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Greetings all! It is I, Tehol Beddict, here to help you win your fantasy title. Unlike Beyonce faking a pregnancy or the rapper ‘Rick Ross’, everything I say and do is real. Yes, I told many of you to start Denario Alexander last week and he dropped a goose egg. OK, I have no answer for that. It won’t happen again…….I think not anyway. All I can do is write what these players should do agains the competition they face. Am I the one tackling Calvin Johnson at the 1 yard line on a weekly basis? Am I inside Josh Freeman’s pitiful mind, forcing him into disgraceful play? Negative on both counts. My chicken and I thank you for not verbally abusing me on the comment section, though if you decide to do so, I give you this warning: I am able to trace your comments and my chicken and I will come knocking on your door. He’s a vicious little cock. I’m lying. We will do no such thing. I’m pathetic actually. Small children laugh at me and if I did manage to track you down all that would happen is a emasculating beat down upon myself with my chicken more than likely ending up as your dinner. Forgive me, I’ve said too much. Or have I? I don’t even know anymore. Just read this please.

Brandon Lloyd- 10 receptions for 190 yards on 16 targets. “Look at the butt on that one. He must work out.” Oh yes, B. Lloyd looks like he’s been hitting that eliptical harder than a 45 year old soccer mom trying to sweat off those weed brownies she consumed, trying to eliminate some of the misery that comes along with having delinquent  kids and a husband who would rather hit on the waitress at TGI Fridays then pay an ounce of attention to her. Harsh but true. I, Tehol Beddict, thought Lloyd would have a huge year. He has most certainly not, up until last week anyway. If he’s on your playoff roster I’m sure you’re not too upset about it. Try and temper your expectations a tad for Lloyd this week against the Jags though, as your best hope is for an early score, as it could be blowout city. Chad Henne is Jacksonville’s QB by the way. It could be 21-0 before the Pats even touch the rock. Get on your knees and pray.

Adrian Peterson- 24 carries for 212 yards and 1 td, o receptions for 0 yards. Well, it’s safe to say A.P. was the steal of most fantasy drafts, falling to the 3rd round in many a draft. Possibly breaking the rushing record less than a year off of major surgery? Amazing. If he goes for over 130 this week or scores more than 1 td this week I will shave my head and walk the streets in shame. What does that mean exactly? It means that I’m predicating a less than stellar performance against a nice Houston run defense, as I fully expect them to make Ponder beat them. I assume the Texans coaching staff isn’t at inept as the Rams people. He’s ranked number one again in every ranking I’ve witnessed, but not mine my friends. Not mine!

Doug Martin- 9 carries for 16 yards 3 receptions for 19 yards on 5 targets. Hey Doug, thanks for dropping 65 on my head against the Raiders then turning back into the gerbil I knew you truly were. Please crawl back up Richard Gere’s butt and stay there permanently. Take Josh Freeman with you.

Demaryius Thomas- 4 recpetions for 13 yards on 9 targets- longest was 5 yards? Hey bud, what happened? Like a porn star suffering from obesity, clogged blood vessels, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, and alcohol abuse. In a word: LIMP! If you made it through the semi’s with him(I’m guessing you did not), then expect a big bounce back performance against the Browns this week. It’s the least he can do. Even my chicken hates him now and that’s one cock you don’t want angry. He will peck your eyes out. I’ve seen it!

Beanie Wells- 17 carries for 67 yards and 3 tds 0 catches for 0 yards. The bean man giveth and the bean man taketh away. Starting him against the Lions is one thing. Starting him against the Bears is quite another. Don’t get cute unless you have no other option.

DeMarco Murray- 14 carries for 81 yards with a td and 4 receptions for 31 yards on 4 targets- Murray is my favorite running back and shares a common last name with a fantasy legend I know extremely well. If you haven’t noticed, the Cowboys resurgence has come with Murray coming back from injury. The man has heart, and with heart comes many fantasy points, especially against a horrific saints run defense. Expect 25 minimum from this injury prone stallion.

Aaron Hernandez – 10 receptions for 92 yards for 1 td on 19 targets. 19 targets???? My God, I miss Gronk. Sweet, sweet Gronk. Hernandez is fantasy caviar without Gronkowski in his way, and oh how I love fish eggs. I fully expect Hernandez to score a TD this week. Be thankful for Gronk’s injury. I’m certainly not.

Wes Welker- 5 receptions for 56 yards on 9 targets. Is it just me or did little Welkie look like a peon against the San Francisco? Seriously, that performance was more of a let down than finding out John Travolta was gay. I’m sorry did I say “was gay”? I meant, John Travolta is gay. Pray to Allah for a bounce back performance against the pathetic Jags.

Michael Crabtree- 7 receptions for 107 yards with 2 tds on 12 targets. With my main man Kaepernick manning the QB position like a legend, Crabtree has emerged as a bonafide threat. Going against the Seahawks in Seattle this week should be a much tougher task but would I be shocked if Crabs ended up dancing in the end zone on Sunday Night Football? I would not be.

