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The news hit my twitterfeed like there was a cure for cancer.  Arizona trades for Carson Palmer!  Finally, Larry Fitzgerald has a real quarterback throwing to him!  It’ll be just like old times for Fitzy!  And this is much longer than twitter will ever allow for one tweet!  It must’ve been broken up over like 5!  And I can’t stop using exclamation points!!!…!!!  It’s true, the Cardinals finally got their man in Carson to do away with the three-headed dreck of Stanton, Hoyer and Skelton for the season and it’s also true that Carson will most likely be successful in his stint in the desert.  But let’s do like your mother did when you said you’d grow up to marry a Super Model and create a sock that never loses its elasticity: lower your expectations.  It’s true that Carson is an upgrade over all those guys – and even Kevin Kolb who’s now with the Bills – but the upgrade that’s still needed hasn’t truly happened.  Unless you think being a quarterback in Arizona is linked to the world’s oldest profession, you realize a QB can’t do their job while lying on their back.  The Cardinals had either the worst or at least bottom 5 among offensive lines in the NFL last year according to most metrics.  Don’t worry, Americans, you don’t have to understand the metric system to get how bad these stats are.  The Cardinals line gave up the fourth most sacks (49), had the lowest ‘adjusted line yards’ mark at 2.92 and the team as a whole averaged 3.4 yards per carry on the ground.  Those stats are like a surgeon performing a transplant: disheartening.  However, the good thing we can say here is the Raiders line was not leaps and bounds better so there’s hope for a reasonable season to come from Carson and from his receiving crew.  Just don’t go crazy with the twitter love and exclamation points about it.  In other 2013 fantasy football news…

Matt Flynn - Well, there’s a reason the Raiders traded Carson.  That reason is Terrell Pryor, of course.  I keed.  I think.  In reality, there’s no guarantee that Flynn is the starting QB in Oakland this year.  If you feel bad for the guy, look at how much money he’s making for 87 career completions and for holding a clipboard.  See?  You kinda hate him now.

Jason Hanson – Retired after playing for 21 years.  He could’ve stopped after 1997’s smash hit ‘MMM Bop’ but he stayed for the fans.  Class act.

Colt McCoy - Signed with the 49ers to back up Colin Kaepernick.  Looks like Harbaugh wanted an even bigger challenge than turning Alex Smith into a competent quarterback.

Matt Barkley - After working out for the Bills on Monday, he’s rumored to be holding a private workout for the Cardinals on Saturday.  If we see smoke billowing from the combine, we’ll know who will back up Palmer in 2013.

In general news, the NFL unveiled plans to show locker room footage on the jumbotrons at games.  Chris Culliver better hope they don’t catch him checking out Harbaugh when he’s ranting.  He’s cute when he’s angry.

  1. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    am I the only person reading these?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ha, possibly. I think most people are in full on baseball mode right now. Plus no one wants to talk football, but they’ll probably ad it and just move in without comments.

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: I need a break from baseball. Makes me a little crazier than usual

        Do you ever get to see live MLB baseball?

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          I get in on average 1 game a year. Last year I didn’t get to see the Mariners but found myself in Phoenix in August and caught the Nats play the Dbacks. Really like their park down there. Went to Alice Coopers restaurant down the block after the game. It was terrible, I’d never suggest it. Overpriced and terrible service. Theres nothing more depressing than being served by some emo teen who’s wearing Alice Cooper makeup. Makes them look like they’ve been crying all day

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: Do you ever get down to LA during baseball season?

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              I’ve only been to LA once and it was a long time ago. My wife and I might eventually find our way down there in the future but we will have to see. What about you? You catch many?

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: usually 2 or 3 Dodger games and the occasional Angel game if someone gives me tickets. Might go to a Quakes game this year too. It’s only 20 minutes away

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Nice! Ive made it to one Ducks game. I usually make at least one Emeralds game a year too. Just nice to be at the ballpark regardless of the game involved

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: well if you ever come to LA the Dodger tickets are on me.

                    I hate the Ducks, in football

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Ha thanks! Would be fun to catch a Dodgers game.

