I swear, players with names like this were made for Razzball. Do you know how many puns I’m gonna squeeze out of this down the stretch with him? Trust me, you don’t even know. But more to the point, we here have been all over this guy this week. This isn’t an ‘I toldja so’ but I do hope you all listened to the Razzball Podcast on Tuesday when I said you should pick up Chris Rainey. Then I hope you read the first comment on the Podcast post where I clarified who I was talking about. Anyone out there picking up the 5th string RB for the Steelers…mea culpa. Hopefully you read my BUY column on the following day and made sure it was Bobby Rainey. Sure, I didn’t tell you to start him but Tampa Bay said Leonard was starting. And clearly Tampa Bay never lies…wait, what? Neverthewho! Finally, as if we didn’t treat you like a baby seal enough, we clubbed you over the head on Friday with J-FOH making Rainey the lead in The Handcuff Report. All this to say, unless you were in a coma for the last week, we got you in early on this gem. And if you’re reading us first after coming out of a coma, thank you! Now you should really put life in perspective if we’re the first thing you think of upon waking from something like that. But now that we’re done slapping each other on the ass for the good call over here, let’s get to the numbers: Rainey carried the load in Tampa with 30 carries for 163 yards and 2 TDs on the ground while chipping in 2 for 4 through the air and another score. Yes, that’s three TDs from a guy who’s 23% owned as of mid-day Sunday which probably means he was owned under 10% prior to games starting. Seriously guys, put it at automatic waivers when Sundays start. Cheaters! But more about Bobby: that boy ain’t right…to opposing defenses. There was a lot of concern about his size holding him back from being a lead RB but all I have to say to that is Warrick Dunn. Bobby (5-8, 212) and Warrick (5-9, 180) have a little in common in that area. Everyone wants to pick on the little guy back there but little doesn’t mean these guys can’t carry the load when presented. Looking forward, Rainey had a nice matchup against a Falcons team that has given up plenty on the ground to fantasy backs on the year so I’m not going to anoint him straight away. I’d like to see a little adversity before I do that but I do think if you nabbed him, you’ve got a mid-tier RB2 right now with explosive upside and the potential to make up for all the RB heartache you’ve no doubt suffered to date. Here’s to Rainey making you into the Reigning champion this year. See? We got this for days, people. In other news from Sunday of week 11 for 2013 Fantasy Football…
Calvin Johnson – Don’t hold me to this but I swear Calvin ended the first half with the same line he ended the game with: 6/179/2 on 13 targets. I don’t know who switched Madden from Rookie to All-Pro at the half but as a Megatron owner, I’m angry.
Josh Gordon – We need a term for guys like this. As frequent commenter Wilsonian would say ‘I swear, only when I bench him’. And yup, he benched him: 5/125/1 on 15 targets. Of course, most of the damage came on a 74 yarder in a game where Campbell reverted to check down king form – Whittaker/Obgonnaya/McGahee combined for 13 receptions – so to say it was an anomaly is just a fancy way of saying ‘it was hard to predict and didn’t fit into the gameflow at all’. I’m gonna start calling these GOOMBAs: Goes Off On My Bench Always. Now please remind me that I said that next week or I’ll forget.
Nick Foles – Yeah, I feel your dirty looks. But I’ll put it to you this way: 1 yard and 1 inch. That’s the difference between a 2 TD passing game with a rushing touchdown and a zero TD passing game. Celek got dropped right at the one as he stretched for the endzone and Cooper caught the ball on the goal line but the ball never passed the plane. Oh and did I mention Cooper dropped a 60 yard for sure TD pass after he got behind his defender on a drive that ended with a punt? Mmmm-hmmm. I can deliver you to the goods but I can’t predict shizz like that. I’m sure you’re not complaining about 17/26 for 298 and 47 rushing yards with a rushing TD but I’m sure you wanted more. Believe me, we all did.
Ben Roethlisberger – Clearly should’ve put him as the #1 QB on the board instead of Foles. Clearly. Honey, have we switched from electric to gas yet? I have something I need to put in the oven later…
LeSean McCoy – The real slim shady finally got a couple of scores as noted in the Foles blurb. Of course, he did plenty outside of that: 150 total yards and 4 receptions. Probably would’ve had more if the game weren’t being wound down for most of the 4th quarter. The only shares I have of this guy is in a second half total points league. Yes, I’m an Oregon Ducks alum and Chip Kelly believer. No, I don’t know how this happened.
Michael Floyd – Well then. I had him as WR30 for the week in standard. That was +9 over most of the industry. That’s all I got cuz I really didn’t see this coming. Finished with 6/193/1 on 11 targets as Carson Palmer was another surprise top 10 QB – well surprise to me, ok – and was even able to get Larry Fitzgerald involved (6/61/1 on 9 targets). This is still an offense that I don’t want to own many parts of for the playoffs (vs STL, @TEN, @SEA).
