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What this picture presupposes is, maybe it should be?

Welcome to what could be called the “first installment” of our 2016 Draft Strategy. This journey will help prepare you for Draft day, and will likely also be filled with an assortment of snacks ranging from TWIX® candy bars and FUNYUNS®, basically what I like to call: breakfast. And don’t tell me why they’re written all in caps, that’s their official “name”, so I can only assume that we are meant to shout it out every time, which, now that I think of it, seems totally natural. Q: “What are you hungry for?” A: “TWIX MOTHER F*CKER!” See what I mean? Regardless, this opening salvo of strategic knowledge (everything sounds better when weaponized) is focused for those of you who have no idea what fantasy football is or what it does. And yes, to all the Razzball regulars, you’ve read this before, but I know there are some of you out there that are new to the site or new to the game. If so, this Beginners Guide to Fantasy Football is for you. And listen, don’t be afraid of being the “noob”, that’s not a derogatory title for me. It can be derogatory, but for those who do use it as a negative descriptor, just remember, they were noobs once too. We all have to start somewhere… Which is probably your mom’s basement. And if that’s the case, you’ve completed half the journey, some would say. (Me!)

So, you want to play Fantasy Football? Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, wouldn’t it be cool if you could take on some of your favorite contributors and all of the Razzball readers/commenters in one huge Free Fantasy Football League? IT WOULD BE COOL YO. That’s why we made this possible. And why it was in all caps. Welcome to the 2016 Fantasy Football RCL! Where all of the Razzballers get to hang out, talk some football, and compete against each other in the game we all love. While we can’t create a single 500 person league as of yet, since the technology has yet to be invented, what we can do is create multiple 12-person leagues and pit them all against each other. If you don’t like that, well, you can be the one to wait for the future to come. So enjoy those dragons with lasers, wearing leather and blasting Daft Punk. ENJOY IT. However, if you are not such a timey prude, join us for some fantasy football funnage. Totally a word. So I present to you: the 2016 RCL Fantasy Football Season, with prizes!

Before you get started, I know that some of you out there may have never played fantasy football before. That’s okay! Razzball will have a Beginners Fantasy Football Guide tomorrow just for you! Maybe you’re a seasoned veteran, well, we have a 2016 Fantasy Football Draft Kit that’s being updated everyday, be sure check it out multiple times. (That’s what she said.) And can’t think of a team name? Check out our Fantasy Football Team Name Generator. Need some rankings? Oh, we got some Fantasy Football Rankings for ya! Now, let’s get to the good stuff…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In a “low-energy cast”, Tehol and I return to the old school style of doing things. In that, I mean we do it Double Dragon style. For those of you who remember Nintendo, you know what’s up. For those of you who don’t, well then, just assume it’s sexual innuendo and move on. Regardless, because it was a small news week and the big “draft” Podcasts (a two-part series hopefully) won’t be created (in all it’s majesty) and all it’s parentheses until next week, we stuck to some NFL topics that are somewhat fantasy relevant… like RG-III and Ryan Fitzpatrick. Haha, fantasy relevant…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Rankings: Top-200 (Standard) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QBRB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR)RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR)WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR)TE (PPR) | K | DST

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
2015 57.5% 22 out of 123 59.9% 51.6% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

And that’s it folks. Rankings are now done, and for those of you who have asked for projections, I’ve been working on them all week and hopefully we’ll get them out some time soon. (Next week is our goal!) In the meantime, our preseason content will now start to gain a bit more focus. So here are your 2016 Tight End Dynasty Rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Rankings: Top-200 (Standard) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QBRB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR)RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR)WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR)TE (PPR) | K | DST

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
2015 57.5% 22 out of 123 59.9% 51.6% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

As mentioned in our Dynasty Top-150 post the other day, it’s our first time doing dynasty rankings here at Razzball and we’re continuing the trend by bringing you the position-by-position rankings. Hey, it’s almost Déjà vu! Mostly because it is. Even more so because I borrowed that opening line from yesterday. Can you tell how much I want to get rankings over with? I can! Well, I mean, of course I can, I know exactly what I want… I am in touch with myself. I actually believe that works both literally and figuratively, which seems almost too clever, even for me. Then again, I’m almost making this intro into an existential clusterf*ck, so let’s just get to the rankings. Next up are Tight Ends and then we are finally done! WOOOOOOOOOO!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Rankings: Top-200 (Standard) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QBRB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR)RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR)WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR)TE (PPR) | K | DST

