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Welcome once again my fantasy friends to the Razzball Lounge. Every year at this time your Razzballin’ scribes gather together in the lounge for Thanksgiving in an effort to avoid the family, complain about our teams, knock back a few and give our thanks to the Fantasy gods on another season well played. It’s just like what the Pilgrims did – without the small pox and post-meal genocide. On this festive day we find our fearless leader Sky in a gravy stained wife-beater hugging the waitress and crying over the loss of his season because he drafted Doug Martin No. 1, “I wanna be your muscle hamster.” *SLAP*  Sitting alone in a dark corner JB Gilpin enjoys his pumpkin pie and mutters again and again, “Cam Newton is the MVP, Cam Newton is the MVP.” Over at the jukebox is the one and only J-Foh, dropping quarters and playing “Alice’s Restaurant” for the 10th straight time, “You can get anything you want at…” *bottle smashes above head* Locked in the ladies room the one and only Tehol Beddict asks this pretty lady if she wants to see his giblets, “Whatever happens in the Razzball Lounge stays in the Razzball Lounge, right guys??” And standing here at the pool table is your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru. *closes eye, aims cue, sinks 8-ball off three rails, pulls wishbone from pocket* “Make a wish. It’s time to jam it or cram it.”

 

Jam or Cram: Josh McCown, QB, Chicago Bears

Availability: 81% Yahoo, 90% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 19.48 Fantasy points. McCown went 36-for-47 for 352 yards, two touchdowns and a pick.

$$$ Value: $6. Six bucks for a QB that puts up nearly 20 points a week? Yup, it’s the same price the Dutch paid for Manhattan.

The Gist: The 34-year-old, former high school coach outscored guys named Brees, Manning and Romo last week. With the receiving weapons he his disposal in Marshall, Forte, Jeffery and Bennett, he just might outscore those three QBs again.

The X-File: McCown has only two turnovers in five starts.

Jam it or Cram it: McCown has been solid every week and he’s a Top 10 play against a Vikings defense that allowed Matt Flynn to score 15 points in just over a quarter of work. McCown will likely get the nod again in Week 13 as he continues to fill in for Jay Cutler who is still receiving daily groin massages from Kristin Cavallari. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Benny Cunningham, RB, St. Louis Rams

Availability: 96% Yahoo, 99% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 16.90 Fantasy points. Cunningham rushed 13 times for 109 yards and a touchdown.

$$$ Value: $20. Gotta drop the cash to pick up any running back with a starting chance.

The Gist: With Zac Stacy concussed and sitting in a dark room alone with a drool cup, Big Benny is the add here. Especially since he’s averaging nearly 10 YPC. In a completely unrelated note: There was a kid in my neighborhood named Benny Cunningham that rode the “short bus.” Wonder if it’s the same guy. He did wear a helmet.

The X-File: The Rams are averaging 152 team rushing yards over the last seven weeks and are running the ball 53 percent of the time.

Jam it or Cram it: Damn, the Stacy injury hurts. I owned the guy everywhere and we were going to get bunk beds together – more room for activities! Whether you’re a Stacy owner or not, Cunningham is worth picking up as a possible RB2 or Flex play or just to block your league-mates from getting their greedy paws on him. ‘Tis the season. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Nate Burleson, WR, Detroit Lions

Availability: 76% Yahoo, 96% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 13.70 Fantasy points. Burleson went lucky 7′s on Sunday: 7 catches for 77 yards and a touchdown.

$$$ Value: $18. I’ve been waiting in line for days for this Black Friday special.

The Gist: Playing in his first game since breaking his arm, the Lions wasted no time getting Burleson the ball. If you snagged Burleson off the wire last week, I tip my cranberry sauce colored turban in your general direction. I tend to wait on picking up a guy recovering from accidents involving pizza.

The X-File: Burleson was targeted 10 times on Sunday.

Jam it or Cram it: Four out of five Fantasy experts agree, Matt Stafford likes to throw the ball. Megatron can’t catch them all. Burleson is going to be a solid WR3 heading into the Fantasy playoffs. With guys like Riley Cooper and Jarrett Boykin likely long gone in your league, get jam happy with the Guru, grab a slice from the front seat and JAM Burleson.

 

Jam or Cram: Ladarius Green, TE, San Diego Chargers

Availability: 99% Yahoo, 99.9% ESPN

Stat Me Up: 14.00 Fantasy points. Green had three catches for 80 yards and a touchdown.

$$$ Value: $2. Ladarius is a two dolla holla.

The Gist: In my bestest Michael Irvin voice: Ladarius Green is a beast! Over the last two weeks, the 6’6″, 240 pound Green has hauled in seven catches for 161 yards and a touchdown.

The X-File: Green is averaging 22.0 yards per reception this season.

