LOGIN

I swear I mentioned this kid prior to tonight. I did a site search. I did a read through of the buy/sell columns. The only thing left was the podcasts and of course the week Brandon Gibson went down, I didn’t get to mention him. Ah well, just as my wife has kindly pointed out on multiple occasions, I can’t be right ever, er, all of the time. Ah well, maybe someone out there who reads me can remind me when I wrote or talked about Rishard Matthews. Well, no matter, it’s hard not to talk about him after his Monday night line. On a night that seemed anti-fantasy football on so many levels – and anti-good football in general – Rishard was the lone bright spot, racking up a nice 11 catch, 120 yard and 2 touchdown game on 14 targets. On a night where Miami totaled 2 rushing yards on the night, Matthews was the lone bright spot, drawing the weakest coverage while others got stranded on Revis island, Rishard was able to perform on a level even I was a bit surprised with. Moving forward, he’s a great WR4 or 5 for depth with use in deeper leagues but I wouldn’t buy heavily if this is the line that sparks my interest. Look more back at what Gibson was doing when Miami was successful and you have your target area. Anything more, you’re in the money. Of course, if the guys who are actually making the big money to catch the ball in MIA stay M.I.A., this might become the norm. No, I’m not gonna quote Black Eyed Peas. I’m mad at myself for even bringing them up with the title in the first place. In other news from Monday Night Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ostentatious. Adjective. Definition: Characterized by vulgar or pretentious display; designed to impress or attract notice. Welp, it sure worked. We saw it all, Tavon Austin, and we’re all impressed. The 98 yard punt return? Flashy. The 81 yard TD catch and run? Swank. The 57 yard bomb? Razzle-Dazzle. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m using synonyms here for that ‘o’ word you can’t pronounce. It’s ok, it’s the internet, you only need to know context, you don’t have to know how to actually say them. Well here’s where I’m supposed to say ‘Tavon has arrived’ or ‘look for Austin to test his city limits’ because we pun like that around here. But I’m not gonna. Not even close. NOPE. Sure, it was an impressive day but here’s what doesn’t impress me: the number 2. No, I’m not talking about the polite way to say you’re taking a crap. I’m talking about his receptions in the game. Sure, he had 138 yards receiving but c’mon this game screams fluky. Further problems with the ‘pick up Tavon’ mantra or ‘Tavontra’ if you will? The number 7. That’s the number of drops he has on the year heading into the weekend. That’s tied for the league lead and of the 4 others he’s up against in that category, he has the smallest amount of targets. Third? Kellen Clemens is still throwing to him. That’s, to say the least, not a positive. Look, I’m not saying this kid can’t be good some day but that day isn’t today. In deep leagues, I can see getting interested but if I own any shares I’m looking to move on from Tavon. In other 2013 Fantasy football news from Sunday of week 10…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It ain’t even Turkey day, y’all, and someone out there is serving up plenty. Sure, there are plenty of other days in the year where you take your third helping of something but we all know Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks for gluttony…right? IDK, I keep getting this whole holiday thing confused by my 5th serving of App-umpkin pie with whip cream mash up. Coaches always told me I should stretch before the game, am I wrong to assume they meant my stomach before the Lions vs the Packers? Ok, ok that’s extreme hyperbole, but at least by the time Oakland vs Dallas hits, my pants shouldn’t fit, right? Of course, I digress/meander/trail away from the point of this post. Robert Griffin, III has been a mystery wrapped within an enigma, shrouded in intrigue and usually has left fantasy owners feeling a bit frustrated this year but I don’t think that was the case tonight. After 281 passing yards on 24/37 passing and three passing TDs to go with 44 yards rushing, I think you RG3 owners can rest easy tonight. It’s been a very up and down year for Washington which can be blamed on a multitude of things. QB who wasn’t ready to start the year? Check. Poor coaching decisions? Check. Doesn’t part one go with part two? Check. Bad defensive play? Checks all around. It’s been a bad year for Washington on multiple levels and RG3’s year has been filled with the feeling of ‘what could’ve been’ for most fans. Here’s to week 10 being the start of something beautiful for both him and fantasy owners. In other news from TNF for week 10 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m scaring myself at this point. I used to take some wild swings at these rankings. Am I getting old and boring like the rest of these fantasy experts? I don’t shave my ear nor nose hair yet. I don’t put it on AM radio yet. Nor do I enjoy reading the newspaper in the morning. Ok *Pinches self* I’m still me and I still like being wild and spontaneous. But my rankings tell me I’m seeing things the way others do. Sure, there’s a few plus 5 or 6 and minus 5 or 6 but none of those wild 10+ swings. I’m gonna need to hit the bars hard tonight, get rejected by some hot chicks and punched out by some young punks to prove I’m still young and alive to myself now…oh well, no different than a typical Thursday I guess. But enough