Greetings! I write this to you, loyal subjects of Beddict, from the trap-house, the one I share on lengthy drug-bingeing weekends with a pink-haired beauty named Maleficent. I’d give the skin off my balls for 20 minutes of slumber, but you know what, upsetting sweet Jay by not having a post submitted today would latch a gonorrhea burn to my soul for the remainder of my days on planet earth, and that’s something I’d prefer not to live with. Let’s proceed, shall we, aaaaaahkay!

I am Lord Tehol Beddict and this is my Top 200 overall Rankings. TAKE HEED!

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

Do you need a safe and easy way to store your league’s Fantasy Football fees? Look no further than LeagueSafe.  It’s fast, safe, and very user friendly.  Put in promo code: RAZZBALL and get a free $10 added to your league’s purse if you’re a new member!

Also, check out our other sponsor, Fantasy Draft! They are having a 25,000 Freeroll DFS contest this weekend for your chance to check out all of the enhancements that Fantasy Draft has made since last season. Try and win some cash… for free? Check it out!

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Learn more about our 2017 Fantasy Football Subscriptions!

All the season-long projections you could ever want. A kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!.

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Welcome back to the RazzBlitz Podcast.  Zach and I were joined by Mike (Mayer) Maher and Justin Mason of Friends With Fantasy Benefits (and pretty much everywhere else).  Along with the who I mentioned above, this league features heavy hitters such as Chris Towers (CBS), Tim Heaney (ESPN, RotoWire), Mo Brewington (Eagleswire on USAToday), Andy Singleton (Fantrax), the boys from The Point After Show, among a few other real experts. This league is 16 teams and the roster features: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 flex, 1 D/ST, and 1 kicker. Before the Podcast, check out how the boys at Razzball fared…

Join my RCL League today! Eight spots left!

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Hey guys, we are only a few weeks away from real football! Football that actually counts! Holy moly! I’ve been a bit tied up these past few weeks, and haven’t been able to finish my division previews (thanks a lot Sammy Watkins, Ezekeiel Elliot, Julian Edelman and Spencer Ware). So let’s do that, with the final two coming in the AFC West and South. So for today, let’s look at the AFC South!

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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Last night in the NFL Preseason was quite a doozy. After just a few series on offense for the New England Patriots, WR Julian Edelman came up limping and grabbing the back of his knee after a play. Just a few minutes later in the Kansas City game, RB Spencer Ware had to be carted off the field. In New England, the fear is that Edelman has a torn ACL, with a timetable uncertain at this point. In Kansas City, the fears aren’t quite as scary, as the idea is that Spencer Ware has avoided an ACL injury, with only a sprained knee or a PCL injury, with clarity coming in the coming days…

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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And we’re not talking bed sheets folks. Because why would you cheat on those? What would the answers even be like? What does all of this even mean? I have no clue, mostly because it’s a Friday and I checked out as soon as I woke up. But fear not, with our glamorous preseason now in full swing in terms of drafting, why not accessorize your draft ensemble with our very own cheat sheet? And not just any cheat sheet, but one from a site that had the Top-3 Rankings in 2016! This sheet (it’s starting to sound like sh*t, isn’t it…) will contain our updated rankings (STD, Half-PPR, and PPR) and auction values as a viewable Google Sheets document to do with as you please. Holy sheets is right Batman! (Sorry if you’re not Batman.) So get your 2017 Razzball Fantasy Football Cheat Sheets after the jump!

Take on your favorite Fantasy Football contributors and other readers in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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Before I get into this article, let me be clear about one thing:

Terrelle Pryor is an absolute physical freak!  He is a 6-foot 4-inch tall receiver that can run a 4.4 forty yard dash and I was able to witness his dominance first hand in Nashville last season when Pryor snagged 9 receptions for 75 yards and 2 red-zone touchdowns.

Now that I stated the obvious, please allow me to spend the rest of this article arguing that 2017 Fantasy Football drafters should not be buying the Terrelle Pryor hype because he is an unpolished receiver, his new team underwent turnover in the offensive locker room, and most importantly, his draft cost is simply too high.

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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We’re going to be hosting a special presentation tonight (and I’m not just talking about Tehol), as the 2017 RCL Writers League Draft will be shown live here on the site at 9:00 PM EDT via Twitch! There will be plenty of ways to interact with us, through the chat and here in the comment section. We’ll answer your questions, unless it’s about Zach drafting Tom Brady first overall. We just have no idea why. So feel free to post your smack talk, critiques and your questions wherever you want (just the way your mother likes it) when the draft goes live!