Jam it or Cram it: Like what I’m seeing from Green, but the fact Antonio Gates is still hanging ’round kind of drags down the value, though. Adding Green is a gamble, want to roll the dice on a boom or bust? No thanks. CRAM

 

Jam or Cram: Cleveland Browns, Defense/Special Teams

Availability: 68% Yahoo, 80% ESPN

Stat Me Up: A big FAT ZERO Sunday against the Steelers. They did have a sack. Hooray.

$$$ Value: $5. Gotta pay to get into the dog pound this week.

The Gist: The Browns D put up a terrible towel worthy performance against the Steelers last week, but have a young aggressive defense. They currently rank fourth in the NFL in total defense (306 YPG).

The X-File: The Browns are sixth against the run (98 YPG) and fourth against against the pass (208 YPG). Stats are fun.

Jam it or Cram it: The Browns have totaled more than 10 Fantasy points only three teams this season. Why add them, Guru? Well disembodied voice of Razzball Nation, the Browns are facing the Jaguars on Sunday. Hey, where did you go? JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Kai Forbath, K, Washington Redskins

Availability: 89% Yahoo, 97% ESPN

Stat Me Up: Averaging 6.5 Fantasy points the last four weeks.

$$$ Value: $0.Don’t pay for kickers, Taco.

The Gist: Once again, I received more questions about kickers than any other position. I think you’re just playing with me now.

The X-File: *Spoler Alert* Kai Forbath is the name of Jon Snow’s real mother on Game of Thrones.

Jam it or Cram it: The Redskins face off against the Giants this week. The G-Men have given up the 7th most fantasy points to Kickers this year. Who does this research? Damn, I did. I really need a girlfriend. JAM

 

*Week 13 Bonus Tracks*

Mike Glennon, QB, TB: Glennon has been good. I’m not starting him against that Panthers defense. CRAM

Monte Ball, RB, DEN: Knowshon Moreno was on crutches after Sunday’s 224 yard performance. That’s not good. Know what else is not good? Monte Ball. CRAM

Tiquan Underwood, WR, TB: Love the hair. Hate the player. CRAM

Delanie Walker, TE, JAC: I will continue to jam on Delanie until he gets to over 50% ownership. He’s at 49% now. JAM

Buffalo Bills, DEF/SP: The Bills are averaging over 10 Fantasy points in their last three games and face a reeling Falcons team in Buffalo where it could snow 47 inches by halftime. JAM

 

Good luck in Week 13. Leave a question below or hit me up on Twitter @TheGuruGS for turkey cooking tips.

46 Responses

  1. Robert says:
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    I own the Bills, debating them vs Miami, Patriots and Steelers.

    FYI, though – the Bills, while they are “home” are actually playing indoors in Toronto at Rogers Centre. Not sure if the lack of snow and/or the fast grass at the Argonauts home field changes your opinion on the Bills.

    Maybe Rob Ford will show up for the game, which by itself would make the game worth watching.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Bills D could get it done this week in the snow, in the dome or maybe some street ball.

      • Richie says:
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        @The Guru: Except the Bills are playing their “home” game in Toronto, which just so happens to have a retractable roof.

      • Richie says:
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        @The Guru: @The Guru: Except the Bills are playing their “home” game in Toronto, which just so happens to have a retractable roof.

        Disregard my last comment…I’ve had too much to drink haha!

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Yes, I forgot that. I hope they open the roof! Still like the Bills D as a top 10 this week.

  2. Dave says:
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    Miami defense vs the Jets good? Or are Miami too big a disaster themselves to trust.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Liking any D going against the J-E-T-S. Miami could be a top 5 play this week.

      • Dave says:
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        @The Guru: Thanks! Also, should I pick up EJ Manuel (he plays ATL) to start him over Big Ben (@BAL)?

        And lastly Gio (@SD) or Vereen (@Hou) in the flex? Its .5PPR, Sky said Gio but I feel like Vereen has the bigger role/better offense right now what you think?

        Really appreciate it.

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          No prob, Dave. Stick with Big Ben. I’m a Vereen fan as well and like his role going forward. However, I’m expecting a big game from Gio this week. Start Gio.

  3. CL says:
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    If you had the #1 waiver claim this week… one week out from playoffs sitting at 7-5 and prolly one of 6 teams in the playoffs for Weeks 14, 15, and 16 are you claiming Cunningham (I own Stacy) or Crabtree (I could use a WR boost, Burelson is gone)?

    • CL says:
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      @CL: By the way, PPR. And Dennis Johnson could be another pickup.

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Eh, Cunningham/Johnson pretty much the same guy. It’s a coin flip between the two.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Depends on what the rest of your roster looks like. Crabtree looks good to go. The Stacy injury hurts,especially with his status still up in the air. If you really need the WR, Crabtree could be worth picking up.

  4. Allan says:
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    Got Kap and Fitz right now. Is McCown much of an upgrade over them this week? Thanks.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      McCown is a top 10 play this week. Why you owning stock in Fitz? Did you go to Harvard? Start McCown against that bad Vikings D.

  5. Nate says:
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    Thanks for all the genius.

    Jordan Reed’s suddenly available. Pick him up and drop Cameron or Olsen?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Not sure if Reed will be ready to go on Sunday with the concussion. I still like Olsen better.