                      Don’t worry, feelings mutual about most of the Cali football teams. Realize the Ducks haven’t been dominant for that long, it’s tiresome hearing about USC year after year since forever.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I hate the Trojans more than anything, i’m a UCLA guy. I’m just glad Kelly is gone, I hated that gimmicky brand of football he played. It will be interesting to see what he does in the NFL

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Gimmicky? No sir. Chips was read option, put speed at the skill positions and play the game fast. That’s a style, not a gimmick. Would be like saying LSU’s grind down style of football was gimmicky. Rick Nueheisel boldly claimed someone would eventually figure out that gimmicky offense. He said that in 2010…while running the wildcat…while coaching your Bruins.

                      think you’re going to be surprised by Chip in the NFL. He’s a straight up coach who plays with what he’s given. Oregon doesn’t recruit 300 lb future NFL defensive stars nor do we get Alabamas endless supply of bruising backs. So he coached to play the game with the speed of what comes with being smaller than the other team.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I never liked Baby huey, and the gimmick is my own assesment from actually playing the game. i know it was read option always ran in 2 minute mode, but coming from someone who played the game I thought it was a joke, never liked the wildcat, or the pistol, all seemed kinda weak to me. I like what I call real football. You guys don’t create an abundance of guys that play on Sunday, but hey, thats what you do. I actually feel bad for the high school kids who think Oregon was a gateway to the pros, thats the USC’s, Alabamas and Texas’s of the world, and that plays into my opinion of their/your program.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      So New England doesn’t play real football with their no-huddle style in context. They get to the line of scrimmage and the hike it faster than any other team. In fact, Hoodie Bill met with Chip over the off season to talk about just that: playing the game faster. NFL changes all the time, to say there’s one way to play it and the rest is a fad or a gimmick glosses over a lot.

                      I agree with you about not many players coming out of the Oregon system to the NFL but I already stated that. The reality was no one wanted LaMichael James. He was playing HS football in Texas and he didn’t get on any of the programs you mentioned nor even a mid-tier one. I think these kids who aren’t being given a shot by these other programs are being given a shot by the UO. I would never think to call the UO an NFL talent house but I don’t think that defines whether or not a coach is talented or not. I also don’t think being bigger than the other team defines talent, either. It’ll give you a chance at playing in the NFL before someone else but Nick Fairley and guys like him prove if you go to the right team/conference, you get your shot. Doesn’t mean you’re better, just big enough to play in the NFL-defined style.

                      I’m really intrigued and excited to see how Chip does in Philly. The talent on the offensive side should fit as long as Vick gets it. If not, it’ll be interesting to see how Foles handles it. Kinda wish they hadnt brought Vick back. Would’ve been nice to see them move on.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: oh yeah, and the uniforms are always ugly. i like the old school ones with animated duck on the helmet

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: wow a sentence with the two football names that I respect the least, hoodie “if you aint cheatin you aint tryin” Bill and Chip Kelly. Never cared for NE style, think they only really deserved to win one of those Super Bowls. Just like in my book USC never won the national title in the Uncle Pete era. Remember my name is Jack Full of Hate, I am just set in my ways like my grandparents were. I like what I like and the rest can f**k off.

                    But to give you a little context about me, I grow more and more disgusted from the modern game of pro baseball, pro football, and college football every year. I threw pro and college basketball out the window a while ago. I’m in my late 30’s going on my early 60’s. Evolution and innovation are words that mean nothing to me. I like the game I grew up on and thats pretty much that. Hell I still think the AL is a bunch of pussies for having the DH and thats been around since before I was born. My favorite thing about football is going to a live game, sometimes TV even puts me to sleep. If you were to ask me what is my favorite medium to experience a baseball game, i would say the radio. Thats just how I roll. My main problem is I like to read on the can in the morning so by habit i always pick up the sports page and now you know some of my bowel movement info. Sorry Bro. I know sports and play fantasy for reasons I still havent figured out. Probably something to do with my competitive nature and it being a safer outlet. Not that I’m a psycho or anything, just love to compete.

                    they should stick with the classic green and yellow, it works, looked cool and reminds me of Oregon, like this

                    http://www.thecanadianconnection.biz/images/figures/large/BillyJackHaynes.jpg

                    BJH for life dog!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I’m actually with you about baseball, RE: the radio. I have this MLB package and I’ll watch if I’m curious about how a guy is pitching/looking but I find a huge enjoyment just listening to the game. I think I ‘hear’ it more than I watch it despite having the availability to watch it pretty much anywhere I am.

                      If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure I’ve responded to one of your comments via my iphone/ipad while on the toilet before. The law of averages says at least 3 times by now, probably much more. Now we both know more about the other’s bowel movements than we ever wanted to so we’re even. PS, I promise this is not one of those moments.

                      I started playing because a friend of mine had an opening in his fantasy baseball league that needed to be filled. Stepped in and snagged 3rd, won it the next year and I was hooked. The thing that draws me to fantasy baseball/football is it reminds me of the stock market. In different ways for each, but baseball has so much to it that’s about seeing what others aren’t seeing in the stats – bad luck BABIP vs good for hitters and pitchers – it makes it fun to follow your leads on it and the reasons why you’re buying/selling something for the long term. I got into stocks before I got into fantasy sports and they’re both always a challenge but in the end, following the trends can make you successful in the long run.

                      In reference to BJH, I think I just found my new bed time outfit. The missus is gonna love it!

