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Seriously, I shouldn’t have to be writing this lead.  This is fantasy football, right?  We’re talking about a fake sport where we want to crush our opponents with an amazing game or two from some star players, right?  Well Baltimore don’t care, people.  This offense has been stuck in neutral all year and – no surprise – so has most of the fantasy worth surrounding the team.  Even good matchups haven’t been exploited to the extent they could be.  Detroit’s secondary should’ve been torched tonight and they were able to move the ball plenty on jump balls.  It was like watching the 2012 season all over again.  I like to think of it as the chuck and pray offense.  Well, last year a lot of prayers were answered.  This year, not so much.  Baltimore can move the ball fairly well but haven’t been able to do much of anything with their opportunities once they get close in.  And that’s why I have to talk about a kicker.  Well, that and the Lions offense was a bit of a bore so that didn’t help.  Either way, Justin Tucker has probably helped more than one fantasy team get to their respective Super Bowl this week and I gotta tell ya…I’m not happy.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you got in.  Yes you.  You know I’d follow you to the ends of the Earth and back.  So here’s to you…you.  But no, it’s just further proof to me that kickers have entirely too much sway on the outcome of this game we play.  Of Justin’s 6 field goals, I’d say 2 of them were legit and the rest was just more Ravens offense failure.  I already went over my disgust with the kicker position this summer.  I don’t think I can cover it any better.  Ok, I probably could’ve but much like Allen Iverson and practice, we talkin’ bout kickers.  Not a game, no not a game…kickers.  So here’s to you, the team that is strutting its stuff on their way to the big game on the big leg of a kicker who may not even finish top 5 at his position next year if the Ravens can figure out what the end zone looks like.  In other fantasy news…ok, ok I know you all wanna know where I went last weekend and why I had JB covering me for the week 15 rundown.  Well, I got to go to this little thing called the Playboy Mansion.  You know, no biggie.  Just me, my Fantasy Baseball compadre Grey Albright, and the handsome SOB I pretended I was all weekend Tehol Beddict.  Since there’s no Thursday Night Football, we might see what we can do to give a taste of the event we went to on Friday but I hold no promises as I should probably be sleeping for the next five days just to make up for the evil I did to myself with an open bar.  I think even my fingers have a hangover right now…neverthewhoo!  Let’s get on with it…

Calvin Johnson – Had some bad drops on the night but don’t worry, none of those drops happened in the end zone!  I was trying to be consoling, clearly I dropped the ball myself.  Megatron finished with 6/98 and plenty of frustrated guys who were 10 points behind in standard coming into Monday night going ‘I got this one in the bag’.

Jacoby Jones – He led his team in receptions and yardage – 6 catches for 80 yards – but of course, still plays for Baltimore so that means he was fantasy irrelevant for most.  I really thought Jacoby Good.  Instead, Jacoby…a’ight.

Reggie Bush – A touchdown!  Was very surprised how well the Lions ran on the Ravens considering how good their front usually is against opposing RBs.  Reggie didn’t show much ill effects from the ills have have been ailing him of late…I’m being honest, can’t remember which ailment has had him down.  Ankle?  Calf?  Either way, he had 101 total yards and a TD.  Word to your Mudder.

Ray Rice – Dropped to a knee with a clear path to the end zone to set up more Tucker time.  As if you haven’t wrought enough pain on your fantasy owners this year than you already had before tonight…

Matthew Stafford – King of the letdown party, Stafford was at home, in a dome and still finished with a meager 235 and one touchdown to go with 3 interceptions.  Normally we get a fantasy feast with this guy.  Instead we got Stafford’s lean cuisine.  Angel hair pomodoro just doesn’t taste right covered in crushed grown ass man tears.

Joe Flacco – Passed for 222 yards but didn’t turn the ball over.  Hey, it looks like Baltimore finally found their Trent Dilfer replacement!

Torrey Smith – I hate Joe Flacco.  Yup, all I got to say right here.  Twelve targets should lead to something…SOMEthing.  Not 4/69.  Bee Tee Dubs, this Ravens squad is looking more and more like the team that makes the playoffs as the 6th seed.  How much do you want to throw up in your mouth right now?  Don’t worry, I just did it for you.  But that’s really only because of that open bar at the Playboy Mansion still.  Oy…somebody get me a 7-Up, some saltines and a new liver please.

87 Responses

  1. Prez says:
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    Down by 19, i had megatron and pitta… Needless to say im out of the playoffs.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      What a way to go out. Seriously, what the cheez whiz Baltimore and Detroit!

    • the imp says:
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      @Prez: In a similar boat. I was up 9 with Pitta up against Rice and Tucker. I was worried Rice finally get it together to beat me. Guess I was worried about the wrong guy.

  2. Jeff says:
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    Championship round have files and cutler (rodgers as well) start whom?

    Defensively I have bills or Indy can pick u up rams, Miami or NE?

    Rb Shady n Vereen sitting Alfred. PPR.

    Rolling with Garçon , Julian and DJAX

    Would love your thoughts. I have been incredibly helpful thank you thank you thank you!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Nice, glad we could help! I don’t know the matchups off hand so it’s hard to say. I’ll have rankings out Thursday morning and have a better idea then but for now the Bills are fine

  3. SMLV1 says:
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    As ive said to JB, got beat but my scraps…Wallace, S. Jackson and R. Matthews.

    Fuuddgggee… Happy Holidays!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Only you didn’t say fudge…damn man, sorry to hear it. Let’s take them out next year!

  4. Zandy says:
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    Thanks Sly for all your help again! Moving on to the next round. Playboy mansion trip was well deserved!
    I know it’s early but have to set waivers and trying to decide if it’s worth picking up SD… I have CLE and TB already

    TB @ Stl
    CLE @ NYJ
    SD vs Oak

    • Zandy says:
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      @Zandy: note after your antics at the mansion “Sly” is prob the more appropriate name for you —- or just an autocorrect annoyance…. