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For those of you that had week 6 in your DeMarco Murray injury pool then enjoy your winnings and for those of you that had Joseph Randle stashed I call bullshizz. What’s that diligent razzball commenter, “hey J, you had Lance Dunbar listed as the handcuff the last 4 weeks”. I know and who would of thunk the guy with ZERO touches all season would be the guy to replace the guy. I’m not here to get all googly eyed over Randle even though Randle is the word of the week right now in fantasy football. First, you have the knee injury to Randall Cobb, who I always thought was this guy, and then you have Rueben Randle, the very relevant the last two weeks WR from the Giants who likes to battle with David Wilson on Twitter. Now Joseph Randle doesn’t really add to the sexy mix like the other two, but he is the starter this week and may be needed as a bye week stand in. If you don’t need him then I wouldn’t drop anyone worthy to stash him. Last week vs. the Skins he managed only 1.4 YPC for a total of 17 yards on 11 carries with a long of 14 yards. That means he averaged 0.3 yards for the other 10 carries, that’s a little less than a foot per carry against one of the worst run defenses. He did catch two balls out of the backfield and considering he is playing the Eagles this week might be good for 8-10 points and maybe more in a PPR league. Everyone on the list below him is droppable to stream, and we might see a different Randle this week compared to last when he gets all week to prepare and mentally get ready to be the main ball carrier. But again, I wouldn’t put my stock too high. Sorry readers this post will be a little short this week for I am going on a trip to see our leader Sky and have a lot of things to handle before I leave town. I also want to wish our Razzball icon on the baseball side a happy bachelor party weekend, may it turn out as exciting as this one. I will be available throughout the weekend for Q&A and via Twitter for those that prefer that route…..damn I went link crazy this week!

FUZZY HANDCUFFS - They’re fun, sexy, and when someone breaks them out it’s good times ahead

1) CJ Spiller (Fred Jackson, Tashard Choice) CJ might be showing life but Jackson is still a must start in most formats.

2) Ryan Matthews (Danny Woodhead, Ronnie Brown) Matthews returned and looked all 2011 out there, Woodhead still got 14 touches and was second on the team in receptions on Monday night. He’s still a must start especially in PPR leagues.

3) Rashard Mendenhall (Andre Ellington +3, Alfonso Smith, Stepfan Taylor) Averaging 8.0 YPC on the season and had a season high 5 catches against SF this last week. He’s gold and should be owned everywhere.

4) Darren Sproles (Pierre Thomas , Khiry Robinson +5) The three headed monster has the bye week. This is really turning into a mess. I would trade Sproles with these two hot and ready handcuffs. Robinson was impressive against the Pats and keeps me thinking he is an injury away from 15-18 carries.

5) Giovanni Bernard (BenJarvus Green-Ellis +5) A true split backfield. The law firm is staying relevant for now and may get some goal line love.

6) Reggie Bush (Joique Bell) Should be OK to play this week in deeper and PPR leagues.

7) Arian Foster (Ben Tate) Working his way south, still a hold for now

STANDARD ISSUE POLICE CUFFS – Ever sat on a curb while your car was searched? Been in the back of a cruiser piss drunk after getting this ridiculous haircut….in week 6? Get caught by Five-O while taking a leak behind a dumpster and were worried you would have to register as a sex offender for indecent exposure? Like the strength of those cuffs, these cuffs are worth owning or being heavily watched in 10 team and up leagues. These backs are in split situations, have fuzzy cuff potential, and are solid fill ins when the starter is out.

8) Steven Jackson (Jaquizz Rodgers +3, Jason Snelling) Jackson is still out and the Quizz is clearly the guy to start, Snelling in deeper leagues

9)  Steven Ridley (Brandon Bolden, LaGarrette Blount) The touches were down for Bolden but I still like him long term.

10) David Wilson (Brandon Jacobs +5, Da’Rell Scott) Can Brandon re-peat. Let it Ride and pray a lot!

11) DeMarco Murray (Joseph Randle,Phillip Tanner,Lance Dunbar) see above

12) Alfred Morris (Roy Helu +5, Evan Royster) Helu’s 10 touches alongside Morris puts him back in the stash and hold zone.

13) Ray Rice (Bernard Pierce, Shaun Draughn) whats the yawning sound?

14) Knowshon Moreno (Ronnie Hillman,  Montee Ball) Messy with potential

15) Chris Johnson (Shonn Greene, Jackie Battle) When Greene returns he should take a bite out of CJineffectiveK

16) DeAngelo Williams (Mike Tolbert, Kenjon Barner) Some are touting Tolbert this week….not me

17) Eddie Lacy (Johnathan Franklin, James Starks) Lacy sealed the deal this weekend against a tough Ravens D. Yeah it’s not looking good for any GB backup.

