Don't be shellfish...Tweet about this on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on Google+Share on Reddit

This might be old news or you might have been on a staycation and turned off all your electronic devices for the last week, but damn, why did the Colts trade for T-Rich? Donald Brown looked really good last week and being that he is averaging 5.9 YPC to T-Rich’s 2.8 you would think he would be the starter and the trade bust would be the waterboy. Oh wait a minute, wrong boy, not the waterboy, the piss boy. I know what you are all thinking, why talk about a guy that is the obvious add when we all know better than to play T-Rich? Because we here at razzball like to beat a dead horse till it’s all glue and dog food….and we still get lots of should I play T-Rich questions. Drop his ass like your internet date dropped you when she went to “the bathroom” and never came back. Last week and part of this week it was all raining Rainey up in here after that suspenseful build up and amazing delivery by the guy who got CUT by the Browns back in October. The Browns should’ve had Donald Brown thrown into the deal. Could you imagine the merch sales of the Brown Browns jersey?

The season is winding down, playoffs are a few hangovers away and Sky is starting to lose it. We need to stay sharp and start going with our best players, study our schedules weeks ahead, and maybe grab some handcuffs in case a stud gets shut down, injured or demoted. I’m not saying to go grab Gerhart in case AP gets hurt but I would stash Bryce Brown, Robert Turbin, Christian Michael, Montee Ball, Dennis Johnson, Bernard Pierce, and Kendall Hunter….oh what the hell, grab Gerhart if you’re really feeling an AP injury is coming. Before you all go WTF J-FOH,  I’m not saying to drop someone usable, but if you have 6 WR’s and you are only going to play 3 or 4 of them, and the 6th guy won’t hurt you on someone else’s team then yeah go grab a stash. Rid yourself of your back up kickers and 3rd team defense. You want to be ahead of the game and think about situations that may occur in the last 2 weeks of the season. Most especially if your championship week is the last week of the season. By the way, I think that is the dumbest thing ever and damn all commishes that make the championship week the last week of the year. I can hear it now, ” Hey, I have Peyton, and he’s only playing a couple series this week and I need to start either EJ Manuel or Geno Smith for my championship matchup” I don’t want to see that and will only answer questions like that with really stupid questions. Be smart FFB’s and start stashing good upside guys that MIGHT get some PT. This also goes for WR’s. Lastly,  I was really disappointed we had zero hecklers for Prezzi’s freestyles in football bash last weekend. I invite him back again to lay it down like an underground MC in an abandoned warehouse.

FUZZY HANDCUFFS - They’re fun, sexy, and when someone breaks them out it’s good times ahead

1) CJ Spiller (Fred Jackson, Tashard Choice)

2) Ryan Matthews (Danny Woodhead, Ronnie Brown)

3)Pierre Thomas (Darren Sproles, Khiry Robinson)

4) Brian Leonard (Bobby Rainey)

5)  Trent Richardson (Donald Brown, Daniel Herron)

6) Darren McFadden (Rashad Jennings, Marcel Reece)

7) Rashard Mendenhall (Andre Ellington, Stepfan Taylor, Alfonso Smith)

8) Reggie Bush (Joique Bell)

9) Giovanni Bernard (BenJarvus Green-Ellis)

10)  Steven Ridley (Shane Vereen, Brandon BoldenLeGarrette Blount)

11) Willis McGahee (Chris Ogbonnaya, Fozzie Whittaker) 

STANDARD ISSUE POLICE CUFFS – Ever sat on a curb while your car was searched? Been in the back of a cruiser piss drunk after getting this eye catcher of a haircut. Get caught by Five-O while taking a leak behind a dumpster and were worried you would have to register as a sex offender for indecent exposure? Like the strength of those cuffs, these cuffs are worth owning or being heavily watched in 10 team and up leagues. These backs are in split situations, have fuzzy cuff potential, and are solid fill ins when the starter is out.

