So, as you may know, or not know, and for those of you who do not know what I know that you know about what we both don’t know… uh, my computer just turned off. But, as I was saying,while having a stroke I guess, I don’t like calling myself an “expert”. Unless we are talking about browsing Redtube.com. I can do that for days. But in terms of fantasy sports, I prefer to just call myself a “writer”. A glorious and complicated descriptor, I’m sure. I have to say though, there are fantasy football experts out there, they do exist. How do I know this? Because that’s what they call themselves, and that’s okay! It’s not like they give degrees out for this stuff (though, they really should have so I would have payed a lot more attention in college…), so it is what it is. And this season, I was invited to take part in an experts league, (which I’m sure will be a surprise if you don’t read post title’s), called “The Fantasy Legends League“. Surprise! And how did your very own Jay do? Follow me after the jump to find out!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I hath arrived, my children! Wait, where are the doves? I told you I wanted to come back to the releasing of doves like I was on a John Woo set, Jay, and all I see are bread crumbs and a bunch of pigeons. I get it, we’re a little more low budget here than the Razzball Baseball side of things but it’s bad enough you couldn’t take the brown M&M’s out of the bowl before taking them to my trailer. And speaking of trailer, where did this rust bucket come from? Like, did you buy this off some yokel from West Virginia? Smells like someone’s been cooking meth in here…but I guess I’m already on set so enough with the complaining. Though I DO expect at least a cheese plate at this point, thank you very much. Anyways, the last time I was around these parts, I was saying my sad and tearful goodbyes as the lead writer over here but did promise I’d be back in the Fall. Well, if you can have Christmas in July, why can’t you have Fall there too, right? And while we’re on the topic, this is a shout out to my family members that always ask why I’m not coming to see you in the dead of winter. Oh, I don’t know, because you live in a snowy part of Idaho and want me to drive 9 hours during the worst time of the year to travel to do it? I can say Merry Xmas over the phone. Heck, we could even Skype if you really wanna see my scruffy mug. Next year, we’re all having Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years over a vacation week in the middle of July. That way the only car wrecks will happen in the parking lot when Grandma tries to drive and get yet another 5th of Jack. Heart you, Grandma…but enough of this, you don’t even know what a Scott Fish Bowl is and we’re over 300 words in so lets get started. Here’s my Scott Fish Bowl team for the 2014 Fantasy Football season…

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Every story is told through only one set of eyes. I mean, I could talk to you like I was our league champion @Chad_Scott13 and how I played my way to a championship. Yeah, that’d be nice. I could talk about all the great players that led me to the gold and how my huge pecs glisten in the sun as I lay on the white, sandy beaches off the coast of the Caribbean while watching a topless volleyball tournament unfold and the winning team gets to kiss the freshly inked @DangeRussWilson tattoo on my nether regions. And they say RW3 isn’t 6′…but alas, I can’t live that life and have to talk about my team. So here’s a look at what went right, what went wrong, and what hung slightly to the left in my Razzball Experts League team for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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So here’s my final go in another Expert League. Scott Pianowski must really like my money the way I play this game as it’s the second league I’ll be in with hm. I covered the first one here. I drafted before the Baseball All-Star break then. For the most part, this league is similar in set up except that it’s a 12 teamer rather than a 14. I do also think there are some similar owners but, hey, that would require me to pay attention to other owners. Neverthewho, here’s results for my last draft for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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I apologize if my tone and voice change by the time you read this whole piece. I’m writing this here lead paragraph before this league has even drafted because I’m gonna link to all these Fantasy Football peeps via their twitter handles. Seeing as I don’t do much advertising of who I follow in the tweety world, consider this a small dosing of it. If all goes well, I’ll keep this bubbly persona throughout but if I have a draft disaster – or a draftaster if you will – I might go full Eeyore up in this mo’fo. But before I go from smug jerk to morose jackass, let’s cover who all was in this little draft of ours.

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So I need to air something with you here from the get go: this was waaaaayyyy too early to be drafting. We held this on July 10th which is a good two months from real kick-off. I highly encourage you to never get that far from the start of the season. Too much can happen between now and game one of the year. We don’t know who’s hobbled other than guys with off-season surgery. I mean, first pre-season snap hasn’t even been made and we’re out here drafting like we know what’s what and in a deep league, no less. And yes, this is a deep league to an extent. It’s one thing to have 14 teams, it’s entirely another to have the standard set up plus 3 flex positions on top of them in said 14 team. Oh and one of the flex spots has a QB just to add to the fun. But enough of the blather, here’s my team for the ‘American League’ 14 team Auction draft for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?