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
2015 57.5% 22 out of 123 59.9% 51.6% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

As mentioned in our Dynasty Top-150 post the other day, it’s our first time doing dynasty rankings here at Razzball and we’re continuing the trend by bringing you the position-by-position rankings. Hey, it’s almost Déjà vu! Mostly because it is. But hey, just like my lovemaking, we gotta get these Dynasty Rankings out quick so we can get to the real meat and potatoes of our preseason content schedule. Sex joke? Check. Food metaphor? Check. French words with multiple accents? PRICELESS. (Ripping off a Mastercard commercial joke that’s dated… uh… Check?)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey! It’s our first episode of the year and it is ghetto as f*ck. Weeeeeee wouldn’t have it any other way. Trust me, if you like Rice Krispies (who doesn’t?), then I know you’ll appreciate the random snap, crackle, pops that occur, Tehol’s up-and-down noise-making, and the sound of my voice, which makes it seem we recorded this pod in a small empty closet. I cannot really confirm nor deny this, but I can say is that we covered a lot of topics from the offseason and went over our Razzball mock draft, with quite the crew assemblage. Zach, Jenn, Kevin, and Tehol all joined me during this amazing celebration of low-background static. And honestly, I can say it’ll get better from here as we’ve ordered new equipment and some editing software. We’re entering the big time folks. Or medium time. Small big-time? Yeah, let’s go with that one…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, this is it, one of the last required information dumps (hehe, dump) for the masses in preparation for the 2016 Fantasy Football Drafts that are all coming in a month or so. We just have a few more dynasty rankings, projections, and some other surprises coming, but we are almost set in terms of laying down the foundation of this year’s fantasy content. And then, we can actually talk about all this stuff we’ve been releasing, providing context and yo momma jokes galore. And for those of you who have never played in an auction draft, or for those of you who do nothing but make it rain when you hear the words Antonio and Brown in the same sentence, I’ll go over some pointers and overall auction strategy soon, as to facilitate moderate to heavy alcohol consumption without the fear of drafting Mark Sanchez just because you thought nachos would have gone great with that glass of bourbon. Literal nachos would have, mind you…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Rankings: Top-200 (Standard) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QBRB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR)RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR)WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR)TE (PPR) | K | DST

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
2015 57.5% 22 out of 123 59.9% 51.6% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

As mentioned in our Dynasty Top-150 post the other day, it’s our first time doing dynasty rankings here at Razzball and we’re continuing the trend by bringing you the position-by-position rankings. We’ll go a bit faster with these and have them finished up on Monday so we can move to the rest of our preseason content. So enjoy this blitz of rankings after the weekend! (See what I did there? Blitz? Oh you saw.) Only the best here at Razzball. Or the worst. Who even knows anymore…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 Rankings: Top-200 (Standard) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QBRB (Standard) | RB (Half-PPR)RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) | WR (Half-PPR)WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR)TE (PPR) | K | DST

Dynasty Rankings: Top-150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

Year Accuracy Rank High Low Percentile
2015 57.5% 22 out of 123 59.9% 51.6% Top 20%
2014 58.1% 31 out of 125 60.7% 50.6% Top 25%

Welcome to the first annual Razzball Fantasy Football Dynasty Rankings list-a-roo. I capped it AND italicized it, because it’s just that special. Just like my first time with your mother… Spoiler Alert! We’re doing things keeper league style, dynasty style… whichever nomenclature you prefer. Basically, if you hold onto players for more than a year, these are the rankings you’ve been waiting your whole life for. Whole life maaan. (Seriously. I think…) Remember, the process for this list is quite unique, in that this isn’t your list. It’s my list. So, yeah, I’ll love guys a lot more than you will, or vica versa. And I think these differences can be even more pronounced in this format. It’s just the way it is. So yeah, if you stuck me in a dynasty league this very instant, this is pretty much the list, in order, of who I’d personally want long term. Things like previous production, expected 2016 production, projections for 2016-2018,  future potential, age, position, and injury-risk are all things I bake into the rankings. Because what is a Jay post without a food or cooking reference? NOTHING. Regardless, I’m pretty sure that the big takeaway here is that I believe in the Oxford comma. And I guess a lot of comma’s in general. And short sentences. And baking. And food. And your mother. Word.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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