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Oh how injuries make a man cry, no not the hurt guy, this guy….ME! I’m a Bronco fan, been one since Elway was still at Stanford. My uncle has been a season ticket holder since the team was born in 1960 and my dad went to their first game ever, an exhibition over summer vacation as a teenager. I cry because Montee Ball scares the crap out of me. He could finish the day with 90 yards, 2 TD’s and 3 fumbles….OK, I’m over reacting. He only has three fumbles on the season and the first two were in September, but as they say, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” He’s been getting some playing time lately so we have a baseline to go with. Over the last 4 games he’s averaged 4 YPC, scored 3 TD’s on the ground and caught 6 balls. Dive deeper into that, he had two of those scores vs. the Chiefs in week 11 and we can reasonably expect 1TD and at least 65 yards and 4 catches against them this week. If Moreno is out, Ball’s a flex play in my book, if your league doesn’t have a flex spot then I suggest going on to your league message board and direct your commissioners over here so we can set them straight. We here at Razzball have no problem spreading the good word for proper format.

Last week our resident freestyler never showed up for his return performance. Egotistical rappers! I forgot to put out his bowl of green M&M’s and 6  blunts in the green room. I’m sensing a theme with him. Get out of your camper down by the river and show up Prezzi.

I hope everyone had a memorable Thanksgiving, good or bad, Please share your stories of heavy drinking, fights, delicious food and any small fires or ER trips.

FUZZY HANDCUFFS - They’re fun, sexy, and when someone breaks them out it’s good times ahead.

1)  BenJarvus Green-Ellis (Giovanni Bernard) I went back and looked up this situation on a whim and the Law Firm is back in the drivers seat on the depth chart, oh well, it gives me something to write about. Play GOB always and put the Law Firm with all your other bench players.

2) CJ Spiller (Fred Jackson, Tashard Choice) Why is this still the order in Buffalo?

3) Ryan Matthews (Danny Woodhead, Ronnie Brown) Woodhead has been PPR gold this year.

4)Pierre Thomas (Darren Sproles, Khiry Robinson) PT takes over the drivers seat and has been spectacular. Sproles is back on wait and see mode but has massive upside if he gets off that whole being injured thing.

5) Brian Leonard (Bobby Rainey) After a lengthy discussion last week Rainey is still the back up to Leonard according to the Bucs. ” Rainey had 18 touches to Leonards 2 last week” yes, that is correct diligent commenter, but I present it as the teams do and not what we or reality dictates.

6)  Trent Richardson (Donald Brown, Daniel Herron) T-Rich sucks and Brown looks good! That is all…..OK I drafted T-Rich all over the place and hate him! That is all….One last thing, he will fall in next years draft and I will probably draft him again for the value….Seriously I’m done now…..I still hate him!

7) Reggie Bush (Joique Bell) a strong outing yesterday, Sky reiterated what I said a couple times earlier this year, Why did the Lions sign Bush when they had Bell? This is why the Lions will never get anywhere in the real world. Sorry Megatron, you will be this era’s Barry Sanders, the best at your position with no jewelry to show for.

8) Rashard Mendenhall (Andre Ellington, Stepfan Taylor, Alfonso Smith) After that disappointing game against the Jags, Ellington bounced back with a promising game. He needs to catch more balls this week or he will drop out of the fuzzy zone. We might not like his usage this year but the Cards are 7-4 in real life, so there you go.

9) Zac Stacy (Benny Cunningham, Daryl Richardson, Isaiah Pead) Benny looked ridiculous last week filling in for the concussed Stacy. He averaged 8.4 YPC and scorched the Bears in only a little over a half’s worth of work. Add him now if he’s still there and if Stacy’s out he’s a solid flex option this week. 

10)  Steven Ridley (Shane Vereen, Brandon BoldenLeGarrette Blount) That was a fudging mess on Sunday night. I don’t even want to try and figure out what Bullichit is going to do next. I say stay away this week if you can. To make matters worse if you go to the Pats website and check the depth chart it shows two starting RB’s…Yup and Yep!

11) Willis McGahee (Chris Ogbonnaya, Fozzie Whittaker) Similar situation to what’s going on in Carolina, only difference is DeAngelo Williams is better than McGahee. For the PPR crowd this is a no brainer and has been for a while.

