Handcuff Report, Week 14: Grice Lightning

Can I tell you that due to the title of this post, I get some of the kinkiest followers on Twitter? Let’s just say I didn’t realize the “handcuff market” was so vast and expansive. Because these people are following me and supporting my efforts here, I feel it only necessary to give them a shout out. To all the weird fetish sites that obviously have never read a word of my writing, thanks for the follow and keep up the good work!

Now onto business, lots of handcuffs to discuss due to some evolving situations in Phoenix, Cleveland, Minnesota, and New Orleans…

Marion Grice –  With Andre Ellington more than likely on the sidelines this week. It looks as though Ray Rice‘s alter-ego, Marion Grice, will get the start. Just to be clear he is nothing like Rice, I just think his name sounds like a bad alias. Truthfully I don’t know a ton/anything about Grice. I know he was drafted by the Chargers, then cut in camp, and I’ve read that he’s supposedly a strong contributor in the passing game. As for how much work he’ll see compared to backfield mates Stepfan Taylor and newly acquired, off the street, Michael Bush, I don’t know. Regardless I think Grice and Bush are both worthy adds. Bush could have value ROS, but only if Grice fails. Which makes the rookie from Arizona State the man to add. He’s still only 8% owned in Yahoo Leagues so he’s widely available. Go pick him up, I’ll wait….

Terrance West – The Browns backfield this season is like a movie with 16 alternate endings. This week Isaiah Crowell is listed as questionable with a hip injury. So the question on everyone’s mind is “If everyone hates Fruit Cake, why do people still give it as a gift during the holidays?” Oops, that’s wrong…I meant to say “will this create some opportunity for Terrance West?” It should be noted that Crowell fully expects to play. If that’s the case I wouldn’t expect the workload to improve much from last week’s 17-7 carry split, that went in Crowell’s favor. On the off chance Crowell tweaks something and sits, I’d grab West and stash. He’s your classic precautionary handcuff. I use the same tactic on the cocktail waitresses I keep in my basement when I go to work. Don’t worry I’m kidding….or am I?

Reggie Bush – Things I dislike more than Reggie Bush. Country Music, things filled with jelly (i.e Jelly donuts), fat Kristie Alley, and people who pronounce the word niche like neeeeeeessshhh. That last one really gets me. As for the O.G Mr. Kim Kardashian, he looks to be back this week to suck some value away from Joique Bell just in time for the playoffs. Bell was just starting to get rolling too. It’s possible he takes in the same workload as Theo Riddick his first week back, but more than likely he’ll get a few more touches with Riddick still in the mix. What I’m saying is, his return could mean 4-5 less touches for the emerging Bell. This is great because I was only relying on Bell in several first round playoff matchups. DAMN YOU FANTASY GODS! Why have thy forsaken me?

Matt Asiata – Jerick McKinnon is listed as doubtful for this week’s matchup with the Jets. McKinnon apparently has the timing of Diarrhea in the 9th inning. Way to screw all your faithful owners now Jerick, building momentum for next year I see. As for Asiata, we know who he is. He’s a between the tackles plodder with touchdown dependent value. With the way Ben Tate has been used thus far, I’d expect Asiata to see a sizable workload.

Pierre Thomas – Rejoice everyone, it’s the holiday season and the Saints backfield is once again a muddled mess for fantasy purposes. Last week Thomas returned in what was good for the Saints, bad for Mark Ingram owners. PT was back in his old role as the receiving threat out of the backfield. With Khiry Robinson returning this week I’d expect to see Ingram’s massive workload dwindle back to early season levels. He’ll still have value, but 30 touches a week going forward is unlikely.

Fuzzy Handcuffs 

These guys are fun, fun, fun! Not for everyday use but good to own, and a blast when they’re in the mix. We may wish for a bit more run but have to accept that they’re splitting time and getting the most of their opportunities. Most of these handsome devils could probably be studs if given the chance.

Standard Issue Police

Whether you’re in the back of a squad car or sitting on the corner while the Po-Po search your whip, you’re going nowhere. Do you know why? Because those things are locked on your wrists with a death grip. Much like those cuffs, these running backs are firmly locked into their positions. Not for a lack of ability, but because the starters are firmly entrenched in their roles. These backs could have value on any given week but more than likely you’ll need an injury to make these guys startable.

Duct Tape Cuffs

These are of the homemade variety, you’ll use them in a pinch (i.e the starting stud goes down) but they’re always in your drawer (wavier wire) ready to step in and do their job. It may be to the bare minimum degree but they can buy you some time.

Thanks for reading and Happy Handcuffing!

Don’t forget to send me all your Running Back Questions on twitter @ralphlifshitzbb.