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Jay

Author: Jay

Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell. You can follow him on Twitter @jaywrong.

Read some of Jay's 685 posts

Jay

Happy Patriots Schadenfreude Day!

October 3, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 57 Comments

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Yesterday we had a little bit of everything, didn’t we? After voluntarily waking up early for a Colts-Jaguars game in London, I wondered: What happened to my life that would make me do such a thing? I mean, you’d think after all we’ve done for the United Kingdom over the years, they’d have the courtesy to be on the same time zone. And we had plenty of expected outcomes like my Chargers once again clutching a loss from the jaws of victory, the Browns being their usually Brownsy selves, a boring Sunday night primetime game, Cam Newton concussing (a word?) himself again, and, of course, DeAndre Hopkins showing us where all hope goes to die. And then something… majestic happened, something rare. (Some say it only happens once a decade…) But we, as a nation, for the first time this season, witnessed the first Patriots loss of the year. And it was to the hapless Bills. What a time to be alive. In fact, both (or one, or none, who knows?) of the Ryans coached a defense that shut out the Patriots for the first time since 2006, and the first time in New England since 1993. Seems good. But as someone once said, you don’t know the sweet unless you’ve tasted sour. The sour? The Rams and Raiders, the current and former Los Angeles football teams, are currently in playoff contention. One team is coached by Jeff Fisher, and the other by Jack Del Rio. Soak that wierd sh*t in for a second…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Sunday Night Football Live Thread, Week 4: Chiefs vs. Steelers

October 2, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Game Day Live Thread | 26 Comments

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When given the opportunity, I will never not use this. You have my word.

Look guys, if I could make a post where it was just that GIF and nothing else, I’d do it. But that’s kind of like someone spending a few hours making you cupcakes and then just eating the frosting. Sorry mom! And trust me, this was a hard decision-making process I went through there, with all the HARF HARF Big Ben GIFs that we have uploaded and ready to go, sorta how Roethlisberger describes himself around the bathroom stall. And while it sucks that I’ve been writing about football so long that I know how to spell Roethlisberger’s last name without Googling it first, it does give some perspective on a pretty intriguing Sunday Night Football game, probably the most intrugingest of the year. On another note, I’ve been doing this long enough to make up my own words, so yeah. Both teams have a questionable loss, but are 2-1, both teams have playoff aspirations (with potential… I’m sure the Browns, actually, no, I’m sure the Colts have aspirations, just not the potential, for example), and both are expecting their star running backs to make their debut tonight. One because he’s gets injured every three weeks, and other because of the ganja. Who will make the bigger impact? Which team will come out on top, thus taking a closer step to eventually losing to the Patriots in the playoffs? How many timeouts will Andy Reid eat? Find out all the answers to these questions and more tonight!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Sunday Games Live Thread, Week 4

October 2, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Game Day Live Thread | 81 Comments

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jags

Well, it’s that time again where we jump over the pond with our very own little franchise that couldn’t, known to some (a few) as the Jaguars. It’s almost an annual thing at this point and one has to wonder if the NFL knows how to market something properly if they want to actually grow the brand outside of the states. But hey, this time it’s all good, because the Colts are coming and I’m pretty sure that the football version of Hodor would go over quite well in London. I mean, I assume that Game of Thrones has no borders. True, they have a wall, but it’s not like the white walkers paid for it, ya know what I’m saying? After waking up way earlier than we should and adding an extra three hours of drinking time, the rest of the slate in the North American continent consists of such gems like the Titans at Texans, Browns at Washington, and the Lions at Bears. Ugh. There is an interesting Seahawks versus Jets game if you are interested in napping. And then there are the Bills and Patriots. Hey, at least you’re not going to lose to Julian Edelman as quarterback… well, I mean, unless Jimmy Garoppolo goes down again. Then, yeah… about that…

Be sure to check out Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with updated projections for Week 4 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Podcast: A Conversation with former ESPN Producer PodVader

October 1, 2016 | 2016 Blogtalkradio League, 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Podcast, Fantasy Football Podcast | 16 Comments

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As the title says, this podcast is a bit shorter than your usual ones (that’s what she said! And it’s totally normal!), but what we lack in time, we make up in guest power. If you’ve been following the show, we’ve been updating what’s being going on in the BlogTalkRadio “Expert” league hosted by PodVader and today we discuss the league a bit where Razzball is one of two teams left undefeated. Following, we turn to the league and discuss the Steelers and Eagles, when the right time is to start making moves for your team, and other tidbits. Only because I wanted to use the word “tidbits”…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

So, the Dolphins Really Suck, Right?

