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With our fake football season winding down you are either in the playoffs, positioning yourself  for the sprint to the Shiva or crying Knowshon Moreno tears because you drafted Aaron Rodgers and Arian Foster. Need a hug? If you are in, congratulations. All those hours spent researching, analyzing stats and ignoring the family paid off. Cheers, I raise my whiskey glass to you. If you are out, all those hours spent researching, analyzing stats and ignoring the family were for naught. And your wife just served the divorce papers. There’s nothing like spending Christmas with your best friend Johnny Walker at the Motel 6. For those playoff bound, it is no time to quit it with the chronic rosterbating. Don’t worry you won’t go blind, but you may need glasses. It is however, time to stop taking chances on the “upside” guys. But Guru, doesn’t Ace Anders have a lot of potential. Yeah, I know disembodied voice of Razzball Nation, but potential is one thing in Week 3, it is quite another as we head into the playoffs. Stick with your consistent ballers, that’s who got you here. I only need one defense, right Mr. Turban? Well, my fellow Razzballer, if you are one of those that doesn’t own the Seattle or Carolina defense, don’t stop streaming the D now. Find the best matchup for the week and look ahead to the next few weeks. If you have roster room, pick up the defenses that have the best matchups going forward, i.e., any team facing the Jags or the Jets. If you don’t have room for three defenses, drop the dead weight off your roster. Trent Richardson isn’t going to turn into AP anytime soon. Whattabout kicker’s? Grab three of those, too? Don’t get all crazy now, Taco. One kicker will do, just make sure he’s on a high scoring team, plays in dome or has a good weather matchup. But, o wise guru, there’s nothing good on the waiver wire. Not true, my playoff bound friend. Just choose wisely. That’s why I’m here. The fake footballin’ championship is within your grasp and all the glory, bragging rights, cash and prizes are there for the taking. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

 

Jam or Cram: Mike Glennon, QB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Availability: 83% Yahoo, 95% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 4.50 Fantasy points. Glennon completed 14-of-21 passes for 180 yards, zero touchdowns and an interception Sunday against Carolina. Yuck.

$$$ Value: $5. Own Aaron Rodgers or RGIII? Spend a little and stream away.

The Gist: Tough week for Glennon against a tough Panthers defense. The rookie QB made a number of terrible throws, including the blooper of the week when his intended pass went backwards for a fumblerooski, but the pick should have been negated on a pass interference. Either way, Glennon has been a nice surprise this season on a horrible team. Glennon was coming off consecutive 17-point fantasy games and has at least 15 in six of his last seven.

The X-File: Sunday was the first time in nine games that Glennon went without a touchdown pass.

Jam it or Cram it: Ok, Sunday’s game against the Panthers was typical of Glennon’s year – good against bad teams, bad against good teams. Glennon gets the Bills D this week in Tampa. It’ll be one of those good games for Glennon. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Donald Brown, RB, Indianapolis Colts

Availability: 56% Yahoo, 61% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 12.40 Fantasy points. Brown rushed 14 times for 54 yards and a touchdown, and caught two passes for ten yards.

$$$ Value: $45. Got any cash left? Use it.

The Gist: Trent Richardson sucks. How’s that for expert analysis? Ever since the trade with Cleveland, T-Rich has been outplayed by Brown and finally Colts HC Chuck Pagano saw what we saw: Trent Richardson sucks. Sunday against the Titans, Brown played 52 snaps and Richardson saw just 13.

The X-File: Brown has scored four touchdowns (one receiving) in his last four games.

Jam it or Cram it: Pagano said Brown will be the featured back moving forward. Surprise, surprise. With the Colts finally coming to their senses by letting Richardson devote more time to his “film” career, Brown is going to get the work. Brown gets a tough Bengals defense this week that is 8th in the league, but he’s a definite add in PPR leagues and worth a gamble at the flex or in deep leagues. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Cordarrelle Patterson, WR, Minnesota Vikings

Availability: 75% Yahoo, 94% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 7.34 Fantasy points. Patterson had one catch for four yards, but did score his first NFL TD on a 33-yard run. Too bad we don’t get points for crowd surfing and high fives.

$$$ Value: $3. Take your three bucks and buy some scratch tickets. You have a divorce to pay for.

The Gist: Patterson certainly has skill and blazing speed. The talent is definitely there and was on many preseason sleeper lists. In a Dynasty League, I’m all in on Patterson. I prefer him over Tavon Austin and Aaron Dobson. Next year.

The X-File: Over his last three games, Patterson has 14 touches for 113 yards with two touchdowns.

