johnbrowntdcel

Real question, is this the first Sunday Night Football game of the week, or is this the second? True, I believe you could technically call the game a few days ago Thursday Night Football, because, you know, the game was on Thursday. But we didn’t get the “NFL/CBS” production, a combination that I still believe is the end of the world as we know it. Trust me, every time I see Phil Simms open his mouth at Jim Nantz’s bidding, tell me you don’t see visions of a huge asteroid hitting the earth… I sure do. Then again, you could probably consider it a blessing in that situation. Regardless, we got the NBC production crew, and I’m actually trying to recall how they addressed themselves on that day. I’m sure they called it Thursday Night Football, but I don’t really have any recollection. It could be because Cris Collinsworth causes me to go into a medically-induced coma whenever he starts talking about his loving relationship with offensive lineman. WE GET IT CRIS, YOU’RE IN LOVE. KISS ALREADY. But at this point, I think it’s safe to say that I was able to fill enough space in the lede without talking about the actual game, because honestly, there is no Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski, and it’s at Arizona. I’m pretty sure I know how this going to go…

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It's gonna be a long year for these Cowboys...

I have to admit, after including some thoughts on today’s remembrance in our earlier live thread, I think the pre-ceremonies around the league were handled pretty nicely for an event that will forever live in infamy. (Hey, if you’re going to quote someone, might as well be one of the best.) And speaking of the today’s earlier live thread, I would be remiss not to mention again that while I’m completely ecstatic that football has returned, and even doubly ecstatic (is that a thing?) that my Chargers are looking pretty good right now against the Chiefs, that for the general NFL fan, there really wasn’t any premiere matchups to open up the first Sunday of the regular season. No pizzazz. No jazz hands, if you will. And if you didn’t know, Football and jazz hands are like pees and carrots, Jet Li and Delroy Lindo, Tom Brady and uggs,… you get the point. But does the afternoon slate give us a bit more in terms of storylines and rivalries? I feel like it’s a resounding MAYBE. That’s how we do resounding here folks, all caps. Forget the Dolphins and Seahawks, or even the Lions and Colts, no, the focus should be on the NFC East matchup between the Giants and Cowboys. Romoless Cowboys, sure, but with all the derp you get from this division, you basically had me at “NFC Eeee”. Speak no further, I’M F*CKING IN. We’ll see the debut of Dax Prescott, Eli Manning consistently throwing it 10 feet away from Odell Beckham Jr. just to see what happens, and of course Troy Aikman and Joe Buck. The last one isn’t really a highlight, but more a cry for help. Or, you know, a reminder to use horse tranquilizers to get through it all…

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iggle

With the Panthers and Broncos Super Bowl 50 rematch in the books thanks to Graham Ganope doing his best impersonation of Blair Walsh, or, you know, the O.G.: Billy Cundiff, the first Sunday of Football has finally arrived! And what a plethora of choices to choose from in the morning portion of today’s schedule… so many historic matchups, so many engrossing storylines… we have the Packers visiting the Jaguars… uh, err. Okay, never mind with that one. We have the Bills taking on the Ravens. Uhhhh no. Hmm. Bears at Texans? Eh… Okay, okay, we have the Browns at the Eagles! Actually, what the f*ck? Oh, wait everyone, I found an interdivisional game with a storyline to boot… the Buccaneers take on the Falcons! Sh*t, that’s from the NFC South, the NFL’s very own dumpster fire. Vikings at Titans? Seriously? Bengals at Jets… Raiders at Saints… Chargers at Chiefs? Okay, honestly, what is going on here? Yeah, excuse me, NFL scheduler? Yeah, you should probably drive over to my house so I can promptly punch you in the ear. Sigh. It’s like they know that we haven’t had any real football for the last 20 years and they are getting rid of all these terrible games in the first week. I’d respect the strategy if I wasn’t stuck watching the execution. Welp, might as well check out the Browns and Eagles, that seems like a game that could reach derp level ten in no time… or cause profound alcohol consumption. Seems good.

