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Well, on a day where Jim Nantz called a pregame 9/11 memorial a 9/11 celebration, there really isn’t anywhere to go other than down… Or maybe I’m just talking in the context of the Chargers. And yes, I think I’ve written this before, but as one of the few Chargers fans in the industry (there are dozes of us, dozens!), I actually try really hard not to wax poetic about this team, an anti-bias if you will. (Except for Philip Rivers, he’s a flower.) Though, it could also be because injuries and disappointment have been a yearly routine for the Chargers, so plugging in a fork is probably more preferable than writing about them. Regardless, I only try to focus on them when it is absolutely necessary, because, believe me, I’d rather not write about how they lost yesterday despite having a 24-point lead at the half, nor would I want to mention that the Chiefs had the biggest comeback in franchise history, especially since both of those things would probably put someone like myself on suicide watch… But I do probably need to discuss Keenan Allen‘s non-contact knee injury that occurred before the half, which required a cart and hospital visit. It has now been confirmed to be an ACL tear, and based on my extensive health knowledge and degree in orthopedics (haha, my mother wishes!), I can come to the determination that this is bad. Like, season-ending bad. Also, knees continue to be a weak point in human anatomy. Also possibly groins. And this will not only cause ripple effects in football, but fantasy football as well. I think it’s fair to assume that Allen will be out the rest of the year, and here’s who will be affected positively by it: Travis Benjamin, Tyrell Williams, and Dontrelle Inman. To a lesser extent? Antonio Gates and Danny Woodhead. Here’s who will be affected negatively by it: My liver.

We’ll go over it a bit more along with all the other news and notes from yesterdays games after the jump…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Granted, there isn’t a rich history to draw from in terms of “quality football” on Thursdays, but you have to think that this being an actual Sunday Night production, coupled with the fact that we actually haven’t had a real game in what feels like decades, I’m pretty sure I would have been enamored if it was the Vikings playing against the Titans (which we’ll actually receive this Sunday! Wooo?). That being said, the game was actually pretty good on the scale of Graham Gano to those muscles in your arm that benefit the most if you’re throwing a penalty flag. (I mean, there were so many flags this game, it felt more like a United Nations summit, amirite?) Both teams looked sluggish throughout though, which was probably to be expected in the first game of the season. The Broncos and Panthers burned a lot of timeouts too, each for their own derpy reasons. For Denver, they seemingly forgot to count and had multiple downs where 12 men were on the field. For Carolina, five total timeouts from both halves were wasted because of terrible clock management by Newton (though I’m pretty sure Jerry Richardson was only upset with three-fifths of them). In fact, Andy Reid probably uploaded all these timeouts to his PornHUB account. That being said, I have to add that I found myself pretty frustrated with the continued non-calls on what were some brutal hits to Cam Newton. There were at least three blatant roughing the passer calls that were missed (or ignored?), and the last hit, late in the fourth quarter that actually drew a flag (you can see it after the jump), which was a helmet spear of all things, was offset by an intentional grounding. Oh, okay then, that makes sense. But the game was close throughout and quite entertaining, and due to the fact that Trevor Siemian flirted between the lines of profoundly mediocre and downright awful, the Panthers had a chance with seven seconds to win the game with a 44-yard field goal attempt in altitude… so yeah, we know how that turned out. Congrats to your 0-1 undefeated Panthers! Wait a second…

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We made it folks. You know that because #buttfumble. Yesterday was the last Sunday without regular season football for a long time, and I can’t wait to get this season started. I’m just so excited for what we have in store for you this year, but I could also be excited from eating copious amounts of Guinness (part of an essential and balanced meal) on this wonderful Labor day. Even if it’s some strange combination of the two, it matters not, for Football, and Fantasy Football is back. Follow me after the jump to see what we are cooking for you this year at Razzball HQ. Hint: It’s not edible, even though I said we’re cooking. I mean, you can eat your computer if you want, but I would recommend unplugging it first. And probably adding some salt. Also… we don’t really have a HQ, because this sh*t right here is global. MUTHA F*CKING GLOBAL. (You should probably read that in Samuel L. Jackson voice. Really brings out the best in all things, I say.)

There are still a few spots open for our Razzball Commentator Leagues… if you want to take on fellow readers and our own contributors for a chance at some cool prizes, join up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Injured Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Sam Bradford, in street clothes, at Lincoln Financial Field late in the game against Tampa Bay November 22, 2015. The Eagles had a very frustrating game losing 45-17. ( CLEM MURRAY / Staff Photographer )

In what is surprising news for an unsurprising outcome, Sam Bradford finds himself traded yet again, this time to the Vikings. After Teddy Bridgewater went down with 2,398 explosions in his leg, many wondered what direction the Vikings would go. Was it going to be a destination for Mark Sanchez (LOL)? Maybe even Colin Kaepernick? Or as I aptly put it the other day on our weekly Podcast: sticking with the status quo and having A Shaun Hill to Die On? All of these options could have been considered for a franchise (including other ones), that despite suffering a huge setback this year by losing their starting quarterback, still had a lot of pieces to compete in the near future with. And while the type of injury Bridgewater suffered is something that could affect his career outlook, so far the prognosis had been slightly positive. Even with that in mind, the Vikings’ Rick Spielman and Mike Zimmer decided to mortgage a major part of their future for the very mediocre, and very injury-prone Sam Bradford. Here’s how the deal looks based off today’s reports:

Eagles send: Vikings send:
Sam Bradford 2017 1st Round Pick
$11,000,0000 (of $18,000,000) in Total Salary 2018 Conditional 4th Round Pick*

*The conditional pick can become a second or third rounder based on the Vikings success, as in, for example, if they reach the NFC Championship Game, it turns into a third, and if they reach the Super Bowl, it becomes a second rounder.

Okay, so, my non-expert opinion is this:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Now that the weekend has ended and we’re that much closer to the start of the NFL season, one has to ask (especially Cowboys fans and Tony Romo fantasy owners): Can I get off this wild ride? No. No you may not is probably the answer. After Tony Romo took a hit from Seattle’s Cliff Avril during a benign slide this past Thursday, the chronological order of what then took place was as follows:

  • “Romo Back Throwing on the Sidelines.” [Source.]
  • “Romo talks about minor back injury, seems completely fine. No X-rays needed.” [Video.]
  • “Tony Romo had an MRI Friday and has a broken bone in his back.” [Source.]

Well, that certainly escalated quickly. Oh, and what’s that imaginary narrative voice used as a vehicle to add a nice flourish whilst moving to another but related point to what was just stated? There’s more…? Oh god…

  • “Romo to wear back brace. Garrett not ruling him out for week one.” [Source.]

LOL, Jason Garrett, never change my man. Anyhow, there are certainly some fantasy implications with such an injury, and to be completely frank, there are probably real life implications for your liver at the moment if you’ve ever found yourself residing in the Dallas area or if you’ve ever been afflicted at all by Romoliciousness (it’s a real thing, trust me). But let’s all be honest with ourselves at this present time… you’re used to it by now… right? I mean, you have to be.

So, the rankings have been updated already, but here’s how it all settled, at least until they install a robotic spine into Romo’s body and I have to change everything all over again…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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