18) LeSean McCoy (Bryce Brown, Chris Polk) Injury = RB2

19) Darren McFadden (Rashad Jennings, Marcel Reece) Bye Week Blah

DUCT TAPE - Handcuffs of the homemade variety? Hey, you might be in a pinch and looking around your garage and you find man’s 2nd best tool, don’t make me explain our 1st. In the right instance they can be as secure as Tehol at a Victoria’s Secret model party or as volatile as Jaywrong trying to navigate the dating scene in the D.C. area. The thing with duct tape is you never know how it’s going to hold up, I’ve seen it last anywhere from a day to 10 years, you never know. These backs may be sexy but we’ll never know, back up studs, or are left for dead on really bad teams.  Add at your own risk of never playing them.

20) Willis McGahee (Chris Ogbonnaya, Bobby Rainey)

21) Zac Stacy (Daryl Richardson, Isaiah Pead, Benny Cunningham)

22) Lamar Miller (Daniel Thomas, Mike Gillislee, Marcus Thigpen)

23) Marshawn Lynch (Robert Turbin, Christine Michael)

24) Frank Gore (Kendall Hunter, LaMichael James)

25) Bilal Powell (Chris Ivory, Mike Goodson)

26)  Trent Richardson (Donald Brown, Daniel Herron)

27) Matt Forte (Michael Bush, Michael Ford)

28) Maurice Jones Drew (Jordan Todman, Justin Forsett)

29) Jamaal Charles (Knile Davis, Cyrus Grey)

30) Le’Veon Bell (Felix Jones, Issac Redman, Johnathan Dwyer)

31) Adrian Peterson (Toby Gerhart)

32) Doug Martin (Brian Leonard, Mike James)

You can also follow me and ask me questions on twitter 

  1. Pardon Me Madam, But Your Mipples Are Leaking says:
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    Man im sick of these handcuffs,
    Your career is failing faster than Hillary Duff,
    What the fuck, Gareth looks like a ball of fluff,
    And youre a fat turtle whos fallen and cant get up..

    *drops mic*

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Pardon Me Madam, But Your Mipples Are Leaking:
      Don’t be so bitter, you’re better at your slapstick like John Ritter
      Like that time you went down on Brooke and found out she carried a stick like a hitter
      Your jealousy of Kid A makes me think you need a babysitter
      I’ll put you in next weeks article so you won’t be a quitter

      ….trips over mic

      • Chicken Dinner says:
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        @J-FOH: Is that a battle rap?When I read that crap I had to laugh. Did you get it raw dog or was your boyfriend riding saddle back? Should we call you Jack, its more like wide receiver. Not tight end my friend. Shouldn’t men leave it to beaver?

          • Chicken Dinner says:
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            @J-FOH: I just found out about this site in the middle of the baseball season. I had two leagues so I named myself Chicken Dinner in anticipation of winning both leagues. Mission accomplished. Much thanks for all the support.

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Chicken Dinner: come back anytime for football and shenanigans. ..we encourage both

      • Pardon Me Madam, But Your Mipples Are Leaking says:
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        @J-FOH: nice! We will see whos the quitter when im 6-1 in your league tomorrow, though! :) lets go!

        *unintentional rap

  2. Sandy says:
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    Would you trade Sproles for Ridley? Std league

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Sandy: no. Aim higher

  3. J b says:
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    Would you trade Julius Thomas victor Cruz for gronk and Keenan Allen I also have Finley ( in case gronk can’t get on the field)

    • J-FOH says:
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      @J b: no. I’d ride with thomas

  4. CL says:
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    PPR… Quizz or Zac Stacy? Or drop one for Joique Bell? I have S. Jackson rotting away if it means anything.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @CL: quizz for bell

      • CL says:
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        @J-FOH: @J-FOH: you starting Bell over Stacy then?

        • J-FOH says:
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          @CL: yes

  5. BigRay says:
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    Was offered Vernon Davis for Andre johnson, my other wr are colston,Blackmon, r.white and jeffery. My TE right now is Finley. Your thoughts if I should make deal. Thanks

    • J-FOH says:
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      @BigRay: I’d take davis

  6. brick says:
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    So gronk’s back? What do I do with Heath Miller, dudes been pretty consistent, Would you consider him worth a flex over terrance williams this week?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @brick: no. Play williams

  7. Zandy says:
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    Safe to drop bolden? Std league
    Others on the wire include shonn, Ahmad brown, cox

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Zandy: if you can stash brown that would be the smart play

      • Zandy says:
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        @J-FOH: drop Ellington or McGahee for him? I figure no. Who’s a fair target rb2/3 to target with a package of McGahee and Ellington?

