Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ahh, it’s that refreshing time of year when the scorching heat is finally dying down, and the weather is turning cold enough to completely forget about the summer. With the middle of the season approaching, the fantasy outlook, like the weather, is rapidly changing. Sure you may have had one of the best teams in the league when Eric Decker and DeAngelo Williams were still producing, but those days are gone and their positions have been filled. This is true for many of the players you drafted, whether they were once putting up great numbers or not, and it’s about time to adapt to the changes. Get ready to trust in players you never thought you would, in this week’s Beyond the Numbers.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s good amigos? Don’t be startled. The door was unlocked so I let myself in. Calm down. Let’s be friends. Here, let me loosen the zip ties and we’ll start with a proper introduction. I’m Honcho, the bearer of good tidings. I’m here to bless you with only the best passing and rushing match ups of the week. Obviously if you own Le’Veon Bell and Tom Brady you’re playing them. They won’t be mentioned below. Deal with it, bro. So anyway, bring your green hat because we’re going streaking! This is such a bittersweet time of the season. I mean, we’re nearly half way through the regular portion of the fantasy schedule and the air is starting to have a chill to it here in the Midwest. That means a variety of things, but most importantly – football season is in full swing. Is there anything better than throwing on your favorite jersey or sweatshirt and gathering around a roaring Galaxy Note 7 to roast some marshmallows with your closest friends? Yeah, that’s the best. Just you and your closest acquaintances debating who gets to dress up as Ken Bone for this years Halloween party. Sounds hot right? Thought so. You know what else is hot right now? Phoenix. They’re prepping for the return of their beloved quarterback and it will be a glorious reunion. You see, Carson Palmer cleared the concussion protocol earlier this week and he’s ready to wreak havoc on the Jets’ and their porous pass defense. As Donald Trump would so eloquently put it: “The Cardinals are going to win – they’re going to win so big on Monday night.” Most of you might be hesitant to believe this, due to the slow start Palmer has produced thus far. But fear not as the Jets have allowed 302.4 passing yards per game this season, that’s good for second worst in the league. The fact that Darrelle Revis is still very questionable for this contest should have you inflating your Bruce Arians blow-up dolls to the legal limit. New York has surrendered 12 passing scores through their first five games while generating just two interceptions. That’s not ideal. What’s worse, they’re allowing opposing QBs an average of 25.8 fantasy points per game since Week 3 along with 13.4 points given up to tight ends. Both rank as second worst in the NFL. Sounds like a date in the desert Monday night. I’ll pick you up at 8:37 PM EST.
Here’s a look at my favorite passing and rushing match ups for Week 6:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to Week 6! This is my favorite time of the fantasy year. We get to reflect on the last five weeks, figure out the missing pieces that are needed to take our fantasy game to take the next step, and act upon those missing pieces. If things have gone bad for you, don’t worry about it, and if things have gone pretty terribly, don’t worry about it as well. Some situations such as those with C.J. Anderson and Devontae Booker have fantasy owners asking themselves, “Who do I stash?”, or “Who has the better future in hold”? Questions like these might make or break your fantasy year based off of timing and effective Waiver Wire maneuvering. However, not all running backs are being threatened of workload to an up-and-coming rookie in the fold. Some backs have the job locked up, and are even moving on to an increasingly larger workload based off of numerous factors. So let’s head out to L.A. and get started!Please, blog, may I have some more?
