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Sorry for Partying.  That phrase has become synonymous with one of the most explosive Tight Ends to hit the NFL in recent years and though the media makes it sound like fun, we fantasy owners are not amused.  Whether it’s having a shirtless dance off after the Super Bowl, hooking up with a Lolita in Aruba or whatever it is he’s doing here, Rob Gronkowski has always been one to take life not too seriously and has some major meat-head tendencies.  Not that the NFL hasn’t had meat heads in the past that we all loved to laugh along with.  I mean, Brian Bosworth is still making movies to this day with just the same amount of box office success as when he was in his prime.  I mean, take a look at Boz’s Revelation Road.  It came out in 2013.  It’s also streamable on Netflix in 2013.  PS, we’re still in April of 2013.  As long as you’re not a meat head yourself, the math is pretty basic on how bad of a film that is.  All this to say, this meat head lifestyle can work out just fine.  But notice I’m not talking about on field exploits here?  Exactly my point: sorry for partying isn’t gonna cut it if Rob is sidelined after rumors of another surgery is needed on his left forearm.  This surgery would be #4, BTW.  There have been infection issues up to this point and now the word is that the healing process on the bones has been ‘non-union’.  No word yet on if they’ve tried having these surgeries outside of Wisconsin.  But more to the point, whether it’s fair or not, these off field excursions have to make fantasy owners a little worried about a full dedication to his health.  If you’re gonna draft a guy in the top 20, you kinda want to have faith that he’ll rehab from surgery correctly and be ready to start the season, no?  Rhetorical.  Of COURSE you do.  The key thing here is that Rob is of a special class of TE, the rare ‘set it and forget it’ type that we all love but we might not have that from him for the 2013 Fantasy Football season and this scares us all greatly.  Sorry for partying indeed, Mr. Gronk.  If there is yet another surgery and the infection lingers, owners might wanna shy away from Rob for this season in redraft leagues unless he goes low enough.  In other news for fantasy football…

Chris Ivory - Signed his tender offer with the Saints after a weekend full of rumors regarding signing with the Jets and trade rumors still circulating regarding the Saints 4th string running back.  This is a running back that is a must own if he’s a starter but in that shizz show backfield, he’s now just a must monitor.  Ugh, the Saints are like that dude at the party who keeps all the hot chicks strung along all night, leaving the rest of us to fight over the one that has the most teeth.  Though I’m sure PETA will have this site shut down for saying it, I really do hope some team poaches Ivory from the Gulf Coast.

Darrelle Revis – The rumors surrounding Ivory have a direct correlation to Revis’ move to the Bucs, so long as twitter isn’t lying.  And why would it, twitter never lies.  Isn’t that right, Lennay Kekua?  Revis goes to Tampa Bay for a slew of picks pending physical.  This might drop late in the evening and I might miss my chance to write about Chris if he goes to the Jets for one of those aforementioned picks.  If you reeaaaallly wanna read about him right now, I’ll give you my Chris Ivory sleeper post from 2012 to assuage your needs.  Consider yourself assuaged!

In other news, the NFL schedule came out last Thursday night and people got all hot and bothered.  Now I do think there’s some merit to reviewing these types of things.  There are perennial losers and perennial winners. But no one had the Denver Broncos defense ranked particularly high last year and they finished as the 3rd best fantasy defense according to yahoo.  The reality is, you can have all the talent in the world on the defensive side but the coach is what makes the parts work.  The Detroit Lions should be better on defense.  They’re not.  They’re undisciplined and that stems directly from a head coach who gets into altercations over getting slapped on the back too hard.  The reality is, we don’t know what we’re going to get defensively in 2013 even from the Chicago Bears who’ve had a head coach change over the off-season.  So for those of you who like to hang your hats on ‘he’s got a great playoff schedule’, it’s a little early to make that call and it’s also a bit of bull to pretend we know what a team in April will look like defensively in December.  Sorry, not a road I’m gonna follow you down, folks.  With that, get back to work.  It’s Monday and you’re already slacking.  Not a good sign.

