Look, it’s your fault. You’re playing through to week 17 as your championship. No one put a gun to your head to make it that way. You went into your options, selected weeks 15 through 17 as your playoffs so now you get to talk about backups that no one has talked about all year. Well ok, we’ve talked about Christine Michael in passing. He had a strong preseason for the Seahawks but we all knew the story would end there. Seattle is Beastmode country and we all know it. But what happens if the Seahawks lock up home field advantage through the rest of the NFC playoffs this Sunday? What are they playing for in week 17? I mean, I get that it’s at home and they’ll want to keep that pristine home record intact but are they really gonna roll RW3 and company out there for abuse in a game that doesn’t matter much all day? I’m gonna have to say what my magic 8 ball says when I ask if I’ll become a famous hand model: unlikely…you’ve got a couple of hammer fingers…and why don’t you clean your nails? My Magic 8 Ball gets a bit personal sometimes…but nevermind all that, we’re here to talk about Christine. I have a hard time believing Turbin gets to run the show. He’s still too important for the playoff run to put him out there too much and so in steps Michael. Though it’s hard enough to predict the future in weekly rankings, I’m here trying to predict how a team will do in two weeks and whether or not they’ll even run their starters out on the field so give me some slack if this don’t work, y’all. Given that the Rams are in the bottom five for points against from opposing RBs, Christine is set up for a nice day if he finds the field. And if he goes off, we’ll have to spend the rest of the off-season hearing about him going in the 2nd or 3rd round in 2014. Joy. But let’s finish this show off. Here’s the rest of the ideas I’ve got brewing for week 17 of this crazy 2013 Fantasy Football season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
So maybe we got off on the wrong foot last week. I can’t take all the blame, of course. You’re the one who said you had a third leg because you put a sock on your woo-ha. That’s the wrong foot with me every day of the week. But what I mean by this is explaining what the funk ‘Thinking Forward’ means. You’re in the playoffs so your lineup is already pretty good and so is your bench, most likely. So all I’m trying to do is give you some ideas on future week pickups because you’ve already got your lineup set for this week and since this is the time I’d normally be telling you to buy/sell for trade purposes, I figured I might as well tell you what you can tuck away for the following week instead. Ahem, I did say tuck it. Couldja do so with said foot apparel right now? It’s distracting…but now that we’ve got the premise set up, let’s take a giant leap forward into week 16. For all intents and purposes, the Colts aren’t really playing for much down the stretch besides maybe trying to figure out how they can be 8-5 with such a terrible team on hand. Oh wait, they play in the same division as the Jaguars, Texans and Titans and are 4-0 within it. Yeah, that’ll do it. I don’t know how they won earlier in the year vs the 49ers, Seahawks and Broncos given the team we’ve seen over the last 5 weeks. And before you get angry, Colts fans, this team’s point differential on the year is -3…yes, they’ve scored three less points than their opponents as a whole on the year and still have 8 wins to show for it. That’s a fishy line if I’ve ever smelled one. That’s just your upper lip! I told you, Colts fans, don’t be angry. Just realize there are 5 teams in the plus as of this typing that might not make the playoffs and be thankful. All this to say, I don’t think the Chiefs are gonna have a tough week with Indy at home and think Knile Davis will have himself a solid fantasy day. The Chiefs are the second best team in the AFC right now by record and the only way that even matters in terms of seeding is if Denver reels off 2 losses in the last 3 weeks and KC wins out, which makes it all the more likely we won’t see a huge amount of the starters in the game for the Chiefs on week 16 Sunday. Am I telling you to be scared to start Jamaal Charles? Hells to the no, children. But I do think Davis has a sneaky shot at reproducing his week 14 line or better: 47 total yards on 12 touches and a TD. Sure, its flexy sexy but nothing great but you never know when injuries might strike. Just ask AP owners. If your main RB goes down week 15 and you still manage to make the Shiva Bowl, having Knile on speed dial is a nice consolation prize in my book. And with that, let’s move on. Here are some other suggestions for week 16 pick ups for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, he ain’t from down in Louisiana close to New Orleans. Then again, he might be. Didn’t read the bio. This is fantasy, not A Football Life. We don’t care if Jacoby Jones is from near Lake Titicaca, we just care that he has an awesome Sunday for us. Or Monday. Or sometimes Thursday. Anyone think we’ll eventually just have football on 7 days a week? I think they’ve expanded college football to pretty much every day but Tuesday and Wednesday at this point. Not that I’m complaining, of course, just wanted to know I’m not the only one seeing this trend. Speaking of trends, sometimes they’re your friend. Well, not the kind you can borrow money from or go to the bar with but a friend nonetheless. The trend I speak of is the Detroit Lions secondary and how it just loves to give up points to secondary receivers for teams. Let’s ignore Green Bay’s passing debacle and look back at a few