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2013 RCL FootballWhen the next meeting of the designers of those inspiration posters goes down, one of them will be forced to suggest a picture of my Writer’s League team when the word “Perfection” comes up.  Perfection is a tricky thing.  On one hand, I’m expected to win every week now, and on the other, screw it I’m 7-0 baby!  I don’t think I’ve ever had a 7-0 team in any competitive leagues in over 10 years of playing fantasy football, it’s a tough feat to accomplish.  The perfect record puts me in a class with only 4 other RCL teams which you can check out atop the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.

RCL Top ScorerTOP SCORER: If you missed this week’s Pod, then you missed that Release the KRAKEN! from the Take On Jaywrong 2 league was the top scoring team through Sunday this week, and it held up through MNF to officially lead the RCL in scoring.  Kraken released!  With big weeks from VJax, Forte and Jacquizz, it was the big game from Jordan Reed as Kraken’s bye-week fill-in for Jimmy Graham that put him over the top with 195.56 points.  I’m pretty sure this was the first week no RCL team topped 200, but that diminishes nothing Kraken!  He moves to 6-1 and atop JayWrong’s second league and gets a very tough matchup against Fish’s Official Team in week 8 to try and keep the #1 spot.  Congrats again Kraken and keep Jay being Wrong!

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Week 7 is (mostly) in the books, and despite the worst MNF game ever, it was a huge week capped off with the Battle of 1812 (yeah, that one took me a split second…).  JayWrong goes over that game and everything AFC (including yet another Chargers win), then I go over the NFC notes including a Panthers win and a rant about how the St. Louis Rams carried themselves.  But I do wish the best to Sam Bradford… Fluke injury.  Murph then calls in reporting on that and all the other injuries from Sunday, and lists himself in the report after suffering a loss to my 7-0 Writer’s Team!  Or so I assume, Muprh!  Drink more of that moonshine I sent ya that kept ya out last week!  Erases memories… Good luck to everyone in week 8!

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Ugh.  My bench calls last week, in a way to sum them up, is like the Vikings this season.  AP has to go through an unimaginable tragedy, then there’s rumors of him being traded, then they bring in a scrapheap of a QB in Josh Freeman who is going to start.  On a lighter note, ESPN wants the head of whomever scheduled the Monday Night Football games this year.  Wait – that’s lighter?  Ummm, yea if Joe Pesci is the head-deliverer!

I hated going into LSD this week.  Haha, a sentence I never thought I’d say… But yeah, it was a brutal week, and despite utterly clobbering the other Razzball Writers and being one of the handful of teams undefeated in RCLs, I just can’t quite seem to hit my stride in Last Second Decisions so far this year.  But what is hitting its stride is RCL Basketball, and we’re gearing up for the best and biggest season we’ve ever had over there on hoops.  If you need your fantasy get-me-over when NFL is over and until Baseball and daily Grey-dates (what I call Grey updates, but now realize that sounds like a Cougar dating site term), hoops is you perfect go-to through the second half of Winter to early Spring.

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If you missed the Razzball Podcast this week (and let’s be honest, why aren’t you listening!?), then the title might look a little awkward, but after a 24-hour binge of syrup consumption in various methods, Nick and I exclaimed we’re going to be facing off in a DraftKings contest this weekend.  We’re pitting against each other for ultimate Monday morning bragging rights on next week’s Pod.  So we’re going to pick a contest, I’ll tweet out which one it is, tweet out the link and include in the comments for everyone to join and play with us as we battle for Pod pride.  Then you can topple us both and battle for Comments pride.  Why DraftKings is great – instant bragging rights!

If you still haven’t tried out DraftKings, it’s a daily fantasy site (well weekly for NFL) and a ton of fun, you can play for as little as a quarter (yes, 25 cents not 25 grand Scarface!) with huge prizes even in the $0.25 and $1.00 Contests.  They’ve also got all sorts of qualifiers to get into their Millionaire Grand Finale, which runs in week 17 (and let’s be honest, most fantasy leagues will be done so it’ll be the biggest fantasy event for everyone in it) and pays out a cool, slick, boatload, something like that, million bucks.  Just for winning one week of football!  Can’t beat that.  So hop over and check it out today!

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Razzball Nation!  In a very special Tuesday recording time, we give thanks to Canada for giving us beavers, syrup, a change to the podcast schedule, and Nick.  This week we discuss how Nick’s Writer’s League team at 0-6 is the yin to my 6-0’s yang, address naming conventions in Newfoundland, and then throw in some NFC notes.  JayWrong then calls in with his AFC notes hungover from the huge Chargers win last night, then Murph updates us on injuries and Sky let’s us know the waiver wire adds you need to consider.  Good luck to everyone in week 7!

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2013 RCL FootballAnother big week of RCL action wrapped up in week 6, and again I get to go nuts for my 6-0 Writer’s League team!  Sorry JayWrong, but this week went just like your R.A. Dickey defense when I told Nick to sell, sell, sell.  Jay had like, a million Chargers going, and similar to his optimism for Dickey’s second half, he had to watch his hopes and dreams prove JayWrong’s name sake.  Hey, at least the Chargers and Panthers won this week!  Beers all around!  Be sure to check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.

RCL Top ScorerTOP SCORER: Congratulations to team Poon Jab from the Razzball Rebels league, who topped the 200-point plus benchmark and the only team to score over 200 this week.  Poon got to 200.34 led by Larry Fitzgerald, Jamaal Charles, Knowshon Moreno, Reggie Bush, and the KC D to vault him (or her, I guess) to a 200-point week and a beat down of It’s like a circle.  Team Jab also moves to 5-1 and leads the Rebels in overall scoring for the most fearless Rebel in the league.  Poon has a great shot to move to 6-1 as they face the 1-5 Blountville Bums, who’s picture of a sad puppy dog I think encapsulates their mood heading into that matchup.  Great work again Poon and keep up the high scoring for your run at the RCL gold!

