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Is there anything better then NFL football? Well, maybe NFL football with NFL referees, but hey, it’s not stopping me from watching. How has this sport not caught on worldwide? Truly befuddling. But who cares about any other countries? This is America baby. We don’t do Royal families (though the Kardashians are close). We don’t do soccer(ok some do, but I certainly don’t), and we most certainly don’t do this. Ok, so at one point America was brainwashed by these Canadians, but that time has long passed. What we do do, are awesome things like Cream cheese hot dogs, use ice cubes, and watch and play football, the greatest sport there ever was. Is there such a thing as fantasy soccer? If there is, I praise Jesus that I’m not involved.

I will admit, that most if not all the advice I gave in the comment section turned out to be atrocious, but everyone deserves a second chance. I, Tehol Beddict, pledge to never fail you again, promising to serve you to the best of my ability in all things fantasy and in life. Brothers and sisters unite, and follow me to glory. Make the non-razzball reading peasants bow down to your supremacy. Titles are out there for the taking. Bragging rights and in some cases, towering amounts of cash are there to be had. Let no man or woman forget how menacing we(razzball subscribers) are! We are lions! Immortality: Take it! It’s yours!

That was fun. Now, let’s take a gander at some Jean Claude Van-Dammish hard targets (what ever happened to this dude who used to do the voice on all the film trailers? He is missed), as I try and point out some trends for the weeks to come.

Brian Hartline – 9 catches for 111 yards on 12 targets. B-Hart had an easier time getting first downs on 3rd and nine, than R. Kelly finding teenage girls to pee on from Myspace. Seriously, what percentage of the of the female population has at least one time, been urinated upon, by this lyrical genius? My guess is somewhere between 8-12 percent. Can you blame them? The man is legendary. Kellz should bottle his urine and sell it worldwide. Probably enough THC and Cristal to keep you loaded for a week.

Enough about the father of R&B. Let’s talk about Hartline. It was funny, because before the game I was talking to my friend D-Rich, and letting him know that Hartline was going to end my betting season, as I bet three hundred buckaroos on the Raiders. Only, I was joking. I’ve made fun of this guy for years and have no clue how he’s a starting wideout in the NFL. Oh wait, yes I do. It’s because the Dolphins are the most talentless bunch of scrubs in football. Well, now it seems the joke is on me, and my lock of the week cost me my rent money, and I’m not writing this from my cousin’s garage, stealing an internet signal from the neighbors. To be honest, it’s not my cousin, it’s just some chronic relapser, running a meth lab I met in A.A.

Most of Hartline’s production came on simple 10 yard out routes, but to be fair he made a couple of impressive catches. I’ve never seen such terrible defense by a defensive back in all my years, but Hartline could still easily be started in your fantasy lineups when you have some guys on bye weeks or injury problems. He should continue to receive a minimum of 7-8 targets a game, and maybe, just maybe, this great white hope will come through for you………God, I hate this guy.

Chris Johnson – 8 carries for 17 yards and 3 targets for 11 yards receiving. Bust city, bust, bust city trick! The epic downfall of this once prolific running back continues. I’d rather have my testicles waxed at a nail salon then own this disgrace. Johnson’s descent falls somewhere between that of Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes proportions. There are whispers saying that CJ-no fantasy play could possibly be replaced in the lineup by  the tremendous Javon Ringer. This is like Larry Johnson all over again. I suppose you have to start him if he is on your roster, depending one who your backups are, but it might be smart to see what you can get for him at this point. What’s next for CJ? Most likely, a positive drug test, and I’m not speaking of the performance enhancing type.

Danny Amendola – 15 catches for 160 yards, 1 touchdown on 16 targets. First off, I’d like to thank Sky for starting this spunky little guy against me, as it gave me the idea to pick him up in another league to replace Garcon. Secondly I’d like to say that starting Amendola was the difference in me winning my matchup last week. Sadly I can’t say the same for Sky as I moved to 2-0 in the Razzball writers league.

Dola has been a semi-hot fantasy name for years and it all comes down to him staying healthy. As you can see, when the man is going at full throttle, he is Bradford’s favorite target. After an early fumble, Bradford immediately came back to him and did not stop until the game was won. If you happened to pick him up last week, kudos to you, as Amendola burst onto the fantasy scene like Mickey Rourke in The Pope Of Greenwich VillageHey Mickey, don’t let anyone tell you that your plastic surgeries have ruined your  rugged good looks. You look great bud………………yikes. P.S. Daryl Hannah was in that movie. Where the hell is she at? Anyone with a clue please email me at IdontReallyCareAndNeverFoundHerHot@hotmail.com.