September 30, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 37 Comments

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I think it’s safe to say that the Dolphins… are not a good football team. Actually, they are pretty terrible. I mentioned in the Live Thread last night that there are usually two versions of the Bengals that show up in primetime games, a regular season version and a playoff version. Now, we got a little bit of both last night… and that’s probably too generous, but there is apparently just one version of the Dolphins, and I call it: “Oh god…” (I’m an atheist, for context.) I last time I’d seen that much incompetence by the color orange since the Presidential Debate. Despite the game being an amazing period of time to nap in, (yes, technically it was a two-score game… sort of like how Taco Bell is “technically” food), but I would like to point out that at the least the Bengals didn’t go full orange during the color rush epoch. They saved us from Dolphin orange on orange mixed with a darker Bengals orange on orange, which would have probably cause color blindness to all viewers. On the bright side, that much orange may have also been the cure to color blindness, so there’s that I guess. (To be fair, I did kind of like the Dolphins color rush uniforms, but I had a hard time remembering what college they played for…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Thursday Night Football Live Thread, Week 4: Dolphins vs. Bengals

September 29, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Game Day Live Thread | 54 Comments

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orangefan

You know, I always look forward to watching the Bengals in primetime, if only to see which team shows up. The “regular season” version which has a dynamic offense that moves the ball both on the ground and vertically mixed with a potent and aggressive defense… or the “playoffs” version which is everything that the regular season version is, but the opposite and a heaping side of derp. Yes, true, we do find the “playoff” version lurking around at times during the regular season, but since they are at home and against the Dolphins, I’m probably not holding my breath. And while you could point out that the Dolphins are coming off a huge emotional win in Week 3, I would simply remind you that it was against the Browns…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Fantasy Football Rest of Season Rankings

September 29, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Rankings | 59 Comments

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As I alluded to earlier today in our Week 4 Rankings post…

“Now it’s time… we are in Week 4, and after this upcoming weekend, you should know what your team is about. What are its needs? The strengths? What’s your league look like? Any move(s) that you want to make needs to happen in the next two weeks, because even the teams at the bottom of the standings have a chance to turn it all around before then, they’re just looking for ways to do it. That should go for the teams up top and in the middle too. Start looking at your schedule (both in real football and fantasy), take note of byes, see what kind of matchups you’ll have… Basically, start setting up yourself to be the most informed fantasy football player the next two weeks and take advantage of it, because once we get to the end of October, only the top-third of you will still be around.”

With that said, here are your Rest of Season Rankings…

Note: These rankings will be updated on a week-to-week basis from this point forward, and can be accessed in our “Rankings” section of the menu above at any time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Fantasy Football Rankings, Week 4

September 29, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Rankings, 2016 Weekly Rankings | 131 Comments

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The fourth week of football (and fantasy football) has arrived, and with it the pain and suffering of being a Chargers fan has finally set in. Woe is me, just a man playing a game with first world problems. But we should always look on the bright side, the silver lining of it all. That’s the spirit! And so during this time of anguish and frustration, what’s the one thing that keeps my head up, that shining beacon of hope, the light at the end of the tunnel? Knowing that the Browns are still a thing that exists. Regardless, as we reach the first quarter of the season, we all certainly have other crisises? crisisee? crises to worry about beyond fandom, and that is the state of your fantasy football team. If you’ve been a reader of this site for a while, you all know that I’m a pretty conservative when it comes to the first month of the season. And if you’re new around here, well then, that last sentence was for you. So what are you waiting for? Now it’s time… we are in Week 4, and after this upcoming weekend, you should know what your team is about. What are its needs? The strengths? What’s your league look like? Any move(s) that you want to make needs to happen in the next two weeks, because even the teams at the bottom of the standings have a chance to turn it all around before then, they’re just looking for ways to do it. That should go for the teams up top and in the middle too. Start looking at your schedule (both in real football and fantasy), take note of byes, see what kind of matchups you’ll have… Basically, start setting up yourself to be the most informed fantasy football player the next two weeks and take advantage of it, because once we get to the end of October, only the top-third of you will still be around. But don’t worry, we’ll be sure to help you get through it all, especially since with two weeks of data in books, our rankings returned to our usual norms in Week 3, reaching the top 15% percentile of all experts and finishing 22nd overall last week.

