I had the audacity…nay, the paucity (not really a good word to use here but it kinda works)…better yet the ignorancy (not a really real word at all) to go and rank Frank Gore 22nd overall amongst fantasy running backs this week in my Weekly Rankings. After finishing last week with a decent number and the complaining that he did in the days leading up to tonight, I should’ve known my ranking would come back to haunt me. Mike Wallace did it, I had been warned. Or was that the ghost of Gore from years past *faintly heard in the distance is Frank screeching I’m not dead yet!*. Whatever the culprit, Gore dropped upon his fantasy owners a much needed boost for his believers, carrying the load for 153 yards on the ground on 20 carries with a touchdown and a lone, measly you’re not gonna lose your week because of it fumble on the night. It was very much vintage Gore. And that’s why I still strongly encourage the sell. I used the word vintage for a reason, ya know. Look, tonight’s game aside, he’s brought you 47 yards a game and only one TD. Great for a flex but not so great if he’s one of your main backs you rely on from week to week. I would use this game and last week’s 82 rushing yards vs a very inferior rushing opponent as a springboard to bigger and better things in your league. As much as I love Gore, he’s just not the RB2 we were looking for. In other news for 2013 Fantasy Football…
Sam Bradford – I quipped at one point this was the Toilet Bowl: Kraepernick vs Crapford. Only Sam lived up to the moniker the entire night. I’m not gonna mince words here to spare my feelings or yours. He looked terrible. The Rams started the game off really well and should’ve been up 14-0 with the way they were playing. But Bradford overthrew Pettis on his way to the endzone for a wide open touchdown – seriously, go find the replay. Sure, Austin coulda run a better route but damn did Sam really just miss it – and the rest of the night was history. The Rams never got anything going and Bradford made a lot of questionable throws. It was like watching a guy try out this video of pick up lines at bar. You wanna root for him but you know he’s doomed from the words ‘with great penis, comes great responsibility’. He has a lot of tools surrounding him and the season’s not lost yet but he’s gonna need to CTRL+ALT+DEL this night and play better next week to regain his owner’s trust.
Colin Kaepernick - A lot of hate was going around about Kaep this past week. It’s one thing to get killed in Seattle but when you fail to out-produce Terrelle Pryor who faced the same Indy defense in Colts territory, you bring out the angry birds. Angry birds boo in my world, BTW. Well, it wasn’t a triumphant night by any stretch of the imagination – 15/23 for 167 passing yards and 2 passing TDs to go with a fumble and 11 rushing – but it was a step up from his recent play. Moving forward, I still have him in my buy column and nothing from this night changed my mind.
Daryl Richardson – I don’t know what the coaches were thinking. I’m pretty sure I saw the same run play on every one of his 12 carries for 16 yards. This offensive line is terrible. The fact that coaches didn’t get him out in space with a screen pass or in the flat or SOMETHING…well, when I was ripping apart Bradford, realize part of that falls on the staff as well. You can’t do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. Much like trying to reason with my wife, that’s the definition of insanity. Pretty sure Brian Schottenheimer failed at having proper sex 12 times with someone’s navel before realizing he wasn’t doing it right.
Anquan Boldin – After taking a fantasy hiatus, Boldin returned to the spotlight with a 5/90/1 night. He also drew at least one pass interference call. Because he’s old and shouldn’t be treated like he’s the young dynamo WR in an offense. Yo, SF, a little trade help here? Tx.
Vernon Davis – It wasn’t a great night but for only catching 2 passes for 18 yards, that TD sure was sweet. Always hard to gauge a player when he’s injured and says he’s ready to play. Never sure if he’s Paul Pierce’ing you or Knights Of Ni’ing you.
Austin Pettis – Had 5 receptions for 59 yards on 9 targets. Because Bradford has played so poorly of late, Pettis has become a viable fantasy option. I hate Bradford for this. And I hate Pettis by association. Meanwhile, Givens was held to 4/49 on 8 targets. Yes, my love affair is done.
Bruce Miller – Apparently he exists. And he plays football. Who knew?
Jared Cook – Was tied for team targets at 9 but only reeled in 4 for 49. I look back fondly on the first week when I gave him the Breaking Bad moniker of Captain Cook. I was full on ready to move him to Heisenberg status if he kept rolling. But here we are in week 4 and he still only has 2 TDs on the season. Yo, Schotty, a little lower than the navel by week 5, ok?