A wise, ancient pop song proverb once read, ‘Just when I thought our chance had passed, you go and save the best for last’. On the night of what could be the final game played in Candlestick park, a player that has been pretty much a fantasy afterthought all season since his big week 1 finally came through for his owners when they needed him most. Or maybe those owners had finally moved on from him and grabbed Nick Foles or something. Or maybe because of him they’re on the outside looking into this championship season. Whatever the situation is, Colin Kaepernick has been a bit of a fantasy albatross all year. You couldn’t drop him because you had so few guys to drop him for but you sure couldn’t start him with confidence most weeks. Putting Colin in your starting lineup required more than one or two drops of courage from his owners on a weekly basis. He has definitely not been the guy we all thought we were drafting when he was going off the boards around QB6 for the year. To his credit, he hasn’t been playing with his offense at full steam as he was missing Crabs terribly but that’s also a knock on him: there are plenty of good QBs who can get it done without having major key components. So on the one hand, I’m recognizing the deck was stacked a bit against him but on the other I feel it necessary to point out the flaws because they’re pretty glaring. He needs playmakers in order to be effective. You can’t just sub in Andre Caldwell and expect magic from Colin so keep that tucked away for future ideas when drafting this guy. That said, when the cylinders are clicking, it’s hard to not like the end result. Colin finished the night and possibly Candlestick off with a fantasy flourish going 13/21 for 197 yards passing, 51 yards rushing and two total touchdowns with one coming on the ground as he finished week 16 as the 4th highest scoring QB and with a reminder of what he can do when given the right setup. If he won you your league, good on you. If he sunk your battleship before you even got to play this crazy playoff game well, there’s always next year…and Fantasy Baseball! Sorry, couldn’t resist. I’m bi-fantasexual. I used to be tri but I don’t have time for Fantasy Basketball anymore as much as I liked it. I’ve only played Fantasy Hockey once so I have very little reference to it…and yet I keep just adding links pointlessly just to see if I can hyperlink hypnotize you into clicking. Is it working yet? Yeah, didn’t think so. Either way, just trying to spread the word that we aren’t just Fantasy Football around here. And for those who follow Razzball and are worried about missing my beautiful, grainy face, you can catch me on the baseball side in a limited capacity all year and I’ll still be over here churning out Fantasy Football like the Amish make butter. Now I’m feeling like I’m having my OWN personal final Candlestick moment…I told myself I wouldn’t cry! And I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for my damn Uncle. That is some rank gas! Damn the Holidays and not having a guest bedroom! Ok, let’s get this show over with. Here’s what else I saw for Monday Night Football from week 16 of the Fantasy Football season…oops, PS I MIGHT not get those week 17 rankings out to you until Friday. We’ve got some, as they say, babies to shake and hands to kiss…or something. Look, just realize the rankings will come out but maybe it’ll be Friday and maybe it’ll be Thursday. Look, if I can be flexible, so can you. Now on with it…
Matt Ryan – Probably one of his better weeks in…well, weeks: 348/2/2 with the first INT being a microcosm of the macrocosm that has been the Falcons’ luck all year. I’m already penciling Ryan down as underrated for 2014 drafts.
Michael Crabtree – Seriously, just a TD, Fantasy Gods, and I would’ve been smoking with my top 15 ranking of him this week. It’s hard to hate on 5/102 but…dah, just a TD! Please! An anti-PSA PSA for dynasty/keeper leagues: get Crabs.
Roddy White – Hey yo Mr. White, where you been? You know I’ve been down here in the lab cooking for your sorry ass all day and you’ve been out playing around like a silly bitch. But oh, NOW you show up and drop a 12/141/1 line on us. Well ladi-freakin-da, Mr. White! Remember what I said about Ryan? Applies here, too. It was just an unlucky year all around. It happens. Don’t look back in anger.
Tony Romo – In the ‘it only matters to you if you’re a Cowboys fan or a person who plays in week 17 for championships’ news, Romo may be out this week with a herniated disc, leaving room for neck beard Kyle Orton to step in and throw an ill-fated 4th quarter INT. Those who love the narrative, don’t worry: it’ll still be Romo’s fault if it happens.
Frank Gore – Another year, another solid if unspectacular season from Frank as he finished the night with 103 total yards and a TD that was no doubt special for him on Candlestick sendoff. Frank will need just 84 more yards next week to finish with his third straight 1,200+ rushing, 8+ TD season. Sure, 2006 never happened again but looking back it’s hard to hate what Gore has done and where he’s gone in drafts, especially of late. You’re Gore-geous, Frank, and don’t let anyone tell you different.
Tony Gonzalez – I thought he was retired or something but that 8/63/1 says he’s not. It’s gonna be weird when Tony does hang up the cleats. The last time you couldn’t draft Gonzo in fantasy drafts, a guy named Wesley Walls was the second highest scorer in standard leagues at TE behind some Shannon Sharpe dude. I seriously thought he was just brought on CBS for his fashion sense. #Sarcasm
Anquan Boldin – So I liked Boldin this week but not as much as I liked Crabtree, especially for dailies. Oh you touchdowns are dirty little things. Boldin finished with a 6/72/1 and was a large reason I lost in a friend’s league. Well that and the Gore TD that was 3 yards from being a Kendall Hunter TD and a Harry Douglas bobble that led to that pick-six. Basically what I’m telling you is that I lost on multiple levels and don’t wanna talk about it anymore.
Terrelle Pryor – The cool daily fantasy news: Pryor gets the start in week 17. The weird news: his agent thinks he’s being started as a plot to destroy his credibility as Dennis Allen wants him to fail. Well, I’m guessing if they’re calling a pass play with Pryor in, they really are trying to make him look bad…