Here are your Week 4 Fantasy Football Rankings (with our Rest of Season Rankings coming later today)…

Note: To all Razzball Commenter League players out there, our master standings are out and you can find them here or in the menu bar above, under “Leagues”.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Welcome to the Derpdome

September 27, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 155 Comments

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Well, that was something. And if you think I’m referring to the Presidential debate instead of the game, I’d say, why not both? And while I won’t go into politics here, I’ll do one better and I promise not to drop that “special” teams joke that I’m sure will be the go-to joke at your cooler talk-sesh (are water coolers still a thing?), but I would still continue to point out that weekday football is still, to this very day, able to bring one of two things; derpy or boring. There is no in-between, no negotiation, no choice. These two, that’s it. And you add two teams from the NFC South to the mix? Well, just one look above to see the majesty and grace of “wtf?” confirms my aforementioned theory. And while my predicted score was just a tiny bit aggressive, we still arrived at an Arena Football-esque score. And at times, it was pretty hard to believe that there were Saints players on the field at all when the Falcons were on offense. Then again you could say the same about the Falcons, but to a lesser degree. So I guess I just described this game perfectly: Saints really bad, Falcons a little bit less. Really rolls off the tongue…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Monday Night Football Live Thread, Week 3: Falcons vs. Saints

September 26, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Game Day Live Thread | 12 Comments

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woofalcons

I’m pretty sure I could compare tonight’s Monday Night Football game to that of the first Presidential debate pretty closely, but I get kinda stuck at who plays the part of Donald Trump. Like, I think the obvious choice would be Sean Peyton, but then we’d have to inject his skin with Cheetos to get the correct pigment. Hey, if you’re going to do an analogy, you gotta go 100%. But since this is a day where football actually will finish second to something other than it’s own news, I don’t mind going ahead and just talking about the matchup tonight that features two dumpster fires. I’m actually talking about football this time guys. Yes, the eternal battle between two floundering NFC South teams not named the Panthers is on full display tonight as we get to see the idea of defense be dismissed and scorned like the silly idea that it is to both these teams. Generally, I’d usually pick the home team between the two, so the Saints get my vote (see what I did there?), but I think the real debate (did it again, red hot fire they call me folks) is how many points the teams score total. I’m guessing in the thousands, but you’re right, that number sounds a bit too conservative. (WOOOO. Trifecta baby!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Bears Trying for the Picnic Basket, Getting the Casket

September 26, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 94 Comments

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Contrary to most people, Fantasy Football actually reinforces my belief in a higher power. Because in my opinion, the statistical probability that the Bears would be so uniquely irrelevant for such a long amount time is far less likely than a giant vengeful sky man wanting to live with you when you die. And if we are talking in terms of fantasy (something we do from time to time), it doesn’t seem that long ago when Jay Cutler was doing his best impersonation of Jay Cutler, but with a cast of Matt Forte, Martellus Bennett, Brandon Marshall, and Alshon Jeffery. Sure, they were still full of derp, still kinda bordered the line between mediocre and hilarious, but they had an offense. More importantly, they had an offense that you wanted to draft on your team. Now all that’s left is Alshon Jeffery living in Hoyer Country. (If he throws a Hail Mary, what shall they do about their papist neighbors?) So whats wrong with the Bears offense? Is it: A) Hoyer can’t throw the ball, B) Kevin White doesn’t know what a Route Tree is, C) The offensive line can’t block, D) Alshon Jeffery hasn’t cared since they shipped Marshall off to the Jets, or E.) All the above? And sure, lets give some credit to the Cowboys. Ezekiel Elliott had a terrific game on the ground (kudos to Zach for calling it in his Start ‘Em/Sit ‘Em post), and Dak Presscott looks pretty legitimate. I mean, let’s be honest, drafting a good quarterback by accident is just about the most Cowboys thing ever. But while I deal with my own feelings as a Chargers fan (alcohol is involved), I have to wonder why the Bears even exist right now, but then I remember that the Cleveland Browns are still a thing and it all makes sense.

Here’s what else I saw in Sunday’s Week 3 games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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