lat-sp-doug-baldwin-20150124-0

It was finally nice to see some great prime time football for once last week! Seahawks versus the  Patriots was an absolutely fitting battle where the Seahawks flipped the script of their Super Bowl XLIX defeat, and Bengals vs. Giants was a tight game until the end. It would’ve been nice to see a bit more flash on Monday Night Football with stars like Odell Beckham Jr., A.J. Green, and Tyler Eifert on the field, but viewers and fantasy owners can’t be too disappointed with how things turned out. Even though we didn’t see much in the way of explosive, flashy plays, wasn’t Beckham’s rendition of Thriller beautiful to watch at least? Last week I wrote about the good ole’ days of football where touchdown celebrations used to make the games better, so the fact that he didn’t get flagged made it all the better. After briefly speaking about the celebration in his post game interview, Beckham got me thinking when he mentioned he was inspired by Conor McGregor’s UFC 205 victory. How ironic is it that Beckham, one of the feeblest minds in the NFL, can be inspired by Conor McGregor, one of our generation’s most prolific trash talkers? I mean, just imagine if Conor was a cornerback slotted to go against Beckham. How many plays do you think it takes for it to escalate to the Josh Norman level of 2015? Two? Three? Either way, I’m sure his fantasy owners don’t care who inspires him as long as he keeps producing. Now it’s time to look at this week, where I take you through all the guys that should be inspiring you to start them.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Learn more about our 2017 Fantasy Football Subscriptions!

All the season-long projections you could ever want. A kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!.

I don't have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

97374d16-ac61-11e6-8658-f19bfd35e388-780x568

If there was any question at all as to who was in command of the Seattle backfield until Thomas Rawls returns, C.J. Prosise answered with a swift and precise Dolemite style backhand. Last Sunday against the Patriots he not only dominated the carries (17 to just 5 for Christine Michael) he was a monster in the red zone, as he toted the rock six times inside the 20-yard line – including five times inside the 10. He’s clearly carved out a relevant role within Pete Carroll’s offense. Now, if you want to poke holes in this theory, be my guest – he averaged less than three yards per carry in the red zone. There, I teed it up for you. Regardless about how you feel about Prosise going forward just remember this: He caught all seven targets he saw in Week 10, totaling 87 yards. In my opinion, what we have here is at worst a PPR factor and at best someone who can propel you to the fantasy playoffs. I’ll take that one hundred percent of the time. This week he’ll square off against the Philadelphia defense and by no means is that an easy assignment. The Eagles rank 12th in the league in rushing yards allowed, giving up 100.6 per game. They’ve only surrendered 4 rushing touchdowns this season, but that’s okay as I’m not wavering from my Prosise recommendation this week. With the release of Christine Michael and Thomas Rawls’ effectiveness still in question, Prosise is in for what should amount to a sizeable workload. And as mentioned above, he should produce serious dividends in the passing game this week. Because as we all know, opportunity usually equals volume for feature backs.

Here’s a look at a few more of my favorite passing and rushing matchups for Week 11:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

30_stevesmithreturn_news

Steve Smith is one of my favorite wide receivers of all-time. Randy Moss is probably numero uno, but that’s another article for another day. 997 receptions, 14,349 yards, 78 touchdowns, and eight seasons with over 1,000 yards. Oh, he’s also taken four punts and two kickoffs back to the house and he has 387 rushing yards with two touchdowns on 57 carries. While Moss was created with a 6’4″ 210 pound frame and programmed to utilize all the buttons on the Xbox controller, Smith did everything with a 5’9″ 195 pound physical frame. The dude is/was a packet of M-1000s that could run, jump, catch, and pummel defenders. There are so many GIFs that I want to post but here are some of my favorites… (1, 2, 3, 4.)

Smith being a local boy from LA who went to high school and community college a few miles from me, definitely adds to the allure, but my favorite story of him was how he used to punk Chad Johnson everyday when they both played for the SMC Corsairs. Enough nostalgia. Why am I choosing to highlight Smith in this week’s article?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

r150806_576x324_16-9

Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. The monotony of repetition quickly bores me. For the last ten weeks I have been writing the same post. Different players, same game. Well today I’m saying f-ck it and I’m zigging when I normally zag. They’ve sent in a run play, but I’m calling an audible and throwing the ball down field. If I’m putting my cards on the table, the last four times I’ve done this I’ve thrown three incomplete passes and an interception.

For those that are actually looking for my weekly waiver wire lineup of misfits, I’d hate to disappoint. These guys combined for 177.94 points. I was going to say that they combined for 206.24 points and see if any of you actually bothered to check my math. I’m betting that no one would have caught on.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

r122634_2_600x400_3-2

Well, well, well, look whose back!  It is me, your fearless Fantasy Football Goddess!  Yes, it is true that I had abandoned all of you the past few weeks.  Let this be a lesson to all of you, never, and I mean NEVER travel to Yemen with 2 kilos of hash stowed away in your hooter.  At least, not unless you have an endless supply of money to throw at the Yemeni (is that a word?) government to let you out.  So, needless to say, I am finally back in the states, hooter is back to its normal shape and size, and I am a better person for it.  All in all, it was an experience and I am happy to say that I learned that 2 kilos is 1.5 kilos too much.  So how are we all doing?  It’s been a rough few weeks in the fantasy realm, I see.  I have taken quite a beating myself (body cavity searches aside) and I am at that point in the season where I am throwing in Jose at running back.  You all know Jose.  He was the groundskeeper that I picked up last year and held onto in a lifetime keeper league.  Sure, he doesn’t put up quite the points that I would expect him to, but hey, he puts up more points than most, am I right?  Well, since I know you are all chomping at the bit to hear what gospel I have to bestow upon you this week, I will delay no more.  Here you are, my loyal horde, Week 11’s Hit it or Quit it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