Stevan Ridley- 9 carries for 23 yards and 0 receptions on 2 targets. Ridley seems to be doing everything in his power to lose his job to a five foot two white dude, but I’m expecting a monster week. I may be biased since I own him in the ‘Razzball Writers League,” and I somehow made the finals despite that pathetic performance. Make sure you all show support for me winning the title as I could sure use the money. Wait, my assistant(my drug dealer) just informed me that there is no money involved. What kind of scam is this? Either way, I’m going to let you, the readers, decide who to start in my wr/rb slot this week: LeSean McCoy or Josh Gordon. Please don’t let me down or I will be forced to hunt you down and slaughter you like dogs, leaving your bodies to decompose in the gutter. Too much??

Thanks for reading ladies and gentlemen. As always, your questions will be answered promptly and with professional insight, as I do this for a living. True, I’m dead broke, but I’m rich in love. Sorry, that’s a lie. The only love I have is from my chicken and my dealer and that’s most likely related to the fact they are the real winners in me winning countless fantasy titles, while I’m left with the bed sheet I’m forced to wear as clothing. It will be fashionable one day, I’m sure of it. Good luck.

From Around The Web

  1. HP2 says:
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    One more win to collect a pay day lineup help a non ppr league
    QB need 1
    Rodgers
    Kaepernick
    WR need 3
    Ju. Jones
    C. Shorts
    D. Alexander
    T. Smith
    C. Givens
    RB need 2
    T. Richardson
    R. Bush
    C. Johnson
    J. Forsett
    TE need 1
    Myers
    Gates
    Available waiver wire pickups are WR Avant, RB Ingram, Powell

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @HP2: Greetings! Julio, Torrey, Givens all getting long ones this week. Bush has a chance for his best game of the season. Prob gotta go Cj with other spot. Got to go Gates. Best of luck to you sir

  2. Hooverville says:
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    Alright I’ve got to choose between T. Richardson vs DEN or V. Ballard vs. KC as my flex

    The way I see it playing is DEN goes up big early and the Browns have to play catch-up, limiting T-Rich’s fantasy pts. In the other game, I see Indy going up early and just running the ball.
    I’m thinking of playing Ballard over T-Rich given my logic above. What are your thoughts? Which would you go with and why?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Hooverville: Your logic is quite sound though T-rich could get a cheap score or 2 possibly. I’m ballard’s biggest fan and have no problem starting him other then the fact they refuse to give him the ball at the goal line, which I truly don’t understand since he looks like he’d be perfect for the job. I like Ballard as well and absolutely feel like he gets a td this week

  3. Jim says:
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    Hi Tehol,

    Long time listener, first time caller. I was wondering what your real name is? My friend say’s he writes this blog, but I think he is a fucking lier. Thank you Tehol.

    Jim

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Jim: “THE JIMMER?” Hello good sir if you’re the same one with smoking hot girlfriend and the crazy vegas trips then yes it is Tehol. Who did you think it was. Keep coming back

  4. barker says:
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    8 team championship round 1/2 ppr

    QB brady RB peterson richardson WR dez colston garcon TE t gonz Flex CJ2K K tynes DEF NE

    bench fitz jennings leshore alexander green bay

    leshore over any of those RBs ?? danario over dez? garcon? stick with tynes after a -1 performance?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @barker: You are good to go my friend. There is no stopping that lineup and I give you my personal guarantee of victory. Triple stamped it. TYNEs should be ok

  5. Whampwhamp says:
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    Bilal Powell or Montell Owens? Hah it looks ugly but if you had to pick one.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Whampwhamp: OMG son! Yep I just dropped an OMG on ya. Wow man maybe jets will give Powell an extended look since season over and game should be closer. I suppose is have to go Powell this week

  6. Ryan says:
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    In championship..starting Rodgers…but saw that weather will be in 20s with snow on ground?
    Would u bench him and start Kaepernick?
    Or is that over thinking it?
    Standard league
    Thanks

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Ryan: I am starting Kappy the God but I don’t have another option. Can’t bench A rodge

  7. Nick says:
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    I’m thinking of rolling with Bradford against TB defense and benching Stafford against Atl. I agree with play your studs, but Stafford has been less than a stud this year and has almost no one to throw to (except some Calvin guy). Who would you start in your title game?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nick: I like where your head is at, though I’m not positive i could do this. I believe they should score similarly and you are right that Bradford has more upside this week. Go head make a splash big dog

  8. TRON says:
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    TB!

    Pitta or Bennett (playing eachother)

    pick one..no PPR
    Ingram
    Tate
    J.Quiz
    Alex Green
    Powell
    (fyi: the rest of the team is good…lol)

    THANK$!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @TRON: Bennett and jaaaaquiiiz. BOOM ! Championship lock it up brotha. You got this. I believe in you

  9. Lambeau Leap says:
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    Need some advice (please!):

    SEA or SD defense this week? Seattle is so good, but they play the equally good (probably better) Niners, while San Diego gets the awful Jets….