  6. Tom Thumb says:
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    Not a Stacy owner. Vying for week 1 bye with a win and the Stacy owner’s loss. Grab Cunningham with top waiver pick or save for playoffs? Will Stacy really sit?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Things are quiet on the Stacy front. I think he sits this week, but just a hunch. I’d keep the waiver for the playoffs.

  7. John Axford's Meat Stache says:
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    Guru,

    On the defense front (I know, ZZZZZZ……), who do we prefer, Patriots or Browns this week?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Haven’t done my rankings yet, but I think the Pats may be the best D on the board this week. Going to roll with my Pats.

      • Robert says:
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        @The Guru: Pats overs Fins?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          That is the way I’m leaning this week. They are both top 5, though.

          • Robert says:
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            @The Guru: Thanks

            • The Guru

              The Guru says:
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              Anytine, Robert. Have a good Thanksgiving.

  8. Timmmmay says:
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    Hey guru, I need a Defense for this week; which one is the one you target?
    Here’s who’s available :

    - Browns (vs jags)

    - Jags (vs browns)

    - Patriots (vs Texans & week 14 vs browns)

    - Dolphins (vs jets & week 14 vs Pitt)

    - jets ( vs dolphins & week 14 vs oak)

    - rams (vs SF & week 14 vs Arizona)

    - saints (vs Seahawks & week 14 vs Carolina)

    - giants (vs redskins & week 14 vs chargers)

    - bills (vs ATL & week 14 vs Bucs)

    And redskins this week vs giants

    - I don’t necessarily need one for two weeks, if anything I could stream another D next week, so far this week I like the browns, pats & bills

    Thanks

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Grab the Patriots defense.

  9. Toby says:
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    Hey Guru, thanks for all your advice. You steered me in the right direction a couple weeks ago and I’m hoping you can work your magic again.

    I am in a 6-way tie for 4th place with a huge game this week against one of the better teams in the league. I need to know a couple things:

    Who to start for flex between Ben Tate and Boykin? My gut is saying Boykin is the safer bet given Tate’s injury status and timeshare problems. What do you think? My other options are James Jones, Mendenhall or Golden Tate.

    And should I drop Rob Housler for Ladarius Green or Tim Wright?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Wow, tough one, Toby. It’s close but I’m leaning Boykin here.

      Stick with Housler and good luck.

      • Toby says:
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        @The Guru: Thanks, Guru. Gobble Gobble

  10. JB Gilpin

    JB Gilpin says:
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    Cam Newton. IS the MVP

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      You look cute in your Panthers footie pajamas.

  11. Dan says:
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    whats up Guru- 12 team PPR… Boykin or Harvin in Flex

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Boykin

  12. Bertchr22 says:
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    I’m not picking on you. But you have Delanie Walker on the Jaguars. Maybe update it for the possible uneducated who are reading.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Good catch. Why were the Jags on my mind?

  13. Ciwa says:
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    Hi Guru!
    I have two doubts for Sunday.
    Wallace or Ginn as Flex?(We count return yds)
    For my RB2:Trich-Donald Brown-Ellington-Dennis Johnson-Cunningham?
    My RB1 is Murray.
    Happy Thanksgiving!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Wallace, leaning Ellington this week.

      Happy Turkey Day!

  14. Toby says:
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    Guru: “Back for seconds already?”
    Toby: “Yes, please sir, may I have some more”

    So I lost out on the Burleson lottery last night but I ended up grabbing Hartline and Cunningham off waivers. That leaves me with those 2 plus Mendenhall, Golden Tate and James Jones on my bench, none of whom I’m particularly wild about.

    Available free agents still include Cordarrelle Patterson, Tim Wright, Ladarius Green and Darren Sproles. Would I be better off dropping one of my low-upside, boring-as-shit bench players for one or more of these high-upside guys? I’m particularly interested in Wright and Patterson as I imagine a high ceiling for those fellas.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Its that time of year to roll the dice on a couple upside guys, especially if you’re fighting for a playoff spot. Go for it.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @Toby: don’t touch wright against CAR this week though.

  15. Robert says:
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    Yo G, I have been playing the revolving TE game without much luck. Currently have J. Carlson with Rudolph rumored to be back wk 15. Better TE going forward: Carlson or T. Wright?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’m leaning Carlson here.

      • Robert says:
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        @The Guru: Coolio

  16. standard 12 team non-ppr nfl.com league. Need help filling in my WR3, Flex2 (wr/te/rb), and DEF positions.

    WR3/Flex:
    D.Bowe
    P.Harvin
    D.Amendola
    G.Bernard

    Def:
    Arizona
    Tenn
    Miami

    Tentatively have Bowe and Bernard, but thinking about switching in Harvin at one of the spots -maybe flex2 (SEA might have to throw the ball a lot to win against NO.) As for Def, I’ve been rotating Arizona and Tenn most of the year but picked up Miami as a possible filler for this weeks match-up against the jets…

    What do you think?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Harvin and Gio. Miami D.

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