kelley

If you’re like me and you’re not into the current political talk, boy have I got a great read for you. I promise the most election-like references I’ll make in the entire post have to do with locker room politics. Instead, let me focus on the cause of what’s wrong with football lately, Roger Goodell. The man in the high castle seems to be too busy counting all the TV revenue money and player fines to worry about how bad ratings are. But don’t we, the public, deserve more from one of the most influential sports in America? I can’t be the only one eating member berries and thinking back to the good ole’ days. Remember when players were free to take cheerleader pom poms for a dance and pull out phones to call and tell their buds they scored? Hell, if Goodell is afraid of “sportsmanship” maybe he ought to implement a more stringent policy on performance enhancing drugs. You know, like the HGH policy that hasn’t caught a single player since the rule’s inception. Hopefully, we can make football great again someday soon and start the fun again. Till then, I guess dancing at home when your sketchy Flex play scores is going to have to do. I’ll do my part and give you a few names to help get you to that victory dance.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

12-13-2009---Chicago Bears host the Green Bay Packers---Bears quarterback Jay Cutler waits for a challange call regarding a possible Bears TD in the 2nd quarter--Sun-Times photo by Tom Cruze

I absolutely, positively do not want to start Week 10 this way. But, it has to be done. I’m going to suggest Jay Cutler and there’s nothing you can do about it. Sure, it may seem like I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here, but trust me on this one. Mr. Cavallari has a sweet, sweet match up this week at Tampa Bay and we should all be excited to cash in on this opportunity. The Buccaneers are giving up 20.9 points fantasy points per game (5th most in the league) to opposing quarterbacks and Cutler put up a respectable 14.3 points in his Week 8 return against the Vikings. That’s pretty impressive, especially when you consider that Minnesota has faced four QBs inside the top-12 this season and they haven’t allowed a 20 point day to any of them. In fact they haven’t allowed 20 points to any of the eight QBs they faced this season. Meanwhile, the Buccaneers were torched by Derek Carr (35 points) and Matt Ryan (24.3) in back-to-back weeks. Now, I realize that Cutler isn’t on the Carr/Ryan level, but Tampa Bay is averaging 281 passing yards allowed per week and they’ve handed out 18 passing scores so far this season. Both those numbers rank 27th and 30th in the league respectively. There’s a “better than good” chance that Cutler will have to go to the air early and often to keep up with Jameis Winston and company. So taking a chance on the rocket-arm of the former Santa Claus, Indiana resident might be in your best interest this week.

Here’s a look at a few more of my favorite passing and rushing match ups for Week 10:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

dfh1608202958jaguars_vs_bucs

There’s a monster down in Jacksonville. No, it’s name is not Blake Bortles. Although, Bortles’ play this year has been downright frightening. This monster that I speak of is 6′ 0″ 224 pounds and has dreads flowing out from underneath his helmet, very much like the tentacles of the Kraken reaching out to engulf a ship at sea. Instead of munching on ships in the ocean, though, this monster trucks helpless defenders and leaves them in his wake. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to Chris Ivory of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Release the Kraken!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings! What. Just. Happened? Six months ago, I would have literally bet my life against five grand that Donald Trump had zero shot at being the Republican nominee. Two months ago, I would have bet every red cent I have that he could not defeat Hillary Clinton in this epic battle for USA supremacy. It became quite apparent to me how insanely wrong I was about the whole sitch, right about when Trump did Killary like Frank Dukes did Chong Li in Bloodsport. One can only receive so many consecutive roundhouse kicks to the grill piece before they fall to the mat in a bloody and bruised pile of raw hamburger meat and shart-stained drawls. This is honestly the hugest upset in the history of politics, or maybe the biggest upset of any kind. I’m talking about in the history of the world. I am beyond shocked. A few months ago, I would have said I’m appalled, but Hillary is so insanely unlikable that the fact she could have been the first woman to preside over the United States of America wasn’t even an interesting story. Her campaign became desperate, as she posted edited attack ads going at Trump, making her look petty and weak. Not only did Trump win, but the Republicans managed to still maintain control of both the house and the senate! PLEASE RID THIS NATION OF THE DEATH TAX! This money has already been taxed. What right does the government have to it? Again, this money has already been taxed. I don’t even understand how this is a real thing. But, truly, this Trump shizz is beyond nuts, but kudos to him for staying the course and pulling it out. Imagine how incredible it would feel to win the Presidency after countless celebrities and people like Warren Buffett and Mark Cuban blasted him non-stop. I must say, that that’s quite impressive. You simply cannot deny this. Yes, my goodmen, Donald J. Trump got the last laugh here…

I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Disgrace and Delight! Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

nfl_a_hyde01jr_576x324

Ladies and gentleman, America has played its Trump card. Just goes to show you just how much this country dislikes Hillary Clinton. They were willing to elect a man with no political experience over one with a lifetime. Good riddance Killary, and congratulations President Trump. You know what they say, every dog has its day. Well, here are my dogs. Speaking of dogs, has anyone gone to or plan to attend a Temple of the Dog show? If so, I’m jealous. While this might not be the best lineup I have presented, 172 points should be more than enough to bring home a win.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Page 2 of 912345...Last »