No, I’m not talking about the Marky Mark Patriotic porno that’s out in theatres right now, just in case you needed to watch a fantasy tailored specifically for Michael Bay (just without all the boobs), moreso the fact that Matt and I always find ourselves surrounded by Zach and Jen, the pro-Patriots of Razzland. And I mention that since we all went over our playoff picks, the scenarios, the “master plan”, and they all seem to involve Tom Brady, and thusly, they all involve Uggs. We also talk about Doug Martin’s Adderall problem, Cowboy boots (actual boots, not the Dallas Cowboys), and this time, Matt brings up politics, so I just happened to provide a few more thoughts on what we’re about to get via leadership in this New Year, and it was all guilt-free! (Please send all complaints, care of Matt Bowe.) Westworld came up for a bit (spoilers!), and there was some talk of Tyrod Taylor and the futility of Week 17 Championship weeks hidden in there. We also had the best goodbye ever, in that it was a functioning one. Baby steps folks…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’d call it the “Happy Holidays Live Thread”, but we’d all just be lying to ourselves. Yes, there’ll be plenty of food, and presents, and in-laws this weekend (as if Thanksgiving with baby boomers wasn’t exciting enough this year!), but let’s be clear… it’s not happy unless those of you still playing Fantasy Football bring home that Championship whatever. Could be a trophy. A certificate. A baked ham, who knows? Now, the real question is, did I bring up the ham because it actually exists as a prize for a league out there, or because I’m just hungry for ham? Why not both! Regardless, enjoy this year’s Festivus, I’m sure there are a lot of grievances to be aired, but let’s make sure none of them are about your Fantasy Football team by the end of the weekend. Good luck, and be jolly! (I’m not entirely sure why I went with jolly there…)

Your Week 16 Rankings have been updated and can be found after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 15 31 out of 131 49 14 86 73 11 16
Week 14 58 out of 131 97 51 40 96 45 8
Week 13 105 out of 131 109 12 127 77 30 2
Week 12 52 out of 130 60 44 28 119 43 8
Week 11 35 out of 133 81 24 59 33 19 77
Week 10 59 out of 133 46 40 102 104 15 40
Week 9 2 out of 133 2 20 76 14 33 18
Week 8 46 out of 134 76 13 90 65 73 33
Week 7 5 out of 138 58 2 36 30 22 56
Week 6 92 out of 137 101 60 87 63 18 55
Week 5 9 out of 138 42 32 4 112 56 12
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 12 out of 141 43 4 27 63 14 5
3-year AVG 22 out of 122 41 27 22 50 18 33
Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s just the place where you stop the story…

Unless you’re Gus Bradley that is. With Jacksonville’s long nightmare coming to an end (with a potentially new nightmare on the horizon, because, well, it’s Jacksonville, and Jeff Fisher is still out there), it seems proper to announce that this is our official end to the 2016 Razzball Football season, content-wise. As I’m sure all of you know, we run a smaller ship than the other sites in the Razzball Network, but to combat that, we use 100% more nautical terms. I realize that the actual NFL Season hasn’t ended yet, but with two weeks left to go, your Fantasy Season should be coming to a close. (YMMV.) We’ll still release rankings the next two weeks and during the playoffs, and we’ll have a few more podcasts this year, and I’ll still be here answering all of your questions… (I’ll always be here, maaaan), but as the readership dwindles and Christmas approaches, I just wanted to take the time to again thank my contributors and you, the Razzball community for making this season another great one.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s not much to say besides the fact that all of us who are still around are in a must-win state. We’ve had a great year trying to help you make those oh so important roster decisions (at least according to the metrics out there), so I hope to continue the trend as your fantasy football championship gets closer and closer.

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 15 by clicking here. And as always, my updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 14 58 out of 141 97 51 40 96 45 8
Week 13 105 out of 131 109 12 127 77 30 2
Week 12 52 out of 130 60 44 28 119 43 8
Week 11 35 out of 133 81 24 59 33 19 77
Week 10 59 out of 133 46 40 102 104 15 40
Week 9 2 out of 133 2 20 76 14 33 18
Week 8 46 out of 134 76 13 90 65 73 33
Week 7 5 out of 138 58 2 36 30 22 56
Week 6 92 out of 137 101 60 87 63 18 55
Week 5 9 out of 138 42 32 4 112 56 12
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 12 out of 141 50 6 20 61 15 5
3-year AVG 22 out of 122 44 28 20 49 18 33
Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Alexa, what’s the weather like in Buffalo?” “Look outside moron.”