12) DeAngelo Williams (Mike Tolbert, Jonathan Stewart, Kenjon Barner)

13) Alfred Morris (Roy Helu, Evan Roysteer)

14) Steven Jackson (Jaquizz Rodgers, Jason Snelling)

15) Knowshon Moreno (Montee Ball, Ronnie Hillman)

16) DeMarco Murray (Joseph Randle,Phillip Tanner,Lance Dunbar)

17) Andre Brown (Peyton Hillis, Michael Cox, Brandon Jacobs)

18) Ben Tate (Dennis Johnson, Javarris Williams, Deji Karim)

19) LeSean McCoy (Bryce Brown, Chris Polk)

20) Chris Johnson (Shonn Greene, Jackie Battle)

21) Chris Ivory (Bilal Powell, Tommy Bohanon)

DUCT TAPE - Handcuffs of the homemade variety? Hey, you might be in a pinch and looking around your garage and you find man’s 2nd best tool, don’t make me explain our 1st. In the right instance they can be as secure as Tehol at a Victoria’s Secret model party or as volatile as Jaywrong trying to navigate the dating scene in the D.C. area. The thing with duct tape is you never know how it’s going to hold up, I’ve seen it last anywhere from a day to 10 years, you never know. These backs may be sexy but we’ll never know, back up studs, or are left for dead on really bad teams.  Add at your own risk of never playing them.

22) Frank Gore (Kendall Hunter, LaMichael James, Anthony Dixon)

23) Eddie Lacy (James Starks, Johnathan Franklin )

24) Maurice Jones Drew (Denard Robinson, Justin Forsett, Jordan Todman)

25) Ray Rice (Bernard Pierce, Shaun Draughn)

26) Zac Stacy (Daryl Richardson, Isaiah Pead, Benny Cunningham)

27) Lamar Miller (Daniel Thomas, Mike Gillislee, Marcus Thigpen)

28) Marshawn Lynch (Robert Turbin, Christine Michael)

29) Matt Forte (Michael Bush, Michael Ford)

30) Jamaal Charles (Knile Davis, Cyrus Grey)

31) Le’Veon Bell (Felix Jones, Johnathan Dwyer)

32) Adrian Peterson (Toby Gerhart)

If you are feeling bored you could follow me on twitter  …or not

  1. Greg says:
    (link)

    Wait, isn’t Brian Leonard the handcuff for Bobby Rainey, not the other way around?

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Greg: you would think that but they still have leonard listed. Think bengals situation woth GOB and the law firm earlier this year

      • Greg says:
        (link)

        @J-FOH:

        Yeah, fair enough comparison. I just think Rainey got, what, 80% of the touches last week when he was listed as #2.

        • J-FOH says:
          (link)

          @Greg: I don’t make up the depth charts. I take a consensus across the net and when I put this together leonard is still listed as the starter. Rainey was on fire last week and they stayed with the hot hand. May be different this week. CJ Spiller has been listed as the starter all year when Jackson has been leaps and bounds better.

          • Greg says:
            (link)

            @J-FOH:

            Rainey, 18 touches. Leonard, 2.

            Granted, DET was stuffing up front, so this was no dazzling performance by Rainey, but still 18-2.

            • J-FOH says:
              (link)

              @Greg: that doesn’t change what I originally said nor why I said it. This article is not my opinion of depth charts but how they are represented by the teams. I’m assuming this will change sooner than later for the Bucs, until then it will remain the same. I think the best thing for you would be to focus on the content and specific questions rather than trying to prove a fruitless point. See you next week

              • Greg says:
                (link)

                @J-FOH:
                10-4, man. I completely understand the method behind the column now, and I am genuinely sorry if I sounded insulting.

                My point, which I still don’t think is fruitless, is that I’m not sure how to USE this information. I have Rainey on my roster, and when I first saw your blog post saying that Rainey was the handcuff for Brian Leonard, I assumed that you, as one of the fantasy experts at Razzball who I rely on and really appreciate, were telling me that Leonard was expected to get most of the carries. Maybe I am wrong, but that’s how I read it and I definitely assumed you knew more than me.

