Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

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Welcome to the second edition of my Sunday game reviews. This Sunday was definitely more fun than what we went through last week. We actually had a couple of nail biters yesterday. I’m also enjoying the fact that a lot of the games are finishing in under three hours. The NFL is doing something right! Now if we could just get rid of the rest of the bullsh*t we’d be on the right track!

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If you tuned into last week’s primer, you’ll know that the beginning of the season began the right way with large amounts of New England schadenfreude, which is pretty much the best kind of schadenfreude if you’re into that whole German thing. And I only mention this not as another opportunity to give my best to the Northeast (well…), but to segue into Week 2, where once again, things are starting off right (depending on how much you enjoy Skyline Chili) with the Cincinnati Bengals already in full playoffs mode. I’m not sure firing your offensive coordinator (and quarterbacks coach Bill Lazor, pew pew!) after your second game is the best thing to do, only because any time previously two weeks ago would have been gajillion times better. If the Bengals organization went into this season saying “Gee, Ken Zampese (and Bill Lazor, pew pew!) sure seems like he’s right on the cusp of something awful or something great. We’ll just gauge where he’s at on the awful-to-great scale on a week-to-week basis…” then maybe the actual problem is Mike Brown and the Bengals front office. And that Andy Dalton is a ginger…

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 2 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our Staff Consensus, player updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the comment section!

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…Because I Always Welcome Another Thing to Disappoint Me.

Wait, we’re already rebooting Spiderman again? Oh, hey, quick question, anyone know who sponsored the SNF opening? Was it T-Mobile? Sprint maybe? Also, you should know that Von Miller was jumping with butt-flames before it was hip…

Welcome to what I call “Jay’s Review”… since, you know, I’m Jay, and this is my review of Week 1. Spoilier Alert! (That probably should have gone before the last sentence, but f*ck it, we’re doing it live!) For many of you who’ve been wandering around my Razzballs (haha, get it?) for the last four years, you’ve seen the site go through minute but incremental changes. Kinda like the world in general. So DEEP. And so this season, we’re bringing yet another minute and incremental change… If you hadn’t noticed, Matt Bowe led off the day with his take on what happened Sunday… you should check it out. I think it was a love letter to Kenny Golladay, but whatever. Having such an informative asset (potential double entendre alert!) in terms of both Football and Fantasy Football will allow me to spread my wings and fly. Right over to your mother’s house. It’s no secret that I like having a little fun… probably a little too much fun. For those of you who want deep analytics like how I want to watch Deep Impact over and over again (Armageddon is in my top-10, lest we all forget that asteroid movies are my fetish) and some usable fantasy information, Matt’s your guy. If you’d like to have a little fun with what happened Sunday, experience some jokes, watch some great plays in GIF form, create some hot takes, AND still enjoy some “measured” usable fantasy information, welcome to my club! We get spiffy hats. Just kidding. I just get the spiffy hats. TL;DR – Why so serious? See Matt! Want to see me in a spiffy hat? See me!

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Well, that was… something.  Not a really exciting day, right? We waited months and months for three players to go over 100 yards receiving today and only two rushers to go over 100 yards as well.  We had a game in Green Bay where there should have been 800 points scored but neither team could get to 20.

Welcome to my weekly recap of the action we saw on Sunday.  So, I physically can’t watch every play of all 12 or 13 games that go on during the afternoon, but I do watch about 6.5 hours of Redzone every Sunday, so you could say that me and Andrew Siciliano are kind of a thing.  I’ll let you know how I interpret things that I see watching live and what I see in the box score.  I’m not going to bore you with paragraphs upon paragraphs on each game but, I assure you that you will know the trends that you need to know to make decisions for your lineup the next coming week.  Let’s start with the most exciting game from a fantasy stand point…

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Welcome, everyone, to the first chapter of the story in which the Patriots win yet another Super Bowl.

Wait, what’s that?

