Before we get started, don’t forget to cover your doors with lamb’s blood. The groundhog saw his shadow, which means the polar vortex is here to eat all of your first-born. Or something like that. So, where to begin? I heard there was a football game on last night… pray tell.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, this is it, the day we’ve all been waiting for. And yes, the Fantasy Football season has long since ended, and there are no more points to be had, no more injuries to deal with, no more lineups to set. Most importantly, we are that much more removed from having anything to do with C.J. Spiller. And, well, if you are still playing Fantasy Football, congratulations, you are the most inventive person I know. OR, you are suffering from schizophrenia. Regardless, you might be wondering what’s going on here. Why is there a post here on a Sunday? And that, my friends, is a very fantastic question.
We’ll be starting a new trend where I will throw-up (#ChuckStrong) a post on game day, that will serve as a sorta ‘base-of-operations’ for the morning and afternoon slate of games, including Sunday Night Football. And, as a bonus, I’ll be hanging out with all you fine folks in the comment section. Why? Why not? We’re here to talk football, and more specifically, fantasy football, amiright? I AM RIGHT. So this will be one of the new toys for the upcoming 2014 season, and we’re going to call it ‘Sunday Razznic’. Because Razzball is awesome. And Picnic’s are awesome. Because sammiches. And not to worry! There will be Monday Razznic’s and Thursday Razznic’s, to fill all of your Fantasy Football needs. So let’s start this picnic off the best way we can, and that’s with this year’s Super Bowl. Or Superb Owl, as some have called it. Or, you know, Su Perbo Wl, which no one, has in fact, called it. Yet…Please, blog, may I have some more?
A different kind of dirty Sanchez…
Folks, we are beginning something special here.
Not that we didn’t already have something special. If you know Sky, you know he is special. We are just going to be doing a different kind of special. If you didn’t read Sky’s transitional piece, which was something akin to a 1500-character love poem to me, well, check it out. SPOILER ALERT! It’s not a love poem. It’s an apology for ranking Doug Martin numero uno for the 2013 season. Haha, just kidding. It’s not that either. And don’t ever let anyone tell you that’s the reason that I’m here and not Sky. Because that’s totally not the reason. Maybe. The truth is, life happens. If the infamous #buttfumble didn’t show us that, nothing ever will. Theme tie-in alert!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football. Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me it’s time to watch Josh Freeman again already? Oh wait, he’s out with a concussion. Nice. So instead we get… Christian Ponder? Sigh.
the drinking game I played
Take a sip of PBR in a wine glass…
…whenever Mike McCarthy called a totally worthless run play.
…every time Christian Ponder completely whiffed on an open man.
…whenever Christian Ponder looked totally confused about life.
…every time Cris Collinsworth gushed over BJ Raji.
Chug a wine glass full of PBR…
…every time Mason Crosby shanked a kick.
…whenever I felt like it, because Christian Ponder, bro.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football. I’d like to thank Sky for covering my slot last week, as, if you didn’t hear, was because my birthday weekend finally arrived after a year-long wait. Sky seemed to understand that a three-day alcohol binge was not the best precursor to write a Sunday Night Football recap… Naw, I’m just messing with you, he didn’t mention that at all. He was actually wondering why that weekend would be any different then my normal routine. Well played sir, well played. The difference? More crying. Goodbye age-30, my self-labeled peak. Hello early 30’s. So, football… hey, wait a second… are you kidding me? Peyton Manning returned to Indy last night? No one told me! Way to downplay a narrative sports media! Let us go over this premier horse game. Hey, John Elway, why the long face? HAR HAR.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football. Wait, what’s this? There’s another Football game after SNF to cover? At 11:30 PM EST? And it’s called Thursday Night Football? I don’t even… what? Well, despite watching football until three-in-the-morn, there was a wonderful aspect at work here. Actually, there was two. The first, we are doing a double-post special today to cover both SNF and TNF. Two-for-one is always a great deal. Especially on Pornhub. Secondly, there is ample opportunity for a lot of drinking. Like, six-straight hours worth, at epic binge-worthy proportions mind you, as watching my Chargers always requires sacrifices to whichever God’s love alcoholism. But don’t worry, Sunday usually involves a Trader Joe’s visit, and thusly, the copious purchase of cheap red’s. So, to ensure survival, in a kinda-sorta way, I decided to go with a wine/vodka combo for my viewing experience. Trust me, it tastes better than it reads. And even if it doesn’t, you’re way to blasted to care at the midway point.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football. Even with the Falcons, the first real test for the Patriots (after coasting to wins over the Bills, Jets, and Bucs) perhaps providing an allure of an interesting match-up, I doubt it was enough to prevent all of America ditching NBC for the Breaking Bad finale. My only wish is that I could have done the same thing. Don’t ever say I never did nothing for you.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football. It’s been a few weeks, since I already skipped one post assignment… (Which I probably shouldn’t have, since the football gods gave me this ridiculous match-up to cover instead of the NFC West showdown last week. Which actually wasn’t much of a showdown when you think about it, so I guess there’s that.) So yeah, Chicago and Pittsburgh… Ugh. Can I just write about Breaking Bad instead Sky? Please? Sigh… So, how did I make a game like this watchable? That’s right folks, the answer lies in a newly created section for this series. (To go along with my score and a quick summary of the game, DRUNKEN BULLET POINTS, world famous Razzball player blurb thing-a-ma-jigs, and a wonderful concluding thought.) And what’s that new section? Follow me after the jump and find out…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football, which is tacitly accepted as the premiere time-slot. This series of 17 (likely) posts will be much like last year. Except we’re going to do a little format change, cause that’s how I roll. First section will be the score and a quick summary of the game. Quick, just the way your mother likes it. The second section will be my DRUNKEN BULLET POINTS. All caps, why? BECAUSE THAT’S WHY. Which totally answers your question. And then next, the world famous Razzball player blurb thing-a-ma-jigs. And then a wonderful concluding thought. Because I know you care of such things. So let’s see how this goes with an already indiscriminate amount of bourbon in my system.Please, blog, may I have some more?