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Zandy: no. None play the matchups

  8. Anthony says:
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    In a PPR league would you rather trade for Ridleys upside or Gore’s consistent, injury risk self? Also it’s a auction keeper and Ridley is 20 compared to Gore’s 51. Thanks man!!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Anthony: ridley at 20

  9. pooonhunter says:
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    hello,

    QB? cam @ home vs st.l or rivers in Jax? flip flopped a few times already

    Also woodhead, stacy or joseph randle as a filler for Murray this week?

    Lastly can you pick 3 WR/TE flex to start? gates,finley,thompkins,a.brown, hartline, steve johnson,mike williams, terrance williams finley is a FA but may increase in value

    THANKS!!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @pooonhunter: cam. Woodhead. Gates. A brown thompkins terrance

  10. Frank says:
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    Would you trade McCoy for Martin and Blackmon? I have McCoy and I’m 2-4.. looking to get some pieces back. I have MJD, Stacy, Demaryius (who I also may trade), Amendola (writing him off), and a bunch of WR3′s (Durham, LaFell, Simpson).

  11. J-FOH says:
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    I would take martin blackmon

  12. TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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    16 team super deep league .5 ppr, is Khiry Robinson worth a stash? I would probably drop Bowe for him (who probably will never crack my starting lineup again), or I could drop Cecil Shorts or Hartline but I think Bowe is the drop here since Hartline and Shorts are better and Hartline already has had his bye week. Thanks.

  13. Bryan says:
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    Rice or Alfred Morris ROS?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Bryan: morris

  14. Hey, in a 12 team league and my backs are Morris, Moreno, Woodhead, Wilson, Joique, Helu…would you drop Wilson or Bell for some Montee Ball handcuff action?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @exactly: no

  15. Matticus says:
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    What do you think of this trade offer:

    Me: Give up Andrew Luck, Julius Thomas, Bilal Powell, and Josh Gordon
    Trade Partner: Give up RGIII, Gio Bernard, Calvin Johnson

    Rest of my team: RBs: Trich, L. Miller, B. Tate, Vereen Wrs: Nelson, T. Smith, K. Allen, K. Thompkins Te: J. Graham, Heath Miller.

    Appreciate any thoughts one whether I should go through with it.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Matticus: I don’t like it

  16. Benny says:
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    Help – I was offered Antonio Brown and Tony Gonzalez for my Julius Thomas and Ryan Mathews. Mathews is like my 4th RB in a league where I can start 2 at most so he’s irrelevant to me. I’m thinking I should do the deal because Gonzo could post huge numbers the rest of the way with Julio done. He might be more valuable than Thomas by seasons end.

    Would you agree or am I being dumb?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Benny: I like it. Are you going to use brown?

  17. Kzing says:
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    Bell, Greene, Andre Brown on FA in a PPR 12 team league…
    I have Ellington , Forte , McFadden , Vereen on stash, Jacobs, and Richarson .

    With byes and injuries, I have to be careful, but how would you make team stronger for weeks 9-15? Is Richa rdson ever going to do anything ? Is Jacobs even going to play before Brown is back ?

    Thanks!!

    • Kzing says:
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      @Kzing: benjarvus is also available as FA

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Kzing: bell over rich

  18. Kzing says:
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    Peyton hillis or Richardson this week?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Kzing: trent

  19. Kid A says:
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    With the Hamster out it looks like James is getting the job, not Leonard, as you’ve so deftly deduced. If we can’t trust the handcuff pairings of our pudgy prognosticator, what can we believe in? Don’t tailspin your legions, Jackson.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Kid A: good catch. like randle in dallas guessing the guy to replace the guy with so little to work with can be like knowing the batting order of the angels on a daily basis. The general consensus was leonard. I’m sure sky will have it in print for the waivers this week.

      Btw. Nice win this week. Udog has been really lucky

      • Kid A says:
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        @J-FOH: Hopefully I can parlay this win into something respectable. I’ve got my fingers crossed that you dump gooroo on his ass. We need to start leveling some of these flukey bastards.
        I can’t imagine it’s fun placing your hopes and dreams in the Josh Freeman experiment for a win this week. Bleh…

  20. Phil says:
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    Does James have the job or can it change to leonard? Who would be the best choice ?

Comments are closed.