Darren McFadden - 11 carries for 22 yards and 2 catches for 19 yards on 7 targets. Having D-mac as your starting tailback and not letting him tote the pigskin, is like having Danny Almonte on your little league team and not allowing him to pitch. When you take into account the fact that McFadden is not of an illegal age to play running back in the NFL, it’s even more mind boggling.

So the Raiders are in a close battle for the first half and a quarter of this football game, and McFadden is not even being given the chance to break a long run? Coach Allen would rather let the man formerly known as Carson Palmer, throw askew all afternoon? Did I mention I bet 300 dollars on the Raiders? And that I’m now writing in a meth lab?

On a high note, McFadden received 7 targets in the passing game and will be continually used in this manner. Hopefully, for your sake, if your betting on the Raiders, he doesn’t take a ball off his chest plate, that he easily would have scored on. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy???????

Malcolm Floyd – 6 catches for 109 on 8 targets. Just as Bill Gates has separated himself from the rest of the pack of the billionaire’s club, Floyd has separated himself from the rest of the Chargers wideouts. Then again, Gates has been on top of that list for years, but then again Floyd has flashed talent for years. It’s just about him staying healthy. As of now, this big speedster should be a must start in all leagues. Robert Meachem continues to disappoint and I would avoid at all cause unless desperate. A TD or two next week would not surprise me. Then again I thought there was no way the Raiders would lose last week. Did I mention I lost my life savings on them?

Larry Fitzgerald – 1 catch for 4 yards on 5 targets. When I saw these disgusting statistics, I was sure that Fitz must have been injured in the first 5 minutes of the game. It turns out that 1) The Cardinals offense is gross and 2) that opposing defenses are throwing everything they have at this Pitt product. Obviously, it’s virtually impossible to keep a man with this testicular fortitude down forever, and he proved last season he could still put up big numbers without an AFL caliber starting QB on his team. Expect a bounce back week, but you can’t be feeling to hot about about drafting this guy in the second round right now. Until further notice, bench him for Andre Roberts. Undoubtedly, that was a joke.

Brent Celek – 8 catches for 157 on 11 targets. What a splendid sight it was to see my personal friend have a big day. If you’ve forgotten, I interviewed Celly-Cell, live and in color, before the season started for a DirecTV product push. Well, technically Celek wasn’t pictured, as he couldn’t get the sound to work, so he had to call in by phone. That certainly doesn’t take anything away from our relationship though.

With both of Philly’s starting receivers banged up, Celek got a major boost in targets. He most surely did not disappoint. There is a chance that Maclin doesn’t play at all this week so there is a high probability of continued excellence, especially agains a tough cardinals pass defense. Gronk got his in against them. Look for Celek to do the same. Brent if you’re reading this, Call me! Let’s do Red Lobster.

Fred Davis – 2 catches for 14 yards on 5 targets. “Right Said Fred” has been one of biggest letdowns in fantasy this season. The thought of him being a bailout for RG3 was music to my ears and I expected a huge season. A top 5 tight end season even. Two flaccid performances and a possible concussion have me looking for other options. Is Chris Cooley available? I’ve apparently misread what I expected Shanahan to do this season(shocking, I know), as they seem content on trying to get the ball to no-name receivers instead of force feeding this proven horse. In dealing with any Redskins players, minus RG3 of course, you must be like a midget at a urinal. Stay on your toes.

I hope the editor has caught any grammatical errors this week that I may have made as I am an artist, not an editor. The criticism from one reader last week, regarding my use of then instead of than and a your instead of a you’re hurt me deeply, and right now I just can’t take anymore pain. His criticism and the Raiders bankrupting me financially and emotionally have put me in a dark place. Literally. I could really use a friend right now.. Celek, hit me up bud! It will be just like old times, just without the annoying Andrew Siciliano.

Until next week. I’ll be back…..Hopefully.

 

57 Responses

  1. TheTinDoor says:
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    Fitzgerald – “Expect a bounceback week”. Well of course he’s not going to go 1-catch, 5 yards again…but I wouldn’t expect vintage Fitz this week. Philly can be very tough against #1 WRs (see: Asomugha, Nnamdi).