secondary receivers who’ve benefited from facing the Lions in the last few weeks. Week 12 saw Tiquan Underwood drop a 3/108/2 line on them. Week 11 saw a healthy line of 3/48/1 from Cotchery. Week 9 saw a 2/64/1 line from Terrance Williams of the Cowboys. Ok, with all this good can we stamp him as a must play for week 15? Nah, of course not. But your team needs force you into strange positions sometimes. Hopefully not the lotus blossom…fantasy football isn’t THAT kind of fantasy. But if you need a nice gamble at flex or WR3 for week 15, Jones could be the Jacoby of all trades for you. Hrm, or free agent pickups I guess. But that doesn’t flow off the wordpress tongue quite as well. But enough about tongues, strange positions and Underwood, let’s move along and see who else is a good pick up for week 15 of 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, you finally made it. Or you kinda made it. Still a week left and anything can happen until you get that asterisk next to your team name and unlike Barry Bonds, getting that asterisk next to it is a good thing. This is gonna be a potpourri post of sorts and by that I don’t mean it’s gonna smell like the insert in a Good Housekeeping magazine. I’m gonna touch on a few strategies as best I can. Unlike other Fantasy Football machine-driven sites, I’m the hard drive, the mother brain, the encrypted file to this whole Razzball rankings game we got going on. Which also leads me down paths some would fear to tread some weeks. I have my moments of striking gold but also moments of hitting my neighbor’s sewage pipe so let’s not freak too much the funk out if you disagree with my musings. But this is a DST post to end all DST posts so let’s not dawdle about. Here’s some playoff strategies for your playoff run for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels weird making Montell Owens a suggestion. I mean, he’s been the starter for Jacksonville for the last couple of weeks, there are no signs we see Maurice Jones-Drew at any point for the rest of the season and Rashad Jennings has done nothing to prove he deserves more than a bit role when he fully recovers from his concussion. However, facts are facts. Montell is still owned in only 27% of yahoo leagues and only 11% over at ESPN and I’ve never seen a starting RB I didn’t like. Well, there’s Michael Turner but that’s for an entirely different post. What I see is a flex play in a playoff week where anything goes. The studs that got you to week 16 could be sitting in week 17. I remember the one year I played the championship in week 17 because I accidentally didn’t set it correctly for week 16 before the season started. I won because I picked up the 43 yards, 4 receptions and the touchdown Jerheme Urban brought to the table that week. Don’t know who that is? Good, you shouldn’t. Welcome to what David Bowie no doubt was singing about. Week 17 is all about the guys who don’t start typically but are going to get the snaps to prove they should at least make the team’s practice squad the next year. So with that, let’s take a look at just a few more week 17 heroes for 2012 fantasy football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
So as the season winds down I slowly lose my mind. Nowhere is this more evident than in me referencing a Grease song. I haven’t even seen the dang thing and, no, I don’t have to. There are only two musicals I’ll subject myself to. One is Rocky Horror Picture Show and the other is Little Shop of Horrors. Steve Martin as a rebellious, jet black-haired, sadistic dentist who talks like Elvis and rides a motorcycle…ok, that looks weird in type but I swear it’s good…or maybe you just had to be there. Now bear with me as I try and get you revved up about a guy who has 7 carries and 31 yards on the season who, coincidentally, just got all those numbers in week 14. Of course I’m talking about none other than DuJuan Harris, the recent signee of the Green Bay Packers. First off, this is not a call that Alex Green will lose his starting job. As my Bilal Powell pick a couple of weeks ago proved, you don’t have to be the starter to rack up the fantasy points you just have to have the right matchup and the right set up. Secondly, to all those who say this could very well be a all for Ryan Grant, I’m not going to argue with you. I’ll simply say he had 1 carry last week to Harris’ 7. Grant might be relied on in the playoffs but I think they’re going to see what they have in their younger tandem first to round out the year and a matchup against the Titans in week 16 should give Harris a great chance to to be flex-worthy during a week in which plenty of good RBs have some tough matchups. As always, a thinking forward piece is all about needs and I’m presenting you a potential upside play who – if he gets 10 or more carries vs the Bears in the coming weekend – might get on the radar of more people than you’d like. Moreover, if Green Bay wins week 15, they’ll be in the driver’s seat for their division which could lead to more open shot for backups to get in. To quote Morpheus, Harris is DuJuan. In other 2012 fantasy football pickups for week 16…