                    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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                      @Jack Full of Hate: I don’t enjoy live NFL games. You don’t see the replays good, people near you stand up every few minutes to go to the bathroom or buy something, it sucks driving to the stadium and leaving, the parking prices are ridiculous, etc.

                      College games are better because alcohol cannot be sold in the stadium. This leads to fewer bathroom breaks and people stay in their seats for longer spells.

                      The NFL is becoming more like basketball. You almost could skip the first three quarters. Everybody makes a run now.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: Everybody Poops!

                    I was spoiled with Chick Hern and Vin Scully growing up. There was nothing like it and there will never be another like those two. Some of my best memories with my dad was listening to a game on the radio. When I use to have XM I loved having the MLB games on, I learned so many tidbits about players and organizations through those, even a little inside info like who just had a baby. Guys always go off after having a kid, used something like that to have a good stream. Before games they would do the interviews with GM’s a lot and sometimes you could pull some good info of those too. But I also love the art of calling a good game. Some guys have it, most don’t.

                    I started baseball in 2006. Before I was a casual footballer and hockey, which I was very good at. I got hooked for two reasons, First was the love of figuring out my own shit through the numbers, probability as a tool, but in my head. Taking a risk on my observations. I would look for patterns in the game logs and the splits, B vs P, things like that. Like a guy might be bad against lefties, but at home he kills them or a players streaks or slumps may only last for X number of days every time, so you know they were do to break out or go back into them. All crazy stuff in my head, but it worked more often than not. I won my first year in baseball and walked with like 500 bucks, made some good draft day picks like Ryan Howard in the 11th round the year he went 104/58/149/.313 and traded for Beltran and got 127/41/116/18/.275. Things like that, damn what gaudy numbers. But I also played the crap out of the FA, it had its ups and downs, but I took risk to get ahead. The second reason was my FBB(fantasy baseball boyfriend), it’s a babys mama term. My brother died on opening day in 2006, and he called me everyday to talk baseball and fantasy to make sure I was distracted. That distraction turned into what you see today. I crazy fantasy SOB. But that distraction which stills lasts to this day, dude calls to talk fantasy every day or I call him, sometimes multiple times. *we don’t like texting* It’s funny we always talked about doing a site, kinda an alternative to the major site idiots to share our crazy. But I got Razzball now, so I’ll throw that idea out the window. Funny thing is we don’t need Razzball, about 80-90% is shit we already know, but it validates what we talk about. Actually Razzball has made me lazy. Oh how I miss those hot August nights combing the Mexican league stats for numbers to look at and get a kick out of their cool logos. Thats my fantasy story, sorry if the personal stuff makes you uncomfortable, but its legit, like me.

                    This is the longest post ever, not sure if its the beer or the weed, but glad I can help in the bedroom, make sure you get the hat

                    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mlgFhtRIDdw/UUVfBBQqZcI/AAAAAAAAALE/YgrkoT7OD74/s1600/haynes.jpg

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I text fooled my friend for like a week with that ‘Everyone Poops’ book. He said he was looking for a good book and I told him I hadn’t read it yet but I’d heard great things about this Japanese writer named Taro Gomi who had this one called ‘Minna Unchi’ and that is was highly influential among modern day philosophers. Had him going for a week before he looked it up.

                      My childhood wasn’t in one place but most of my baseball memories come with the late Dave Niehaus. Those days of The Kid, The Big Unit, Edgar Martinez, etc and his voice are staples of my early baseball memories. With the way the markets are blacked out for Eugene, I don’t get any bay area baseball nor Mariners so any late west coast games I get will be Dodgers or Angels. If it’s the Dodgers, I’m listening to Vin Scully. No arguments, the man is amazing to listen to.

