Don't be shellfish...Tweet about this on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on Google+Share on Reddit

Yup, I just did that.  I just pushed out kicker rankings and dropped a post the same day talking bad about them.  Actually, I talked bad about them within their own rankings.  I’m cruel like that.  It’s like if they asked me to be a judge of a Miss America contest.  I’d do my job appropriately but if anyone asked me what I thought of the contest itself, I’d laugh.  Seriously, I wouldn’t say anything, I’d just bust up and wouldn’t be able to stop.  I mean, it’s a contest that brought us Miss Utah.  If that doesn’t tell you why not to care, then I’ll give you Miss Teen USA from South Carolina.  Some people really don’t have maps.  Even US Americans.  But enough analogy, here’s me giving you a road map to a successful league set-up this year for 2013 Fantasy Football.

You see that ‘Commish Tools’ tab in your yahoo league?  Click on it.  See the link that says ‘Edit Roster Positions’?  Click on that next.  Then where it says ‘Kicker (K)’, you’ll notice your league says ‘1’.  Click the drop down menu and select the amount of beers you told your wife you had tonight.  Yes, that’s zero.  She doesn’t believe you and I don’t either but that doesn’t matter.  You need to get these kickers out of your fantasy football life and I’m here to tell you why: there’s very little strategy to them and success/failure at the position has very little to do with how good of a fantasy football player you are.  The highest scoring kicker last year was rookie Blair Walsh.  He could’ve been picked up off of waivers in pretty much every league and I dare say that could’ve even applied all the way up to the last few weeks of the season.  You know who got drafted nearly everywhere?  Mason Crosby.  Yeah, we all know what he did.  He crapped the bed of a kicker life by not even being a top 10 kicker on an offense that was a top scoring team on the season.  You getting my point yet?  You don’t rush out to pick up a kicker who drops 22 points but you’d put a waiver claim on a Running Back who scored 10.  It’s a ridiculous position for the purposes of our Fantasy Football lives and one we can do without.  Do you really feel superior to your league mate because Lawrence Tynes scored you 20 points and your opponent got a measly 3 from Matt Bryant?  That could’ve happened week 3 of the season in multiple leagues and could’ve won the week for that team.  Should we really put the fate of how our team wins/loses in the hands of such a position?  To quote Mr. Ed, ‘neigh’.  Oh and BTW, Tynes is a free agent this off-seaosn.  This despite finishing as the 4th best fantasy scorer amongst kickers.  Would the same thing happen to a positional player who is near the top of his position in terms of talent?  Go talk to Mr. Ed again for your answer.  So I humbly urge you all for this 2013 Fantasy football season: kick the kicker habit.  You’ll feel better when you do.  I know I did *Kicker clean since 2010 and proud*.

From Around The Web

  1. Wallpaper Paterson says:
    (link)

    It is kind of silly to use kickers.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      It really really is.

  2. One Man Crusade says:
    (link)

    tempting. I have considered removing kickers for a few years now.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      It’s totally worth it. I strongly suggest everyone does.

  3. fantasyvultures says:
    (link)

    Can’t we just replace the kicker category with something more meaningful like team cheerleaders or sideline reporters?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      Ha! I got dibs on the Sea-Gals.

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
      (link)

      @fantasyvultures: Serious answer to your funny query-
      if we rid kickers from our leagues we could keep the roster size the same. This would allow us to hold onto one more RB or WR.

      • fantasyvultures says:
        (link)

        @Wallpaper Paterson: true! Could also go with two tight ends in starting lineup since the league is changing.

        • Principle Blackman says:
          (link)

          @fantasyvultures:
          Leagues should drop kickers and start experimenting with (or expanding as the case may be) IDP options.

  4. Jack Full of Hate says:
    (link)

    Miss South Carolina gave me a side cramp I laughed so hard *note marijuana was used in this viewing*

    Razzball T Shirt idea – I kicked my kicker habit!

    It will leave so much open for interpretation by the masses and might make you look funny instead of bad nerdy in front of girls. “Oh Wallpaper Patterson, you are so funny with your funny shirts”

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      @Jack Full of Hate: Trust me, you don’t need Mary Jane to make fun of Mary Jane, or what ever her name is.

      Haha, that would be good! Maybe I can get Grey to wrangle something up. If we make it a V-Neck, hipsters would buy it and say they’re being ironic even they don’t know what ironic means half the time.

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
      (link)

      @Jack Full of Hate: I am married and not looking. Therefore, I don’t care if girls would find me weird or geeky or nerdy for wearing such a shirt. My target audience would be dudes. The cool ones would know what is up. The dungeons and dragons crew would be lost.

  5. Keith says:
    (link)

    There is nothing worse than losing to a kicker..the only thing that comes close is defense…what is the argument for keeping defenses?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      It’s more strategy to pick/stream a defense. Not saying its great but at least picking one from week to week requires a little thought.

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
      (link)

      @Keith: Team defense sucks even worse than kickers. It especially sucked in a CBS league in 2010 where my opponent had Ben Roethlisberger and I had the Steelers defense. Roethlisberger threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown. It hurt my team a lot. It did not hurt my opponent’s team. Made no f’in sense at all. The Steelers defense did not allow a touchdown on the play. The steelers offense allowed the score. Also, no negative points for a QB throwin’ a pick in that league.

      • Sky

        Sky says:
        (link)

        That sounds like a setting issue. I’ve never had a pick-6 count against a defense except for the XP

      • Mike says:
        (link)

        @Wallpaper Paterson:
        I’ve had the same problem. I also feel like the special teams half of defense should be removed. Very little strategy in picking special teams units which don’t always coincide with good defense. If your D gets lit up its one thing but a fluky punt return TD shouldn’t count against defense.

  6. Mike says:
    (link)

    I did this a few years ago in my primary league. Most of the league bitched and whined at first, but they wouldn’t have it any other way now.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      Exactly. Kicker is just so…ugh, fantasy kicker just sounds silly, ya know?

Comments are closed.