So here we are, continuing our weird no-man’s land period for fantasy football news and analysis. We’re not quite far enough into the off-season to start reviewing what just happened in 2014, and we still have one more week until the Super Bowl, so we find ourselves in this sort of weird zone, like I am with your mom. But as we get closer to Super Bowl Sunday, we might finally reach the end of the “deflate-gate”, or seeing as how ending anything “gate” seems a bit dated, we could even call it “deflate-ghazi” for a modern touch. That being said, we do get some reprieve for the first Sunday without real football this season, and that’s football where no one tries or cares, and everyone misses going to Hawaii, and where Michael Irvin gets to have a team to, I assume, help feed yet another coke binge. Also, it appears that this year, there wasthe added bonus of making it NFL’s own petri dish of experimental football where there were narrower uprights, four two-minute warnings, and no kickoffs whatsoever. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Pro Bowl. These players represent the very best of the league, that is, after you rule out the players who are injured, the players who simply didn’t want to go, and the players who are going to the Super Bowl. So yeah. We have Andy Dalton and John Kuhn. WOOOOOOOO.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, after taking a few days to wait for the dust cloud of Championship Sunday to clear, we now have our Super Bowl teams; the Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots. And of course it wouldn’t be a Patriots appearance without the inevitable “something-gate” taking place (this time, deflate-gate, which sounds like a sexual maneuver by Gronk), but I doubt this type of thing comes as a surprise. Even if it did, I doubt it was the reason the Colts lost by 98 points and couldn’t tackle. But don’t worry folks, we have two weeks for the media to fill in empty space, and while a Packers/Patriots match-up might have provided a bonanza of narratives, the Packers made sure to try as hard as they possibly could to make sure that it didn’t happen. So here we are. The Seahawks and Patriots is, at least on paper, an intriguing match-up. True, the same could be said of last year’s game, but here’s hoping for a Super Bowl that’s at least entertaining till half-time…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welp, what the refs giveth, the refs take away. Something like that. And so it goes for the Cowboys, who saw their season come to end, not with a Romonobyl, but with a whimper. After a “questionable” call in last week’s wild card game against the Lions, which the NFL spent the entire week trying to triage, the brutal karma of it all reared it’s head in the ugliest way possible: The dreaded “Calvin Johnson Rule”. For those of you unfamiliar with this rule, which get’s enforced about two times per decade, here’s the wording:
If a player goes to the ground in the act of catching a pass (with or without contact by an opponent), he must maintain control of the ball after he touches the ground, whether in the field of play or the end zone. If he loses control of the ball, and the ball touches the ground before he regains control, the pass is incomplete. If he regains control prior to the ball touching the ground, the pass is complete.
I guess you could technically rule this the correct call, but I would point out that Bryant’s elbow is down first and the play should end right there. Or just from a simple eye test (you can see a better angle after the jump), this looks like a catch. OR you could conclude that Bryant went to the ground with his feet during the process of the catch, and then proceeded to do a “football play” by diving for the end zone. But what do I know? I will say this… I’m not sure Dallas fans can gripe about bad judgement here… Rick Perry is the elected Governor of Texas after all.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s been commonplace around here to poke a bit of fun at Joe Flacco’s expense, and I have to admit, it probably starts with me. Look, I don’t actively root against the
eyebrow guy. Granted, I don’t root for him either, seeing as how it’s like rooting for a speed bump. But there is a certain something about him that really fascinates me. And that can essentially be boiled down to the the gift that keeps on giving… and that’s the process for measuring how elite Joe Flacco actually is (not just his eyebrow(s), which are too f*cking elite). Well folks, I think it’s time, once again, to go through this process once more. After a convincing win against a Steelers team that was clearly missing LeVeon Bell and any semblance of a third down defense, John Harbaugh said this after the game:
“Joe Flacco, what can you say… He’s the best quarterback in football.”
Well, first of all, don’t lead this off by asking “what can you say”. I can say a lot of things, and none of them would be what you said, John. Granted, yes, Flacco has a long history of being part of a lot of successful Ravens teams, including a Super Bowl ring and being the only quarterback in NFL history to win a playoff game in each of his first five seasons. Of course, there’s also the fact that he’s not really that good of a quarterback. But hey, when you’re just elite enough to win, who cares?
I guess I don’t. Then again, I’m now realizing that the Ravens vs. Patriots media extravaganza might be something I could have done without… been there, done that, ya know? Wait. What’s that you say? We’re going to have a Petyon Manning/Andrew Luck narrative to deal with as well?Please, blog, may I have some more?
So let me get this straight… there are three AFC North teams in the playoffs? No, I don’t care for this much AFC North in the playoffs. And I guess I should tackle the elephant in the room and mention that yes, I do know the Chargers lost. (I like bourbon more than bourbon likes me. True story, bro.) That’s okay, not every one can play in the NFC South. So yeah, now we can officially say good bye to the 2014 regular season of the National Football League. (We hardly knew ye!)
While most of us essentially closed up shop last week, today actually marks the end to Razzball’s 2014 Fantasy Football Season, and like I said the other day, we couldn’t do it with out you guys and gals. The Razzball community is numero uno, which I could translate for you if I knew French. Obviously, I don’t. I’d like to also give a special thanks to all of our contributors this season. KC (Kati), Jennifer, Andrew Nordmeier, Seth, J-FOH, Kevin Kumpf, Smokey, Nico, Tehol, malamoney (Matt), waterloo (Michael), and Ralph… great job everyone!
