Author: Jay

Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell. You can follow him on Twitter @jaywrong.

Read some of Jay's 685 posts

2014 Fantasy Football Rankings: Tight Ends

by: Jay

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

Now we’re getting to the meat and potatoes of the fantasy rankings, perfect for the protein-starch diet which has netted me zero results. While last week’s ranking extravaganza with an opening salvo of kickers and defense was such a memorable experience, in that, it wasn’t, this week, we start getting serious. But not too serious, because we are talking about tight ends, more specifically, our tight ends, which probably needs less pants. Why? Because everything needs less pants. Think about it.

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2014 Fantasy Football Rankings: Defense and Special Teams

by: Jay

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

When planning the rankings release schedule, getting rid of the Kickers and DST rankings as fast as possible was a priority for me. They are just soooo the opposite of what you really need to care about, that even implementing a strategy seems like a waste. Trust me, that time and energy is better spent elsewhere. Like Redtube. Or volunteering at your local shelter. Both scholarly pursuits in my honest opinion. Regardless, DEF is still a category, and leaving it off the rankings would seem like a missing tooth. Pittsburgh knows what’s up.

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2014 Fantasy Football Rankings: Kickers

June 10, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 Fantasy Football Rankings | 5 Comments

by: Jay

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (PPR) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR)| WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST | IDP Rankings: Top-100 | DL | DB | LB

A lot of people come to me and ask “How should I go about drafting a kicker?”. And I respond, “Really bro, that’s what you want to talk about?” Actually, not really. None of that ever happens, and there’s a good reason for that. First, I’m always in my mom’s basement, so no one really comes up to me to ask about anything. Secondly, no one actually cares about kickers. Okay, okay, there are *some* people who draft kickers for one reason or another, but all those reasons are wrong. The Razzball approved strategy here is: Don’t be that guy you know. Which I guess is the opposite of Velveeta’s new slogan. We aim high here folks. Look, they are what they are, and that’s a low-tier position on the totem pole of fantasy football. And that’s no joke, because the totem pole exists. Somewhere in New Mexico, with the face of Roger Goodell and Cobra Commander. Hail HYDRA!, amiright? Anyhow, let’s go over a few things about this position (that’s what she said), and then rank-o-rama starts. Prepare your alcoholic beverages…

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The 2014 Razzball Rankings Are Coming

June 9, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 Fantasy Football Rankings | 9 Comments

by: Jay

We all know winter is coming. What this post presupposes is, what if we aren’t Game of Thrones? And so, as has been stated in the title, the time to release rankings for the 2014 Fantasy Football season is among us. Here’s how it’ll all play out:

June 10th – Kickers

June 12th – Defense and Special Teams

June 17th – Tight Ends

June 19th – Tight Ends (PPR)

June 24th – Wide Receivers

June 26th – Wide Receivers (PPR)

July 1st – Running Backs

July 3rd – Running Backs (PPR)

July 8th – Quarterbacks

July 10th – Top-200

July 15th – Top-200 (Half-PPR)

July 17th – Top-200 (PPR)

*Updated 6/14

And don’t worry, we’ll still be covering league news, IDP rankings, and Draft Strategy in or around those dates above. (Also, projections sometime in July) Basically, we’re making a Draft Kit, which I guess I could have just told you earlier and saved all this typing, but them’s the way it goes sometimes. But not really, because I have no idea what I’m saying at this point. The more important question is, do I ever? No. Not really.

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The Factory of Sadness Has Manufactured a New Low

May 12, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 NFL Draft, Fantasy Football Daily Notes |

by: Jay

Yes, the draft happened during the weekend, and you can check out my round one thoughts here. I think it still has a few years left, if I’m counting in Roger Goodell units. But as you all know, the deeper the draft goes, the less fantasy-relevant it gets. (Don’t worry though, we’ll cover the draft more this week.) And while that probably isn’t why Josh Gordon decided to net himself a possible season-long suspension for smoking some green to grab back the fantasy headlines, what this lede presupposes is, maybe it is?

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Who’s This Johnny Manziel Everyone Keeps Talking About?

May 9, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 NFL Draft, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 6 Comments

by: Jay

So, if you missed it, Round One of the NFL Draft happened. I was around for the most part, but 39 hours for 30 picks seems egregious, even for NFL standards. You have no idea how long I spent trying to select the auto-draft option. As with any NFL draft, there were plenty of derpy moves, surprisingly competent selections, and then there was the Browns being the Browns and the Jaguars being the Jaguars, which are always unique categories in themselves. Some teams just have a destiny.

