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Greetings! Well, well, well, what has the doctor pulled out of musty pudenda of FantasyPros, but yet another Lord Beddict top-five finish. I do this not to gloat (NEVER!), but to enlighten you to the fact that this is all not just some game to me. I take the NFL more seriously than I now take the risk of getting and/or giving STD’s, and if you’ve witnessed my unsheathed rapier, then certainly you’d know that it’s first coated in layer of hand sanitizer, then swaddled with saran wrap, fitted in sausage casing, followed by a bubble wrapping and a blue whale magnum, all before crevice entry. But, honestly, I have loved this sport immensely for more years than I care to count, and as my hair greys and my forehead wrinkles, it gives me some (very little) peace of mind knowing that my brobdingnagian love of the sport finally paid some dividend in my life. And to think, I’ve been waking up in cold sweats in the middle of a nightmare where I’m just falling into nothing, screaming at the top of my lungs in terror, asking myself why I’ve wasted so many hours of my life on this meaningless shit. Waking up to text my therapist, begging her to help me find some purpose in this life before being hit by a semi-truck on my five thousand dollar bike or having my penis and scrotum ripped to many, many, large pieces by a great white shark. But it seems all those what I thought were useless hours, I could have spent focusing on my real job, saving relationships or just living a decent life, actually paid off in a major way. What a time to be alive.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight. Take Heed!!!

 

 

Players T.B. thinks will rise like a zombie hoard in Week 11

Kirk Cousins – If you only watched one game in your entire life, and it happened to be last week’s Packers/Titans game, one would assume that the Titans receiving weapons were the greatest in NFL history. Now, peep game for a minute right quick; The Redskins Potatoes have DeSean Jackson coming back this week to join a rock solid Pierre Garcon, and an emerging Jamison Crowder to go along with the most explosive tight end duo in the NFL, so you, my goodmen, tell me what happens in this upcoming Sunday Night Football game. Prognosticate for daddy, for anyone that has the cajones to tell you Cousins isn’t a top-eight option this week deserves a stint in my basement and a week long diet of tube steak and RC Cola. Oh, I know YOU LIKE THAT!

Cam Newton – Oh when the Saints go marching in. When the Saints go marching in. Oh Lord, I want to start that opposing quarterback in fantasy football. When the Saints go marching in. Sorry for that. That was lame. Anyway, I got THIS song on repeat all week and you can expect Killa Cam to continue treating the Saints like the Democratic party treated Bernie Sanders. Get on your knees and tell me you love me.

James Starks – I really HATE to dog any analyst, but there were many out there proclaiming that Ty Montgomery was startable in fantasy football when I’ve been DEMANDING that you heed my words in regards to Starks taking back over when healthy. You think they paid home slice three milly to knead that dough boy, Eddie Lacy’s buttocks? Have you actually witnessed Monty do ANYTHING of any real value? I swear on the Elder Gods’s honor, it’s like some of these “experts” are drawing straws out of hat. It’s time I really starting roasting these weenies and I’m not talking camping with your ugly ass kids, b. Salute me or shoot me… Sorry, I started slipping into G-mode there. Watched Malibu’s Most Wanted two hundred many times. My deepest apologies.

Kenneth Dixon – I’m finally on board the Dixon train and I’m paying for that season’s pass. I give Terrance West a standing ovation every Sunday for his effort, for it looks as if he’s shot out of a cannon on every play…yet, somehow, the man averages below four yards an attempt and only has 12 reception on the season. Dixon, on the other hand, is finally healthy, averaged 6.3 YPC last week and had five receptions. If the Ravens coaching staff contains any intellect whatsoever, and I believe they do, they will continue to up his workload on a weekly basis. That is, if they want to be a contender, which I believe they will be. Hopefully they witnessed C.J. Prosise DESTROY the New England Patriots, which I believe they… SORRY! I believe that I’ve reached the limit of how many times I can type, “which I believe” in a paragraph. Are these even considered paragraphs? Or are these blurbs. I just don’t know anymore. Moving on.

Robert Woods – My man! Just when I totally lost faith in this former USC savage, he went green eggs and HAM on my Seattle defense. Did the Bills finally realize he’s the only receiver of any value on their roster or did Woods look himself in the mirror and remember that he had balls the size of grapefruits? Maybe we’ll read about in his tell all autobiography after he’s been inducted into the hall of fame. With many valuable wideouts on a bye this week, and chumps like Alshon Jefferey going down with PED suspensions, I’m willing to risk my season on Woods dropping another gem for us. In Tygod we trust.

Terrelle Pryor – Pryor is seemingly on my list every week, but, did you see Dez Bryant smoking that pathetic Steelers secondary like Snoop Dogg on 4/20? Pryor is about to get ten million a season, and deservedly so. Witness.

