To say that Doug Martin went off tonight for his fantasy owners would be an understatement. For various reasons, many of his owners had been frustrated with the rookie running back coming into the game in Minnesota today. Some were frustrated with the last few weeks seeing LeGarrette Blount at the goal line where they wondered if Martin would ever see those easy chances. Others were frustrated with a start to the year in which he averaged 61 yards on the ground and only garnered one touchdown, not to mention an unsatisfying 8 receptions over the first 4 games. Well as Puck would say, give me your hands, if we be friends/And Robin shall restore amends. Don’t ask me who Robin is in this metaphor…Maybe it’s Robin Wright or the 1950’s sidekick of Batman.  It doesn’t really matter so long as it’s not Chris O’Donnell’s version of Robin. Any time you can substitute ‘But I wanted to ride the pony!’ for every line someone says is never a good sign of a good screen play nor of a good actor. But I digress, what I really came here to say is I told you to buy Doug earlier this month and he decided to drop 204 total yards on the night along with two touchdowns. Since my said buy shout out: 467 total yards, 8 receptions and 3 total touchdowns. I call them as I see them and sometimes I don’t even need my eyes open to do it. Heck, I wrote that one about him while falling asleep on the toilet. Overall, there’s no reason not to see Doug as a high upside RB2 for the rest of the season. In other fantasy football news…
Adrian Peterson – The reports of his death were greatly exaggerated. The scary thing about his end line tonight of 123 yards on 14 carries and a touchdown? It could’ve been better…sooooo much better. Though he had an early fumble, the Vikings as a team were a mess. If anyone else could’ve established any sort of authority in the game for Minny, we’d have a different RB as the lede for the night…or morning as it were.
Christian Ponder – On Golden Ponder needs a cleaning. This one is filled with scum from 2011. If you’re a Vikings DEF owner, look no further than Christian as your culprit tonight. He led Minnesota to so many three and outs to start the game, the Vikings were faced with an early uphill battle they could never fully recover from. That’s now two straight weeks of looking like Judas for this Christian. If he’s your QB2, don’t be confused by his week 6 kiss. It’s time to look elsewhere.
Josh Freeman – The box score is going to tell you Freeman was great last night. Well, thankfully, I’m not a box score. I’m a person from the internet and as you know we never lie. He did not look good. A few throws that went wrong that just needed to go a bit wrongier and we’re swapping our Ponder story with our Freeman story. Granted he did make a few key throws – the one to Mike on 3rd and long down the sideline in the 3rd quarter was a beauty – but early on in the game I kept thinking to myself ‘which QB will make the biggest mistake first? That will decide the flow of the game’. At one point if my beer-addled memory serves me correctly he was 15/31 for 184 yards and 3 TDs. So let me get this straight: he didn’t complete even 50% of his passes and had 3 TDs at one point tonight. Something about that kind of line starts with an ‘f’ and rhymes with ‘dookie’. Color me not impressed. If someone out there wants to believe he’s really QB1 material, take advantage. My sell call still stands.
Percy Harvin – How does he do it? Ponder drops a complete clunker and he still manages 90 yards and a touchdown on 7 receptions. It’s like he’s immune to suck no matter how close the contagion is. Since I traded for him in the Razzball Writers League earlier this week – albeit not before the game tonight which makes me angry at a certain Master of the Podcastodial Arts – I’m really praying he doesn’t contract an STD – Suck Time Disease – during his time away from my team.
Michael Jenkins – Had 78 yards on 4 receptions and a healthy 9 targets. Now for as much as I ripped on Ponder, the O-line really was terrible at giving him a shot at throwing deep, something Tampa Bay is known to give up. Jenkins took over the role of Jerome Simpson on the night, who had 2 receptions and a fumble for 37 yards on the night with his 7 receptions. If Ponder had just a second or two more here and there, we might’ve seen a few more Simpson long bombs. Instead, we found out that Jenkins was not chicken. Or had chicken, depending on your internet meme interpretation.
Mike Williams – Is this the same guy the industry left for dead coming into the season? Is it also the same guy I said was WR3 worthy coming into the draft? I think Freeman has a better rapport with Mike coming into the season than Vincent Jackson and when playing a tough defensive opponent it shows. Overall, Mike has thoroughly impressed me with his consistency since week 3 in terms of targets. He’s also thoroughly impressed me by staying on target with my original projections of him. I’m so glad he reads the site! Speaking of V-Jax owners, I’m pretty sure he trained under David Blaine. And for his next trick, Vincent will eat his own head!
Kyle Rudolph – His team had a hard time throwing the ball all night. Perhaps it had to do with only 2 targets for Rudolph. Hint, hint Minnesota Derpings: throw to your 6’6″ 260 pound Tight End. Meanwhile, Dallas Clark gets 3 receptions on 3 targets to go with 40 yards. If he’d gotten 41, he would’ve had a touchdown for a second straight week. You hearing that, Ponder? Like Debbie, Kyle can do Dallas if you get him the ball…no, not the little snack cakes, Ponder. I know, the Oatmeal creme pies really are good but stay focused. If Dallas can get get 40 yards, so should Kyle, ok?