STANDARD ISSUE POLICE CUFFS – Ever sat on a curb while your car was searched? Been in the back of a cruiser piss drunk after getting this eye catcher of a haircut. Get caught by Five-O while taking a leak behind a dumpster and were worried you would have to register as a sex offender for indecent exposure? Like the strength of those cuffs, these cuffs are worth owning or being heavily watched in 10 team and up leagues. These backs are in split situations, have fuzzy cuff potential, and are solid fill ins when the starter is out.

12) Darren McFadden (Rashad Jennings, Marcel Reece) he looked pretty meh yesterday and his owners lucked out with the 2 Thanksgiving TD gifts. Enjoy it and be ready for McFadden messing up his situation.

13) DeMarco Murray (Lance Dunbar, Joseph Randle,Phillip Tanner,) Dunbar looked great yesterday, far better than Murray, but I have also never been a Murray fan, I was more of Schwinn fan growing up. Like Sky said, grab and stash if possible.

14) Knowshon Moreno (Montee Ball, Ronnie Hillman) See above

15) Ray Rice (Bernard Pierce, Shaun Draughn) Ray Ray looks like doo doo and Pierce showed some life yeaterday. Might be a wise stash once again. Go on, grab him, you know you want to.

16) Andre Brown (Brandon Jacobs, Michael Cox, Peyton Hillis)

17) Ben Tate (Dennis Johnson, Javarris Williams, Deji Karim)

18) Chris Ivory (Bilal Powell, Tommy Bohanon)

19) DeAngelo Williams (Mike Tolbert, Jonathan Stewart, Kenjon Barner)

20) Steven Jackson (Jaquizz Rodgers, Jason Snelling)

21) Alfred Morris (Roy Helu, Evan Roysteer)

DUCT TAPE - Handcuffs of the homemade variety? Hey, you might be in a pinch and looking around your garage and you find man’s 2nd best tool, don’t make me explain our 1st. In the right instance they can be as secure as Tehol at a Victoria’s Secret model party or as volatile as Jaywrong trying to navigate the dating scene in the D.C. area. The thing with duct tape is you never know how it’s going to hold up, I’ve seen it last anywhere from a day to 10 years, you never know. These backs may be sexy but we’ll never know, back up studs, or are left for dead on really bad teams.  Add at your own risk of never playing them.

22) LeSean McCoy (Bryce Brown, Chris Polk)

23) Chris Johnson (Shonn Greene, Jackie Battle)

24) Frank Gore (Kendall Hunter, LaMichael James, Anthony Dixon)

25) Eddie Lacy (James Starks, Johnathan Franklin )

26) Maurice Jones Drew (Denard Robinson, Justin Forsett, Jordan Todman)

27) Lamar Miller (Daniel Thomas, Mike Gillislee, Marcus Thigpen)

28) Marshawn Lynch (Robert Turbin, Christine Michael)

29) Matt Forte (Michael Bush, Michael Ford)

30) Jamaal Charles (Knile Davis, Cyrus Grey)

31) Le’Veon Bell (Felix Jones, Johnathan Dwyer)

32) Adrian Peterson (Toby Gerhart)

If you are feeling bored you could follow me on twitter  …or not

From Around The Web

  1. Chicken Dinner says:
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    Yo, Prezzi didn’t show cuz he knows his flow
    is whack like runnung backs wearing Fo D Fo
    Sajak may play that but Homey don’t
    He doesn’t try beat my rhymes cuz he know he won’t.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Chicken Dinner: our first handcuff report throwdown. Let the games begin

    • Prez says:
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      @Chicken Dinner: aww snap, look at chicken dinner.. lookin like a loser and hes steppin to a winner!
      Need to go to church, hes a certified sinner,
      Got more old ass around his team than Bruce Jenner!

      Now on to full of hate,
      You want the good ryhmes, well ya gonna have to wait!
      Blew you away, now you gotta watch the tape..
      And it wont look nice,
      Bet youre pretty mad i started ray rice!
      Had to roll the dice…
      Hey wait… Maybe you should be asking me for advice……..

      *jumps in front row, everyone moves,splats on floor*

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Prez: Uh the 11 points from him and the 7 from Jones makes me feel OK, you should of started Bowe…..

