As the title denotes, we talk Aaron Rodgers, we talk Westworld (starts at 47:00 to avoid spoilers), and we delve a little bit into what is an election season that needs to end very soon for all of our sanity. Jen, Zach, Tehol, and newcomer Matt Bowe (Unbreakable MB!) join in a discussion about how at this point, a meteor that starred in Armageddon could probably win the presidency in a landslide. But because my oratory skills were created out of pure magic and the essence of lilac, we were able to transition back into football and what actually happened to Kaepernick and what we can expect moving forward. The struggles of Aaron Rodgers and Randall Cobb were covered, along with Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott, the recent Knile Davis trade, and as a final treat, we hearken back to our humble Game of Throne podcast roots and discuss a new heralded show from HBO; Westworld, mostly because SEO hits are becoming harder and harder to come by. Theories, characters, and a couple season predictions are made. Enjoy! (And as a bonus, we lost Tehol in the middle of the show, so I guarantee you’ll love at least half the show. Or, you know, the other half. But 50% will be golden.)

Note: Week 7 Rankings will be released later today!

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2008-Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers walks off the field after losing to the Atlanta Falcons 27-24. The Green Bay Packers hosted the Atlanta Falcons at Lambeau Field Sunday October 5, 2008. Steve Apps-State Journal.

Greetings! Oh how I wonder… will the Elder Gods bless me this week? Will they take the six pounds of Mexican schwag as a gift in place of my usual animal sacrifice, or will they rain piss down upon me as if they were R. Kelly (only if he had a full grown African elephant chonger) for not coming correct with some high-grade blueberry kush? Only time will tell, but what is time really anyway? Just a creative way of recording our meaningless existence on this earth as we build this fascinating technology-driven world, only for us to be eventually wiped out like the courageous dinosaurs before us, obliterated like krill being sucked up by a massive blue whale. Oh, to be young again. Building forts, playing General Chaos on Sega Genesis, catching frogs, measuring dick… And what is life now? Fantasy football?  Help me.

I am Lord Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take head!

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keenum

Wow, did I just give the lede to Case Keenum? Based on points, the dude is barely a top twenty fantasy quarterback. On the season he has just seven touchdown passes in six games. I think Matt Ryan had six in one game. Ok, I know he didn’t, but some weeks it feels like he did. In his six games Keenum has thrown six completions to the opposing team. For those not as quick as others, that is what laymen would call an interception. It really seems that I am making a case against Keenum here, and the truth is, I am. I wouldn’t own him anywhere. I’d own Ryan Tannehill over Keenum. I’d probably own Ryan Fitzcraptrick over Keenum. Ok, maybe that’s not true, but you get the point. However, this post isn’t necessarily about who I’d own for the season. Instead, what I try to do here each week is to assemble a lineup using players sitting on the majority of waiver wires that would beat just about any lineup put in its path. Here’s this week’s selections. Or is it last week’s?

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Oct 16, 2016; Oakland, CA, USA; Kansas City Chiefs running back Jamaal Charles (25) carries the ball against the Oakland Raiders during the second quarter at Oakland Coliseum. Mandatory Credit: Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Well, we all saw that coming. We all knew the Miami Dolphins were going to smash the Pittsburgh Steelers, and we all knew that they were going to do so by riding Jay Ajayi and his 204 rushing yards and two touchdowns. We all knew that, even with Arian Foster coming back, Ajayi would get 25 carries and, oh, you know, rattle off 8.2 YPC on the day. We all knew Jay Ajayi, sent down from above by his Heavenly father to be the savior of the Dolphins in the fifth round of the NFL draft last year, was going to get more touches than any running back not named Terrance West, Ezekiel Elliott, Lamar Miller, or Melvin Gordon.

And, of course, we all knew that Spencer Ware was going to get 26 touches on 40 snaps to Jamaal Charles’s 11 on 15. This was the first time all year that many Jamaal Charles owners started him, as he was finally considered healthy enough for a full workload. So, of course, Ware dominated the snaps and touches. But we all knew that was going to happen. That’s what makes this so easy!

Now, if you are this far into the article and haven’t been able to detect the sarcasm, please stop reading. We cannot help you here. You have bigger problems than fantasy football, and you will not find the answers here. You will likely only find more questions and a Simpsons referenced forced into here somewhere (this one doesn’t count).

For the rest of you, we have work to do. This was another strange week for running backs, as I so subtly alluded to above, and we have a number of question marks at running back going forward.

And now, to the report…

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anigif_enhanced-31980-1403820929-23

Hey! Heeeeeeey! Put on your parachute pants, kids, it’s time to take a trip back to years gone by and reminisce of what used to be and what can be. But before you get carried away thinking I’m discussing something from the early 90’s (current Millennial fashion is bringing that back up quite enough), pump the brakes a bit once you get to 2010.

Pump the brakes. That’s what I need y’all to do for me. Just a little bit. Because, see, back in 2010 we saw a ‘breakout’ occur for the one Kenny Britt. What did that breakout entail? 73 targets in 12 games for a 42/775/9 line (18.5YPC) when playing for the Titans. I remember Britt then bring primed for further ascension into the upper echelon of WR tierdom before the 2011 season. However, if you didn’t pump the brake you were duped when he produced a 17/289/3 line in just 3 games. Which leads us to how you should work the waiver wire heading into Week 7 of the 2016 fantasy football season!