    I could see a 5 catch, 60 yard game; I’d target him as a buy-low at that point, as his owners will likely be quite concerned after 3 consecutive down weeks.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @TheTinDoor, Asomugha? He hasn’t been relevant since signing there but yes obviously it was obvious, but the point is to point out amounts of targets. I felt it was worth mentioning. Thank you for your advice. I need every bit of it

  2. Tim says:
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    Thoughts on Kenny Britt? someone just dropped him today onto waivers
    I could drop A Hawkins for him?
    standard league.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Tim, oooooooh Hawkins had that incredible td reception last week and they may look to get him more involved but Britt is a proven beast, granted coming of injury. Hawkins would probably be a pretty risky play every week. Pick up Britt and see what he does this week.
      Yours truly,
      Tehol

  3. nugjuice says:
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    Good afternoon Mr. Beddict,

    If I were you. I mean, if you were me, who would you play at flex in a full ppr league…A. Morris or W. Welker? Also have Pettigrew or Witten and it’s turning out to be a tough choice. Once Witten gets healthy I plan on shopping one around. Rest of lineup looks like this:
    QB: M. Ryan
    RB: A. Foster
    RB/WR: D. Sproles
    RB/WR: Morris/Welker
    WR: Percy Harvin
    TE: Pettigrew/Witten
    K: Who cares
    Def: Bengals (Don’t like them for this week but next 3 in a row is what I drafted them for)

    Thanks dog

    • nugjuice says:
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      @nugjuice, p.s. funny article. I lol’d at the Lindsay Lohan reference. Then I lol’d again just now when I wrote that.

      • nugjuice says:
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        @nugjuice, oh and the r. kelly peeing. Pure comic genius. I promise this is the last time I reply to my own post.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @nugjuice, feel free to comment as many times as you’d like nugjuice. Anytime I emotionally reach a reader, I like to hear about it. Thank you for your kind words.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @nugjuice, Well hello Mr/Ms. Nugjuice. I’d prob go with Welker. They no longer have Hernandez so they may tone down the 2 tight end sets. Welker desperately needs to score, and I’m not talking off the field. He’s in the NFL for god’s sake. I’m sure the nani is thrown in his face daily. The bengals got pounded last week on the ground but I like Welk for 2 scores. prob on and off the field

      • nugjuice says:
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        @Tehol Beddict, hahaha well for Welker’s sake, I hope you’re right. I was leaning the same direction esp considering his late game usage was heartening after they figured out a truly amazing thing: That Brady just loves throwing to his favorite boy toy. These trade rumors get me all squishy though. I can’t help but wonder how much his and Brady’s success is affected by their manlove

        • nugjuice says:
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          @nugjuice, I also don’t want to fall into the trap of benching my 3rd round stud over a couple bad games only to watch him go off on my bench. Ultimately, the Pats will do what works, and we already know Brady-Welker works! Thanks again for advice. Look forward to reading more during the season

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @nugjuice, My nug, don’t trip. As you stated, Brady loves Welker, and though he hasn’t said it publicly, is probably disgusted by the way his little buddy is being treated and will try and get him that big game at all costs. Your making the right call……….I’m pretty sure

          • nugjuice says:
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            @Tehol Beddict, Hey let me run one more thing by you – as the lucky owner of CJ Spiller in two leagues (including one where I was screwed at RB week 1 and actually STARTED him – how many ppl can say that?) I’ve been thinking about offering him to the Fred Jackson owners for the price of a 1st or 2nd rd rb who may be underperforming – both teams happen to have DMac so he is who I was thinking. Situation could get murky once FJax comes back and the dude is a freak and already playing full contact on his wife and running the field. He might be willing to lock up Bills RB situation for the peace of mind. Any thoughts on this?

            • nugjuice says:
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              @nugjuice, one of the leagues I have Mathews/Morris/Jstew so not beautiful. Other I have CJ0K/K Smith/P Thomas so even worse. Ppr with 2 flex so only have to start 1 rb

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @nugjuice, That might not be a bad idea. Spiller is a monster, but yes Jackson will take away from that somewhat, but I can’t imagine them taking away too many touches. But if you can get a full on elite back for him, you could and I wouldn’t tell you not to

  4. Old Man Rigney says:
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    Looking for thoughts on a trade, if you Razzballers would be so kind.

    14 team – PPR -1QB – 2RB – 3WR – 1 TE – 1 W/R/T – 4 bench spots- waivers are a barren wasteland

    I have:
    WR: Pierre Garcon, Lance Moore, Amendola, Meachem
    RB: DMC, Sproles, Ryan Mathews, Benson
    TE: Kyle Rudolph, Martellus Bennett

    proposed trade:
    his: Larry Fitzgerald + Aaron Hernandez
    for my: DMC + Kyle Rudolph

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Old Man Rigney, It depends on how much you value Fitz. U have bennett as tight end so trading away rudolph is no problem at all. sproles and mathews will be good especially in ppr where sproles is a God. the raiders look horrible and DMC is injury prone. Go ahead and pull that trigger as ur wideouts aren’t cutting the cheese or is that mustard? Thanks for reading .

