Don’t get me wrong, I love my son. It is a beautiful thing to see part of you walking around outside your own body. Personally, I don’t get why there are so many Facebook things about “oh I wish my kid would stay young forever!” The joy is in watching them grow and gain new skills. But holy f*ck, stop getting me sick little dude. I wish I had the brain power to type something witty and funny here for an intro, but my sinuses are honestly impeding my frontal cortex. So bear with my Phineaus Gage semi-strep lobotomized article this week. We’re still going streaking! As always I focus on players that are owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues following waivers on Thursday mornings. I know you got that green hat Snoop-a-loop.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There comes a point during the baseball season where the NFL ramps up and my ADD can’t handle the two tracks. Inevitably, as my fantasy baseball teams fade away, I get so pumped in all the early drafts for fantasy football. The draft and holds, regular draft prep, training camp buzz… And here we sit in NFL Week 6, and I’m back in the baseball pool. Cubs possibly getting screwed over by a rain postponement, the Yankees taking down Kluber in Game 5. What the hell is going on?!?!? With a great first round of MLB playoffs and the clusterf*ck that has become my fantasy teams with all the injuries, it’s hard to resist the baseball pull. But just remember that it’s not just you suffering through the injuries and ineffectiveness. You may have that one dude in your league who’s dodged all the bullets, drafted all the late round guys that ended up hitting.. But this game is a fickle bitch that comes for our pride and dignity just when we think we’ve got it beat. Stick with us, and we’ll help you pull it out. All of the phrasing intended with that right there. Let’s go streaming! As always, I focus on guys owned in less than 65% of leagues after waivers run on Thursday mornings in Yahoo leagues. Bring your green hat Snoop-aloop!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fantasy football will always be the best distraction in my life and I love that I get to share it with you guys. I love answering your questions in the comments, I love chatting about the game. I’m like your own personal fantasy football Mr. Meseeks. But sometimes we need to focus on real life and share on that front too… So back when Mulan originally came out in 1998, McDonalds released a special Szechuan sauce to coincide with the movie. And then it was brutally and forcefully ripped from our hands by big corporations that don’t care about the little people. Fast forward 20 years, where cartoons and a lot of nagging on Twitter can change things (OK, let’s be real, nothing every gets resolved on Twitter). The cult of Rick and Morty fans, rabid after a season 3 premiere where Rick refers to the magical Mulan McNugget sauce as his “one-armed man”, intersect with the announcement of a live action Mulan movie and the snowball gets rolling. To the point where McDonald’s gives away a few large containers of the special sauce to the creators and a few lucky fans, one jug of which apparently got up to $4,000 in bidding on eBay, and we now get a special day on October 7th where certain McDonald’s location will have a limited supply of sauce. I bring this up for two reasons. One – someone help a brother stranded in Iowa cornfields out and send me some of this stuff. Two – in spite of the bigger societal issues, if we band together and focus on distractive efforts (like fantasy football or the commenter community here at Razzball), we can do anything. Hopefully with extra sauce. Let’s go streaming! As always, I focus on guys owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues after waivers process on Thursday. The bye weeks are here and the dives get a little deeper, but you’re in the trust tree Frank. I got ya. Bring that green hat Snoop-a-loop!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seriously, who covered Week 3 in the d*cks? Maybe it’s the massive binge of American Vandal I’ve been on and that’s the best parallel I can draw. Maybe it’s the fact that this week was a big red donger on the face of the NFL. Or my picks. BUT I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS INJUSTICE! Like Peter Maldanado, lets quick spank it to an American Apparel catalog, and then get to the bottom of this clusterf*ck. But seriously, without dick references, let’s put this week in a box and bury it. And then right after I typed that, I started singing Dick In A Box in my head. Quick tangential thought: Bring on Timberlake during the halftime show. I’d rather jam out to him than Lady GaGa a million times over. But I digress. Let’s go streaming! As always, I shoot for guys that are owned in less than 65% of leagues after waivers process Wednesday nights. Bring your green hat Snoop-a-loop!!!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s up you sophisticated sex machines? Feeling the pressure of injuries? Has ineffectiveness spread beyond your work day to your fantasy team? Not enough ineffectiveness at work (you overachieving bastard)? Never fear, as I am here for your stream options whenever you find yourself up the proverbial creek sans paddle. They might not be the prettiest options, but we all know you’ve gone hogging before in college so stop acting like you are above scraping the bottom of the barrel.  As always, I use Yahoo ownerships and target players at the main streaming positions that are owned in 65% of leagues or less. QBs, tight ends, defenses! Oh yeah, kickers too! Who could forget those guys?Let’s go Snoop-a-loop, bring your green hat! WE’RE GOING STREAMING!!!

Razzball Football’s partner FantasyDraft is starting a new sign-up promotion this week, all new depositing signups receive a free $4 “Everyone Wins” NFL GPP ticket for the upcoming Sunday slate along with offering all players 4% cash back on their initial deposits! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What a Week 1! Everyone is in full freakout mode. Seriously, during my yearly check-up why was the doctor so concerned with the amount of illicit materials I ingest and not the amount of heartache I suffer from fantasy football? But I would like to use this opportunity not just to say calm the fluff down, but to remind you that this week brings hope. Whether you got skunked by a Hunt owner or got beat by a ball hair, a win this week puts you back at even. Don’t go making moves that you are going to regret later on in the season because you are 0-1. Likewise, guys will suck Week 1 and be bosses in Week 2. And Kareem Hunt could put up a stat line like Leveon Bell and get knocked off the proverbial pedestal. Football is an ebb and flow. Yin and yang. Lamb and tunafish… You know, natural dichotomies and whatnot. But enough with the philosophical discussion. I’m back with an extended version of streamers for your Week 2 consideration. As always, I use Yahoo ownerships and target players that are owned in 65% of leagues or less. Let’s go Snoop-a-loop, bring your green hat!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to Week 1 sports fans. All that time spent taking in the awesome draft content here at Razzball and mock drafting from your work computer has led you to the real thing.. And you thought you’d been neglecting your family this past month or so? Child’s play compared to 17 weeks dominated by football. Hope you signed that prenup.

In this space this year, we will be looking at streaming options for your leagues. Generally I will use 65% as a cutoff line, and I will be looking at Yahoo ranks. Typically the best spots to stream are QB and DST and Tight Ends. If there is a demand for kickers or any other positions, I will add them in the coming weeks. Be sure to hit me up in that comment section for anything you’d like to see in this space, or just to talk smack. Now with it being Week 1, it should just be simple and play your studs. But with Irma bearing down on Florida, we now have two teams with byes Week 1 (which I something I never thought I would say). Everyone is in scramble mode. Who should you grab? Let’s get into some plays…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I come to you from two weeks in the future. Like a really short-term Terminator. A… Sherminator?

I joke, I kidd. But seriously. I’m a sophisticated sex robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky… fantasy… player…

Let’s get real. Your fantasy drafts are starting. You can almost feel the tick-of-the-pick clock in some scenarios. Everyone is cramming in as much information as they can. Top 200’s, position ranks, team previews, hot takes galore. And so, like all that cramming you did in college, you have to choose some things to skip over and hope they don’t matter. Like foreplay or lubrication. Oh, you thought we were talking about a different type of cramming?

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Join here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?