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New York, Stock Up On Canned Goods, CJ2K Is Approaching

April 17, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 2 Comments

by: Jay

Well, who woulda thought, something in the NFL of consequence has actually happened. It’s been days. DAYS! I mean, there was Antonio Cromartie’s birthday bash in Vegas with his wife and pals. By pals, I’m assuming they are referring to his bakers dozen amount of kids. The party had quite the twist too (because Vegas: where twists are legal and cost five dollars), with Cromartie receiving lap-dances from “little people” dressed up as Rihanna and Kayne. Daw, never change Antonio Cromartie. Never change. Not be outdone, Bill Belichick’s birthday also came and went. It should be noted that his party consisted of a whole lot of this. Please note, Belichick’s birthday suit is like everybody else’s, just with more hoodie. And then there was also RG3 releasing a new logo, which is, well, bold I guess. Seeing as how the Starks in Game of Thrones have a logo, and they totally suck at that game. And, of course, the Nazi’s had a logo too. So good luck with that. Anyhow, since none of these things had anything to do with fantasy football, we were left waiting, then finally, yesterday happened… and that was Chris Johnson signing a two year deal with the New York Jets. Don’t everyone jump for joy all at once…

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DeSean Jackson Moving To DC, Can Still Witness Plenty of Murders

April 3, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 10 Comments

by: Jay

Welp, that was quick. After spending an entire week as a free agent (and being called an alleged gang-member, or I guess “having” affiliations with gangs, or maybe he’s just really bad at sign-language and a lover of blue tees), DeSean Jackson has been signed by the Washington Football Team. From an NFL perspective, Washington now has four wide recievers roughly the same height, and three of them that can spread the field faster than Dan Snyder can sign 35-year-olds to egregious contacts. In fact, I’m pretty sure Jackson had to lie about his age to get signed. And from a fantasy perspective, this signing certainly changes some things…

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Apparently, Being a Crip in Philly Raised Some Blue Flags

March 31, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 7 Comments

by: Jay

After spending some time trying to trade DeSean Jackson, the Eagles released him last Friday. A statement followed that the Eagles were concerned with “Jackson’s continued association with reputed Los Angeles street gang members…”. Because I guess the last seven seasons wasn’t enough time to know what they had. During that span, Jackson’s tenure was both equally sweet and sour. (And you don’t know the sweet unless you’ve tasted the sour. Something-something wax poetic.) There were questions about his work ethic, wanting a new contract after just receiving one, multiple reports of being a clubhouse distraction, and some really horrendous drops. But he also had a collection of highlight catches and some epic games, including his punt return touchdown to beat the Giants back in 2010. He was also coming off a career-best season with 82 catches for 1,332 yards and nine touchdowns. But it’s clear Chip Kelly wants his guys, and Jackson wasn’t one of them. Riley Cooper is. Which seems like a double-standard, since he’s the Grand Wizard of his gang…

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Buttfumble Gets Jetted For Vick

March 24, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 3 Comments

by: Jay

New Jersey was ready to wish Mark Sanchez all the best, but then suddenly remembered all the pain and humiliation that he inflicted with such Billboard hits like ‘throwing into triple coverage’ and ‘fumbling’. Though, looking through an objective lens, he did some good things. Sure, they were few and far between, but going to the Championship game in his first two years and beating the Patriots more than he should have were definite highlights. Oh, and then there’s this:

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Smith A Raven, Tate Enters Factory of Sadness

March 17, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 7 Comments

by: Jay

Interestingly enough, Ben Tate going to the Cleveland Browns might end up improving his fantasy prospects (or a strange attempt to prevent more rib-breakage), while Steve Smith signing with the Baltimore Ravens might end up doing the opposite. Yet another example of why a fantasy game with fake teams based upon real players based upon a real game isn’t always rational in the scope of things. (Just like that sentence.)

You see, under the scope of ‘real’ football, these moves mean the exact opposite. Steve Smith goes to a team that should be in or around the play-off picture, a somewhat competent (based on NFL standards) coaching staff, and a team that has some interesting weapons. Just make sure to hide if you’re a fiancée. On the other hand, Ben Tate has basically gone to the football equivalent of Siberia. But with Skyline Chili. So much worse. However, add some fantasy context, and the sky is no longer blue, roses are no longer red, and Skyline Chili does not exist. Totally worth it…

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New Orleans Trades Darren Sproles For A Compton Curse

March 13, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 6 Comments

by: Jay

Well, here we go. What? You didn’t get enough Jackie Battle news this past week? What about Tony Fiammetta? Breaking! I just signed Terrell Owens, and all it cost me was a Subway Tuna sandwich. Yeah, I know I overpaid. But, to be fair, there wasn’t any mayo, so I had that going. But enough about me, let’s take a look at some of the key news that’s happened so far during free agency week, all through the fantasy football scope. That scope is real by the way. I’m serious. It has chrome plating and comes with a bottle-opener.

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