Martellus Bennett – With Gronk having his soul split in half by Earl Thomas, Bennett will once again be a primary target of Tom Brady’s against a porous 49ers defense. Anyone else want to see a Patriots major motion picture made with Christian Slater starring as Tom Brady? I’m starting the script tonight.

 

Players T.B. believes will disappoint us with sub-par play in Week 11: 

Carson Palmer – Remember just last year when Carson was up there with Cam Newton for MVP of the league? Now, he’s looking like a decrepit roach, destroying his self-worth like he was Anthony Weiner on a Saturday night locked in his office with nothing but a bottle of cocoa butter and a cell phone. The Vikings defense is still not to be trifled with, so I’d look at other options if I were you. But I were you, then you’d be me, and you could use my body to change this paragraph and talk yourself into starting him, so, please, think before you act.

Blake Bortles – That pick-six Bortles threw against the Texans was one of the worst I’ve ever witnessed in my lifetime. He just doesn’t have it this year. Detroit is 18th in pass defense, so it’s not like they’re anywhere approaching elite but this is more of a knock on Bortles in general, plus it’s a road game. Plus Gus Bradley is the worst coach in the NFL. Plus Bortles is garbage. You’ve got to be realistic about these things.

James White – How about getting Dion Lewis involved this week in what should be a fairly easy matchup against the 49ers. I know a lot of you have liked White since the Pats drafted him, but, he’s simply an average football player. Compare what Lewis did last year in White’s role and you’d probably wish you were wearing depends. It’s time to move on.

Tim Hightower – Ingram is back to being the lead back like some of us expected and Hightower is simply a backup, who will be lucky to get 10 touches in what is a must win game against Carolina. Brees will need to throw for 400 plus to win this game, and I believe he will do just that. Plant Timothy on your bench, or better yet, drop that ass.

Ty Montgomery – I believe I went over this already.

Torrey Smith – When I was typing up my notes, Smith somehow autocorrected to “Satan”, which somehow fit so perfectly for what Torrey has meant to his fantasy owners in 2016….and 2015 for that matter. It is truly mind blowing how useless this man is in San Francisco. I was once a fan and will simply wait till he’s on another team next season that is willing to utilize Smith’s talents. SAD!

C.J. Fiedorowicz  – Brock Osweiller is the Texans starting quarterback.

 

Thank you for joining me for another edition of Disgrace/Delight. It continues to be an honor to answer your questions in the section below. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, say that he loves his readers. Truly. Honestly. Let’s chat later.

  1. Captain crunch says:
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    Howdy sir!

    .5 ppr league

    With Gordon on bye I’m forced to start Jeremy hill at RB2 , David Johnson is my RB1.

    Thoughts on how I have my 3 starting WRs
    WR1: Dez Bryant
    WR2: Doug Baldwin
    WR3: moncrief

    Flex: Deandre Hopkins

    TE: Rudolph

    Bench: Witten, sanders (bye), hogan, Shepard, Gordon (bye), andre Ellington (DJ cuff), farrow (Gordon cuff), Bibbs bye,

    Watkins IR

    Based on my team hold onto or drop Bibbs? If I drop Bibbs looking at Dwayne Washington

    Also next based on my team hold or drop hogan? Available players Robert woods, Taylor Gabriel, davante Parker, desean Jackson, Eli Rogers, Michael Floyd, marqise lee, Cruz, Seth Roberts, Jeremy kerely

    Thoughts on my TE situation? I don’t like Rudolph this week, available TEs Pitta, Fiedorowicz, lance kendricks, Dwayne Allen, julius Thomas, Clive Walford

    I need to break my losing streak , thanks again!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Captain crunch: I would drop Hogan without question. No way he gives consistent production. Woods is most solid option there. Parker has most upside. So I’d go between those two.

      Bobby’s is fairly useless but at least he great handcuff. Washington has shown he’s not really a good option even When Murray is hurt so I’d hold there I suppose

      Thanks for stopping by buddy

      • Captain crunch says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        Thanks man! I was referring to Dwayne Washington on Detroit, I think you thought I meant Deandre.

        If I do drop Bibbs available RBs are Dwayne Washington (lions), c-west, Deandre Washington (raiders), Duke Johnson was just dropped he will clear waivers by Friday, Derrick Henry (clears waivers on Friday), Alf Morris, Damien Williams besides that it’s very slim pickings

        Would you look to trade my Jeremy hill for CJ prosise? Or hold there?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Captain crunch: oh, in that case I have even less interest. LMAOOOOO I’d rather have Duke then them. I’m holding Hill as I think he’s fine and could go off

  2. Wilsonian says:
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    Lost Jeffery and the rest of my team is on BYE, so I need a WR3 desperately (seriously, Julio Jones and Tyrell Williams picked a great time to go on BYE with Jeffery’s dumbass PEDing it up). I currently have Benjamin, Adams and Tyreek Hill as my WRs.

