Yes, you have children, but do you know 100 percent that they are of your seed? I mean, we all recall your cocaine and dry-humping days from college, and both have been known to cause permanent damage. Beddict would know as well as anyone. I suppose if you’re a woman, and you’re reading this, you are well aware of the father of your children… or do you look at little Tommy and then recall that girls trip you took to Antigua where you got blacked and rode a sexy, guitar playing Irishman who reminded you of the dude from ‘P.S. I Love You’? Aye, the man was hung like a prized moose, he was, and honestly, the kid’s probably the better for it. You’ve got to be realistic about these things. Either way, some of my rankings below may shock you a bit, but trust in the Elders and give me your faith, and I swear by all that is pure in what is left of this once great planet, that I will take you by the hand, and guide you to glory. Tis my fate, after all. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, say he’s a birther of great and powerful knowledge.

Below are my rankings for Week 1. I pray that you enjoy them and take them to hear. Thankee-sai. Take Heed!

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  1. Frank says:
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    Due to hurricane Irma you can take Winston, cutler, jaquizz rodgers, sims, ajayi, mike Evans, desean jackson, Godwin, Jarvis Landry, Devante Parker, Kenny stills, Julius Thomas, Cameron Brett, oj Howard, Miami D, Tampa D, Miami kicker, Tampa kicker, etc etc out of your rankings

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank: I know. I sent wrong ones. This was season. He’s updating shortly

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank: but thanks LMAOOOO

  2. OldMilwaukeePounders says:
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    Tehol,

    Do you have any expectations for Brandon Coleman stepping in to a fairly prominent role in NO? If I recall he was a “buzzy” name last year, and he should see an increased role with Cooks gone, right?

    Game 1 will have no Willie Snead either. Solid replacement for teams missing MIA & TB players?

    Thanks!

    • Chucky says:
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      Shhhhh. He’s a sneaky, below the radar kind of guy, while everyone else is focused on Ted Ginn. Just not a big Saints- on -the -road kind of guy myself.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Chucky: yep definite sleeper play this week

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @OldMilwaukeePounders: he should definitely have a decent week . Him or Ginn or both really. Coleman could get a touchdown or two in the red zone.

  3. Mike says:
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    Long term thoughts on gurly? I’ve got a league mate who wants him. A possible deal could consist of me giving up brees/Antonio brown/gurly for rogers/David Johnson and Baldwin.

    I like gurly and think he could have a good bounce back year. My others RBs consist of Hyde, gore and Jamal Charles. I think I make out better in that trade proposal, but wanted another opinion on gurly before I do anything.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Mike: is it ppr? I think Gurley rushes for 1500 plus this year. But if ppr I’ll take the David Johnson trade as I think Baldwin has big year cath wise

      • Mike says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: yeah, it’s PPR. I’m leaning towards the trade.

        • Tehol Beddict

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Mike: take it. take it from the back

          • Mike says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: so he countered. New offer is I trade Antonio brown and gurly for Johnson and Emanuel sanders? You like?

            • Tehol Beddict

              Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Mike: ughhhh, i don’t think i can do that

  4. Chucky says:
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    Dont see Combine sensation, UDFA Matt Brieda in your rankings. He’s already the #2 in a Shanny style offense with Hyde in his final contract year.
    Given Trevor Siemian’s limited downfield throwing ability, plus the fact that DT is probably less than 100% ( groin), would you move Booker up in your rankings as the #2 to CJ? Looks like the Bronco’s may try and run the ball down the Charger’s throats.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Chucky: I will update shortly . Booker is not playing this week

  5. Chicken Dinner says:
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    T coleman or J Brown in my FLEX, my man.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Chicken Dinner: jarron or John?

  6. William Hung says:
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    @Tehol – Younghoe Koo hype train pulling into the station… choo choo!!!! Sad to see him off the rankings :(

  7. William Hung says:
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    For real question: 14 team .5 PPR 20 return yards per point.

