As for the ladies, GOB means something gifted. The first two letters spell GO but the last one is something different, wait, what? of course it’s different….different good, the B stands for you been going Big… Ok, no more hack rappin on the Razz… Have you ever known that hot chick that was dating down for the longest time? She always says, “he will turn his life around” and “you don’t see what I see”. For the latter I hope I never see that guy naked. Well the Bengals are that hot chick and they just don’t see what we all see: That GOB – or Giovani Bernard as you know him – is a stud waiting patiently, flashing his “I’m better than the Law Firm skills” every week and trying to get exclusive with the Bengals. I don’t want you all thinking that BenJarvis Green Ellis is a dud, but he is the complementary back to Giovanni and not the other way around. I chose to highlight GOB this week for a few reasons 1) this might be the last time I write about GOB 2) I’m crushing on him like Grey on Giancarlo (must be the sexy Italian names) and owning him nowhere 3) there is no three, oh wait here it is in my back pocket, he’s a top ten back in Yahoo and not 100% owned. If he’s not owned, then grab him, if the league is too small for him to be owned then get in a bigger league or play draft kings with our 7 foot biscuit pimp. Before I get to my ranks, I just watched a commercial for fries on a burger and have noticed lately they sell burritos with fries inside at a few select fast food joints. Is it just me or does this seem borderline ridiculous? Yes, I like fries in my food, but I want to do it myself and feel special for doing it. Don’t cheap up my special things fast food empire!
FUZZY HANDCUFFS – They’re fun, sexy, and when someone breaks them out it’s good times ahead
1) BenJarvus Green-Ellis (Giovani Bernard (+11) The touches have gone from 5 to 9 to 14, can we say 18 to 20 this week? He’s a must start in the flex or at RB2 for bye week.
2) Reggie Bush (Joique Bell (+5) Last week made me wonder, why did the Lions spend money on Reggie Bush? Hey Detroit! go get a receiver to complement Mega Tron! I know it was against the Redskins but Bell has looked good all year and should continue to be a flex with Bush returning.
3) Arian Foster (Ben Tate (0) Arian out averaged Tate 4.5 to 4.0 YPC this past week. Tate is still an injury away from being an RB2 and is a must own everywhere. If you are in a shallow league, I would rather stash Tate than hold D. Rich
STANDARD ISSUE POLICE CUFFS – Ever sat on a curb while your car was searched? Been in the back of a cruiser piss drunk after running into a tree before a big home game against the Colts?…too soon? Get caught by the po-po while taking a leak on the wall next to your favorite bar and were worried you would have to register as a sex offender for indecent exposure? Like the strength of those cuffs, these cuffs are worth owning or being heavily watched in 10 team and up leagues. These backs are in un-sexy splits, have fuzzy cuff potential, and are solid fill ins when the starter is out.
4) Eddie Lacy (Johnathan Franklin (+5), James Starks (0). Green Bay has some serious RB depth and each week they look better and better. Downside, we don’t know who will start when they come off the bye week. On the year Lacy has 2.9 YPC, Starks has 5.5 YPC and Franklin 7.9. But J-FOH, Franklin had a 51 yard run in that game? Take that away and he averaged 4.3 YPC against a solid Bengals D. It’s better than Doug Martin, Adrian Peterson and Matt Forte on the year….cust kayin’
5) Trent Richardson (Ahmad Bradshaw (+1), Donald Brown) Bradshaw looked good last week and should see 15ish touches a week. He’s a solid hold and it will be interesting to see what the Colts offense looks like going forward. Should see some good garbage time this week vs. the Jags
6) Steven Ridley (Brandon Bolden (+18), LaGarrette Blount) Another week, another disappointment for Ridley owners vs. a poor Bucs team. I’m thinking he worked out with CJ Spiller in the off season. Bolden is rising on everyones watch list. Watch out for Bullichit.