    Would you dump Hill for Meredith, Garcon, Woods, or Parker?

    0.5 PPR – 3 point bonus at 85 yards receiving – 6 point bonus at 135 yards receiving – 6 points per TD

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Wilsonian: I’m in the same exact spot man!!! ughhh. I’ve been going back and forth but ended with Hill. I believe i was trying to get Meredith tho which sucks and I missed out on Woods as well. I like both Meredith and Woods this week with a lean on Woods possibly as the Bengals are 28th against the pass. Meredith has more upside tho and Cutler may feed him.

      • Wilsonian says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I grabbed Woods but the others are still out there. Stick with Woods? I need a miracle win this week after a big loss last week and playing the guy I’m tied with for second place this week.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Wilsonian: that’s what I would do unless you have another bum u can drop for Meredith which is what my opponent just did

  3. Cram It says:
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    Do you know of any resource that shows how many fantasy points an offense yields to defenses? Ya know, like defenses are averaging 8.5 points against Jacksonville’s offense. I’ve been able to find ZERO information regarding this.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Cram It: hmmmmm,good question. i’m sure it’s out there somewhere. I’m going to ask my stat guy and get back to you, Crammer

        • Brian says:
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          @Cram It:
          I believe Yahoo! has this…I may be crazy though, I can’t understand the wording.

          On their “Research” tab, there is a Fantasy Points Against option. Sort by DEF, then All NFL Teams, and then by “Pts Against.” This shows, for example “New England Patriots vs. DEF 4.44” I believe this means all defenses average 4.4 points vs New England

          I don’t know how to upload a screenshot to show you, so hopefully someone else will see this and be smarter than me.

          • Cram It says:
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            @Brian: That sounds about right. I actually was able to find that Fantasypros has a pretty granular breakdown of Fantasy Points Allowed by position, under their research tab. But it’s only for weeks 1-10

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Halp: awesome. Thanks bruh! Glad u enjoyed

  4. RePete says:
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    Where would you rank Antonio Gates at TE for the rest of the season? I’ve been streaming my TE and with his bye this week I have to decide to drop him for another TE or hold and find someone else to drop.

    QB – Luck
    RB – Ware, Martin, Booker, Bernard, Coleman, Lewis
    WR – Beckham, Bryant, Adams, Moncrief, Watkins
    TE – Gates

    FA TE: Miller, Fiedorowicz, Witten, L. Green

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @RePete: well shoot he looked good last week! Looked like he was totally falling off before that which is concerning but he’s such a legend. ive been holding watkins also which seems like total waste of time at this point and am wondering why im doing so. you also will never use Dion Lewis. pretty postive about that. Green is playing Browns who give up 80 yards a game to opposing tight ends. id take a look there

  5. Scott says:
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    Fear not, Lord Tehol! Know that you have brought joy to us, the peasants of Razzball Nation. Your life has not been in vain!

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Scott: Scottie too hottie!!!!!! Thank you, my good man. I just stepped back from the ledge

  6. a bag of sand says:
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    Give J Hill for B Cooks?
    Non ppr for my flex spot
    Have David Johnson, L Murray, Hilton and AJ Green

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @a bag of sand: I’d so so yea. your name reminds me of what tits feel like

  7. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    Do you prefer dingleberries from my sack on my crack?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: did u mean “or your crack”? U have dingleberries on ur sack? Is that from butt plugging ur wife or bob down at the corner bar?

      • Ralph Lifshitz

        Ralph Lifshitz says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I like to keep my balls hairy..

        F-ing auto correct ruins so many good jokes….don’t text and drive.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Ralph Lifshitz: use voice text you old FUk bag

          • Ralph Lifshitz

            Ralph Lifshitz says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: That shizz is worse unless I use a robot voice.

            • Tehol Beddict

              Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Ralph Lifshitz: to be honest I’m only responding to this to get the extra comment.

  8. Matt says:
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    I have Carson in a keeper league, and Cousins just became available on the waiver. Which QB is better for the rest of the season? Beyond this season?

    Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Matt: I have both of them. Palmer has a much better schedule AFTER this week in my opinion so I’d stick with that but obviously Cousins much younger so long term he’s a better option . But Palmer could easily still be better next year

      • Matt says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thanks yeah i looked at the schedule and agree. Before this season Palmer has been outstanding but this year the powers that be jacked with the QB scoring. We carry up to 3 QB’s and Brees and Kap are my other 2. Kap has out scored Palmer in half as many games. It’s alarming but I hate to drop a quality QB with so many good WR to throw to. I think Johnson has hurt his #’s too obviously, but I have him too so it’s ok.