    QB – Philip Rivers
    RB – Freeman, Ty Mont
    WR – Cooper, Crowder, Martavis
    TE – Gates
    Flex – DeVante Parker
    Bench
    QB – Carson Palmer
    RB – Woodhead, Jacquizz, Jamaal Williams
    WR – ???
    IR – Will Fuller

    I have an open roster spot after moving Will Fuller to my IR spot. Who should I pick up?
    -Agholor, Golladay, Paul Richardson, Kerley, Kearse (I’d think the Jets would be a black hole though), or go deep flier and get a higher upside TE in Kittle?

    • William Hung says:
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      Just read the above comments too – Brandon Coleman is also available…

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @William Hung: Coleman this week altho Richardson is starting and could get a bomb. Kearse just got there so i’d be a tad wary of adding him this week.

      Kittle is definitely interesting. Let’s see how Gates produces early but I’m concerned altho rookies are hard to predict at TE as they have notoriously struggled

      • William Hung says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Outside of Garcon, who will catch the balls in SF (though this thinking also lead to all the Torrey Smith sleeper posts last year, so can’t really bank on this)…

        Alright I’ll roll Richardson then since he is starting

        • Tehol Beddict

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @William Hung: that’s why Kittle is interesting . Goodwin seems to be getting hype but I’ll believe it when I see him stay healthy for more than 2 games at a time. Aldrick Robinson? Ughhhhh. You’re right, Kittle sounds better by the second ahahah

  8. Comatose says:
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    Seeking a second opinion here. Burn my number 3 waiver spot to grab Big Ben? I’m starting Russell Wilson and would be dropping my backup tight end Hooper.

    As a follow up, if I do burn my waiver, should I also drop Perine for DeAndre Washington? I have both Marshawn and Kelly.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Comatose: I’d probably hold Perine over Washington as he has higher chance of grabbing the overall job. Washington will share no matter what and hasn’t produced anything of note when given more carries.

      yes, grab big Ben. worst case you can trade later. The Steelers should have best offense in the NFL. worth it

  9. Bryce Krispie Treats says:
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    Im in a 12 team, 2QB league. I made the mistake of not drafting a 3rd QB to cover those bye weeks. Who do you think is next in line for some starts? Trubisky and Tolzien are taken. Never thought id ever see that as being a problem haha

    Any chance Garapollo gets traded?

    I have Henne and Mahomes on my roster. I currently have Rodgers and Carr, bye weeks 8 and 10.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bryce Krispie Treats: absolutely no way he gets traded at this point. Is Watson available? Or Petty? Trust the process. Maybe browns backup

  10. Playadlc says:
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    With this team in a 12 team PPR 1QB, 2RB, 2WR, Flex, TE league….

    QB – Rodgers
    RB – L. Bell, C. Hyde
    WR – Tyreek Hill, Martavis Bryant
    Flex – E. Sanders
    TE – Jordan Reed
    Bench – RB-Gio Bernard, RB-T. Rawls RB-D. Sproles,
    WR D. Parker WR C. Hogan
    QB – Marcus Mariota

    Would you move Rodgers and Hyde for AJ Green and Joe Mixon?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Playadlc: yep, i sure would

  11. David says:
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    In a 10-team ppr keeper league. This is a FAAB league as well. Scoring in this league is very favorable to QB’s (6 pts/TD, 7.5 pt bonus @350 yds, .5 pts/completion). This week’s starting lineup w/ values in parenthesis and also marked my keepers w/ k:

    QB1: cam ($12) k
    QB2: wentz ($5) k
    RB1: zeke ($41) k
    RB2: bilal ($1) k
    WR1: julio ($53) k
    WR2: fitz ($24)
    WR3: Tate ($30)
    TE: Bennett ($9)
    Flex1: Martavis ($21)
    Flex2: Rishard ($1)
    DST: Giants ($2)
    Bench: Tyrod (11), forte (3), gore (9), riddick (5), OJ (6), Lockett (1), Snead (16)
    Practice/Rookie: Curtis Samuel (5)

    Being offered Landry (15) & Cutler (17) for Tyrod & Snead. My evaluation, i’m getting the better player in Landry at the expense of my backup QB. Although I am hesitant to leverage my QB position which is very delicate in the first place. The plus is obvious. Delving deeper in the thinking is that according to league rules snead & tyrod are locked in their values for next 2 seasons while Landry cannot be kept next year. Not sure this factors. What is your take?