Be sure to join us during the offseason. We’ll be dissecting our previous rankings, projections, preseason calls, and then we’ll have the draft content, the free agency period soon there after, and before you know it, mini-camps are back and we can do this all over again. Time is a flat circle. Everything we’ve ever done or will do, we’re gonna do over and over and over again. Alright-alright-alright. Until then, Razzball is covering your favorite non-football sports for Basketball, Soccer, and Hockey.
Now, back to your regularity scheduled round-up…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Thus marks the end of Monday Night Football for the 2014 NFL Season. I can’t say it was a great catalog of games, but when your prime time competition is Sunday Night Football and Thursday Night Football, I guess finishing in the middle ain’t that bad. And while the game immediately looked like a normal Bengals effort, Andy Dalton’s pick-six at the opening of the game seemed to have no ill-effects. Well, I mean, there was the Alex Smith game plan for a while there, but that only showed us that Jeremy Hill can do interesting things, especially against one of the best defenses in the AFC (not really saying much, but there it is.) In the end, Manning continues his descent into a smarter and more robotic Chad Henne, and depending on how the playoffs go, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him retire this offseason. Or he could play one more year and effectively throw ducks for 4,000 yards and 30+ touchdowns. That forehead could do it. Just as long as January has nothing to say about it…Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know, I don’t really hate giving the lede to the NFC South, and if you’ve been spending any time here at Razzball, you know that I find this division so very… satisfying. Not in the good way, like, wow, this NFC South man, it gives the greatest head type of way. No… but to be honest, I have felt similar sensations. It’s the satisfying “oh my god, that’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, so I’ll just laugh at it and celebrate it for being the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” type of thing. But the fact remains, I don’t hate talking about it. So at what point does it become masochistic? I mean, we are talking about the day after fantasy football “Championship Week”, probably the most masochistic weekend in all of fantasy sports, so yeah, it’s going to be theme. So with the Saints losing to the Falcons, we now have a NFC South “Superbowl” with the Panthers visiting the Falcons to decide who gets the home playoff defeat. Yes, the Saints are as good as eliminated, but if I understand math correctly (I really don’t), if this game ends in a tie, the Falcons, Panthers, and Saints will all just trigger a nuclear reaction that will re-birth the universe. What a place that would be! In other Sunday news, it’s apparent the NFL wants a Patriots vs. Cowboys Superbowl, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Then again, I probably wasn’t ready for a 7-8-1 (or a 7-9) playoff team… so there’s that I guess…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, I think it’s official. From this point forward, all Thursday Night Football should be played only on Saturdays. In what could arguably be called two of the best prime time games of the season, Washington, powered by the vengeance of DeSean Jackson and Mark Sanchez’s mediocrity, was able to deal a striking blow to the Eagles playoff hopes. (While I wouldn’t be surprised at the Cowboys losing two in a row during December, nye, one could almost expect it, the odds are still not with them.) And in Santa Clara, the 49ers looked like the three-time AFC Championship game team we all knew and loved before this season… for about two quarters. Unfortunately for them, the last two quarters, they looked like something you’d normally find due east of San Francisco. Oakland, for all of you unfamiliar with California geography. And with that, the Chargers came back, 21 points down at the half, to win in overtime and keep their playoff hopes alive. So when it comes down to it, Thursday Night Football, Saturday Edition, on the NFL Network, CBS Edition (not acronymed enough to be honest) ended up being two close back-and-forth games, with one ending up in overtime, and plenty of entertainment value (touchdowns) to boot. I’d call that a successful night of football. This is it, all is lost. The world is ending…
Week 16 Rankings have been updated for today’s games for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, I’ll be honest… I’m not quite sure if what I saw last night was an okay game or a boring one. True, we are talking about a prime time game that featured a then 2-12 Titans team vs. their ultimate mirror universe nemesis, the also 2-12 Jaguars. Let’s just say if they figured out how to include both the Raiders and Buccaneers on the field at the same time (why isn’t this a thing?), I would have fainted. And while there was some subtle competency from Charile Whitehurst (perhaps trying to grab the attention of Washington) at the beginning of the game, driving 12 plays and 84 yards for a touchdown, the game kinda settled into a mix of “gee, this seems like a good time to try heroin” to “I was promised derp! Where is the derp?” So, in the end, there was a mildly entertaining game between two teams that kinda stink. Which, I guess seems fitting for the end of Thursday Night Football this year, in that, this was probably a top-5 game for them this season. Scary, I know. So… with a Jaguars win and a Titans loss, the resounding takeaway probably is: YOUR MOVE JETS.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The continuing saga of the dumpster fire (outside an abortion clinic) known as the NFC South surely has captivated all of us here at Razzball (I’m pretty sure it’s about 78% of the content I’ve been producing the last month), and, what I would expect to be the entire nation. Some men just want to watch the world burn. And we are those men. And our world are the Saints (6-8), Panthers (5-8), Falcons (5-9), and the Buccaneers (2-12). Remember, this division features three teams vying for a playoff spot and four teams vying for a top-10 draft position. That doesn’t even seem mathematically possible. So with that in mind, what’s a better prime-time event than to pair up a team from this division to go against the hapless Bears? With an immensely disappointing year, Marc Trestman, Jay Cutler, and the Bears switch from the cover two to the cover none defensive scheme have all been at the center of blame. And yet, they would have been vying for a home playoff game last night if they were in the NFC South. I’m not sure if that should make them laugh or cry. While the game started out derpy, it soon settled into an ugly and boring one-sided game. Perhaps the perfect teaser for Thursday Night Football, which features the Titans and Jaguars. Which will make me feature Jameson in my mouth. More like whiskey-boarding, amiright folks?Please, blog, may I have some more?