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firerivers

I think everyone knows of my (now patented!) unbiased Chargers fandom when it comes to the pleasurable sport of football. I find solace in my own restraint, rationality, and humbleness in terms of rooting for a singular team while covering the league. I… ah, who are we kidding. All of us have our vices. Grey sports a mustache. Tehol doesn’t wear pants. And myself? Well, I root for the Chargers. What can I say? I love the smell of hot mediocrity in the morning. But tonight, it’s my night. A Chargers primetime game means I’m going to be in my element. And by element, I mean completely and utterly blackout drunk. How would this be any different than any other Monday you might ask? I’d say: It’s not. I’ll just be doing it in my power blues…

 

By the Numbers

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1,248 – The number of passing yards for Philip Rivers, which leads the league.

4.8 – Yards per attempt by Michael Vick in Week 4, fewest by a Steelers quarterback since 2009.

154.9 – Rivers passer rating versus the Browns in Week 4.

478Antonio Brown’s receiver yards so far this season, tied for the league lead with Julio Jones.

99 – Career games for Antonio Gates. In his return from susepension, tonight will mark 100 games played, second among all tight ends behind Tony Gonzalez (111).

99 – The projected total of Philip Rivers children.

 

Drinking Game

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Take one sip of beer if…

Philip Rivers makes a punchable face.

Jon Gruden says something that’s complete nonsense. Bonus sip if Mike Tirico has no idea how to respond.

Danny Woodhead and Darren Sproles are mentioned in the same sentence.

The Steelers go for a screen pass to Le’Veon Bell or Antonio Brown.

Chris Berman says something just completely stupid.

Mike McCoy doesn’t go for it on a 4th-and-1 in Steelers territory. (Take baby sips.)

Take one shot of liquor if…

Chargers have a meltdown.

Ray Lewis looks stabby during the pregame show.

Vick turns the ball over or overthrows the receiver.

They show a Steelers Super Bowl montage.

 

Totally Legimate Game Prediction

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Steelers – None of the points.

Chargers – All of the points.