                Once more, I am not trying to show you up or pick a fight here, I really appreciate the entire Razzball operation, yourself included, and ESPECIALLY how much attention all of the bloggers pay to their audience in the comments section.

                • J-FOH says:
                  (link)

                  @Greg: I appreciate that. I reference why this column is here in my first one http://football.razzball.com/the-handcuff-report . The point is to put some clarity to situations and a fortunate by product for myself is some situations are upside down like Buffalo and Cincy early in the season. This came about from years past and watching depth charts not match the numbers and making a user friendly version for the readers that takes away the figuring out portion that can be frustrating. It also serves to know who to stash and who to grab if injury occurs.

                  I might have to make a permanent disclaimer explaining the point of this so there is no future confusion.

                  At razzball we pride ourselves on commenter interaction, for every comment I get I get an e-mail. I actually was a frequent commenter that was able to parlay it to a writing gig on the football side this year and baseball next year.

                  In regards to the leonard/rainey situation I normally put notesnext situations when needed but have been unable to lately due to a family emergency so my time has been a little short. Hopefully this coming week will allow me to get more in depth from sitaution to situation when notes are necessary

                  see you friday

                  • Kid A says:
                    (link)

                    @J-FOH:
                    BING!
                    Email Alert:
                    You just got your ass handed to you in a doggy bag in our league this week.

                    Sorry about the family. I want my Jack filled to the brim with hate, not sadness.

                    Makes spit-taking your “expert” analysis soup much more satisfying.

                    • J-FOH says:
                      (link)

                      @Kid A: It’s been a bad time. My dad had a heart attack and a quintuple bypass. Since I work for him I’m pulling double duty.

                      Sadness and hate come from the same place for me, don’t worry, I’ll be back in the spittin hate game soon enough. Too bad the Oaktown Steve roundtable I was a part of got squashed, you could of read my “How I got here” story and really saw the root of some of my anger.

                      Bad weekin my league for me. Rodgers out is killing me, and the 16 points combined between my QB and all 3 WR’s didn’t help. My defense has been what keeps me in t every week. That and the nice handcuffs I’ve been able to get, PT Cruiser, Tate, Stacy, and Brown.

                    • J-FOH says:
                      (link)

                      @Kid A: piss and vinegar to the brim

                    • Prez says:
                      (link)

                      This…. Was…. Hilarious..

                    • Pre says:
                      (link)

                      Not the whole family thing.. obviously.. unless i was just a sick person.. which i may be… But yeah, see ya friday, pulling guard.

                  • Greg says:
                    (link)

                    @J-FOH:

                    Great, man. Again, I meant no disrespect. Also, saddened to hear that there are health troubles in the family. I hope everything turns out as well as one could hope for, and this stranger from the internet will definitely be thinking about you and your fam.

                    Best,
                    -Greg

                    • Kid A says:
                      (link)

                      @Greg: Dude, pull no punches. You do him no favors being nice. Believe me, I’ve tried. He is fueled by rage and anger. He is the Jugernaut.

                    • J-FOH says:
                      (link)

                      @Greg: no disrespect taken, just correcting the peanut gallery.

                  • Prez says:
                    (link)

                    Oh now im fuckin “Pre”…. Awesome… Fuckin awesome, Pre! This why i hate coming here! Fuck!!

                    * storms out door *

  2. PBMax says:
    (link)

    Little help please, Tolzien vs MIN or RG3 vs SF?

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @PBMax: RG3

      • PBMax says:
        (link)

        thanks

  3. Mike says:
    (link)

    Am I crazy to start McCown over Kaep, meant to be freezing on Monday night .

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Mike: no, I think Sky was a little conservative this week with McCown, he’s the upside play that can win you your week. Start McCown

  4. Drew says:
    (link)

    PPR Flex spot… Pick 1… Ivory, Marlon Brown, Mendenhall, Hartline

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Drew: hartline

      • Drew says:
        (link)

        @J-FOH:

        6/TD pass

        Romo or McCown?

        • J-FOH says:
          (link)

          @Drew: romo

Comments are closed.