Handcuff Report, Week 12: A Salute To Ahmad Bradshaw

With the fantasy football gods feasting on the blood, bones, and ligaments of running backs almost weekly, how did Ahmad Bradshaw make it this long? Bradshaw is so injury prone, Jordan Reed pities the Colts rusher. It seems like just when you begin to trust Bradshaw, he always gets hurt. Well, at least we had several weeks this season where he was trusted and startable. We should be thankful for that. I wonder at this point if we’ve seen the last of him. He’s 29 and seems to have broken nearly every bone in his body in the past three seasons. Too bad, I always felt he had one of the better skill sets when it came to being an effective rusher and receiver. Ahmad Bradshaw, we here at the Handcuff Report salute you for your many years of service as a handcuff. Stay fuzzy sweet prince…

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Dan Herron – Prior (Or Pryor?!?) to Bradshaw going down I knew two things about “Boom”. First, he was involved in the jersey-gate with Terrelle Pryor at The Ohio State University. Second, he was pretty good in 2010 for the Buckeyes. Other than that, I knew nothing. I sort of even forgot he was in the NFL, and I write a weekly post about handcuffs. So I don’t have much to go on. I did pick him up in a few leagues where I owned Bradshaw, but I’m not expecting much. His value really comes down to how bad Trent Richardson sucks.

Trent Richardson – I understand that Trent can be a steaming pile of elephant dung, and that you can’t trust him. Well sorry kids, but you may have to. Going forward T-Pain will be getting an avalanche of touches. When you get to this point of the year, where you’re gearing up for the playoffs, workload pays the bills. He’s also been a solid receiver out of the backfield throughout his career, so he could have serious PPR value. Imagine a world where Richardson is a must own back. I’m laughing so hard, I farted…

 Latavius Murray – He had 112 yards, and Two touchdowns, on 4 carries last night. Most of which came on a 90 yard dash. Unfortunately he then went down with a concussion. Otherwise, who knows what we would have seen for final numbers. Marcel Reece got some work later in the fourth, for what that’s worth. If Murray passes concussion protocol, and is good to go next week, he’s a great ROS buy.

Ben Tate – Wow..didn’t see that one coming. This Cleveland backfield, from a fantasy perspective, is a puzzle, within a mystery, wrapped in a riddle. That makes no sense in a reality perspective…..Regardless, Tate was picked up by the Vikings on Wednesday. It will be interesting to see how this effects Jerick McKinnon‘s value going forward. McKinnon can’t seem to catch a break, between Matt Asiata‘s TD vulturing ways and now this.

Isaiah Crowell – Pick him up, though he shouldn’t be available any longer, I think this guy is breaking out. He attacks the line like Marshawn Lynch. That’s really who he reminds me of. Maybe I’m wrong but I see the new beast mode. Watch Crowell this week and tell me different.

Fuzzy Handcuffs 

These guys are fun, fun, fun! Not for everyday use but good to own, and a blast when they’re in the mix. We may wish for a bit more run but have to accept that they’re splitting time and getting the most of their opportunities. Most of these handsome devils could probably be studs if given the chance.

Standard Issue Police

Whether you’re in the back of a squad car or sitting on the corner while the Po-Po search your whip, you’re going nowhere. Do you know why? Because those things are locked on your wrists with a death grip. Much like those cuffs, these running backs are firmly locked into their positions. Not for a lack of ability, but because the starters are firmly entrenched in their roles. These backs could have value on any given week but more than likely you’ll need an injury to make these guys startable.

Duct Tape Cuffs

These are of the homemade variety, you’ll use them in a pinch (i.e the starting stud goes down) but they’re always in your drawer (wavier wire) ready to step in and do their job. It may be to the bare minimum degree but they can buy you some time.

Thanks for reading and Happy Handcuffing!

Don’t forget to send me all your Running Back Questions on twitter @ralphlifshitzbb.