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If you watched Monday Night’s game between the Indianapolis Colts and New York Jets, then you know what I’m talking about. The Jets have no fight left. We should have seen that performance coming, though. Early last week, it was reported that Darrelle Revis didn’t want to play anymore. A Revis confidant said, “He’s done. If he had his way, he’d be done right now. He doesn’t want to play anymore. He’s made a lot of money.” Revis is making $17 million this year, by far the highest mark on the team. When the supposed franchise player and leader is mailing it in, it’s tough for a team to show fight. Now, there are a ton of issues with the Jets that have led to their 3-9 record, so it’s not all on Revis, but that’s another article for another day. The point is that at this stage of the season, many players are making “business decisions” and vacation plans on the field. The Jets are a prime team to stream against.

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Da bears are a joke. No B for you! They are 2-9 on the season and have only scored 178 points all year! The Lambs have scored 170? Geez. Only three other teams have failed to crack the 200 point barrier. Maybe they are playing on All-Madden while the rest of the league is on Pro. Forget about recounting votes for Hillary! I demand an audit of the NFL to check the gameplay settings! Actually, scratch that. They just suck.

So why the hell am I devoting my precious time and energy to Da bears this week?

For starters, the other great writers at Razzball got you covered on the main guys out there. Go check them out. I highly recommend it.

Disclaimer: Razzball did not pay me to write that, nor did they pay anyone in my immediate family for that endorsement. Pssst, Jay and Grey….all good?

I try to touch on the players that are a little off the reservation. Mission accomplished for sure this week. Achievement unlocked.

Finally, I wanted my loyal readers to be a part of history. Drum roll please… For the first time in Razzball Bear or Bull history, I will talk about not one, not two, but three players! Maybe four. I can see my followers gathering now. Yeah, I feel you.

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We mocked the Tennessee Titans all off-season. First, when they decided to retain Mike Mularkey as their full-time head coach, we all shook our heads. Not up and down, but side to side. Then Mularkey unveiled “exotic smashmouth” to the world. What the Mularkey??!! DeMarco Murray was signed as a free agent, but then they drafted Heisman running back Derrick Henry in the second round of the NFL Draft. Que? Before the season started, they traded physcial freak, Dorial Green-Beckham to the Eagles for an offensive lineman. What?! Que?! Huh?!

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Steve Smith is one of my favorite wide receivers of all-time. Randy Moss is probably numero uno, but that’s another article for another day. 997 receptions, 14,349 yards, 78 touchdowns, and eight seasons with over 1,000 yards. Oh, he’s also taken four punts and two kickoffs back to the house and he has 387 rushing yards with two touchdowns on 57 carries. While Moss was created with a 6’4″ 210 pound frame and programmed to utilize all the buttons on the Xbox controller, Smith did everything with a 5’9″ 195 pound physical frame. The dude is/was a packet of M-1000s that could run, jump, catch, and pummel defenders. There are so many GIFs that I want to post but here are some of my favorites… (1, 2, 3, 4.)

Smith being a local boy from LA who went to high school and community college a few miles from me, definitely adds to the allure, but my favorite story of him was how he used to punk Chad Johnson everyday when they both played for the SMC Corsairs. Enough nostalgia. Why am I choosing to highlight Smith in this week’s article?

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There’s a monster down in Jacksonville. No, it’s name is not Blake Bortles. Although, Bortles’ play this year has been downright frightening. This monster that I speak of is 6′ 0″ 224 pounds and has dreads flowing out from underneath his helmet, very much like the tentacles of the Kraken reaching out to engulf a ship at sea. Instead of munching on ships in the ocean, though, this monster trucks helpless defenders and leaves them in his wake. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to Chris Ivory of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Release the Kraken!

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One of the great mysteries of life is the nickname. It is often said that nicknames are earned and that one cannot give themselves their own nickname. I say: Ef that. If I have big ears, did I “earn” the Dumbo nickname? That’s some bull shiitake mushroom. By the way, I don’t have big ears and I was never called Dumbo. Just an example. Goes to room, locks self in closet and cries. You know how nicknames are established? There are only three ways. 1) The person being nicknamed accepts the nickname. This usually happens because the nickname is freaking dope. 2) The person is a beta. 3) The person is a beast and tells everyone else what they should call him.

Darren Sproles falls into the third category. People used to call him Super Smurf. I’m with Sproles., ef that! You know how much of a boss he is? He says to call him Tank because, when he was born, he weighed 10 pounds. That’s what I’m talking about.

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Toughness comes in many forms. Ivan Drago in Rocky IV was the stereotypical tough guy. So tall that he blocked the sun from reaching us mere mortals, a body that made both men and women soil their drawers, and a haircut that signified to the world that he DGAF. On the flip side, a tough guy can also be one that is impervious to pain. Rocky was that kind of tough guy. He was so tough that Drago whined that “he is not human, he is a piece of iron.” Which brings me to Josh McCown. Huh? Well, he does have the same haircut as Drago. But McCown is more Rocky than Drago. During his only game of the season so far, he suffered an injury in the first quarter. An injury that was later deemed a broken collarbone. He ended the game 20-of-33 for 260 yards with 2 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. First quarter people! Broken collarbone! The postgame interview was legendary. That’s my quarterback! I do own him in a league, so I can say that.

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Don Who? I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, but no one knows your son. But that’s all about to change. Eddie Lacy is expected to miss several weeks due to an ankle injury, with the possibility of being put on IR. James Starks is expected to miss four weeks after undergoing meniscus surgery. The Packers had Ty Montgomery and Randall Cobb taking snaps at running back. To show how dire the situation in Green Bay is, the Packers traded for Knile Davis, he of the career 3.3 average on 233 attempts.

So, who is Don Jackson?

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Depending on your league, there should be some very enticing options on the waiver wire at the wide receiver position this week. Many of you will be debating the merits of scooping up Cameron Meredith. If this article comes out after your waiver wire process, then you can check to see if you missed out on the next big thing or drown in your tears with buyer’s remorse.

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“Oh baby I like it raw. Yeah baby I like it raw.”

We play a fantasy game that tabulates stats from the performances of human beings playing the real game of football. To win, one must devoid emotion from the process and select the players that project to score the most points. It’s a very cold and robotic process, something the NFL (No Fun League) is probably ecstatic about. Yet, we are human. Antonio Brown scores two touchdowns and starts twerking in the endzone? We are on cloud 9 and put Antonio on the short list of baby names. C.J. Anderson fumbles at the goal line, costing countless owners a win, and people flock to Twitter and send death threats and racial slurs. One of the excuses I see thrown around to explain this behavior is that fans are passionate (but that’s not an excuse for stupidity, but that’s another discussion for another day). Okay. But you know what? Football players are humans too!!! And they have just as much passion, if not more than you or I. How else could you explain the willingness to consciously get into multiple car crashes a day?

I’ve seen so much silliness the past week regarding Odell Beckham Jr.

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