  5. Mr2Bits says:
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    PPR Keeper league and was just offered the following trade:

    My Forte

    For his

    Willis McGahee
    Malcolm Floyd
    Rashard Mendenhall

    I just lost Bradshaw and am running Hillis/DMac as my backs with Roddy/A.Johnson/Crabtree as my WR with Avery as my flex.

    Very interesting trade and would like to get your thoughts

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Mr2Bits, all depends on if Floyd stays healthy, cuz when he is, he is the real deal and Willis looks great. Seeing that Forte is already banged up and is not a goal line threat, I’d probably pull the trigger. No clue what Mendenhall’s future holds. good luck my friend. Godspeed and tell them Tehol Beddict sent you

      • Mr2Bits says:
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        @Tehol Beddict, What about if I countered for Floyd/M. Wallace and McGahee and remove Mendenhall from this whole mess?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Mr2Bits, ummmmm well if he would consider that then hell yes. Wallace is a huge upgrade from mendenhall though, but maybe he wants forte badly. When i get my sights on a player I sometimes give up to much as I become obsessed. get it done

          • Mr2Bits says:
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            @Tehol Beddict, Yea he has already told me he is looking to build for next year as he missed his draft….he wants Forte bad so we will see

          • Mr2Bits says:
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            @Tehol Beddict, Ok he proposed the following, yea or nay?

            His
            Willis McGahee
            Mike Wallace
            Malcom Floyd

            For My
            Donnie Avery
            Matt Forte

            My receivers would consist of the above mentioned and Maclin/A. Johnson/Crabtree/R. White and Bess with RB of Bradshaw/DMac/Hillis/McGahee/Wells

            Again the league is PPR with 3 WR 2 RB and flex

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Mr2Bits, yes!!! HURRY and pull trigger. Avery was waiver wire fodder a week ago. Do this now. thank you

  6. D Rich says:
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    Targets or No Targets I don’t do white recievers! When will there be a black kicker? You would think there would be alot since they love kicking people on the ground during fights.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @D Rich, interesting point D-RIch. I would assume there shall be a black PK at some point. I hope he’s tatted up and can be used in all phases of the offense.

  7. Eric says:
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    Great article,

    Let me get your opinion on this trade offer.

    PPR League
    QB – Romo
    RB – Rice
    RB – Spiller
    WR – Nicks
    WR – Brown
    TE – Bennett
    Flex – T. Richardson

    Bench: M. Bush, M. Floyd, A.Brown, R. Cobb, J. Locker

    Trade: M. Bush & A. Brown for Larry Fitz
    My Logic: I will not be able to use Bush based on my other RBs, I am high on A.Brown but I have Fitz higher valued than Brown.

    Should I pull the trigger on this?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Eric, YES!!!! HURRY BEFORE HE TAKES IT DOWN! Your team is nasty. This will take you to the title. HURRY!

  8. Stephanie says:
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    Your work continues to entertain me! I love reading your articles! When am I going to see you on camera????

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      Hopefully soon. Im setting up a home studio and trying to figure out the structure of the show. call ins? live guests? the possibilities are endless. I’m so glad you enjoy them so. Keep coming back

  9. Sky

    Sky says:
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    I agree with Stephanie. We’ve been hearing that Razzball was planning on doing a ‘Magic Mike’ sort of youtube show starring you. Is there any truth to this?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Sky, thats exactly what I was thinking. Really go after the female market. Hard

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        Green screen and throw the razzball logo in the background. Ladies will swoon from the size and girth of your fantasy football knowledge.

  10. Tylerdurden says:
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    Should I trade antonio brown and Kenny britt for fitz and Justin Blackmon?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Tylerdurden, Yes. I’d trade those two for Fitz straight up. Blackmon, I suppose, is a decent throw in but probably not a ton of value. Do the trade

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Tehol Beddict, P.S. do you still do Fight club?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Tylerdurden, I meant this to you Tyler. Do you still do fight club?