Oh, before we get to our updated rankings and all of your lineup questions, if you missed it, Rudy released the Pigskinator (which can be accessed from our Menu above or by clicking here). These tools provide you with in-season weekly projections that you can use on a game-by-game basis. In addition, we also unveiled a brand new Daily Fantasy Bot that’ll help you win some of that cash monies, if you’re into that sort of thing. I mean, it’s money, so you could say I’m a fan. Check these out, as they are completely free to use for the next four weeks!

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Greetings from the secret, WiFi-enabled Razzball bunker! It has taken a while but we finally got our robots to broaden their heretofore MLB-limited expertise and start cranking out NFL in-season projections for both season-long (Standard, 1/2 PPR, PPR) and DFS.

It has been a mad sprint to being ready opening day so I don’t have all the documentation to share but hoping the below summary will suffice for now.

Before I lose those of you who have no interest in how the sausage is made, we’re making both the season-long and DFS projections free for the first 4 weeks of the NFL Season. Below are the links (also can be found under Tools in the top menu). Player pages should be up shortly (ETA end of next week).

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The kickoff to the regular season is fast approaching which means your Week 1 fantasy matchup is also just around the corner.  Whether you’ve already drafted or your league waits until the last possible minute, there are key injuries you need to keep in mind when setting your lineups for Week 1 and thinking about your championship strategy.  With that in mind, here are a few key players with injuries you’ll want to watch…

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latavius-murray

Football is back, and better than ever. After an offseason that felt like it lasted forever, we finally get to sit back, relax and enjoy some games that count. It seems like ages ago Cam Newton left his press conference. But here we are. For me, it means benching the wrong player at 12:59 pm. But (hopefully) you will not make any wrong decisions this year en route to that coveted fantasy title. It’s time to forget about 2015, and focus on the year ahead.

Although the mentality of Week 1 of the NFL Season in a fantasy sense means to just start the players that we drafted in order, this might not always be the case with a lot of fantasy teams. Especially for the owners that drafted Jamaal Charles in the 2nd-round. Players like Jameis Winston, Blake Bortles, Jeremy Hill, Adrian Peterson, DeMarco Murray, Mike Evans, and even Jarvis Landry all have either bad or less-than-ideal matchups to kick off the NFL season. I always advocate the strategy of “never bench your studs”, however, if we can definitely upgrade at a position to maximize the upside in our starting lineup, we should go for it. Simply put, Week 1 isn’t a guarantee.

Many teams enter Sunday with high hopes for the 2016 season. But one team in particular is looking to have a season like no other in the past few years. The Oakland Raiders enter the year with great young talent, veteran leadership where it matters the most, and to capitalize on a weakened division with play from their high-powered offense.

And their running back is at the forefront of it all. So let’s get to it…

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Welcome to this week’s edition of “Dope Imports”, our regular series evaluating the foreign drug trade in the United States. This week, we’ll take a look at drugs coming from Mexico, and hoo boy folks that Donald Trump character may have a few good… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this will be yet another installment of Deep Impact, and also that I am a garbage human being. For those who haven’t been keeping up, this is the series for deep league players seeking fliers so far below the radar that LOOK OUT THEY FLEW RIGHT PAST YOU. Man, that was a close call. For those of you who have been reading, of course you have; look at how intelligent you are and how great you look in a bowtie. Why don’t you wear it more often?

As you’re aware if you live near a TV, computer, radio, newspaper stand, or town crier, Week 1 of the NFL season is upon us. Our previous editions of this series have focused on some players to target in deep formats. Now that the season is beginning, we’ll focus on two types of players: ones to consider playing this week that are very low owned (10% owned or less in Yahoo leagues), and players to consider stashing for later use (using the same 10% threshold). If you want standard league guidance for Week 1 streaming options refer to yesterday’s post by the Unbreakable MB, which had some quality players to choose from, including some below our threshold. Here, we’re going for the deepest cuts only. If you play in standard formats, I’d advise just keeping an eye on these guys for the time being. If you’re wading in deeper waters and have some early season injury issues or matchup concerns, get ready to take the plunge…

