Look people, you try to make a pun out of “Ark”… Regardless, it appears that the top AFC teams coming out of the halfway point in the 2016 season are the usual New England Patriots and the… Oakland Raiders…? I honestly wish I knew why this was happening. I… I think the sun is starting to set on where I live, and I mean that in the most figurative way possible, because, you know, daylight savings time. But this is indeed a strange world we live in. The Oakland Raiders, led by the one Carr brother that’s actually not bad, Amari Cooper, and Latavius “I’ll always be 3/4 of an elite back” Murray, have managed to find themselves in first place in the AFC West with an impressive 5-0 record on the road. Because honestly, the only things that do well in Oakland are bails bondsman, and, you know, gentrification. Progress I guess. But wouldn’t it be great if the Raiders could be added that list? As a totally-not-biased-at-all-trust-me Chargers fan (and I’m throwing up a little in my mouth right now typing this), but it’s a shame that the Raiders have a solid chance to have a pretty great year, and it’s being overshadowed with rumors of the team possibly moving. And we’re talking about a post-Los Angeles not being able to be used as leverage timeline that we’re in, and Mark Davis is still able to do this. Maybe they’ll move to a magical place… called Houston. I don’t think there’s a team there… Listen, my life receives no benefit for suggesting such a radical idea as rooting about a specific aspect for a franchise that, at times, was the black eye (literally too!) of the league, but I did it anyways. A Chargers fan speaking kindly of the Raiders? Truly, the end is nigh.

Here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s Week 9 Sunday games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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There’s a lot of conjecture on the how and why America’s most popular sport is losing popularity. Some might point to it being an election season, which doesn’t make much sense as I’m sure most people are struggling to put themselves as far away from stated election season as much as possible. I mean, talk about bad timing for cut backs at NASA. Could it be the lack of quality matchups on Monday Night and Thursday Night Football? I guess that could be part of it, seeing as how I’ve seen enough of the Bears, Titans, and Jaguars in prime time to think that it’s a deliberate attempt by the league to test the limits of profitability. There was also a compelling World Series, with a ratings-heavy postseason for baseball. And of course, lastly, there is a structural mechanism here that’s in play, the fact that America is moving away from cable viewership, mostly because we as a nation love cat GIFs. And I sort of agree here, all of these aspects do seem to be well-reasoned arguments of why the sport is in decline. But in all this thought-exercise, you’d have to admit that the biggest factor here is perhaps the quality of the sport is in decline… right? Call me crazy, but I’ve been pointing out every week it seems now that the quality that the NFL is providing is not on par with what I think our expectations are. The outlandish reactions to a black quarterback utilizing his first amendment rights, the continued nepotistic boys club of announcers who are just completely awful at what they do. I mean, has anyone understood north of 25% of the words that even come out of Shannon Sharpe’s mouth? Berman, you’ve been yelling RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAIDERS! for fifty years man. You got anything else? I mean, the fact that Ray Lewis held a job with ESPN was the biggest gaslighting I’ve seen from that network. And then you add in all the penalties for jumping two inches off the ground, yet Vontaze Burfict is in the league. Are we the viewers starting to notice? Maybe. All I know is, I love football, but hate the NFL at this point, and I can certainly see that maybe I’m not the only one…

On a lighter note, maybe this is why we have fantasy football! Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 9 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 8 46 out of 134 76 13 90 65 73 33
Week 7 5 out of 138 58 2 36 30 22 56
Week 6 92 out of 137 101 60 87 63 18 55
Week 5 9 out of 138 42 32 4 112 56 12
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 15 out of 128  73  9 12 55 12 18
3-year AVG 23 out of 122 51 29 17 47 17 38

I’d call it an average result for an average day for an average life. It happens, especially in math. And that was a math joke. I believe they call that “rock bottom”. But don’t worry, playoffs are coming up, and those of you remaining have at least one team with a chance to make it there. If so, let’s figure out how to do it…

Here are your Week 9 Rankings!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As the title states (SPOILER ALERT), Rudy Gamble (Stat Guru for Razz) joined me in our latest podcast, and it was a great conversation. Sure, I may be a biased source, but let me introduce you to these totally unbiased people sitting right next to me watching as I type this intro. They have given the thumbs up, and if you can’t trust me, trust them. And if you think I’m making this up, I can unapologetically confirm that I’m probably not. And talking about making things up, I got the opportunity to talk about the 2016 election in a way that won’t piss off anyone (maybe!) by going directly to the numbers. We talk about what it takes to create an aggregate system like the one Nate Silver has made famous at FiveThirtyEight.com, and what we can learn from that system when applying it to fantasy sports. True, we do get lost in the weeds a bit, wondering what it is exactly about Trump that allows for such a… unique and fervored following, but before we get into real trouble of entering an echo chamber, we switch directly into examining Rudy’s tools, and some ways that we can take advantage of projection systems in fantasy football, and furthermore, have a great back and forth on how to go about targeting players who might break out. I wish we didn’t run out of time, but we’ll have Rudy back on soon, so until then, enjoy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Some real good mature Cubs derp right there…

It only makes sense because Ursa Minor is in the World Series, you know, which is still going on. Because Bears-Cubs? Look guys, it’s Halloween and I’m tired and I’m staring at an unopened bag of Twix bars. This was never going to end well. And the same could be said for the Vikings, falling for the dreaded trap game, in prime time no less. A place that the Bears have been located for reasons unknown. And they currently have been in more prime time games than the Chiefs, Raiders, and Falcons, where you’d think the Bears would do what they do best, and that’s suffer in anonymity like the Titans do. So while it was a surprising win, I do understand why they put this game on for Halloween: It was still some horrifying football to watch. I told you, I have a plethora of Twix, the Cubs are in the World Series, Donald Trump is running for President, and the Bears are won a home game at night. We are definitely through the looking glass, and we need to get this over with as soon as possible…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One is an underrated story that fell apart under it’s own depressive weight and the other is the movie 28 Grams. For those who are wondering why Mark Ingram (3 CAR, 5 YDS, 1.7 AVG, 2 LONG, 1 FUM) did his best impersonation of Toby Gerhart, behold:

