Sure, everyone likes top shelf. Whether it’s the tequila or the vodka or my grandpappy’s moonshine, we all wanna live like we’re in a Nickelback video without looking like Chad Kroeger and without having to actually listen to Nickelback. But not all of us can afford top shelf…hrm, could that be because we are constantly pumping money into gambling on football? Nah, I see no correlation! What I do see is one of the few remaining chances at cash in the football world by trying to buy as much bottom shelf options as I can afford on FanDuel this week. So without any more references to Nickelback *shudders* let’s take a look at the cheap plays around the league for week 17.
Philip Rivers ($6,900) – I know, I know he’s been the bane of many people’s existence in the fantasy world nearly all year. Real or fake, I will forever and always blame his mustache for this abominable season. The reality is when Rivers has been given a decent match up, he’s been useful and against a Raiders defense that gives up the 6th most fantasy points to opposing QBs, even that horrendous cookie duster can’t get in the way.
Chad Henne ($6,400) - Yes, we’re bottom of the barrel scraping here. I don’t even know if bottom shelf applies here. This is definitely more ‘left over pool of PBR beneath the bottom shelf’ but the match up against the Titans screams value play as Tennessee has given up the 2nd most touchdown passes on the year to opposing QBs. Lap it up my friends.
Mark Ingram ($5,300) - I’ll preface this one by saying I’m not rolling with Ingram this week. There’s a reason he’s this cheap and it’s because that Saints backfield is less reliable than a former television child star. That said, the Panthers are fairly strong against the pass yet relatively weak against the run. I’m not promising nor suggesting you have a Ryan Grant week in Ingram’s future but if you wanna try that PBR puddle out some more…
Montell Owens ($5,700) - You’ll probably notice a few guys from the Jags and the Titans on here as I went over it ad nauseam in my weekly rankings post for week 17. Reading the title of that alone will give you hints about what WR I have in mind. In any case, great match up in a meaningless game and he’s the lead RB for his team by default of being the only one healthy. If he turns in another performance like he did in week 14 against a similarly porous Jets run defense (102 total yards and a touchdown), I won’t be all that surprised.
Shonn Greene ($6,400) - Suggesting you put Greene on your team is about as sexy as this picture of DeMarco Murray. Unless you’re one of our lady readers then maybe it’s sexy but I still have my doubts. What’s there to say? Greene can be useful given the right situation and the Bills give up the most fantasy points to opposing running backs. I’d say that’s about as right of a situation as you’re going to find.
Justin Blackmon ($6,100) – Can we just say obligatory and be done with it? Big fish, small pond. Should be targeted heavily and end the day with decent stats.
Miles Austin ($6,000) – I know, he’s been inconsistent and has had a hard time staying healthy. But I also know the Redskins give up the 3rd most points to opposing wide receivers. Sure,Dez Bryanthas been borderline machine of late but this game should see enough back and forth to give Austin a shot to be your WR3 this week.
Steve Smith ($6,600) – Ok so he’s not the cheapest WR you’re going to find this week but against that Saints secondary, Smith’s price should be well worth it.
Danario Alexander ($6,100) - Ummmm, why is he this cheap? I get the donut he dropped in week 15 but did anyone notice he gave us 69 yards on 3 catches and a touchdown against a strong Jets secondary last week? This feels like I asked for a shot of Cuervo Gold and luck into them grabbing a tequila that’s 100% Blue Agave. I’m not complaining.
Marcedes Lewis($4,900) – Welcome to the crapshoot that is tight end with an emphasis on ‘crap’. It’s been tough sledding this year as the top TEs have either been injured, off their game, or both at various points of the year. I have as much faith in this pick as I do in the Westboro Baptist Church creating world peace.
David Thomas ($5,000) - Fun fact: David has scored a touchdown in each of his last two games. Fun fact number two: he only has 24 yards on 3 catches over that exact same span. Fun fact number three: you probably don’t wanna go bottom shelf at TE this week and I’m rolling with Jason Witten.
Lawrence Tynes ($5,100) -Went from fantasy hero to fantasy nobody in seemingly 5 seconds flat. New York needs to make the playoffs and Vick needs to prove he should still be starting in the NFL. I think this game is close and I think Tynes scores a lot of points when Eli and Michael aren’t throwing interceptions. I also think it’s strange only $500 separates the top kicker fromRyan Succop…whose coincidentally priced the same as Tynes. Ugh, I’m done talking about kickers.
San Fransisco 49ers ($5,300) - Ummm, what? They’re at home and they face the 4th string QB of a Cardinals offense that has just been flat out terrible. I get that they’ve given up 76 total points over the last two weeks. But those games were against the Patriots and a surging Seahawks team. And they were both away games. The kicker in all this? The Cardinals defense costs $300 MORE…exsqueeze me? A baking powder? Whatever, bartender, I’ll take another shot of anything. Just make sure it’s bottom shelf.