about my counseling session for next week, let’s look at this mess of rankings. Jay Cutler is probably my biggest swing in my rankings this week as clearly I think he’ll return strong if he returns at all. Just to clarify, if McCown is the starter, maybe he moves down to 11th or maybe 12th but last week proved he can play this game so the movement is minimal. Besides that, I find myself believing in MJD more than I probably should this week but can you blame me? Titans D loves to give up rushing yards. They hand them out like dealers hand out free molly pops at raves and his recent weeks have given hope there’s still value in the Oompa Loompa. Conversely, Gore loses some steam in my book with the Panthers in town. Sure it’s a home game but that doesn’t make Carolina pushover. In wide receiver country, Pierre Garcon creeps up to #2 against a Vikings secondary that failed medical school: apply pressure if you wanna stop the bleeding, y’all! Meanwhile in D/ST country, Oakland stays high for me despite the thrashing they took from the Eagles last week. Why you ask? Giants I answer. Wanna know why they call it the Big Apple? Because they’re good for a lot of big TOs. Kickers? Sure, let’s talk about kickers. I called a psychic hotline and they told me the order of which the kickers would go this week but I had to read between the lines. First they told me they were getting a strong George Wendt vibration which clearly stood for the Bears kicker. Then they said they could hear a Volker Bertelmann composition playing which clearly stood for Hauschka. Then they told me they were hearing ‘Cat Scratch Fever’ obviously meant Nugent. I don’t know, I think I nailed it this week. Best first 3 minutes free, each additional minute $1.95 apiece I’ve ever spent of my life. Yeah, I don’t believe it either but still, it’s a better theory to roll with than most. But enough about a position we don’t care about, let’s clear the air. Here’s my rankings for week 10 for the 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The season is at the midway point and as we journey into the second part of our lonely trudge into fantasy fame in some leagues and fantasy infamy in others, it gets harder and harder to get in on someone and call them a buy low. Too much work has been done at this point to point at a player and say ‘that guys underperforming’ or ‘that one’s clearly playing above his head’ or ‘he should’ve had a V8’. We’ve seen too much and know too much to be fooled by a bad game or two…but it never stops us from trying. And in the spirit of that, I’m here to talk to you about Marshawn Lynch. I’ve been ragging on the ‘hawks coaching staff of late and their offensive game plan and I think it’s fairly warranted. This is a team known for its run game, great defense and the heroics of RW3 when they’re needed. Lemme be the first of many to tell you, the heroics of a game generally aren’t needed until the 4th quarter. Heroics usually don’t watch their running back rush for nearly 50 yards on one drive in the first quarter only to turn the ball over on an interception and then go away from the run for another 2 and a half quarters to top it off. What I’m saying is, after 8 carries for 23 yards against a team defense that gave up almost 200 rushing yards to the Titans a week later, Lynch should’ve been feasting on the Bucs but he didn’t really get the chance to. Well I’m here to say I think the OC in Seattle has learned their lesson – ok, I’m hoping they have – and will go back to the style of ball that has put Seattle in the driver’s seat of the NFC West. Lynch is still on track for a good season – Nearly 1,650 total yards and 12 touchdowns is his current pace – but it only takes a couple of weeks without a touchdown for owners to get anxious. So go calm their fears and taste the rainbow while you’re at it. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s amazing how many euphemisms we have in this world for the act of coitus. Some would say too much, others would say not enough but needless to say, urban dictionary is pretty much 80% sexual references so I’ll say there’s plenty to go around either way. And after the night Aaron Rodgers left on his fantasy owners and the receivers by proxy, I’m sure there’ll be more innuendos built to describe the act of getting funked over. Aaron left the game early in the first quarter with a left shoulder injury. Seriously, I’m typing this about 4 hours after the fact and that’s really all that can be shared at this point. Rodgers left the game with the doctor in the 1st and the doctor returned without Rodgers in the 2nd quarter and McCarthy gave a sneer when the news was relayed to him. But again, we have zero news at this point to really say what exactly the problem is. Then Aaron returned to the sidelines late in the 3rd in a jacket with no clear sling involved in the ensemble which further led to the questioning of just how injured he was. Now Rodgers played with a separated non-throwing shoulder in 2008 and didn’t miss a game so we could speculate that’s not the issue. At this point, it’s TBD whether your team is FML or FTW ROS as a Rodgers owner but I’d be making backup plans. Foles available? No? How about Keenum? Grim times, I know. Of all things people count on from their top tier QB, it’s 16 games. Here’s to the innuendo not ending in your end-o, friends. In other news from Monday Night Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In the words of one of the more quotable presidents in recent memory, ‘ya fool me can’t get fooled again’. Read