    Also, some TE/FLEX help (PPR league): B. Myers, O. Daniels, G. Olsen, or D. Pitta (I went a little crazy on the waiver wire TE options and now I can’t decide who to start). As for FLEX, do I start a 2nd TE over DeAngelo Williams (who has been pretty good and plays the Raiders)?

    Thanks so much!!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Lambeau Leap: greetings! Not starting SEAHAWKS d is tough and the chargers do have excellent matchup and they definitely dominated me like I was a school boy against steelers few weeks back but stick with hawks who have more upside. Sanchez isn’t playing so I doubt we see 5 picks. As for the tight ends u have quite a selection there. I wanted to say Olsen or pitta but I say Daniels is due. And yes keep that boy DeAngelo in the starting lineup.

  10. Abe says:
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    Happy Holidays TB! Fantasy sure has its ups and down. Was handed the last place team from the 2011 season in a 14-man keeper standard league (can keep up to 4 players). Took your advice this season and road to 1st place into a bye week for the playoffs. It was all good until I hit week 15 :P

    Week 15 started off awesome with Cinci D/ST scoring 21 pts. Only to have the rest of my starting roster contribute an additional 20 points lead by marquee players: Martin, Rice, Wayne, Demaryius Thomas and DNX . :) Oh well, fantasy sure has its ups and downs.

    Regardless, still vying for the third place prize. A few roster questions to ask:

    1.) Which quarterback should I ride fo this week? Carson Palmer or Nick Foles.
    2.) Any changes to the rest of my lineup: Martin, Rice, Wayne, D. Thomas, and Vick Ballard as my FLEX. Have DNX and Dwyer on the bench.

    Again, that’s for all your help.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Abe: happy holidays to you as well my friend! So sorry to hear about last weeks duds. Looks like an all star team and they all bricked. It always hurts. I know the feeling well. I like your lineup as is though you could go Dwyer or Ballard as I like both. Thanks for reading and again sorry for the tough loss but your a fighter I can tell and you will be back big dog!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Abe: and maybe Palmer for last hurrah?!

  11. Coach says:
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    Has anybody helped you with your flex yet? Shady McCoy all the way! He’s gonna get more touches than people think… start him with confidence :-)

    oh… wait.. what? he was kidding? Oh, I see…

    nevermind…

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Coach: josh Gordon will be burning champ like toast all day long but yes I’m going to start McCoy. Thanks for you’re input. It was much needed

  12. gmatt21 says:
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    schaub or stafford!? i started schaub over stafford last week and it paid off

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @gmatt21: tough call. U could stick with what workin as I think schaub has potential for a big week

  13. jason batteiger says:
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    somehow made finals, PPR league with equal pts for return yards (10 yards per pt). Which one of these RB’s
    D.Williams (quite well last 2 weeks due to 1 big play per week)
    D.Wilson (if no Bradshaw he’s probably better due to KR yards, but lumpkin and royster will steal carries)
    Reynaud (only gets KR and PR yards)
    Bell (can’t count on reps)
    Battle (probably sharing carries on terrible run offense). I’m thinking Williams likely best here.
    And one which of these WR’s
    Streater, Kerley (Sanchez finally out, only reason he’s still on roster for this occurance; also gets PR yards), McCluster, or waiver guy like Avery,Roberts,Hawkins (used him last week, YUK).
    Also i’m assuming it’s silly to even fathom that SD or ARI DEF’s would be better than SEA DEF at home this week.
    Thanks.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @jason batteiger: hello there good sir! David WIlson mos def without bradshaw, williams second. Got to go with the Seattle Defense. Of all the waiver guys I like Avery the best. Kerley should have ok game and the punt return yards are nice. streater number 2. best of luck to you my friend

  14. Disco says:
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    Happy mayan apocalypse day… DeAngelo Williams, Joique Bell or Maclin for flex… start TE Dallas Clark vs STL or pick up Brandon Myers, Dwayne Allen, Tamme or Marcedes Lewis instead? Keep rolling with Bengals D at Pitt? Or start Panthers D vs Oak

    Thanks man… good luck!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Disco: Pitt d this week I feel it deep in my soul. DeAngelo Williams and Myers. You got this bro

  15. Corey says:
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    E. Sanders or Jeffery at WR3 this week.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Corey: go Jeffrey he gonna get a td baby. I smell it

  16. Hotrod says:
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    PPR – Need to fill RB, RB, RB/WR & WR, who is the odd man out?

    Forte, Richardson, Steven Jackson, Wallace & Dez….tough choice.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Hotrod: Jackson is odd man out my friend. Get a win for me big dog

  17. Kyle says:
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    I have a couple of tough calls this week.. please help
    choose 3 running backs….
    1- Marshawn Lynch
    2- Alfred Morris
    3- Matt Forte
    4- Reggie Bush
    choose 2 wide recievers
    1- Reggie Wayne
    2- Brandon Lloyd
    3- Marques Colston

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Kyle: shit man i did not see this until now. i think they all had stellar games other than Lloyd. im guessing you won? i truly apologize for this

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