Jam it or Cram it: The quarterback situation in Minnesota makes it hard to trust Patterson. For him to get any worthwhile Fantasy points he needs to score on reverses or kick returns or maybe the ol’ Statue of Liberty play. We have no time to wait around, we need to win now. CRAM 

 

Jam or Cram: Zach Ertz, TE, Philadelphia Eagles

Availability: 98% Yahoo, 99% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 18.80 Fantasy points. Ertz caught five passes for 68 yards with two touchdowns.

$$$ Value: $1. A dollar for a guy that scored 18 points? I got that on me.

The Gist: Rookie Zach Ertz is an intriguing prospect who has gotten increased playing time in Chip Kelly’s Eagles’ offense. He’s also getting more love in the passing game than veteran Brent Celek. Ertz had two TDs on Sunday, but has been inconsistent. Ertz has five games on the year where he scored one point or less. 

The X-File: Ertz has three scores in his last four games.

Jam it or Cram it: Great game from Ertz and Nick Foles looks like Joe Montana in Napoleon Dynamite’s body. Ertz will be getting a lot of the waiver wire love this week as people continue to play tight end roulette. Don’t be fooled. Ertz’s huge game came against the Cardinals D that gives up a ton of points to the TE position. What tight end gets the Cards this week? Jared Cook. Grab him. CRAM

 

Jam or Cram: St. Louis Rams, Defense/Special Teams

Availability: 40% Yahoo, 30% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 6 Fantasy points. The Rams D had a sack and a fumble recovery Sunday against the 49ers.

$$$ Value: $8. Defenses are going to be scooped up quickly by anyone in the playoffs. It’s smart to grab a couple looking ahead to the next week if you advance.

The Gist: The Rams have forced 11 turnovers over their past four games and since Week 5 their D/ST has averaged 14 fantasy points per week.

The X-File: Injuries in the secondary have tested the Rams depth against good passing offenses.

Jam it or Cram it: The Rams face the Cardinals in Arizona this week. Look for Carson Palmer to be throwing the ball. Also look for Carson Palmer to get picked off. Palmer has 17 INT and three fumbles this year. Turnovers mean points and taste delicious. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Alex Henery, K, Philadelphia Eagles

Availability: 90% Yahoo, 91% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 6 Fantasy points. Henery kicked one field goal and three extra points on Sunday.

$$$ Value: $0. Don’t spend on kickers, Taco.

The Gist: Henery is averaging over seven fantasy points in his last four games and has three games in which he scored double digits this season.

The X-File: Detroit has given up the 2nd most points to kickers this season.

Jam it or Cram it: I’m expecting a high scoring game against the Lions in Philly this Sunday. With Foles moving the offense and the Eagles averaging 25 points per game, Henery will have his scoring chances. JAM

 

*BONUS TRACKS: WEEK 14*

Joe Flacco, QB, BAL: Flacco completed 24-of-35 passes for 251 yards and one touchdown on Thanksgiving against the Steelers. Flacco gets the Vikings this week. The Vikes let Josh McCown and Matt Flynn score over 15 points. Flacco’s a little better than those guys. A little. JAM

LeGarrette Blount, RB, NE:  Blount was the Patriots’ primary back Sunday with Stevan Ridley battling a case of the fumbleitis. Blount totaled 10 Fantasy points, rushing 12 times for 44 yards and a touchdown. I want no part of Belichick’s committee. CRAM

Michael Crabtree, WR, SF: Not liking players coming off an Achilles injury. While Crabtree played 65 snaps last week, he’s not someone to trust against the Seahawks. We’ll climb the Crabtree next year. CRAM

Brandon Myers, TE, NYG: Myers is averaging over eight points in his last three starts. He saved your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru’s turbaned ass last week when Jordan Reed was a late scratch. JAM

Oakland Raiders, DEF/ST: The silver and black get the green and white on Sunday. The Jets are giving up over 17 points to team defenses the last four weeks. JAM

 

Good luck in Week 14. Leave a question below or hit me up on Twitter @TheGuruGS. No you can’t stay at my house.

 

 

 

 

61 Responses

  1. Prez says:
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    Im sick of being a taco… Can i be like an enchilada or something? Nachos, maybe?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      You will always be my Chimichanga, Prez.

      • Prez says:
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        @The Guru: *tiger woods fist pump*

  2. Ciwa says:
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    Hi guru!
    In my 14 team standard league is the last game. I’m 7-6 and i have a win-or-go-home game for the playoff. I ask for your help.
    Ginn(we count return yds) or Wallace as Flex? WR1 and 2 are Marshall and V-Jax.
    Donald Brown or Ellington as RB2?
    Heath Miller or Myers?
    And Defens question:last week i picked up Raiders D foreseeing week 14 but i don’t know if i have faith in 49ers D against the Seahawks.

    Thanks for all and good luck!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Good luck, Ciwa. Go Wallace, Brown, Myers and I can’t believe I’m going to say the Raiders D. But every D that goes against the Jets scores double digits. Start ‘em.