that with a Texans accent and you’ll get a better feel for who we’re going with here. Still no? Eh, ok, I’m not here to give you a recent presidential history lesson so I’m dropping the subject and moving on to the real story. Namely Nick Foles. Yes, the Nick Foles that put up a terrible line against a terrible defensive secondary in the Dallas Cowboys just two weeks ago which started the tailspin conversation of Chip Kelly’s offense ‘not working’ and being overrated. I get the negativity. Coming into today’s game, the Eagles hadn’t scored an offensive touchdown in 10 quarters. Yes, Tampa Bay scored an offensive touchdown or two in that same span. Yes, so did the Jaguars. Heck, a guy who only played on 19 snaps for his own team in week 8 – Marvin Jones – scored 4 touchdowns. What the heck was going on here? Oh NFL and your wily ways. When will we ever understand that this game ebbs and flows and just when it seems a team is the worst in the league that just a few adjustments could turn it around? Foles had a terrible day in Dallas, make no mistake. But then he got concussed and Vick stepped in for week 8 and it was clear he wasn’t healthy enough to be playing and in stepped 3rd stringer Matt Barkley. Well, I don’t know about you but it’s not very often I expect my third string QB to step in and lead a scoring drive. I am bringing all of this up to say don’t be worried about being Fole’d again. The kid and this offense can function at a high level. No, his channeling of the ghost of Peyton Manning – he’s dead to those who have him on bye this week – isn’t going to happen week in and week out. But I am saying the kid is good and can be good and will be good as he threw TD passes to 4 different receivers and finished 23/29 for 409 yards on the dot, 7 TDs and zero INT. Two QB leagues…well, he should already be owned. But if I have some iffy QB like Matt Ryan at this point, I’d jump at the chance at upside here and go with Nick. If you don’t put a waiver or some monies down on him this week, well…you don’t get Foles again. NO NO! In other news from the fine Sunday that was week 9 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have a 17 week season to cover and by comparison to baseball, it’s usually pretty easy to come up with a title that I both feel comfortable with and feel hasn’t been abused to death at the point in which I post it. But that’s mainly because I rarely have to write about the same person twice as the lede within a given season. Well, tonight made that kinda hard to avoid. Welcome back to center stage, Giovani Bernard, and thank you from the multiple teams I own you on for your night. After giving you the nickname ‘GOB’ from Arrested Development, I realized this understood his ‘Illusionist’ nickname so I have decided not to rest on these known tropes. Instead, I’ll forge down the Duran Duran path because…yeah, no good reason. it’s a blog about fantasy sports and I’m not on the cover of Yahoo Fantasy so I do what I want to do, when I want to do it and whatever time I so choose. I’m a diva like that. But to be fair, I need to point you to this run: RIGHT HERE. That was some straight up Barry Houdini Sanders chit, y’all! Which brings me back to my nickname: The Illusionist. After GOB Bluth. Don’t fight it, it’s there. Let it roll of your tongue onto twitter with a #Razzball after it it and get the ball rolling! But in all seriousness, this is the guy many suggested you draft and this is why you drafted him: 104 total yards with 4 receptions and 2 TDs on a night that could’ve been deemed near to Fantasy Football worthless outside of defenses, Gio-B delivered and any team that doesn’t own him right now is just jelly. Moving forward, I’d normally be concerned with a ‘rookie wall’ but I don’t feel he deals with enough carries to make that a concern. The rib injury? Eh, maybe a small concern but it sounds like he avoided any major issues on that front. Moving forward, you still have yourself a cheap RB2 in both standard and PPR formats in my book. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When Reggie Wayne went down for the remainder of the year, the first thing I heard about was DHB stepping up. Stepping up to do what? Drop the ball more? And it’s here where I said ‘Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears’. And when I realized no one was listening I said this whole DHB love was absurd and that the one you want would be TY Hilton. You think I’d lie to you? I have Hilton as a top 10 WR this week and plan to have him as one for many weeks to come. So of course, DHB will use this bye week to realize trying to catch the ball with the back of his hands is pointless and goes off. Because life’s like that. In other news, I have James Jones high simply because I think he’ll be ready to go. If he’s not? You see where Boykin is? Well delete Jones and move Boykin up there. It’s that simple. In other news, J-Stew is expected back in Carolina. As if Tolbert wasn’t F’ing things up for everyone who owned DeAngelo, we now have Williams not practicing and a third pair of hands to muck around with things. Oh well, we drafted a flex we knew that’s what we’d get…we just wanted so much more…In other news, I don’t get the Russell Wilson ranking love. Sure, he’s the 11th best according to ESPN fantasy scoring but ahead of guys like RG3 who’ve had their bye. Plus it’s at home and you know Marshawn is angry after his last showing. I expect full BeastMode and at least 15 middle fingers and you should too. Foles & McCown? Surprise! Think gameflow and general