My favorite NFL soundbite is of Vince Lombardi yelling out to one of his legendary Packer teams, “What the hell’s going on out here?” I laugh every time because it’s really a statement that can be used in almost any context. Driving in heavy traffic on the freeway through a construction zone and see a bunch of guys standing around: (insert Lombardi.) Trying to catch up on some “light reading” in the bathroom and your kids sound like a freakin’ parade is going through your living room: (insert Lombardi.) But, because it’s from the football universe, I thought it was an appropriate transition into this week’s RCL updates…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of “I’m Sorry Guys”, our recurring series here at Razzball where I apologize for not being in the comments for last week’s article and for not doing my normal weekly opening paragraph due to major life events. This week, I’ll talk about how I didn’t write the usual lede because I just got engaged this past weekend, and nobody bothered to tell me that planning a wedding is pretty much a second full-time job. How’d I get engaged, you ask? Well, it was a dreary Saturday in Central Park… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this is actually another installment of Deep Impact, and also that nobody cares how I got engaged (that’s pretty rude, Jay, but thanks for responding to the questions last week). Let’s jump right into these names, folks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Two things were on my mind entering last night’s Thursday Night Football game: First, why are the Chargers wearing a new shade of blue? Second, what soul shattering way would the Chargers lose this week? And if there was a third thing, then I probably would have wondered which Chargers player would get the weekly season-ending injury. But let’s just handle the first two here since no one died last night, besides my liver. (Happens all the time.) So, these color rush uniforms… More like color FLUSH, amiright? Seriously, I’m glad the era of bulb televisions are over and done with, otherwise the Broncos jerseys would have burned a hole into the screen. And you mix in that blue from the Chargers, it’s almost as if someone threw crayons in the washer before the game. And then there was the actual game, which offered us your prototypical Chargers performance… middling at times, amazing at times, all of it masquerading as a vehicle to setup yet another heartbreaking loss in the fourth quarter. What would it be this time? A Rivers pick-six? Another bad snap on a field goal? An alien invasion? A fan rushing the field mid-pass during a game-winning TD with three seconds to go nullifying it all? Oddly, none of that happened. Instead, some field goals, some Hunter; Henry!, and a safety along with the Broncos kind of just fading in the fourth quarter from a combination of costly offensive holding penalties and incurring the penalty of Trevor Siemian holding their offense back. WORD PLAY. Call me, ladies.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome back to the Razzball streamer article. I was watching the debate on Sunday for a little entertainment (sorry Collinsworth), and began to imagine what it would be like if Donald Trump played fantasy football. He would be the guy in your league who makes awful trades and brags to you non-stop about them as if they were genius. Donald Trump would be the guy who is 1-4 at this point but would point out that he is in the top half of the league in scoring but always gets screwed over with who he played against. Trump would probably be the guy who would be campaigning to be the commissioner next year for no reason other than to threaten to kick the current commissioner out of the league. If Hillary Clinton played fantasy football it wouldn’t be much better. Hillary would most likely collude with other league members to make unfair trades and when the commissioner would ask for the evidence of whether the trade was fair or not, those text messages would somehow be deleted. Also trash talk in your league would be closely monitored for things that could be offensive, so that wouldn’t be very fun. I’m glad we did this. It wasn’t at all pointless…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Depending on your league, there should be some very enticing options on the waiver wire at the wide receiver position this week. Many of you will be debating the merits of scooping up Cameron Meredith. If this article comes out after your waiver wire process, then you can check to see if you missed out on the next big thing or drown in your tears with buyer’s remorse.Please, blog, may I have some more?
|Week 5||9 out of 138||42||32||4||112||56||12|
|Week 4||5 out of 141||60||15||6||49||4||62|
|Week 3||22 out of 139||41||18||62||21||7||32|
|Week 2||96 out of 139||96||116||38||107||13||8|
|Week 1||66 out of 138||63||73||34||116||32||23|
|2016||11 out of 133||57||30||9||83||9||8|
I’m happy to report that Razzball had another great week with rankings. Tehol finished in the top-10 for quarterbacks, and on top of that, Rudy’s Pigskinator was able to rank first for wide receivers. That’s actually pretty amazing. Not only that, but for those of you who play in IDP leagues, Rudy’s projections finished second overall, and achieved top-10 status for both kickers and DSTs! Just some amazing results all around. And while it might seem self-serving when I wax poetic about our accuracy feats, it’s not just because I love talking about myself all the time (call me, ladies), it’s also because our success hopefully translates to our reader’s success. And if not? Then just do what I always do and blame Obama…
Here are your Week 6 Rankings… (Rest of Season rankings have been updated and can be found here!)Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sadly, Tehol wasn’t driving, which automatically disqualified him for appearing on the pod, so in his stead, Mike Maher (who writes the Handcuff Report series) joined us so Zach could teach us what Yom Kippur is and why he’s starved himself to only eat food and upset his God. Or Gods. I’m not actually clear how many of them there are, but that’s mainly because I was raised a Catholic, which means I grew up not caring about anything but self-guilt. Mike, Zach, and myself do find time to preview all the upcoming games while also discussing fun topics like: Is Carson Wentz legit? What’s going on with Matt Jones? Should we right the Sammy Coates hype train? Are you buying Todd Gurley still? And why do any of us still thinking owning a Cardinals wide receiver is a good idea? Enjoy!
Note: Week 6 Rankings will be released later today!Please, blog, may I have some more?