  3. Dave says:
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    If I have a bye is Buffalo a good D pickup? They play @Jax and vs Mia in weeks 15 and 16.

    Also should I drop Dan Bailey for Henery or Vinateiri for those same final 2 weeks? Baileys been a bit slow lately.

    Thanks guru

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Buffalo is a nice pickup looking ahead to Jax.

      As for kickers, those three are about the same. Play the best matchup taking into account opponent, are they in a dome, weather.

      Best of luck getting a championship, Dave.

      • Dave says:
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        @The Guru: Thanks Guru same to you

  4. Justin says:
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    Meyers saved my ass this week to!!! Great work as always man. Randle or Rainey at flex this week. 1 point per reception. Also is Rice a RB1 with his matchup against the Vikings this week?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Rice is a start this week along with Rainey. Thank the fantasy gods that Myers was out there.
      Good luck!

  5. Captain Kirk says:
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    @ The Guru

    Problem with having Carolina D is that they play in NO Sunday night.

    I also have NO Def.. would you go with NO at home against Carolina?

    I have both Carolina & NO Defenses.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Are the Raiders available? If not I’m going to chance the Panthers D.

  6. J-FOH says:
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    I missed the playoffs in every league…..Hey look a baseball!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Sorry, J. Heavy drinking helps. In 18 leagues I made the playoffs in all but one with another coming down to this week. I really need a girlfriend.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @The Guru: yes and maybe a new liver according to Twitter. It’s my own fault, I didn’t get beat when it mattered, I beat myself by starting the wrong guys. I should of won by 70 points this past week in one and did the dog in a few others a couple weeks ago. I was a better player when I wasn’t an “expert” and just played with my head up my ass. I have a friend who does that and does well. He also drafts Matt Schaub every year because he’s good. *sarcasm* he’s not. He also thinks Demarco Murray is a good running back. I think he’s dogs**t in real life. Hey in real life my Broncos are still winning and I know if we host your Pats in the playoffs then we win and you lose. And my Bruins spanked the Trojans over the weekend so i have things to live for. I hope this doesn’t affect my articles from here on out. I can see them now. “The handcuff Report – Who gives a F**k anyway” followed by a copy of the previous weeks entry…..looking forward to the next podcast :)

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Ha! Well said as always oh hateful one. Don’t worry about the liver. Obama-care promised me a bionic one!

          • J-FOH says:
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            @The Guru: Let’s just say I have some drywall work to do around the house this weekend. If we need to get you a woman we can start here http://www.indiandating.com/

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Perfect!

      • Momuirnin says:
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        @The Guru: so, this game that has your playoff chances on the line would be the matchup with me?? Great. Gloves off. No mercy.

          • Momuirnin says:
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            @The Guru: @The Guru: Bring it! It’s been tried before to no avail. :)

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Wait…I’ve been giving you advice all season haven’t I? My work comes back to haunt me. Damn you, Fantasy gods!

              • Momuirnin says:
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                @The Guru: You’ve created a monster.

  7. CL says:
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    I’m planning to try and claim Oakland this week. Then I was thinking I should claim St. Louis too because they are top 5 in fantasy points scored in my league. Should I claim them instead over Oakland for the long haul? I’m not seeing any immediate tasty DEF streams NEXT week is why I ask.

    • CL says:
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      @CL: @CL: I’m not sure I’ll be able to claim either, or both.

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Claim both if you can. St Louis if you can’t.

        • CL says:
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          @The Guru: So priority claim is St. Louis.

          • The Guru

            The Guru says:
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            That’s right. Now win.

            • CL says:
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              @The Guru: 10-4.

              Going into playoffs now… 11-2 (1st), 9-4 (1st), and 8-5 (3rd and the league we’re talking about here). I plan to do a lot of winning, all money leagues.

              • The Guru

                The Guru says:
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                Nice work!

  8. Joe G says:
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    Gurú Iam in the playoffs….could you help me with my roster y have danny woodhead and bobby rainey and pier Thomas for RB which one would you start this week? And in my WR i have brandon marshall…André johnson,TY Hilton,keenen Allen,Eric decker i could only star 3 or 2 if i put 3 rb?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Congrats on the playoffs, Joe. Nice work.

      Are you in a PPR league? If so, go with Johnson, Decker, Allen, Woodhead and Thomas.

      • Joe G says:
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        @The Guru: thanks… Yes Iam in ppr but what about Tennessee pass defense and weather should i be worried for peyton manning and decker? I still have andy dalton in the bench should i start him?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          You don’t sit Manning. Hard to sit Decker after last weeks performance.

