Contrary to most people, Fantasy Football actually reinforces my belief in a higher power. Because in my opinion, the statistical probability that the Bears would be so uniquely irrelevant for such a long amount time is far less likely than a giant vengeful sky man wanting to live with you when you die. And if we are talking in terms of fantasy (something we do from time to time), it doesn’t seem that long ago when Jay Cutler was doing his best impersonation of Jay Cutler, but with a cast of Matt Forte, Martellus Bennett, Brandon Marshall, and Alshon Jeffery. Sure, they were still full of derp, still kinda bordered the line between mediocre and hilarious, but they had an offense. More importantly, they had an offense that you wanted to draft on your team. Now all that’s left is Alshon Jeffery living in Hoyer Country. (If he throws a Hail Mary, what shall they do about their papist neighbors?) So whats wrong with the Bears offense? Is it: A) Hoyer can’t throw the ball, B) Kevin White doesn’t know what a Route Tree is, C) The offensive line can’t block, D) Alshon Jeffery hasn’t cared since they shipped Marshall off to the Jets, or E.) All the above? And sure, lets give some credit to the Cowboys. Ezekiel Elliott had a terrific game on the ground (kudos to Zach for calling it in his Start ‘Em/Sit ‘Em post), and Dak Presscott looks pretty legitimate. I mean, let’s be honest, drafting a good quarterback by accident is just about the most Cowboys thing ever. But while I deal with my own feelings as a Chargers fan (alcohol is involved), I have to wonder why the Bears even exist right now, but then I remember that the Cleveland Browns are still a thing and it all makes sense.

Here’s what else I saw in Sunday’s Week 3 games…

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It's gonna be a long year for these Cowboys...

I talked about this on the pod a little bit, but when you look at this game, you really wonder why the hell it’s in prime time. Sure, several months ago, this might have looked good on paper… maybe? I don’t blame Jay Cutler as much as Bears fans do, Alshon Jeffery is a lot of star power… but there’s not much else there that your general football fan might recognize. And the Cowboys? Yeah, they usually anchor any prime time game with Bryant, Romo, and Witten… yeah, the match-up would have made some sense if you squinted really hard… but boy, now that we’re here… Wow. Jay Cutler is doubtful for the game, leaving us in the derpiest of all time periods: “Hoyer Time”. Jeremy Langford is not who we thought he was, and even over on the Cowboys side, Tony Romo is out (for his career, if we care about his future aspects to live the rest of his life in a healthy fashion), leaving something called Dak in charger. Ezekial Elliot is suffering from some rookie over-hype (made of phrase, I’m sure), and Jason Garrett is still head coach. I’m sorry, why are we watching this game tonight?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My reaction watching this game as well...

For some reason this week, there’s a somewhat-crowded slate of games… I’m not sure on the science of this, the when, the how, the meaning of it all (in terms of scheduling, not life), but I’ll take as many games in the afternoon as I can until the bye weeks hit. And today, we’ve got five selections to choose from… Rams at Buccaneers, 49ers at Seahawks, Jets at Chiefs, Chargers at Colts, and the Steelers at Eagles. Okay, now that I’ve listed them, maybe I take it back… wanting that many games, what was I thinking? I could honestly do without four of these, and not even my Chargers bias can keep them in this small group of watchable, including, and definitely limited to the Steelers and Eagles.  A tale of where two teams will go, the Steelers have a chance to go 3-0 with the impending return of Le’Veon Bell, making them seem like a potential playoff team. The Eagles? This is probably a “show me” game, in that the hype of Carson Wentz tries to prove itself for real. Then again, if that doesn’t interest you, I’m pretty sure there will be a good case to make the over/under for the Chargers-Colts game at 100. 100.5 if you’re into that who decimal point thing…

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Well, seeing as how Thursday Night Football once again lowered the bar in terms of “quality”, more specifically, in terms of “nap quality was good because this game was boring as sh*t”, we really have no where to go but up. Granted, I’m seeing a Browns-Dolphins matchup here that’s already triggering me slightly, I’m sure the Ravens-Jaguars game will only… oh geez, who are we kidding? Alright, alright, it’s not all doom and gloom, as the Washington-Giants game should be full of derp, the Broncos and Bengals should be pretty interesting, and the Panthers will try their best to make sure Sam Bradford regresses to the mean. But what my lede presupposes is, maybe they won’t?

Be sure to check out Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with updated projections (which finished fourth overall last week), by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Well that was a weird week. When Corey Coleman outscores both Antonio Brown and Odell Beckham, and Justin Hardy outscores Julio, you know it’s time to sit back, and ask ourselves, what on Earth went wrong?

I’d like to take this time in the intro to talk about the most important aspect of Fantasy Football: Patience.

Championships aren’t won at the draft, and they are certainly not won during the first two weeks of the NFL season. We have to have patience when deciding who to add, who to cut, and who to trade for or trade away. We have to have patience, and think for the long term. Take Coby Fleener, for instance. Right now, many are cutting him, trading him, and giving up all hope. I am confident, without a single doubt in my mind, that Coby Fleener is a Top-10, maybe even still a Top-5 TE on the year. Remember, this is a guy that looked solid with Dwayne Allen in Indy, really stellar without Allen (due to injury), and someone the Saints paid over the offseason. They did that for a reason. Now, Brees has come out and said that they are slowly building chemistry, and they can’t wait until it blooms. And unfortunately for us, it means rostering him and waiting.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Do you remember how amazing Bo Jackson was? He was dominant, the next big thing, and then… his knee exploded and he never recovered. Career over before it truly ever got off the ground. That’s sort of what this fantasy season is starting to feel like.