skillset will make them top 12 options this week. Shonn Greene should be an interesting flex play for teams that are in need as the news from the Titans is he should get 15 touches if he’s healthy enough to go. Worried about CJ?K? Don’t be. Those are the carries up the middle that he was giving you 1.2 YPC on. No, that’s not an actual stat, just a guesstimate. He’s been terrible between the tackles this year anyways, I’m hoping we see him more in the passing game with this game plan laid out. Your DST this week? Pick a flavor. Lot of good defenses with reasonable matchups out there. Definitely streaming season. But enough, we prattle on too long. Let’s get to the week 9 rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Normally I start these buy/sells off with a buy. I like to get you excited about getting ‘that one guy’ for cheap like I hope I did with Alfred Morris last week. Then I slowly ease you into what may be a call that you disapprove of or just don’t wanna hear. But this whole partially torn plantar fascia business is too big to ignore in my book and so I’m here to tell you to push the sell button on Jimmy Graham. The reason I say sell now can be summed up with a number: 18. That’s the amount of snaps Graham was in to play on on Sunday. Want more numbers to back up my stance? Cool, how about three. That’s the amount of targets he got in the game. Brees threw the ball 34 times in week 8. So Graham was a product of only 8.8% of Brees’ work on Sunday but no one cares because touchdowns. Specifically two of them. That saves a 3/37 day every time. Throw on the fact this game was after a bye week, do you want to hang your hat on that kind of production week in and week out? Our beloved Tehol mentioned a TE a couple of years ago who struggled through a similar injury. His name? Antonio Gates. Though statistically it wasn’t a bad year for Gates in 2010, he ended up only playing 10 games and bowed out during the time his owners needed him most: the playoffs. Now I’m not telling you the situation is exactly the same but do you really want to count on Graham to play through it and perform at the level you’re used to? Do you want to count on the Saints not sitting him at the end of the year if they have their division wrapped up to make sure he’s good to go for the playoffs? Basically, as a Graham owner you got a Joseph Fauria-type week and it masked a lot of things to be fearful of. He’s still a top 10 to 15 player so I’m saying you get out while the value is still there. I’d look to do a 2-2 trade where you take the ‘lesser’ TE and upgrade at another position in this scenario unless you have Reed or a player like him just waiting to take over for him on your team. Either way, I’d be getting out while the gettin’s good. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now I wish to start this post off by saying I’m a Seahawks fan. I’m not a loud-mouthed one nor am I looking at this game as any form of victory. The Rams whooped their butts and if they had any type of QB at the helm to run this offense more efficiently, Seattle would’ve/could’ve/should’ve lost this one. It was terrible on multiple facets but I’m gonna admit I came away impressed with a player from Saint Louis tonight. His name is Zac Stacy and he done good. Against one of the better defenses in the league, Stacy touted the rock 26 times for 134 yards. Not only was the volume night to see but averaging 5.2 ypc against a defense that was typically only giving up 3.7 and had only given up 641 total on the year, which is good enough for 6th best in the league? Flex those pecs son, you owned this game. Now I’m gonna throw a comparison out there but keep in mind I’m horrible at these. At least my wife thinks so. I told her she looked like Anna Gunn from Breaking Bad. Seriously, I know she’s an annoying character but look past that, honey! The hair, the eyes, the smile. Sorry, it’s all there. Yes, I’ll sleep on the couch tonight…but where was I? Oh yeah, the comp. Now I’m not saying he is exactly this but I saw a bit of Ray Rice in how he ran the ball tonight. Big body between the tackles that can turn a 2 to 3 yard carry into a 5 to 6 yard one with a few wiggles and you barely see him do it. Keep in mind I’m talking strictly about how he runs. Not what he’ll do rest of season nor his future prospects but I will say I was thoroughly impressed. Here’s to hoping that ankle sprain at the end of the game is very minor. I’d love to see if Zac is an RB maniac. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Truth be told, this lede was supposed to go to Megatron. I mean, c’mon, how could it NOT go to him, right? Well, special days happen that make you evaluate your lede and sometimes life when a guy that’s 20% owned in yahoo leagues scores 4 touchdowns on 8/122 on 8 targets. I’m gonna admit to you that I am still looking at Marvin Jones like an alien right now. I mean, the kid only had 16/247/3 coming into week 8 so this outpouring of fantasy goodness had to be a surprise even to Bengals fans and those 20%’ers out there. But second year wide outs coming alive midseason has happened before…right? Eh, it’s not as common I know. Marvin is probably more of a keeper pickup if he’s anything at this point but if you’re in a deeper league with enough bench depth to give him a shot/time, he’s worth the gamble. Not a question of talent with Marvin, just a question of opportunity. Well, I think you have that now, Jones. Take advantage. In other news from week 8 for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?