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Unfortunately I am not Bryan Cranston or Jessie Pinkman (he plays himself, right?) and I am not Breaking Bad.  Well I am in the Razzball Writer’s League!  Wait, by breaking bad I mean doing good.  Kinda the antithesis of my metaphor here.  Scrap that open – I’m too lazy to hold down delete though…

Whilst I break bad in the Razzball Writer’s league, I’m looking at a 4-1 then two 3-2 and two 2-3 teams.  I know you’re yelling at your computer, “I don’t care about JB’s leagues!”  But what I’m trying to get at is that week 6 is right when I want to be sure I’m breaking mediocrity.  If I’m below .500 heading into week 6 it means I’m 2-4 and probably toast.  Or 1-5 or 0-6, and only consuming alcohol.  So in those two 2-3 record leagues, I’m staring down the barrel of some really horrible matchups.  I feel like the Jags this week.

And if you’re looking for one the absolute sweetest blue ice fantasy contests this weekend, DraftKings still has an exclusive double up contest for us at Razzball that has a ton of spots open.  Easiest way to double your money you’ll find all weekend.  Unless of course, you want to risk working for Heisenberg – and by that I mean in ABQ not any of the RCL teams!  (Sky is going to get angry for using Breaking Bad references in my open since that’s his meth, isn’t he?  But I’m the one who knocks!)

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Razzball Nation!  DraftKings is back, and if you haven’t won it big in any of the bigger DraftKings contests with a big field, there’s always tournaments running every Sunday with smaller prize pools and a better chance of winning.  DraftKings has given us a contest this week for Razzballers to double up in a $10 Double Up Contest where only 20 players enter and 10 leave with $20.  They’re obviously not making a profit on this one as it’s a lot like the Razzball exclusive contests we had this past year on Baseball.  So be sure to sign up and talk some smack come Sunday!

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2013 RCL FootballAnother big week of RCL action wrapped up in week 5, with the ranks of the undefeated dwindling down yet again.  Looking at you – me!  Woo – let’s go Writer’s Team! Be sure to check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.

RCL Top ScorerTOP SCORER: Congratulations to team Makka Pakka from the Monday Morning QB’s league, who was the only RCL team to top 200 points this week!  Is Makka Pakka a Simpsons reference based on your team picture?  With a fantasy explosion of goodness from Peyton, Dez, Nicks and Blackmon, it was the Monday Night breakout from Jacquizz that vaulted Makka Pakka into the RCL spotlight with 208.56 points.  Despite the win, Pakka is still in third place with a 3-2 record, as those beloved kitchen stinks still hold onto the top spot even after getting the wrong side of that Pakka outburst.  Great work again Pakka and enjoy your time in the RCL Sun!

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The Razzball Podcast is back!  It’s great to be back in the DraftKings studio after sitting out last week, but hey it was the Panthers bye so I took a bye too.  Although to be fair, the Panthers took another bye this week and I didn’t!  I’m the consummate professional!  Nick I and go over the NFC notes and what it means for your fantasy team, along with a DraftKings look-in and the RCL top scorer through Sunday.  JayWrong then dives into the AFC quick-hitters while Sky gives us the waiver-wire guys to nab.  Murph was going to call in the carnage report, but with that last shot of rum, he had to add himself to the report!  Good luck to everyone tonight if your game is hinging on Monday Night Football (looking at you Julio Jones) and good luck in week 5!

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So I know you’re all wondering – what do these Razzball guys really do with their lives!?  Spoiler!  You already know if you read Basketball.  Oh well…

If you don’t read/play Fantasy Basketball – give it a chance!  Start up an RCL League!  If you haven’t played it much, it’s the perfect blend of Fantasy Football and Baseball.  “Wait – why is JB shamelessly pandering?!  I thought he was gonna tell us about his life fighting crime!”   Whilst I keep the rogue streets of North Cackalacky free from the seedy (pork)underbelly of crime, I have unfortunately shifted my sleep schedule.  I had to buy a blast shield for my windows.  It was like I was in the Peach Trees Mega Block when Judge Dredd came.  Fortunately Michael Caine IS NOT my butler and that scene from Batman Begins didn’t happen where Bale goes – “Bats are nocturnal!”  I woulda just slapped that foo’.  Long, disheveled and borderline lunatic rantings aside (those last couple of sentences could’ve been from a Tehol article… Never go full Tehol!) – my point is I’ll be getting to your LSDs closer to noon than right away.  It also means I’m writing this up on my Palm Pilot while staking out the mean streets of the Triangle on Saturday Night.  So if anything changes dramatically on Sunday Morning, I’ll get to it before kickoff!

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So, you want to be a fantasy #1 stunna?  DraftKings is back with another $2 Qualifier into the Millionaire Grand Final where for only two measly Washingtons you could end up with 10,000 Franklins!  What would you do with a mil?  Well I asked my financial advisors the Big Tymers who recommended I buy  “a new car, and spend about a million with a mother##%$&’ driver seat sittin’ in the middle!”  And I said that didn’t even rhyme!  I don’t get rap sometimes…  But I do understand being fantasy’s #1 stunna, with the biggest payday you’ll ever find in fantasy, unless of course you can con your way into Bill Gates and Warren Buffet’s fantasy league.  “What’s that Bill, you’re owning the league right now with all the Broncos?  I’m gonna make a call real quick and buy the Broncos and bring back Tebow!”  So if you’re looking for that kind of power, hop in a DraftKings contest today and beat the field in the Week 17 Grand Finale!

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