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Free at last, free at last, thank gawd almighty we are free at last!  Razzball has <3′ed this man for a while and we kept saying to ourselves and anyone else who would listen, If only he were given the chance to be a starter somewhere.  Well here we are and after the Jets sent a 4th round pick to the Saints, Chris Ivory is gonna get a chance to finally shine.  Remember my Mike Goodson post earlier this month?  In the words of Joe Pesci I say FUGGEDABOUTIT.  Chris is now The Man in Jersey and don’t you let anyone tell you different.  Also, don’t let the limited amount of carries and games fool you.  You can blame that on the Saints who’ve been devils to their starting running backs since Payton came on board.  It’s a place where few running backs go and carry the ball 200+ times in a season and if they do, chances are there were some major injuries that lead up to it.  Speaking of injuries, Ivory has had his fair share with one major one being Lisfranc that sidelined him in 2011.  But you know what I’m gonna say about that too, right?  FUGGEDABOUTIT!  Running Backs get hurt.  You can’t help that nor can I no matter how much you wanna run down to the field and rub his feet and sing Sweet Child ‘O’ Mine to him…wait, what?  If you want comparables, I’ve got one for you: Marshawn Lynch.  In my opinion, Ivory should be called ‘Beast-Mode Lite’ which will have a similar fantasy impact but with half the notoriety.  I’m nothing if not bold and I feel an RB1 season from this man should come as no surprise and he’ll probably get drafted as a lower end RB2.  I’m strongly suggesting you learn some Billy Joel here, Piano Man, and put your hands on this Ivory.  You’ll make some mighty sweet music.  And with that, let’s poke around on some other news for the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

Aaron Hernandez – Well at least the New England Patriots resigned Michael Hoomanawanui, right?  After hearing the news that Rob Gronkowski was going to have a 4th surgery and was having issues fighting off infection in his left forearm, the Pats were dealt another downer at the Tight End position when it was announced A-Hern was going to need a 4 month recovery time on his surgically repaired shoulder.  In fact, there’s fears that Hernandez might start the year on the PUP list.  No, not that PUP list!  Though that would be cute.  Because we’re now this off-topic, I might as well give you an obligatory dog dressed up to play football picture while we’re at it.  Just think if the Dog Pound really were the Dog Pound in Cleveland?  Michael Vick would be shaking in his cleats.  And with his third sack of the game, Labradoodle Jenkins does a dance over Vick, symbolically raising his hind leg over his head as the crowd goes wild.  The ‘Whizzzzzz’ chant can be heard from the fans who’re wearing the ‘Urin-Nation’ shirts.  Ok, now back to reality.  This could be big news.  Or it could not.  Wow, I really covered my bases there.  The point being is everything is speculation right now but when August rolls around, we’re gonna know a lot more about how his rehab is going and how long he should be expected out.  I think the key to this that many may miss is the Pats swept in last year when Jake Ballard was waived by the Giants.  New York’s idea behind waiving him was putting him back on via the PUP list himself as he healed from microfracture knee surgery and a torn ACL for the entire 2012 season.  Overall, if you’re drafting now, I’d Aaron the side of caution with Hernandez.

LeGarrette Blount – Traded to the Pats for Jeffrey Demps and a 7th round pick.  To put it Blount-ly, this move means very little for LeGarrette unless the Pats need a little punch in their lineup for the day.

Justin Blackmon – Has been suspended for 4 games by the NFL.  At this point, I have no idea for what.  Maybe another DUI?  Maybe for rooting for Tebow to come to Jacksonville?  The world may never know…or probably will after I’ve posted this and don’t have time to edit it before you comment and tell me what I missed while I slept for 3 minutes.

Tim Tebow – Released by the Jets.  Clearly with Ivory on board they were no longer in need of another running back.  *Intern whispers into ear*  Hrm, so I guess he was a quarterback…I thought you had to complete at least 50% of your passes to be called a QB.  *Intern whispers again*  Ah, that’s why they released him because he can’t.  What would would I do without you, intern?  *Another whisper* Oh, I’m sure you have a name but we don’t use names around here for interns for the same reasons we don’t name our future meat products on the farm.  Poor Beefy McSteakington…you were delicious.

11 Responses

  1. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    you build a retaining wall and take a week of from writing, did you hurt your hand?