7) Steven Jackson (Jason Snelling (+5) Jaquizz Rodgers (+6) With S-Jax Out for week 4 we should see another split backfield against the 24th ranked run defense. Rodgers got 20 touches to Snellings 15, but Snells got the TD and should see any goal line hand offs. he’s still the one to own
8) CJ Spiller (Fred Jackson (+3), Tashard Choice) Fred’s been the most solid back in Buffalo this year, many are giving up on CJ too early and he’s a buy low. Right now I would own Fred in 10 team leagues as a bye week fill in.
9) Ray Rice (Bernard Pierce (0), Shaun Draughn) Rice is listed as doubtful and if Pierce is ever going to do something above his 2.8 YPC average, this weekend against the Bills should be it. If he gets the start and disappoints then he’s duct tape to me.
10) Knowshon Moreno (Montee Ball (+2), Ronnie Hillman (+1) This backfield can go so many ways, Moreno has only played 16 games once in his career and the Broncos look like they will blow some teams out. This can lead to Ball and Hillman looking like good time Garbage Pail Kids *watch this situation closer than others*
11) Rashard Mendenhall (Andre Ellington (+1), Alfonso Smith, Stepfan Taylor) Ellington is creeping around and I like it. He hasn’t fallen off my crush list, others are getting their foot in the door faster.
13) Lamar Miller (Daniel Thomas (+1), Mike Gillislee, Marcus Thigpen). Miller had 1.85 YPC outside of his 49 yard run vs. the Falcons. Danny Boy had a TD in the big Miami win. Follow this situation closely. OK, not that close you’ll go blind, but watch it.
14) LeSean McCoy (Bryce Brown (0) , Chris Polk) Injury = RB2
15) Marshawn Lynch (Robert Turbin (0) Christine Michael (+1) Michael had solid garbage time, will be interesting to see what Uncle Pete does if Lynch goes down. I’d stash one of them in 12 team and up leagues if you have the space.
16) Daryl Richardson (Isaiah Pead (+3) Benny Cunningham, Zac Stacy) Pead might get another shot this week or at the least will split time. Like Miami, this is a situation to watch, but not one to get too invested in.
17) Ryan matthews ( Danny Woodhead (+3) Ronnie Brown) In a 1 pt PPR Woodhead could be used as a bye week flyer with his 15 catches on 17 targets the last 2 weeks.
18) Alfred Morris (Roy Helu (-1) , Evan Royster) Injury = Flex
DUCT TAPE – Handcuffs of the homemade variety? Hey, you might be in a pinch and looking around your garage and you find man’s 2nd best tool, don’t make me explain our 1st. In the right instance they can be as secure as Tehol at a Victoria’s Secret model party or as volatile as Jaywrong trying to navigate the dating scene in the D.C. area. The thing with duct tape is you never know how it’s going to hold up, I’ve seen it last anywhere from a day to 10 years, you never know. These backs may be sexy but we’ll never know, back up studs, or are left for dead on really bad teams. If and only if the starters go down will you want to grab anyone here. Unless you are in a deep league you may want want to stash one as you navigate your way through a free agent wasteland.
19) Frank Gore (Kendall Hunter (0) LaMichael James)
22) Chris Johnson (Shonn Greene (0), Jackie Battle)
23) Matt Forte (Michael Bush (0), Michael Ford)
28) Le’Veon Bell (Felix Jones (-2), Issac Redman, Johnathan Dwyer)
29) David Wilson (Da’Rel Scott (0) Brandon Jacobs)
30) Adrian Peterson (Toby Gerhart (0)
100) The Browns had 14 carries this past Sunday from the running back spot and Hoyer tossed the ball 54 times. You can grab McGahee if you wan’t, but I really don’t think I would want to drop anyone to do it. Maybe the Browns will prove me wrong and run McGahee 20-25 times a game with some success. I look at it like this, and will borrow a figure of speech from the baseball side of the Razz to demonstrate how I feel and you should too, “He can do that on someone else’s team”
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