Is your league still going in week 17? I’m not quite sure what to make of that quite honestly. On one hand I want to denounce you and watch my chicken viciously peck at your children, and on the other hand, can I, Tehol Beddict, fantasy writer extraordinaire, really blame you for wanting to extend fantasy football another week? Fantasy football is fantastic, maybe even better than pure columbian blow(that may be going too far), but some will state it unwise that your league is set up to play when numerous teams are usually set up to play meaningless games. When I say that the games are meaningless, I mean that a few of your fantasy stud muffins may be riding the pine this week in preparation for the playoffs. Talk to your league manager about it. When I say talk, I mean take him in a dark room and stroke him/her with a couple blows to the kidneys while sporting brass knuckles. Nothing like going into a title game having to start the likes of Harry Douglas. Either way, you get another Beddict post, and being that I am the Razzball fantasy football champion, how can you not heed my advice? You almost have no choice at this point. So, no matter that I don’t agree with your league set up. Just win Baby.Please, blog, may I have some more?
What does Mike Wallace look like?!! Do I look like a bit@h? Don’t answer that question. Just read my thoughts on these selected players and get yourselves some playoff victories this week. You’re saying “What, no long, obnoxious intro this week?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let me start out by welcoming my loving, beautiful, adoring readers to the playoffs. If you didn’t make the playoffs you must just be reading for two possible reasons: 1) You want to hear how my pet chicken is doing or 2) You get off on reading borderline hateful, extremely spiteful, condescending rhetoric.Please, blog, may I have some more?
First and foremost I’d like to say Happy Thanksgiving to all of my readers. I hope the folks that don’t read my articles, even when I spam their facebook and emails with them, had something horrific happen to them. Like say, maybe trying to deep fry a turkey for the first time, and burning down their home or getting beaten by their wife, or you know, something of that nature.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Does anyone remember those obnoxious “Big Johson” shirts? You know, the ones that featured classic slogans like “Close your eyes and stick it in,” “Rode em! Rammed em! Wrecked em!” and my personal favorite “Cocked, pumped, and ready to blow.” I assumed incorrectly that they halted production, and was rocked hard when I witnessed their website showing many new designs and a partnership with legendary weirdo, Ted Nugent.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, last week I promised a 90210 flavored post. My female readers have gone as far as to offer me fellatio to get this done and trust me, I’m working on it. Then again, offers such as fellatio, sometimes aren’t’ enough.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In stature he may be, but the kid has the endowment to go deeper than Mandingo off three thirty bombs of cialis. The ineptness of Justin Blackmon, who was taken 5th overall in this year’s draft, is sickening, and let’s be real; Did we really expect free agent signee Laurent Robinson, to come close to matching last season’s totals?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Every so often, something so astounding occurs, that is changes the world forever. I was surfing ESPN today and I viewed a word that I’ve never witnessed on any sports site: Brothel. So it turns out that a semi-pro soccer team has turned to a few local whore houses for sponsorship and after digesting this article I came to one solid conclusion: It’s about damn time.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Right out the gate, please allow me to apologize for the Jerome Simpson hype. I’d heard nothing but great things out of the Vikings camp from my inside sources and he looked fantastic in his first contest back from suspension. I obviously had no clue the man had spina bifida.Please, blog, may I have some more?