                      No discomfort at all. For me it was 2007. My soon to be wife and I got back from teaching in South Korea and had different things we needed to do in 2005. She had an X-Ray Tech program that started in Washington she needed to attend to. When we talked about what that meant, we realized she was gonna be hopping all over the place with internships and we weren’t going to live full time where her schooling started anyway so I moved down to Eugene to stay at my dad’s, try and work on some recording and to find something of a stable job for her to move to when schooling was done. As I’m sure you can guess, living with Pops doesn’t go over well at that age and coupled with not having her around, it was a difficult time. Not getting the recording I wanted done along the way was also disheartening. I moved out once I had a stable job that year and the missus and I were fighting a lot because I didn’t ‘record like I said I would’. Along the way, my best friend whom I lived with for a time in HS had become distant. Him and his wife were oil and water and he was working night and day to please her with no results. Of course, I didn’t know that, I just knew he wasn’t talking to me and didn’t wanna stay on the phone long with me when he did. And most of my other friends from high school whom I had stayed in good contact with were starting to slip off the radar as well. Basically by 2007, I went to work, went home, had my soon to be wife be frustrated with me on the phone as I didn’t have anything to say because I was going through mild depression and felt really isolated. Early 2007, one of my old buddies from HS that I’d lost touch with contacts me and asks me to join his baseball league. I’d never played but said ‘sure’ and he asked me to ask my best friend if he wanted to play too. I contacted him and he was all in. It became a reunion of sorts for the three of us. My best friend finally broke it off with his Banshee of a wife within a year and we now talk almost every day again either on the phone or with snide emails/text comments like it used to be. I found Razzball in 2010 after having been extremely successful for my first 3 seasons. They confirmed my bias on how I was approaching drafts and my team and it was fun to read along the way. I was the guy in the draft who took extreme tactics and was also, myself, a waiver wire churner. They even tried to put in a moves limit in my keeper league (the friends one I talk of above) in honor of my near daily roster moves. In the end, it hit my life at the right time and I’ve been hooked ever since. My best friend is crap terrible at it but it’s still a way for us to relate in some small way. The Commish – other friend who’s been running the league – and I will occasionally text/call and ‘talk nerdy to each other’. We have very similar draft day approaches so it’s always fun to see who he has his eye on vs me. Usually, the last 20+ rounds are him and I sniping eachothers picks from one another.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I’m glad the whole death thing doesn’t bother you, most people get weirded out, not sure why.

                    You would think your buddy would be better considering that you do talk about it and that you write for a fantasy website. Is he the kind of guy that wants to lose on his own and never listens to you. I have been that guy that people wanted to stymie with moves limits. They thought it wasn’t fair

                    Recording? like an album?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Nah, it’s a part of life that experience. There are a lot of things that are uncomfortable to talk about for most people, death just happens to be one of them. Might be awkward if you just landed on here and started talking about it and we’d never communicated before but I don’t see why it would be now.

                      My friend just isn’t into it enough. It’s a deep league that requires you to be observant and on top of news and he just never puts in the time. He’d probably do ok in a standard league where guys can float out there for a long time and not get picked up but he doesn’t have the dedication for it.

                      Yeah, I really hated when they tried to throttle moves. Basically, I was successful and they were not so anything I did was cheating. It was pretty lame.

                      Yeah, used to play guitar a lot. Never formed a band but played a couple of coffee gigs in college and even one over in SK. Still fun to pick it up from time to time but I only have time for so many hobbies.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: coffee houses,in the Pacific Northwest, didn’t see that one coming….

                    I forgot that I have one connection to Oregon, besides my love for the Goonies. A guy I went to high school with, he was younger, was the starting QB at Oregon State when they were good in the later 90’s

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Ha, yeah. Played some Alice ‘n’ Chains and some original stuff with a friend. Nothing amazing but it was fun nonetheless.

                      Oh yeah, who was that? Actually had a classmate who was a third-string QB there in the late 90s/early 2000s under Erickson.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: Alice in Chains,one of my all time favorite bands. Saw them in 93 at Lollapalozza, but I think i told you that already…..Jerry Cantrell for life!

                    Johnathan Smith was the guys name, I knew his older brother in high school.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Yup, we have covered that ground. I think we covered ‘Don’t Follow’. Can’t remember what else we did at this point. Wasn’t a long set but it was fun.

                      Tyler Thomas was my guy I knew. Got in based on physical attributes, but the guy had zero drive. Wasn’t surprised his career never took off.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: do you remember smith?

                    Kid had a lot of heart, I remember watching him play freshman football and just leaving impressed by his composure at a young age. Kid would get knocked down and get right back up and go at it

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I honestly don’t but I didn’t have a huge amount of time to enjoy watching college football while in college. Weird world. I’ve know more about my team now then I did back then. Of course, now I’m even less in the loop with the fantasy writing. Life of give and take…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: he led the Beavers to the 2001 Fiesta Bowl where they routed Notre Dame. Thats when the Beavers had Chad Johnson and Houszmanjada

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Ok yeah, now that I looked him up I do kinda remember him. But by 2001, I was trying to get the heck outta dodge and was spending most of my free time traveling to Seattle to see the misses. Not much game watching for me until I got back from SK in 2005.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Holy sweet Maria, I wish I played beisbol down there…

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: I couldn’t play down there, I would need a lot of extra cup space

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Ha!

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: to clarify, it would be turning in the peanut shell for a walnut shell

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Either way, they both meant for nuts

  2. trevor says:
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    So when someone shares the cure for cancer it gets deleted? Thats good to know. No wonder you are so awful at fantasy sports

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Don’t really know what to say to that. Wasn’t really a coherent comment nor was it on topic with fantasy sports so I put it in spam.

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