The great leader has spoken and global warming has been confirmed a hoax. I mean, with this much cold weather, how can the Earth be warming? It’s like, if the ice is melting, just get out the bourbon and more ice and enjoy the free air conditioning, maaaan. And if it is snow (prove it!), that’s fine too. I mean, if we can’t have the Game of Thrones premier until next summer, then lets bring it right to Buffalo, am I right? It just makes so much sense, kinda like how Ian Eagle should do play-by-play for porn. But if it isn’t snow (believe it!), we must accept that it’s either massive amounts of cocaine (settle down Michael Irvin, settle down) or the salt of dried tears from all the Julio Jones and Melvin Gordon owners out there. It’s okay, it’s totally normal to end your Fantasy Season like this. I read that on Facebook, the bastion of legitimate news, so I know it’s true. But don’t worry, if you’re looking for a distraction in a post-fantasy football world, or you need something to do the next four years, keep in mind that anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re into the second week of the Fantasy Football playoffs (at least, for most of you) and there’s really not much else to say. Last week was essentially our last week of regular season content, and things will get just a bit tad lonelier around these parts. Much like my parts! But that’s okay! At this point, rankings are about the only important aspect that we all need to focus on. And everyone has their own way of interpreting rankings… It’s pretty much a straight-forward exercise there could be in game; a numerical ranking of players that are completely without context, in a vacuum if you’ve seen the term. So remember to add that context yourself. The rankings are there to help guide your starts and sits, but it doesn’t take into account your opponent. Nor does it consider the ceiling or floor of your players, simply the median. So do keep those things in mind, and in addition, I want to add that this is the main reason why each and every Razzball contributor is happy to answer any and all questions from you guys, at any point in the season. To give that “context”. So I guess what I’m saying is… can I context you bro?

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 14 by clicking here. And as always, my updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On this week’s episode, we have everything. Existential crisis. Crisisee? Crisises? Zach (or!) Matt create their own hazmat suit and makes sure the sounds are loud enough for the world to hear throughout the entire show. Zach does an amazing Tehol impersonation. We had a Jim Rome AND PFT Commenter name drop and this time, we only spend 25 minutes trying to end the show. In fact, I added a bonus “behind the scenes” listen of how even when we do end the show, the show just. Doesn’t. End. Ever. However, even with all of this, we find time to talk about Allen Robinson, Doug Martin, Julio Jones, Jordan Reed, other Fantasy Football playoff news… and how in the world Jeff Fisher received an extension. Spoiler Alert: We couldn’t figure it out. Enjoy the show! Now, with more bonus goodbye time where we don’t say goodbye!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 13 105 out of 131 109 12 127 77 30 2
Week 12 52 out of 130 60 44 28 119 43 8
Week 11 35 out of 133 81 24 59 33 19 77
Week 10 59 out of 133 46 40 102 104 15 40
Week 9 2 out of 133 2 20 76 14 33 18
Week 8 46 out of 134 76 13 90 65 73 33
Week 7 5 out of 138 58 2 36 30 22 56
Week 6 92 out of 137 101 60 87 63 18 55
Week 5 9 out of 138 42 32 4 112 56 12
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 11 out of 141 44 5 18 56 13 7
3-year AVG 21 out of 122 42 28 19 47 18 34

So, instead of ignoring the obvious, I’ll go ahead and embrace it. These were pretty bad results in Week 13, I mean, we’re talking ESPN territory. It also kicked Razzball just outside the top-10 to 11th best accuracy for the year… still an amazing result when you look at the big picture, and would still be a big improvement from previous years. Regardless, last week and the next couple are when we need to do our best jobs for those of you remaining in the hunt, so I’ll be working extra hard to make sure our performance gets the results all of you need. Sounds like a perfect job for Viagra…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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