They lost the opener? To Andy Reid? And Alex Smith? (Laughs for nine hours. Stops to breathe. Laughs another nine hours. Another inhale. Sleeps for six hours. Rinse and repeat.) So yeah, football’s back guys. And with it came the usual hour-and-a-half pregame show that generally felt like 127 hours while also at the same time watching the ending of 127 Hours for 127 hours straight. (If I ctrl-effed “hours” right now, my monitor would light up like a Christmas tree.) So of course NBC Sunday Night Football would premier on a Thursday, it’s still a “day”, am I right? Bob Costas looked even more like a shambling corpse than last year. Tony Dungy looked as much like Nosferatu as he ever has. And then we were treated by a Marky Mark recap of last season’s Patriots Super Bowl win, with all the unnecessary lording over that would entail. I was actually surprised he was able to inform us of what happened in the fourth quarter since he checked out in the third with the rest of New England, but the fact remains that only the Patriots could show up a team which they have no rivalry with like it was a team full of Mangini’s.

The actual game itself began in prototypical fashion, with the continued slow evolution of Alex Smith turning in Rex Grossman, a human being who would actually look better if he had cauliflower ear. Think about it. And then there was Kareem Hunt with his first carry as a professional…

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Last night in the NFL Preseason was quite a doozy. After just a few series on offense for the New England Patriots, WR Julian Edelman came up limping and grabbing the back of his knee after a play. Just a few minutes later in the Kansas City game, RB Spencer Ware had to be carted off the field. In New England, the fear is that Edelman has a torn ACL, with a timetable uncertain at this point. In Kansas City, the fears aren’t quite as scary, as the idea is that Spencer Ware has avoided an ACL injury, with only a sprained knee or a PCL injury, with clarity coming in the coming days…

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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After the Jets cut Decker on June 12th after failing to find a trading partner and option, we knew it would only be a matter of time before he landed somewhere. And here we have it, as Decker signed with Tennessee a few days ago in a contract of 1 year for $5.35 million.

Almost immediately, Decker seems to love the fit, calling his union with the Titans a “perfect storm”. I can’t help but agree.

There are a lot of things to take away from this move and how it impacts Tennessee’s offense.

First off, let’s look at the addition of Decker to this Titans offense. Decker can now finally get into an offense that features a firm QB situation at the helm with 3rd-year arm Marcus Mariota. No more are the days of receiving passes thrown by the aging Ryan Fitzpatrick or the wildly inconsistent Geno Smith, or even the possibility of Bryce Petty or Christian Hackenberg. Hell, I would rather have Tennessee’s backup in Matt Cassel over these other options currently.

Decker can fit into the offense in more ways than one, and aside from the fact that Mariota does a very good job at spreading the ball around to his guys, we can assume that Decker will find a huge role in the redzone, and more importantly, in the slot, where he played most of his snaps in during the 2016 season. Mariota was also a fantastic QB in the redzone, where Decker was very active in during the ’16 season as well. These are things to get excited about, and to focus on during the season.

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Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor aren’t the only ones getting overpaid to disappoint us this upcoming fall (More on this and much more next week when Tehol graces us with his presence on the Razzblitz podcast).  Jeremy Maclin, who was recently released by the Kansas City Chiefs, has been signed by the Baltimore Ravens to a 2-year deal that will pay him 6 million this upcoming season.  The other team involved in the sweepstakes, the Buffalo Bills, either couldn’t or wouldn’t match.

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Free agency is one of my favorite parts of football.  This is probably because my favorite team never seems to be in the playoffs so I guess it gives me a false sense of hope going into the next season.  A couple of needs get fulfilled with players that I haven’t seen play in the Buccaneer’s system and all of a sudden I can argue them into the playoffs in my head.  The Jaguars also always look like they’ve built a dangerous roster in the offseason, and then we remember by week 2 that Blake Bortles is still the quarterback.

Free agency answers a lot of questions for fantasy football as well.  Every year, the beginning of March changes the destiny of at least a few players that might be question marks in keeper leagues. Just because the player takes the biggest check doesn’t mean that they are putting themselves in the best position to put up their best possible individual numbers.  I’m going to do my best to decipher the first week of signings and trades right here.  This was a busier year than last year for the skill positions as far as I remember, so if I forget someone you wanted to read about, forgive me.  Let’s get started with one of the fastest players in football…

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