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We know you guys couldn’t wait any longer to see episode two of the Razzball Dream League, so here it is. We apologize for the delay. You can blame Sauce, who sent his video in eight years late, yet it’s still the worst quality video I have ever seen in my life. Is it that hard to take a video of your face? Tehol also screwed up the draft order because he forgot what number he was on, so typical. Speaking of typical, this is so rigged. Tehol, the commish picking the draft order, SOMEHOW ends up with the number one pick. He must have a bromance with Antonio Brown just like he does with Tyrod Taylor.

I don’t really have anything else to say here. Watch after the jump and comment below who you think will be crowned champion of this league!

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ganope

Granted, there isn’t a rich history to draw from in terms of “quality football” on Thursdays, but you have to think that this being an actual Sunday Night production, coupled with the fact that we actually haven’t had a real game in what feels like decades, I’m pretty sure I would have been enamored if it was the Vikings playing against the Titans (which we’ll actually receive this Sunday! Wooo?). That being said, the game was actually pretty good on the scale of Graham Gano to those muscles in your arm that benefit the most if you’re throwing a penalty flag. (I mean, there were so many flags this game, it felt more like a United Nations summit, amirite?) Both teams looked sluggish throughout though, which was probably to be expected in the first game of the season. The Broncos and Panthers burned a lot of timeouts too, each for their own derpy reasons. For Denver, they seemingly forgot to count and had multiple downs where 12 men were on the field. For Carolina, five total timeouts from both halves were wasted because of terrible clock management by Newton (though I’m pretty sure Jerry Richardson was only upset with three-fifths of them). In fact, Andy Reid probably uploaded all these timeouts to his PornHUB account. That being said, I have to add that I found myself pretty frustrated with the continued non-calls on what were some brutal hits to Cam Newton. There were at least three blatant roughing the passer calls that were missed (or ignored?), and the last hit, late in the fourth quarter that actually drew a flag (you can see it after the jump), which was a helmet spear of all things, was offset by an intentional grounding. Oh, okay then, that makes sense. But the game was close throughout and quite entertaining, and due to the fact that Trevor Siemian flirted between the lines of profoundly mediocre and downright awful, the Panthers had a chance with seven seconds to win the game with a 44-yard field goal attempt in altitude… so yeah, we know how that turned out. Congrats to your 0-1 undefeated Panthers! Wait a second…

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Riverboat Ron

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sorry, drinking has already started because today is the day. Today is the day football starts! Yeah, I know that you know, but I wanted you to know that I know because I now know that you know. And that’s when my computer exploded. Regardless, not only does the debut of football bring us, you know, football, I also get to debut my beloved Live Game Day Threads. A place where we can hang out, enjoy some memes, discuss the games in front of us, and hopefully learn something. Like in this case, what a Siemian is and what it can do. To be honest, I could tell you better what it could do if one of those vowels were dropped. Like, any of them. But yes, if the GIF above or the just stated close-but-not-so-close sexual innuendo didn’t give it away (or even the title!), our first game of the year features two teams that have a long and storied rivalry dating back to… uh, well, one game. But, to be fair, that game was the Super Bowl (50, or as the Romans would say “L”), a game in which the Broncos defense carried Peyton Manning to another title so he could retire knowing he had one more ring than Tavaris Jackson. It’s important to have goals folks. And while I’m amazed that the NFC South was able to produce a team that actually knew what it was doing last year, an entire offseason has passed since these two franchises met. Will there be a different outcome? Well, unless they’ve figure out how to stop Von Miller, I doubt it… but to be fair, if I still have a Cam Newton combined with the return of Kelvin Benjamin led by the distinguished gentleman known as Riverboat Ro, alln going against a quarterback I hadn’t heard about until a week ago, I’d say your chances to win are preeeetty gooood. Sorry, I’m at the elongated vowels stage of alcohol poisoning…

Our Week 1 Rankings can be found here!

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