Two weeks into the year and it’s already survival of the fittest. Most everyone is dealing with the same stuff: at least a dozen running backs are hurt (highlighted this week by Adrian Peterson’s knee injury), Julio Jones and Brandon Marshall are banged up, and names like Rodgers, Gurley, and Beckham are performing woefully below expectations. So, to lighten the mood from this misery, we bring you the latest episode of The Dream League…

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Rudy is the man behind our Pigskinonator and DFSBot football projections and is also behind the baseball ‘bots (Streamonator, Hittertron, etc.) and NFL/MLB player pages. This weekly piece will focus on players where the Pigskinonator diverge from the popular consensus.

Before I starting raving/railing on some players, let me get the tool and player page updates out of the way first:

  • We’ve launched the FanDuel and DraftKings NFL lineup optimizers – powered by our pals LineupLab. While it isn’t free (!) through Week 4 like the Pigskinonator and DFSBot projections, you can try both optimizers out for only $2.99/week for the next 2 weeks. It’s super easy and we’ve got a ton of the Pigskinonator projections baked into the optimizer!
  • The football player pages (see Matt Forte) now h ave two news sources – FantasyPros and Rotoballer. We’ve worked hard to make the Game Logs as useful as possible and to put the most important stuff (this week’s projections) right at the top.

Okay, with that out of the way, I’m going into Week 3 with a little more confidence.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A little late, a little more driving, but we’re back and better than ever! I think. Maybe not. But Tehol and I got a lot of work done, going over the Texans and Patriots Thursday Night snoozefest as we begrudgingly admit that Bill Belichick might actually know what he’s been doing all these years, Adrian Peterson and Danny Woodhead’s season-ending injuries, and and we go over the upcoming Sunday and Monday games. Sure, in the middle of it all, we get sidetracked talking about our current RCL trade we’re both mulling (I send Stefon Diggs and Thomas Rawls for Tehol’s Melvin Gordon and Matt Jones), the Razzball Dream League, and we even make our picks for the upcoming Presidential debate. Yes, we talk some politics, and no, we don’t get political. We did our best to be as neutral as possible when discussing our picks, so no fear everyone, you can still continue to flame us for our football viewpoints. All is well…

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Welcome back everybody to this week’s edition of “Derp Imprints”, our recurring series at Razzball where we take a look at our favorite merchandise with Eli Manning’s dopey face printed on it. First, let’s gaze into Eli’s post-interception eyes on a nice t-shirt… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this will instead by another installment of Deep Impact, and also that I shouldn’t make fun of Eli since he can’t help the fact that he looks like that. For those of you who haven’t been following along, well why haven’t you been following along? Are you too good to read some fantasy advice?? How’d you wind up on this site to begin with then? Well while you’re here, might as well check out these recommendations for deep league starts and stashes that are less than 10% owned in Yahoo. Or, click the banner link to find out more about Marie Callender’s pot pies, if that’s something you would rather do with your free time. But before we jump into names, allow me to share a brief story that I promise is relevant to this week’s article.

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Atlanta Falcons v New Orleans Saints

Welcome back to the Week 3 edition of By The Numbers. I’m writing this from one of my favorite cities on the entire world – New Orleans. In fact, I’m in a bit of a haze as I pen this. Maybe it was all the huffing, or quite possibly the hookers, who knows? Either way, The French Quarter never disappoints. After I’d had my fill of the “Vieux Carre” I was deep in thought as I traveled back to my humble Midwest estate. It came to my attention that the Saints were playing host to the Atlanta Falcons this week. If you’ve followed the numbers at all the past few years then you’re well aware that it doesn’t get much better than Drew Brees at home. Maybe he adds an extra dose of NyQuil into his lean on Saturday nights or Sean Payton really knows how to whip up some magic jambalaya. Whatever the case, he’s absolutely nails in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Over the past two seasons Brees has averaged 324 yards and 2.87 touchdowns per home game, while producing 292 yards and 1.87 touchdowns on the road. That extra production has helped New Orleans win 68.9% of their home games since 2010, while winning just 52.2% of road contests during that same period. This week he’ll feast on a weak Atlanta pass defense which allowed 299 yards through the air and three touchdowns to Derek Carr in Week 2. Two weeks ago this was the same group that yielded four touchdowns and 281 passing yards to Jameis Winston, while generating zero sacks. With just two weeks worth of data to sift through, Atlanta has already given up seven passing scores against zero interceptions. The Falcons are allowing the third most fantasy points (28.7) in the league to opposing QBs, 12th most fantasy points to WRs (24.9) and they’re ranked second-worst in the league in points allowed to opposing TEs (15.7). In other words…..They’re way below average. Whether you’re playing the daily game or season long fantasy (or both) you obviously want a piece of the Saints’ passing attack in you lineups if possible. Don’t let last weeks low scoring affair scare you away from Brees’ and his tiny hands. He was still able to complete 65 percent of his passes against the Giants and he dropped back 46 times in that contest. This is perhaps the most pass happy attack in the league – averaging 343 yards and 2.5 scores through the first two weeks this year. This game currently holds the highest O/U of the week at 53.5. Hopefully that excites you like it excites me. I currently have a Drew Brees rager you could hang a hat on. Anyway, remember to check out Jay’s rankings and Rudy’s “Pigskinator” to help you dominate your league. They’re without a doubt two of the best in the industry. Without further delay, here’s a look at some stats and facts that might help you win your matchups this week:

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