    Also would like feedback on my team.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @David: i would take landry and cutler deal. I discovered Tyrod int he wastelands on peyote but they are setting him up to fail. your evaluation is correct and Cutler could outperform the rodfather as is.

      i wouldn’t worry about keeping others.

      Team looks good, my goodman. Martinis is a bargain at that price and will be your number 2 wideout shortly. lockett was nice grab for buck. pricey for zeke if misses 6 as you are extremely thin at running back. hopefully gore can give you something before he system fails. Cam is absolute bargain at that price and could finish top 5 at position. Wentz also bargain at 5 and should have big season. love the wideouts. bennett should do better than Matthew Berry is saying ahah. thanks for reading

  12. tranterkw says:
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    Demaryius Thomas and CJ Anderson are both available in the free agent pool of my league. (we had an auction draft “malfunction” in which two lucky owners were awarded them for $1 each- so we agreed to remove them from their respective teams)

    Both are clearly worth more than those who normally reside on the waiver wire. How much of the a $100 FAAB budget should I use on either of them?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @tranterkw: A LOT! you won’t have a chance like this again. I’d give half my shit for D Thomas and a quarter of it for Anderson. that may be pushing but that s a pretty major addition

  13. JP Morgan says:
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    Feel like I should roll with Hogan over Devonte Adams I have Brady and kind of like that stack do you see a ton of risk in doing this ? Thanks man..

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @JP Morgan: You may do as you please, my goodman. However, I would not do that. But I’m a simple man

  14. Nick says:
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    Have a tough call this week between Abdullah at flex or R Kelley…standard league…matchup favors Kelley v Philly but I currently have Abdullah in against Az. What you say Tehol?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nick: shiiiiiiiiiiiit, I like em both but that philly front gives me blood in my stool. Im riding with Abdullah and I’m feeling hella good about it brother

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I’ve changed my mind. Let’s go Kelly

    • Nick says:
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      @Nick: or I could be really sneaky and plug in Forte v. the league worst run D in the Bills…especially since I believe the Jets will still move him after he puts up a few solid weeks at RB

      • Tehol Beddict

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Nick: that’s a negative, ghostrider

  15. William Trill Cauley-Stein says:
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    Big Chief! How are you? Mind helping me with my line up for week 1? I am in a ten team 0.5 PPR league. I appreciate your advice

    QB1-Mariota/Winston
    RB1-Freeman
    RB2-Elliott
    WR1-Hopkins
    WR2-Hogan or Maclin?
    F- L. Miller? D. Henry? T.Coleman? C.Davis? Maclin? Hogan?
    TE-D. Walker?
    D- AZ or MIN or LA Rams?
    K-Bryant

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @William Trill Cauley-Stein:

      MY GOODMAN!!!! Rams on defense is easy call for me with Luck out. Lamar Miller in flex most def also. tough defense but should get lot of touches. WR is tough here. I think most expect Hogan to have a big week. I’m not as sold on this . Personally, I would go Maclin, but seems majority would go Hogan for whatever that’s worth! thanks for checking in

      • William Trill Cauley-Stein says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I appreciate it good sir! Thoughts on if I should drop Maclin for Marvin Jones? Marvin Jones or C. Hogan?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @William Trill Cauley-Stein: is dump for Marvin but will be interesting to see if Flacco feeds or if washed

  16. Fizz says:
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    Who should I start at flex? Standard league:

    J. Stewart
    K. Allen
    A. Abdullah

    For WR im going with A. Brown and A. Robsinson. Do you think its better to sit robinson, start Allen, and pick a flex between stewart and abdullah?

    THanks!

    • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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      @Fizz: Stewart is of not much interest to me until I see his workload, Fizz. Id prob go with Allen and Robinson but def Allen over Robinson. probably both over Abdullah till we see his workload as well. I’m starting abdullah in a couple leagues tho so let’s pray for the best

      • Fizz says:
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        Thanks, Tehol da God.

        Im going to go with Allen and Abdullah – im thinking abdullah will surprise us with a 2 td game.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Fizz: works for me brotha

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