Louis Murphy - I would be typing about Brandon LaFell here if he weren’t hurt (how’s that for a hedge?) but instead I’ll point out Murphy’s line against a tough Falcons secondary in week 14: 9 targets for 5 receptions and 36 yards…hrm, that’s not all too exciting. But what IS exciting is Cam and company facing off against a Raiders team that has given up less than 20 points only once this season and that was to a team just as sad as they are in the Chiefs. Again, I have no idea what injuries you’re dealing with or how deep your league is but since Louis is virtually unowned everywhere, he’s worth pointing out for a week 16 matchup if LaFell is a no go.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Get it? Andrew Hawkins? Hawkin’? Eagles? So much pun, so little time. The truth of the matter is it’s playoff time and we all know you’re most likely a strong enough team or else you wouldn’t be here. But injuries can always happen. It’s why I carry around a first aid kit where ever I go and have learned to make splints out of those umbrella sticks found in mojitos. When I come to a bar, I come prepared! Just ask the Eagles if you don’t believe that injuries can strike at any time. Michael Vick has been singing that Foreigner song since about week 10 and looks to be out for the rest of the season while Bryce Brown has show more LeSean than LeSean since McCoy got his bell rung week 11. Injuries can change a team quickly so as you prep for your first week of the playoffs – or if you’re a really eager consolation bracket player – its time we look at some great week 15 plays that could pay huge dividends but are probably not much of a concern for week 14. With the season ending injury to Mohamed Sanu declared this week, the person who gets sloppy WR seconds from AJ Green should fall to the small, speedy Andrew against an Eagles secondary that hasn’t given up less than 300 yards passing in its last two games through the air and have been atrocious in general against the pass since they fired ‘the problem’ over the bye week in defensive coordinator Juan Castillo. I think the Eagles have 99 problems but the defensive coach ain’t Juan and it shows.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t blame Fireman Ed for walking away disgustipated with his Jets. It’s hard to stay upbeat and ready to support your team after such a performance. By now, we’ve all learned that Mark Sanchez is a big Sir Mix-A-Lot fan with his unholy gravitational pull towards Moore’s backside. But for fantasy purposes and for nearly as much humor we were treated to another important chuck fumble care of Shonn Greene. Is this image even physically possible if Greene were carrying the ball even halfway securely? I’d think I had stumbled upon an odd kick formation if I didn’t know any better. But why does all this matter to you or even Fireman Ed for that matter? Because Bilal Powell scored one of the two Jets touchdowns on that ugly night. He also scored two the week prior and after that fumble by Shonn, it was clear the Jets weren’t entrusting him with the ball in any situation that they couldn’t bare to turn it over. Though Powell isn’t going to wow you – he plays for the Jets this year, cut him some slack – he is rosterable for a matchup against the team that gives up the 5th most fantasy points to opposing backs in the Jaguars during week 14. You can never promise a touchdown but you can almost promise after the last two weeks that Bilal is the goal line guy in New York and has averaged about 56 total yards per game during that span. Not tempting enough for you? Well, lets look at Michael Turner. He’s averaging 62 yards per game total over 11 games this year is good for a touchdown about every other game and is 100% owned in ESPN leagues while Bilal is owned in less than 2%. Yes, you can find a Turner type player on waivers and the playoffs are around the corner. So pick him up if you need him. Or pick him up because someone else in your league needs him and send this video via email with the subject line ‘I HAVE THE POWELL!’. Cuz it’s fun to be a jerk sometimes. In other 2012 fantasy football news for week 14…
Jacoby Jones - Boom or bust play call here but I liked how involved Jacoby was in the San Diego game and his targets over the last 3 have seen a steady uptick of late (3, 4, 7). Against a porous Redskins secondary, Jones could really shine. Plus, Jacoby Jones is just a cool name. If your bench can’t be useful, at least you can impress a hipster.Please, blog, may I have some more?
With the majority of trade deadlines closing last week, I thought it best to move on to a subject we all know is important but sometimes we have a hard time looking beyond the week at hand. With thinking forward, I’m going to do my best to pander to those who are playoff bound and may have room on their bench to look beyond the week at hand. Some of it will be grabbing the player who will be virtually ignored until he or she – hey, it could happen some day people - does something this week. Others will be a wait and see call. And others will be a look at those who have good matchups who could perform the following week and are a good stash for the time being. So without further ado, let’s put on our x-ray glasses – you know, those kind that help you see into the future – and see what we can see for beyond week 12 for 2012 fantasy football…
Knowshon Moreno - I don’t even have to look at your league. If it’s competitive enough, Ronnie Hillman will gone as you read this as the top replacement for Willis McGehee in Denver after he went down. Lance Ball also got a few carries so he’ll probably be an early morning/waiver nab too but I simply want to bring up the guy who’s going virtually ignored everywhere. Now this is a grab and watch play. If he does nothing this weekend, toss him back on the heap like all the other FA trash out there and be done with him. You could might find a fantasy diamond in the rough or you might get cubic zirconia but he’s worth a kick of the tires at this point and it won’t feel like a kick in the ‘A’ to grab him right now.Please, blog, may I have some more?