Matthew McGloin – Most likely will end the day with top 10 QB stats for fantasy. I didn’t have this one on the TV today so I’ll have to let you know what McGloin does to my loins another day. If the stat-carpet matches the game reel-drapes, I’m sure I’ll use the word ‘frothy’ in my analysis.
Matt Ryan – I said to sell him what feels like a million years ago at this point and yet I’m still getting ‘Ryan’s killing me, what should I do’ questions. I’m simply here telling you now that you can’t sell him to drop him if there’s streamable QBs in your league. Look 1/4th and inch above to find out who might fit that bill.
Reggie Bush – Got benched today. Of course, not by his fantasy owners. No, they trotted him out there for a fumble and 54 total yards while Joique Bell stepped in and performed exactly like he was doing last year before they spent a ridiculous amount of money to replace his production…yeah, I’m railing against the Lions on this signing again. But in all seriousness, it will be interesting to see how this pans out over the course of the week. Personally, I think this should be a bit more of a timeshare but I didn’t sign the RB formerly known as Kim K’s ass-caddy to a huge deal so it probably won’t come to fruition. For Reggie owners, I hope he comes out a fiery Bush next week.
Case Keenum – It went from ‘making a Case’ to ‘Case closed’ in a hurry in Houston. Kubiak brought in Schaub about mid-way through the 3rd quarter only to still lose as Matt led two FG scoring drives and botched the leading score at the end and went off the field fighting with Andre Johnson. I’d say ‘Houston, we have a problem’ to wear out the meme here but instead I’ll just roll with JayWrong and say Hand Schaub instead.
Antonio Brown – Did his best Megatron impression today: 7/147/2 on 13 targets. So good, in fact, I think most of his stats came in the first half too. Seriously, the fantasy awesome took a big poo in the second half in that game.
Harry Douglas – I don’t get it but it just keeps happening. Apparently we’re gonna get a heavy does of Harry D the rest of the way and I’m here to tell you it’s gross.
Garrett Graham – Through all the turmoil in Houston with a 2-headed QB attack, Graham was the lone bright spot in the lone star state: 7/136/1 on 13 targets. Now you’re gonna ask ‘should I pick him up?!?’ and I’ll say ‘you should’ve picked up and dropped about 5 TEs between now and the last time Garrett was relevant. Ya missed the boat’.
Ray Rice – You’re gonna ask me if he’s back, I can just feel it. I didn’t see the game but I did see what the Bears have done against opposing RBs heading into today. They’re ranked 31st against the rush all year. Add in the crazy bad weather conditions and you have a recipe for some piping hot Ray Rice. Throw in a little sweetener and serve on the side of a nice trade if your league still has that option open to you after today.
Antone Smith – Had 2 carries for 88 yards and a TD. Don’t know who he is? Yeah, I don’t either but he’s the guy the Falcons brought in when the game got out of hand and let him run wild on TB’s backup squad. Considering this is not a playoff team and the components they have – Tony Gonzalez/Steven Jackson/Roddy White – aren’t exactly getting any younger, this team might start looking to see what they have for the future of the squad starting now after a loss to a 1-8 team. Not a guy to waste a waiver on but you got a bench spot that’s being warmed by Mike Brown? Yeah, pick him up.
Matt Forte – One of the more consistent RB1s this year, Forte chipped in 125 total yards on 23 touches (5 recs) and a TD. Not much else to say, really. Just thought I’d point it out. No reason to get mad. Calm down before I call blog security!
New York Jets – They got the D today. Not that D silly! Though it was in the BUF. Geno has been a TO machine this year and lived up to it in this game, good for 3 INT and a lost fumble on a day where the Bills completely manhandled them. It was such a good match up for Buffalo, I ranked them as the 4th best defense this week. Let’s not talk about the Lions in the top ten, please…
Marshawn Lynch – Not his best game but I’m sure no owner will complain. Despite only having 63 total yards and chucking in a fumble, having 3 touchdowns kinda makes up for it. Forget the skittles, someone sent him motivational bongos before the game.
Charles Clay – This was the guy you were gonna ask if you should drop for Garrett Graham in the scenario up above because his game didn’t start until 4 pm EST, BTW. It was a weak week for TEs heading into Sunday Night as names such as Noble and Mychal Rivera are floating around in the top 10. They say a rising tide lifts all boats so what does a sinking TE production line do? It makes Delanie Walker look like a primo pickup for week 12. Must…resist…turnstyling…TE…
Knowshon Moreno – Gained 79 yards on 27 carries…what, you wanted more? Were you not entertained? Well, Ball went for 2 TDs. Yeah, he just went Full Montee on ya. Waaaaaay back at the beginning of this article I linked to the buy column. Well it’s also the sell column. That’s where you can find Moreno in said column. Yup.
Dwayne Bowe – Apparently not dead…well maybe now more Deadhead though most people listen to Phish nowadays or maybe Widespread Panic? Wait, where was I? I’m hungry. Anyone got any chips? Wanna order a pizza? Have you ever thought about how Scooby Doo had a talking dog? That’s some crazy ‘ish, brah…