  11. johnrambojr says:
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    I’ve been offered (OAK)McFadden and (PIT )wr Brown for my Gore and Moore(NO)

    Thoughts?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @johnrambojr, Pull that trigggga. No doubt about it. McFadden has more upside then Gore, and they are both injury prone but Brown is 10 times the man Moore is

  12. EK says:
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    which side?

    marshawn & steve smith … mcgahee & nicks

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @EK, Marshawn and Smith sounds safer to me, though they both have had their issues off the field and staying healthy but Nicks was injured all offseason and missed todays game and Willis is old. I like them all though but would favor the first 2

  13. Moscowitz says:
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    Hey, would you drop any of these guys to add titus young?
    Avery, robinson, s.hill, fleener
    Thanks

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Moscowitz, i seriously doubt stephen hill will do much this year. He somehow had 2 first week I know, but he is very raw and santonio holmes cant even put up decent numbers in that offense. so year drop him or feel free to drop robinson if you want also. that passing game is a joke. I like avery and Fleener. TItus young looks useless thus far, but i say he picks it up a bit

  14. GeroniGerbronis says:
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    My TE is Plitta, Do I use my #2 waiver spot to gain Fred Davis????

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @GeroniGerbronis, Pitta has been one of the most targeted tight ends in the business and you got to keep riding this graceful beast. Fred Davis might be worth a waiver wire pick up to stash though. I once believed he was in store for great things.

  15. Eric says:
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    Thanks for the advice on the Fitzgerald trade the other day. One more trade offer is popping up.

    PPR League
    QB – Romo
    RB – Rice
    RB – Spiller
    WR – Nicks
    WR – L.Fitz
    TE – Bennett
    Flex – T. Richardson

    Bench: Andre Brown, M. Floyd, R. Cobb,

    Trade: R.Rice for Andre Johnson, Jamal Charles & D. Amendola

    My Logic: A. Johnson would become my flex and T. Richardson/J. Charles will move and rotate to my 2nd RB opposite spiller. Amendola will be a matchup play until I see more.

    Should I pull the trigger on this?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Eric, Oh yes! You will be absolutely stacked now. As long as Charles turns it around, this will be absolute steal and amendola is a ppr killer. Good work!

  16. georgewomping says:
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    Love the site guys. I am being offered McFadden for my Murray. Would you make this trade? You think DMC will come back and figure out the zone blocking? Thanks.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @georgewomping, They seem to have went pretty close to each other in the original draft and neither have had outstanding starts, though Murray’s has been better. Both injury plagued careers. It looks all bad in Oakland. I think both will be productive, and maybe Mcfadden has a 200 yard game this week, but I’m not buying unless i can get him for cheap. and Mr. Murray is not cheap

  17. Moscowitz says:
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    Hey Beddict, would you pick titus young and meachem ahead of robinson and hill? They are all bench options but a good bench could make the difference later in the season.

    What do you think of Dwyer btw? I know he will be close to useless once mendenhall returns. Is he worth a stash?

    Thanks

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Moscowitz, probably. Meachem let’s me down every god damn season it now seems FLoyd is entrenched as #1 wideout but I’m sure he’ll get hurt soon and Meachie will be forced into action. The upside of robinson and Hill is so small based on their offenses, whereas, with the lions you always have the chance of getting a td or a big day

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Moscowitz, Dwyer to me, is worth a stash as Ike has been pure garbage and Mendenhall could hurt himself whenever it is he comes back. Coach tomlin is not the type of dude to just play Mendenhall because he is the biggest name. If he is not good, Dwyer could be main guy by mid-season, so if you have room, by all means keep this ox on reserve

      • Moscowitz says:
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        @Tehol Beddict, and who would you drop to add Dwyer? Avery or Fleener?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Moscowitz, thats a very tough call as I like both those guys, but avery seems to be finally living up to potential. So depending on ur tight end situation probably drop fleenster

          • Moscowitz says:
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            @Tehol Beddict, yeah its really tough but this one is a one TE league and i am starting Tony Gonzalez and guys like Chandler, Myers and Miller are still FAs and people seem to drop and grab TEs based on matchups. So i guess dropping Fleener wouldnt hurt me as much as i thought it would. Right?

            Thanks a bunch

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Moscowitz, yea you are good to go. def like fleener down the road so keep an eye out and maybe grab him again. no problem bro. good luck

  18. Guru from Kzoo says:
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    Great site,

    I have CJ Spiller along with Ray Rice and Trent Richardson and I hear Fred Jackson could be back in the next few weeks. Can you give me the players that I should try to trade Spiller for? Should I shoot for Matt Stafford or Matt Ryan or go for a RB?

    PPR League

    QB – Romo
    RB – Rice
    RB – Spiller
    WR – Nicks
    WR – L.Fitz
    TE – Bennett
    Flex/QB/RB/WR/TE – T. Richardson

    Bench: Andre Brown, M. Floyd, R. Cobb

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