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I went to college in a small town with only a few bars. In small college towns there is always the designated “hook up bar” where young men and women flock to satisfy their carnal urges. Every weekend inaudible drunkenness and debauchery hang as a thick cloud, facilitating coitus (sometimes on the premises).

Our parents didn’t send us away to college to gyrate, sweat all over each other, and exchange bodily fluids. But it was a rite of passage and what happened there stayed there (unless it came home with you). In that case the “walk of shame” was the morning result.

What I always appreciated about the Tick Tock was that it was devoid of the posturing that typically takes place when two people are attracted to each other. Interaction was broken down to brass tacks and you knew where you stood. In a way it is more “real” than the dog and pony show that often is the courting process.

I wish the process of trading players in Fantasy Football could be like this all the time. Wouldn’t it be easier if we just cut to the chase more often? It is so much easier when someone just says to you “hey, I have a man-crush on Phillip Rivers like you can’t imagine, can we put a deal together?”

In reality people typically throw out outrageously low-balled offers that make you want to kick their dog. That sows seeds of distrust and resentment and squashes any chance of a deal getting done. I have made this mistake many times; thrown out ridiculous offers and manufactured bad blood. That’s just bad business.

This season I am making a concerted effort to just “lay it out there” in my trade negotiations. I think a lot more progress is made by just telling your league mates who you want, who is available on your team, and seeing what happens. It works at the Tick Tock “Body Rock” and I think it will work in Fantasy Football.

  1. chisox says:
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    Good idea, I realized it’s a waste of my time to try to make trades in most leagues, unless I grossly overpay. From my experiences, some people are unwilling to make trades no matter what, and I think most of those people have been ripped off in the past, therefore, they are very hesitant to make trades. Thank you all you unethical fantasy players for ruining for the rest of us.

  2. weas says:
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    Amen! I’m so sick of lowball trades and trying to screw over my leaguemates, who are usually my friends. I only make offers that are fair (in the sense that both teams are helped), and people seem to respect them. If they aren’t interested I almost always get back a reply like, “this was extremely tempting but I just can’t part with XYZ.”

  3. Calogero says:
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    Not trade related (though I’ve been trying to unload Ward), but I’ve got both a flex and QB quandary this week…

    Derrick Ward, Shady McCoy, or Knowshon?
    and
    Romo or Garrard?

  4. schmohawk says:
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    well written, very funny and circles back to a great point…..
    bring on week 3 !

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