        • Tehol Beddict

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Matt: Yep. Palmer’s late matchups are money tho so we could be in for a creamy delight

  9. Dave says:
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    Lord Tehol, Please pick two (in a PPR) out of Prosise, Starks, and Pierre Garcon against those shitty Packers. My season depends on it

    Thank you, fellow Tygod lover

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Dave: starks and prosise is what im rollin wit so that’s what we doing! WE SHALL OVERCOME

  10. Quimmy says:
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    12 Team PPR. Was offered his BMarsh for my Crabtree. Bye week not a factor. Thoughts and thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Quimmy: i think its worth it. i would do this for shizz

  11. the imp says:
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    In 12 team PPR with 1Q (6pt passing TDs)/2R/3W/no flex I’m holding
    Eli
    DavidJ/Shady/Jstew/Gio
    Hilton/Crabby/Edelman/JMatt/Meredith
    Eifert

    Who would be your last man on the bench?
    Meredith (currently…though an accident of bye week broski followed by Jefferey PED)
    Winston
    Palmer
    Ellington (to cuff Johnson, GIllislee is owned)

    Thanks for taking heed.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @the imp: IMP!!!! I’ll always heed you. probably just cut Winston. why hold 3 quarterbacks. absolutely no point. if not just chop Ellington. always appreciate you sir

      • The imp says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: oops asked my question awkwardly. Instead of cut 1, it is a question of keeping one. So roster Palmer or Meredith (eliminating the two cuts you mentioned)?

        Thanks

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @The imp: Meredith it is!

  12. Bluety says:
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    Offered J. Nelson and D. Lewis for F. Gore and M. Thomas. Its a PPR after the 3rd rec. Thanks
    I have Brees-QB
    Gurley-RB
    McCoy-RB
    Brown-WR
    M. Thomas-WR
    F. Gore-Flex

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bluety: nelson side without question

  13. DT says:
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    LOOOOOOOOOOOORD.

    rest of schedule, who do you like best of the following 3: Brandon Marshall, Frank Gore, or Doug Martin?

    I ask because i’m thinking of trading my Marshall for another guy’s Doug Martin? You think Marshall will come around? Mighty Mouse has a favorable schedule rest of the way.

    team is as follows in 12 team 2 flex PPR league….

    QB: Brees, Tyrod
    RB: Latavius, Booker, Tevin, Dion Lewis
    WR: Marshall, Crowder, Cooks, Diggs, Garcon,Tyrell, Watkins
    TE: Pitta

    appreciate your thoughts!

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @DT: DT, my boi! interesting question, my good man. I like Marshall more than most but you should ok at receiver after the trade. would solidify the runnin back spot

  14. Shark says:
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    Christian Slater playing Tom Brady would be like Tom Cruise playing Jack Reacher. Wait…Jack Reacher is not a real person…wait…neither is Tom Cruise!

    Fantasy football question: Meredith or Zach Miller for a PPR flex spot?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Shark: LMFAOOOOOO. Meredith without question for me.

  15. Nick says:
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    Thinking dump Britt in my 10 team & plug in T Hill this week since Maclin will be out…sound good? I just grabbed Britt last week for plug in anyway…

    • Nick says:
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      @Nick: actually I forgot I have Maclin to drop, that’s an easy decision, sick of him

      • Tehol Beddict

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Nick: aaaaahkay

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nick: yep, im ok with it. I’m so desperate I’m starting them both LMAO. Britt still safer option in my opinion but Reek has more upside

      • Nick says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: im so desperate at wideout but sitting in first at 7-3 (tight standings tho)…I have D Adams, Snead & T Hill in now with Britt & M Jones Jr on bench…you feeling any of those bench guys over current starters?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Nick: is it too late to say I would have benched Snead…..

  16. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Tehol. Who do you like ros at TE out of: Ertz, Ladarius Green and Hunter Henry? Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Jerry: Hi J-bone. I’m going Green this week as Browns are as bad as there is against opposing tight ends. nice game to get him in the mix full time here. YUUUUUGE

  17. William Trill Cauley- Stein says:
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    Tehol! How are you big Chief?! Mind helping me pick my line up for this week? I am in a ten team .5 PPR. I really appreciate your help!

    QB- Prescott or Tannehill?
    RB1-Murray OR Prosise OR Rawls OR Hill OR Ajayi OR L. Miller OR D. Henry?
    RB2-Miller OR Henry OR Rawls OR Ajayi OR Murray OR Hill?
    TE-Kelce
    WR1- T. Hill OR Beasley OR Britt
    WR2- Britt OR Beasley OR T. Hill?
    D- Dallas OR TB or PIT?

      • William Trill Cauley-Stein says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: s Tehol! I appreciate it. I forgot to include my flex! Who should I go with?

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