STREAM UPDATE: DRAFT LIVE SHOW HAS ENDED!

And if you’d like to join your very own Razzball Commenter League, you can here!

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If you have a choice when drafting, do an auction. (Especially since Razzball just released it’s Auction Values!) If you do an auction, do it live!  Nothing is better than that.  If you can get a group your friends together in one place, for one draft, annually, you will be able to do it in perpetuity. I say this while participating in one live auction draft league for more than a decade and it shows no signs of slowing.

Auction strategy will cross apply with snake drafting and that’s cool as we all play in those leagues too. This isn’t the first Razzball Auction Draft post, here’s the link to malamoney’s post last year, which is a excellent read. One great part of auction drafting is that strategy can differ, and in some cases greatly, compared to snake draft strategy. So I agree with him on some things, disagree on others, and that’s OK! I’m a big fan of the idea of KISS (Keep it simple, stupid – Mr. James Carville) and it’s true in life and Fantasy Football…

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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As the title states, we crowdsourcing. Since you know how much I love my corporate zeitgeist jargon… let’s source the crowd people! So, there are probably a few questions I want to ask, but the main one that branches out into the others (tree metaphors, woooooo) is basically this: What changes would you like to see next year to the RCLs?

We obviously have gone by a half-PPR format ever since I arrived, but everything else was pretty vanilla when it came right down to it… until this year when we rid ourselves of Kickers and DSTs and added three IDP slots.  And it’s exciting because we’d never done anything exotic like this in the past, just a normal flex, 12-teams, preset scoring in most cases, etc., but I think you could have called half-PPR “exotic” several years ago, and now “standard” scoring seems to be a thing of the past. Times are a changin’, as the song says, and I have the feeling that what we know as a “standard league” today is not necessarily what the industry will cater to moving forward. And as a site that not only provides the best supply of puns and “yo momma” jokes, but also tries to pioneer itself whenever possible (mostly with puns and “yo momma” jokes), I am always very open into looking at new ideas and suggestions from the Razzball community and what you’d like to play and compete with. Even if that means you hate the idea of IDPs or still want to draft Kickers and DSTs (why you would ever, I just don’t know!)

I’d love to be progressive (or regressive if the masses speak!) with the RCLs, but I could use a little help. What changes would you like to see? What formats and scoring do you want to play? Let me know in the comment section below!

In the meantime, the season draws near and we still have some leagues open and drafts still going. Why not join a league for a chance at some great prizes? Here’s how…

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Before you begin to read this article, I shall require that you execute a move to a quiet and discreet location. If you have an office, close the door and shut the blinds. If thou works in a cubicle, a restaurant, manual labor, etc., I demand you leave at once. You deserve a sick day, you deserve… my sickness. I will even personally have a doctor write you a note. That is correct, I’ve consummated relationships with numerous doctors, the kind that are not timid when it comes to getting their hands dirty… Usually it’s a pointer finger up my butt, but in this case the gals will gladly write you the letter, prescriptions extra, butt (no pun intended) of course. Marijuana is encouraged, not because I smoke it (I’m sober), but because I’ve been told that’s the only way a human brain can properly portray what I am trying to get across here. If not, just steal some of your wife’s Adderall she keeps for weight-losing emergencies, you know, the stuff she keeps around to impress the co-worker she flicks the bean to three nights a week while you’re drinking macrobrews with your bros, or sleeping on the sidewalk for early Comic-Con admittance. Divorce her? And lose half of your things!?! ARE YOU INSANE? Have your children taken away from you!??!…Depends on the children I suppose. Do you realize your fantasizes of picking up a hot younger woman will disintegrate the moment you are sharing a studio apartment in the city with curtain down the middle with some 20-year-old college junior college grad driving a 2002 Prius, for you are now paying child support and are far less good looking than you’ve believed your entire life. You’ve become sloppy and overweight, balding; you’re a farter with halitosis that needs assistance in having the zits on his back popped. Maybe it’s time for some life changes. Quite possibly, it’s time to hit the gym, get some hair plugs and some benzoyl peroxide wash for your back… OOOOOOOOOOOOOR, you could just focus all you energy and built up repulsion of that badger you married, ON BUILDING THE GREATEST FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! The key to getting out of your marriage ahead just be shutting her out completely and then having a private dick follow her around until he snaps some flicks of her getting papaya from that aforementioned co-worker we spoke of earlier. With that being said… I AM TEHOL BEDDICT and this DISGRACE/DELIGHT! TAKE HEED!

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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