From Around The Web

  1. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    but my job is slacking…

    too bad for Ivory, his dreams of playing in the pros keep getting squashed by the saints who are acting like priests, keeping that boy locked in the tabernacle

    Gronk will never be on my team again, that pic was eye opening into the soul of a class A douchebag.

    hey, can you see my e-mail? i need to ask/tell you something I want to do off site, shoot me over an e-mail if you can

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Email sent. Have the week off the build a retaining wall. Then I found out from the boss I sent the wrong list to someone and had to figure out how to fix that. Then went back to building a retaining wall. Then Tequila, then sleep. Twas a long day.

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: a retaining wall…lucky, I want to go play in the dirt

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          You’re hired! Now I can just sit back and take tequila shots and watch you do it.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Oh and I’m off to start day two of it all so my communication will be limited. Toodles!

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: toodles….I love it.

            But if you’re ging to be watching me work on a wall its going to be lots and lots of crack

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              As long as its not cracks in the wall, I’ll take it.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: its the crack that god gave me

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Your Lord is dealing…you sure it’s God?

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: well that’s what it says on his grill

  2. Tehol Beddict says:
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    what did his dong look like?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      You are our roving dong reporter. I’m still waiting for your candid exclusive for that info.

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: dude does have some huge hands

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Well he’s go the whole world in his hands.

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: well, at least a lot of hot ass

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Yep, he gets the 72 virgins those jack-holes think they’re getting.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: is that Al-Rob Gron Nazari Sarkiski?

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Haha I thought we were still talking about The Lord, your dealer. Gronk is a physical freak, something tells me all the random ladies/porn stars he’s been with would agree.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: you commented on the wrong conversation, my dealers grill says GOD in diamonds

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I’m not surprised. Been out since about 8:30 this morning until around 5’ish working on that wall and am now about 4 shots and a beer in (another beer forthcoming). Sucker’s almost done, tomorrow should be the finishing touches and then I get to enjoy the remainder of my time off…if I can still move.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I highly recommend a video games and beer day to get the body right

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I might just take you up on that idea. For now, beer and a bad movie with David Arquette will do.

                  • Jack Hearts Sky says:
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                    @Sky: Eight Legged Freaks?

                    Never Been Kissed?

                    Ready to Rumble?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      The Cottage. Didn’t finish it, fell asleep. Something that was new and streamable on Netflix. It was a stream of something alright…

                  • Jack Hearts Sky says:
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                    @Sky: good idea, beer and Never Been Kissed always makes me tear up

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Drew Barrymore has a way of doing that.

                  • Jack Hearts Sky says:
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                    @Sky: don’t get me started on riding in cars with boys * walks away to get tissues*

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      yeah but those are just to clean up the ‘mess’.

                  • Jack Hearts Sky says:
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                    @Sky: let’s just say they serve a dual purpose: crying after punching the clown

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Tears of a clown when there’s no one around just took on a whole new meaning

                  • Jack Hearts Sky says:
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                    @Sky: sorry I shattered the glass for you, speaking of Mr. Robinson, where is smokey? I thought he was the underwear model on the podcast yesterday, that guy makes grey’s Slater seem sober, I need me some pen, just a little hit of pen…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Tehol is the underwear model and was on today. Smokey was probably still too stoned from 4/20 to participate.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: aw ha, Tehol sounds super loaded on the podcast, more so than Grey or Smokey….not that there is anything wrong with that

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      He probably rolled a doobie in his boxer briefs.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I call that the sack stash

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      That would’ve been a better ending to the Crying Game…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky:” hey, buddy smoke this”

                    “thats huge”

                    ” sure is, it’s 3.5 grams”

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I’m picturing a cartoonish stretching of the pants and reach into the pants for the weed in this conversation.

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