    Thank you for the puppy links, probably spent a little too much time on that page, but they are so damn cute. Those little bastards are like cryptonite to me….Kitties have a similar effect.

    The Blount Out has brought me back to reality, in hind site I must say it was a solid jab, no weak ass haymaker for him, keepin it tight. As an Oregon fan that must make you proud, if your guys are going to throw down, then at least throw a proper punch.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ha, no, Murph is our Draft Guru. It was his ship to steer over the last few days since he’s taking over as being draft/dynasty man for us.

      If there’s one thing that I spend way too much time on the internet for it’s por…I mean puppy pics. Seriously, we have our dog Waldo and he’s probably the most spoiled dog you’d ever meet. Our cat is insane. We moved it to the garage. It’s still insane but away from us so we’re happier…

      Yeah, he didn’t hold back it really was a nice swing. Now if only he could bring that type of energy to hitting the hole, he might not look like Brandon Jacobs reincarnate so much. Yes, Brandon Jacobs is dead. Or so ESPN tells me via his statlines over the last few years.

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: RIP BJ, oh what you could have been in a full time role.

        So you take the cat and give him his own asylum, I wouldn’t go in that garage anytime soon. Cat is going to f**k you up. My dog is an asshole, even though I neutered him as soon as it was medically possible he still pisses on stuff and has this real hatred towards anything that flys, moths are going to make his back snap one of these days.

        I like Murph, he’s hilarious on Twitter, was reading his IDP draft article he linked on Twitter last night, to quote myself, “it’s like Barely Legal for IDP junkies”

        Keep up the good football work, I might have recruited Prezzi and Wallpaper Patterson to join my league.

        League Settings Question: I have used divisions the last couple of years, I think it makes it kinda fun, mimmics real life in the way the ball bounces kinda way, what do you think?

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Full time BJs? That sounds like the ‘yo momma’ joke and about her resume…

          Ha, she was actually losing her mind. Sad story, we had moved and had construction done on the house and she started eating her fur and scabbing. It was a last ditch effort to try and save her sanity because once we got a dog she flat out went insane. She’s actually happier now that she’s outside. She was always a little fiesty for an indoor cat and now we know why. My dog is ridiculously friendly. Funny, he got into a wasp nest about two years ago. Got his ass stung pretty good. Now if anything flies around him he tries to bite it and then checks to see if he got stung on the ass again. Every. Time.

          Murph’s a good guy, he wanted to try writing so I said he was gonna try and be my dynasty guy. So far, so good and I’m glad he’s on board.

          RE: divisions, it depends on how real you wanna get. I personally think football is enough of a crapshoot without adding more layers of crapshootiness. Some of my league mates in my baseball keeper wanted to make some ‘real’ baseball moves to which I replied ‘well if we’re so concerned with being real, why are you so bent with all my moves? Baseball teams move guys off and on their roster daily and you’re mad at me for having more transactions than you.’ All this to say, I’m not against it but the ‘more realistic’ portion of things usually doesn’t make my motor purr.

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: not in a real reality but in the sense that you are fighting to beat the guys in your division and may miss the playoffs to a team with a worst record. Also your top two playoff seeds are going to be division winners and a 2nd place team from the other division may have a better record, but has to deal wit that. I plugged it in originally as a joke( we have a lot of bay area guys so i put them all together and called it the hella gay bay division) but also have grown to like it. Makes your division games more important. Since the bay area guys are all friends it gives them something to keep a little more interest in the game.

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Yeah, I think in the right setting it could work. Just not a big fan of boning people with better records. It’s hard enough sometimes to get your point totals to match your records in the first place. Remember a year I finished 4th in total points and 8th in the standings. Hard to do but it happens.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: no one has ever been screwed over, except when it comes to playoff seedings. last year some guys clinched playoff berths sooner than they should cause their division took a dump. I think deep down inside I like to use it to lump all the bay area people together under a f**ked up name. Some of these guys literally hate my ass but love playing in my league year after year

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Haha, yeah. That’s always the best reason to format your league a certain way: to f’ with friends!

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: somebody who gets me !

  2. Wallpaper Paterson says:
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    Divisions have worked for me. It also makes for a good schedule.

    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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      @Wallpaper Paterson: thats another strong point, WP’s got my back!

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