  9. Chauncy Phillips says:
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    In the playoffs! Hooray! Need to pick one RB and one flex from Gore, Jennings, Cooper, Douglas…I’m terrified of Gore against Seattle D, unsure of Jennings health and Jets D, Roddy White’s impact on Douglas…Help a brother out! Cooper seems like the safest bet and that can’t be right…

    • Chauncy Phillips says:
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      forgot to say that it is a .5 PPR league…

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        I’d go Gore and Douglas. I think that Gore will be better at home and Douglas has been getting it done. Good luck.

  10. Young Larry says:
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    Got into the playoffs by the skin on my teeth and need some advice on who to start at QB. I have Kaep but don’t trust him against Seattle this week. I’m trying to decide between McCown or Flacco, which should I roll the dice with?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Depends on Cutler’s status. McCown has been very good. If Cutler doesn’t play I’m leaning McCown. But if Cutlerlooks good to go it is Flacco.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @The Guru: you really think flacco is better than mccown?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          No, he’s better than Cutler.

  11. Zandy says:
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    Do you like henery over carpenter? Carpenter will have better weather in TB than henery in philly

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I see more opportunities for points with Henery this week.

  12. Brett says:
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    Guru

    Has your view on green changed? Ppr league Carlson or green?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Like what I’m seeing from Green, Top 20 TE this week. Jered Cook is the guy I’m looking for this week. Carlson…meh.

  13. Chicken Dinner says:
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    Do you like those Rams more than the Bill@TB?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Sure do.

  14. the imp says:
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    Hi Guru,
    In a shallow 12 team PPR, thanks to Josh Gordon I own the #1 seed but the wide receivers behind him are anything but must starts:

    Boykin/Amendola/Streater

    With a bye, I’m looking to see if I can improve the corps for WEEK 15.
    Hartline, Nicks, and Jennings the best of the pickups available.
    Hartline is safe, but safe. Jennings has a good matchup (vs PHI) and maybe some chemistry with Cassell. Sky would be disappointed that I’m even considering Nicks.

    Would you hold or make a change?

    • the imp says:
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      @the imp: Sorry…I should tell you I start 3WR (no flex), so need two to go with Gordon each week.

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Gordon, Boykin, and Hartline wold be my starts.

  15. Sniff Test says:
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    Would you go Boykin, ledarius Green or Baldwin in a WR/TE slot…ppr?

  16. Sniff Test says:
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    Would you go Boykin, ledarius Green or Baldwin in a WR/TE slot…ppr? Rivers is my qb.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Can I say Edelman or Hartline? Leaning Boykin despite what happened last week.

  17. Toby says:
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    Soooooooo…. last week you told me to flex Boykin over Ben Tate and, well, we both know how that went. Boykin dropped a big fat turd all over my Thanksgiving festivities and I went crying to my room like a little girl. Then Murray puts up 28 points and things start looking up. Then the rest of my team goes buck-wild to the tune of 162 points on the backs of Peyton, Murray, Jeffrey, Charles and… wait for it… Ben Tate (who I ended up using over Shorts at the last second). It was the highest score in my league this season and beat an opponent that put up a staggering 137 points.

    Anyway, all this is to say, I ain’t mad at cha. You’ve helped me a ton this season and I still got mad love for you, Guru. And to prove it, I’m gonna give you a chance to redeem yourself (look at me, being such a nice fella!)

    I need a WR2 this week and my choices are Shorts, Hartline, Boykin, and James Jones (along with the usual cast of characters on the wire). Who do you like this week? How do you think Shorts will fare against a tough Houston D that has decimated WR1s (looks like most of their points have been given up to WR2s and slot receivers)? Would I be better off streaming Hartline or Boykin?

    I’m in a 6-way tie for 3rd place in a standard 12-team yahoo league.

    Thanks, as always!!!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      The big fat zero from Boykin surprised a lot of us, as did the amount of points the Texans dropped on the Pats. If anyone predicted Tate going off for 3 TDs, I’ll eat my turban. Ha! BTW, I started Boykin in a number of leagues as well. Ouch.

      As for your question, I’m going with Shorts. The Texan’s pass D is 19th in the league the last 5 weeks. Shorts is averaging 11 targets the last 2 weeks. If Shorts can put up 6/64/1 against Joe Haden, he’ll be a solid WR2 this week.

      *crosses fingers*

      Good luck, Toby and thanks for reading.

      • Toby says:
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        @The Guru: Namaste, Guru. Namaste

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Give me a follow on Twitter @TheGuruGS
          I have a question to ask you.

  18. RalphW says:
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    Which 3 RBs do i start? McCoy, Bush, Stacey, Tate and MJD?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Standard, PPR? McCoy, Bush, Tate.

      • RalphW says:
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        @The Guru: Standard… Toss up between Tate and MJD, Im worried about the first match up with Tate gaining only 1yard against Jax

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Tough one, Ralph. Think you’ll be fine either way, I’m just leaning Tate at home.

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