        • Prez says:
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          @J-FOH: Yeahh, but who knew GB would only score 10 points.. bowes ceiling is what, now a days? 10 points? 15? I risked it… Romo could have had a better game though.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Prez: 2 TD’s and 20 targets over the last month vs. a team with the QB that has been cut by two teamsn already this year. I’ll stick to giving advice and you stick to hitting on trannies

            • Prez says:
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              @J-FOH: it was bowe or waiver wire recievers.. i went with the gut and rolled james out there. Ill take 7 if cruz is the darling hes suppose to be this week.

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Prez: hey I was suppose to score 220 last week and got 150, so anything can happen

  2. goodfold2 says:
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    went to that patriots website, how is mallett listed as a backup QB? wasn’t he catching passes as the 3rd TE like 3 weeks ago? was he always listed as a QB but he’s used as like the 8th line receiver?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @goodfold2: Thats Bullichit!

  3. tim says:
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    Playoffs in a non-PPR league on the line:
    Pick one RB: Ellington, Rainey, Sproles, or Bolden (two if you think one is a better play than Randle at FLEX)

    Pick one TE: Gonzalez or Chandler

    • J-FOH says:
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      @tim:Thats a tough one, Ellington is out, Rainey has a real tough matchup and it’s unknown what the Pats do with Bolden, that being said, I like Bolden as my sleeper this week and pair him with Randle.

      Gonzalez

  4. SimplyComposed says:
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    I actually liked the Reggie Bush trade to Detroit. Most teams that have a strong run game have 2 backs that can carry the load. Especially when the 2 backs are different, I was always an advocate of Reggie Bush despite the backlash he receives or at least did. Joique Bell can pound the ball up the middle and Bush can be used for the outside run or put in the slot and destroy linebackers.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @SimplyComposed: Uh, he signed as a free agent and was not traded, what they can do hasn’t really worked out that way, The Lions have LeShore and refuse to use him when they could of gone out and got a REAL weapon at WR to compliment Megatron. I think Mike Wallace would have been a much better fit in Detroit than he was in the Miami situation.

      Bush is a bitch, been one since college, people don’t change

  5. Greg says:
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    Diligent 4EVA. Woot!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Greg: If you play baseball I also write on that side too

  6. Kevin says:
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    PPR
    Woodhead or Spiller

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Kevin: Wood

  7. nyydj2 says:
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    Deep 16 team ,no ppr, Ogbannaya or Dennis Johnson today? Amendola @ Houston, they have a very strong D against the slot, or take a chance on Crabtree?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @nyydj2: I’d gamble Johnson after what we saw last weekend, Crabtree for me

  8. Kid A says:
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    Alshon Jeffery doing everything possible to knock you out of the playoffs in your own league.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Kid A: why, what happened? I’ve been out Christmas shopping

  9. Prez says:
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    Wow… Decker and tate on the bench for you? I feel your pain on tate tho. Rolled with stacy.

    • Kid A says:
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      @Prez: Coming down to Jimmy G vs. Pierre with you two. Exciting finish. Looks like I’m bounced if I lose. Damnit.

      • Prez says:
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        @Kid A: if you lose its going to be a battle for those last two playoff spots. Three people will be 7-6..

        • Kid A says:
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          @Prez: The Points For tie-break will put 3 teams within about a 10 point range. Tighter than a gnat’s ass.
          Speaking of keisters, do me a solid and dump Jackson on his so I can up my postseason odds.
          Whaddya say?

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Kid A: I think I dropped myself on my sunless side. I kicked out the stool but I won’t die.

            You better win because I have already beat myself. Worst thing for my game was writing. I hope this is an adjustment year? Where the hell is my baseball season? Is it march yet?

            • Kid A says:
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              @J-FOH: Gonna stink heading into the off season knowing that if you had played Tate or Decker, you are in third place. Crazy to think that it will come down to fractional points. All I need is for Prez to get his shit together and put you down.

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Kid A: its not like he’s suiting up. I miss the technological side of baseball

                • Kid A says:
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                  @J-FOH: You and I both know that Prez goes full dress on game days. All Jimmy Graham up top and birthday suit on the bottom.

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Kid A: that’s me when Kershaw takes the hill….or Grey’s buy/sell on Friday’s.

          • Prez says:
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            @Kid A: haha jack is about to get jimmy’d, dont worry!

  10. Kid A says:
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    All you had to do was win and you were playoff bound…

    The horror…

    THE HORROR…

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Kid A: Jackpocalypse Now….and now on to baseball

Comments are closed.