New Orleans Saints running back Mark Ingram lost a fumble for the second straight week during Sunday’s win over the Seattle Seahawks. …After that, all of the Saints’ handoffs went to Tim Hightower and rookie Daniel Lasco. Ingram was not available for comment in the locker room after the game. “He wasn’t carrying it loose,” Payton said of the fumble against the Seahawks. “They were able to just pull it free. We’ll be back to work with him.” Payton said not fumbling had been a point of emphasis for Ingram after the previous game, which explains the quick decision to go to Hightower.Source.

I just want to add that Tim Hightower fumbled in the same game AND Ingram has five career fumbles. Five. You know, it would really screw up my week if I have to drive all the way out to New Orleans to punch Sean Payton in the d*ck. Anyhow, we’re here to get ready for Halloween by eating a copious amount of Twix bars to talk about Sunday’s games and Fantasy Football, so let’s get started!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Well how about that. Some interesting matchups this Sunday, and it only took to the half point of the season to get there. And you know, sometimes I wonder if I’m a bit hard on the NFL, I actually don’t think I’ve spoken positively about the “presentation” part of the sport for quite some time. But then when you actually think about it, I’m pretty sure I should be even more negative. You have deflateghazi, the whole Josh Brown thing, the continuing and baffling crackdown on anything that may look like an emotion on the field, like trying to shoot a bow with an imaginary arrow or taking a picture with an imaginary camera… All of this, of course, has nothing to do with fantasy football, that is unless you prefer watching math develop on ESPN.com instead of watching, you know, the games… so color me a bit mystified as to why the NFL is trying so hard to gaslight us every weekend. On a lighter note, we do get what will probably be the best Sunday Night Football game of the year. Best game if you measure in derps. The NFC East is always the gift that keeps giving, and the greatest gift ever is when it’s the and Eagles and Cowboys. I think the only possibly way to make this even better is to throw the Giants in there for good measure. Have them play from sideline-to-sideline, because why not? Though, even playing the width of the field at 53 yards, McAdoo would still probably have trouble getting to the redzone…

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 8 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At least, that’s what it looked like on my television. Alright, time to watch some football, let’s check out and see who’s playing… DEAR SWEET LORD, WHAT HAVE WE DONE. In between screaming “MY EYES!” and wondering if we’d finally get to watch the ever elusive halftime head coach firing (though, Gus Bradley continues to be an excellent high school football coach), there was an NFL game somewhere in there… I think? Listen, I very well may touch myself, but nothing I’ve ever done in my life makes me think I deserved that game. And granted, it’s Friday, always a plus, but forgive me if this lede spends more time complaining than analyzing. I mean, if the NFL isn’t going to bother with showing professional teams in prime time, I’m not going to bother giving much analytical thought. Well, except for one: Bortles is probably going to be a top-5 quarterback in fantasy this week. Let THAT sink in for a second…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 7 5 out of 138 58 2 36 30 22 56
Week 6 92 out of 137 101 60 87 63 18 55
Week 5 9 out of 138 42 32 4 112 56 12
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 13 out of 133 72 13 9 59 9 17
3-year AVG 22 out of 123 51 30 16 48 16 37

After a random week of non-performance (that’s what she said), we’ve returned to another strong placement. We’re on pace to finish strongly this year and also beat out the previous two years of results, which has been one of my goals here since day one; and that’s to improve every single year and place Razzball among the top experts in all the universe. Why is this important? Well, the non-selfish answer is: What is man that does not make what is around him better? I learned that from Legolas in some Ridley Scott movie. The selfish answer is pretty obvious; gimmie those sweet hits, baby. Self-serving will get you everywhere in this world (especially during election season!), but I think it’s fair to point out that we pride ourselves on offering quality rankings without a subscription requirement, opposed to about 90% of the rotating “experts” in the top-10 for Fantasy Football Accuracy. And I hope that encourages our readers to maximize their teams and fantasy experience by taking a look at our separate subscription content, all carefully crafted and molded by Rudy Gamble. It’s no secret that projection systems are becoming the rage (and you’ll can find out my own ranking process here), but having all the tools, including the free ones, might make the difference between finishing first and, well, not finishing first…

Here are your Week 8 Rankings… (Rest of Season rankings have been updated and can be found here!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, a lot of people ask me: “Yo-yo Jay, how you do that shihizzay?”. Sure, the verbiage is pretty generalized (if you’re playing Grand Theft Auto), but the resounding point is: readers have shown interest over the years on what exactly my ranking process is. Thinking about it, I’m actually surprised that I haven’t written about this before, and something I might start doing in the preseason to sort of self-diagnose each season. Now, before we get started, I want to mention that if it wasn’t obvious, this process is my own, and I can’t begin to tell you how other “experts” rank the players. We have two other rankers here at Razzball, and that’s Tehol and Rudy. It’s probably fair to say that Tehol’s process is much closer to mine than Rudy’s, but that’s because Rudy actually uses data projection, and dark wizardry, with a scientific and proven methodology. Now, even if I don’t know what that means, the usage of multisyllabic words and the presence of magic should at least convince you that it’s special, which is what I concluded early on when remembering that I actually have no math skills whatsoever and would feel out of place questioning anybody who actually uses it. That being said (and you can see Rudy’s process here), the foundation of how I rank players begins and ends with as many snack breaks and pornHUB interludes as humanly possible. And the middle? Well, let me tell ya…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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