Crowd chants: “WE WANT JEN! WE WANT JEN!” I know, I know, sometimes real life gets in the way. You probably woke up this morning expecting your usual Hit it or Quit it article and were disappointed to see the picture of Diddy at the top of the football blog but I promise you that we will get through this together. Jen will be back next week and if you would like to check out my regularly scheduled Monday programming, you can find it here.

And now, are you going to Hit it… or Quit it?

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Last week’s waiver wire recommendations didn’t go entirely according to plan. Only the Rams defense and Jeremaine Kearse performed as I predicted. However, some of those guys like Rex Burkhead, Evan Engram and Younghoe Koo were me trying to play the long con. By season’s end is when they’ll start having their value.

Finally football season is back in full swing and we can start making REAL predictions. No more prognosticating — just cold, hard facts. Like the Jacksonville Jaguars and LA Rams meeting in the Super Bowl! FACTS!

Here we go with my waiver adds of the week! These are guys you should think of grabbing if one of your starters is injured or if Kirk Cousins was who we thought he was. Obvious grabs of the week: Marqise Lee (due to Allen Robinson’s injury), Kerwynn Williams (due to David Johnson’s injury) and Kendall Wright (due to Kevin White’s injury.)

If you’ve got league specific questions, I’ve got league specific answers — leave a comment below!

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Welcome back my faithful Horde, to another season of my sexual innuendo-laced musings! Wow, what a Week 1 it has been, huh? My Black Widow curse didn’t seem to waste any time this season and came out PMS’d ovaries a’blazin’! Yours truly made it out of Week 1 unscathed, but I can’t say the same for the rest of you poor bastards. I’m sorry; you know it comes with the territory and with loving me. It could be worse…she could have a more vengeful sister, so be grateful that her PMS only happens for 16 weeks. Okay, sometimes it takes a week off, but only when she has feasted and is satiated. So, how did your respective drafts go? Did you get all your needs met? Me? Not too shabby, although in two leagues I was stuck at the 12 pick again. I am starting to think that the choosing system is a bit misogynistic, but I can hang. I am afraid that this week’s article is going to be a little predictable, since most of the quits are the ones who went down (and not in a good way) but hopefully I can satisfy all of your desires with this week’s hits. So, without further ado, why don’t you sit back, put your feet up, and prepare to be transported into my world. Ladies and gentlemen, inmates and ex-cons, let’s begin another year of Hit it or quit it.

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I can’t figure it out.  I have spent years defending myself, and staving off attacks from everywhere and everyone, but I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why people like the Beatles.  I know I am in the minority, and am always willing to admit that I am the oddball, but people are always more than happy to tell me that “I am wrong”, and “you don’t know what you are talking about”, and “they’re not really your children.”

Does this ever happen to you?  Going against popular convention can be tricky, but sometimes you have to go with your gut.  And my gut has said one thing very loud and clearly to me for this upcoming fantasy season… avoid LeSean McCoy.

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If we were all born geniuses we wouldn’t be drafting until this weekend for leagues that we pay into. Most of us are terribly impatient fantasy football players and for whatever reason need an extra week or two to stare at rosters that we can’t do anything with while top end wide receivers and running backs tear their ACLs making awkward cuts.  Julian Edelman, Spencer Ware, and Cameron Meredith are all players going anywhere from the early to middle rounds that have had their seasons ended before they even started and thousands of people have these players on their rosters because WE MUST DRAFT IN AUGUST BECAUSE AUGUST IS DRAFT MONTH.  MY FANTASY BASEBALL TEAM SUCKS AND I NEED A ROSTER TO LOOK FORWARD TO. Yeah, I’m the exact same way.  Whether it is due to an injury on the roster, a good preseason, or a player is just being overlooked, here are some players that are worth your picks and also some that aren’t worth your time based on recent changes in August.

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

Also, check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

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Before I get into this article, let me be clear about one thing:

Terrelle Pryor is an absolute physical freak!  He is a 6-foot 4-inch tall receiver that can run a 4.4 forty yard dash and I was able to witness his dominance first hand in Nashville last season when Pryor snagged 9 receptions for 75 yards and 2 red-zone touchdowns.

Now that I stated the obvious, please allow me to spend the rest of this article arguing that 2017 Fantasy Football drafters should not be buying the Terrelle Pryor hype because he is an unpolished receiver, his new team underwent turnover in the offensive locker room, and most importantly, his draft cost is simply too high.

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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Before you begin to read this article, I shall require that you execute a move to a quiet and discreet location. If you have an office, close the door and shut the blinds. If thou works in a cubicle, a restaurant, manual labor, etc., I demand you leave at once. You deserve a sick day, you deserve… my sickness. I will even personally have a doctor write you a note. That is correct, I’ve consummated relationships with numerous doctors, the kind that are not timid when it comes to getting their hands dirty… Usually it’s a pointer finger up my butt, but in this case the gals will gladly write you the letter, prescriptions extra, butt (no pun intended) of course. Marijuana is encouraged, not because I smoke it (I’m sober), but because I’ve been told that’s the only way a human brain can properly portray what I am trying to get across here. If not, just steal some of your wife’s Adderall she keeps for weight-losing emergencies, you know, the stuff she keeps around to impress the co-worker she flicks the bean to three nights a week while you’re drinking macrobrews with your bros, or sleeping on the sidewalk for early Comic-Con admittance. Divorce her? And lose half of your things!?! ARE YOU INSANE? Have your children taken away from you!??!…Depends on the children I suppose. Do you realize your fantasizes of picking up a hot younger woman will disintegrate the moment you are sharing a studio apartment in the city with curtain down the middle with some 20-year-old college junior college grad driving a 2002 Prius, for you are now paying child support and are far less good looking than you’ve believed your entire life. You’ve become sloppy and overweight, balding; you’re a farter with halitosis that needs assistance in having the zits on his back popped. Maybe it’s time for some life changes. Quite possibly, it’s time to hit the gym, get some hair plugs and some benzoyl peroxide wash for your back… OOOOOOOOOOOOOR, you could just focus all you energy and built up repulsion of that badger you married, ON BUILDING THE GREATEST FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! The key to getting out of your marriage ahead just be shutting her out completely and then having a private dick follow her around until he snaps some flicks of her getting papaya from that aforementioned co-worker we spoke of earlier. With that being said… I AM TEHOL BEDDICT and this DISGRACE/DELIGHT! TAKE HEED!

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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Pierre Garçon is the newly signed #1 wide receiver of the San Francisco 49ers. You are probably asking yourself: “Why does the lead receiver of a team that Vegas predicts will win four or five games in 2017 matter for Fantasy Football drafts and why did I click on this article?” Great question, the three key reasons why Pierre Garçon is a super sleeper in 2017 Fantasy Football drafts are his projected opportunity, his reunion with an old offensive mastermind, and very his low price.

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Join here!

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By definition, a “dark horse” is a little-known thing that emerges to prominence.  You can’t call the Tennessee Titans a dark horse, it’s a cop out.  We all know they have the weapons to snag a wild card spot if they aren’t able to surpass the Texans this year.  They added weapons on offense, such as Eric Decker and Corey Davis, and they were able to sign Jurell Casey to a long term contract.

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