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faab-dlewis

Your fantasy football team is a disaster. I know with these waiver wire recommendations we will make your team great again. These players are winners. With the help of these players your team will be winning again. I know the best players in the world. I know the good ones, I know the bad ones, I know the overrated ones. The San Francisco 49ers running back situation is a disaster. Carlos Hyde suffered a shoulder injury. Mike Davis is his replacement. Dion Lewis could return to practice this week. Don’t know what to do? Here’s advice from somebody with a very good brain that’s said a lot of things…

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101116-nfl-tampa-bay-buccaneers-jacquizz-rodgers-vresize-1200-675-high-76

Welcome back, my loyal Horde. We are almost at the halfway point in the season and up until now, things have been pretty busy. Speaking of busy, wow, what an eventful week it has been this past week, right?. It seems that my Black Widow Curse was out in full force in Week 6 and I lost quite a few people, including my starting quarterback. Sorry Ben, nothing personal but at least now you know what it feels like to fall victim to something more powerful than you. Kind of like the co-eds you…oh, wait, I’m going to take the high road here (fill in the blanks if you will). I have to admit, by far, this is one of the worst Fantasy Football seasons I have ever been a part of, if not the worst. I can’t seem to pull a win out of anywhere (and believe me, I’ve tried). My booms are busts and my busts are busts. I am just heaving with such ample bust(s) (in more ways than one) that it’s a wonder that I can get anything done. Oh, the pains of loving something that completely abuses you every week and doesn’t love you back. Now I know how the men I have dated feel. But, it is what it is, and like some women, I am hoping to stay in this thing long enough to change things for the better, but we all know how that works out. I’m going to keep trying though. Not just for me, you see, but for all of you, my loving and trusting horde. Without you, I am still pretty amazing, but you give me some purpose. So, without further ado, let’s see what I can do to satisfy your weekly craving for me by giving you Hit it or Quit it, Week 7.

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I mean, after Sunday Night Football‘s barn burner, could my heart take Jets vs. Cardinals? Uh, yeah. Apparently there was room to spare. I’m not quite sure what else to say about whatever it is I watched last night, but it involved Patrick Peterson dressing up as a tyrannosaurus rex. So there’s that, I guess. Yeah, sure, it might have been interesting to see if the Jets could pull off an upset against a pretty meh Cardinals team as a reason to delude themselves into thinking their season wasn’t over yet… But then you remember it’s the Jets in prime time and you wonder what you did to deserve this. And that’s not even including the fact that you have to deal with Chris Berman. I’m going to get five more jobs and work really hard. Then I’m going to save my money and invest some of it. Then I’m gonna cut my costs down as much as I can. Then I’ll be rich. And then I’m going to launch a satellite into space that has a high-powered rail gun on it. And then I’m going to shoot it at Chris Berman. Oh, and David Johnson is the man. That is all.

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While many of us wondered why we would ever watch a Colts and Texans Oilers (their momma named ’em the Oilers, so I’m going to call ’em the Oilers) Sunday Night Football game, you have to remember that we all make bad life decisions. I mean, what’s the NLCS anyways? Is that like the LGBT or something? But hey, sometimes the games that you give zero efs about with no one to cheer for turn out great. This was not one of those times, at least not until the fourth quarter where we suddenly found ourselves in overtime (where I immediately said to myself: “sh*t, we’re in overtime”). Since the Texans Oilers aren’t a real team, it probably made a lot of sense there was a fairytale ending (thanks in large part to that amazing catch by Jaelen Strong shown above). On top of that, you might wonder why we’re talking about the Texans Oilers, and I’d like to use it as a fantasy football segue… Week 6 is behind us and at this point, and you should know where you are in the great and very metaphorical fantasy football landscape. Much like how the Texans Oilers, now at 4-2, know that they are a team that is in the hunt for the playoffs, they could use a little bit more help from certain players, and a little bit luck to make their push. I’d like to think that describes a majority of fantasy teams out there right now, minus the whole Brock Osweiler thing. What I’m saying here might even describe fantasy teams that find themselves atop their respective leagues, but unfortunately, probably not the teams that find themselves at the bottom with an 0-6 record. Coming back from such a deficit may not be worth thinking about, so in times like this when you are way behind (something I’m quite familiar with… something we all are), my recommendation is to drink up. I mean, don’t drink too much… motionless and face down is not how I want to see anybody. (There’s a great Bill Cosby joke around here somewhere, but I’ll settle for: I’ll take “Things Darren Sharper has never said” for $1,000 Alex.) But if you’re one of the teams lagging a bit behind, let’s say you are 1-5 or 2-4, and desperate hope combined with dark wizardry are the only vehicles driving your will to play until another fantasy obsession distracts you (granted, Texans Oilers games are technically considered torture porn, if that’s your thing), well, now is the time to do wild stuff. Do some crazy trades, make some risky decisions, just let all your inhibitions go. True, this might be like buying an extra bottle of Centrum Silver to help fight stage four lung cancer, but… you’ve got nothing to lose. And for those of you are in the middle of all this mess? Well then, that’s why Razzball is here. Oh, and if you’re a Colts or Texans Oilers fan, I’d appreciate it if you found some different teams to like…

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saints-fan

With the Chargers game won and done with this past Thursday, I can finally ditch my usual Sunday malaise and enjoy football as a true unbiased spectator. And what better way to do that than by watching a riveting 49ers vs. Bills game. Jesus Christ NFL. Alright, alright, you’re right, I won’t go through my often-used diatribe on how this year’s schedule looks like it needed a little bit less cocaine and probably a bit higher literary rate for those who conceived of, so let’s celebrate the good games today. All three of them. First, the Falcons have a chance to start their soul and season crushing six game losing streak against the Seahawks, the Dakboys take on the Packers and an uncharacteristically sh*tty version of Aaron Rogers at the currently unfrozen tundra. And last, and certainly least, the 1-4 Panthers take on the 1-3 Saints, in what should be a fun dumpster fire. Cam Newton should be starting, so don’t add the tires yet… but be sure to keep them on standby.

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 6 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

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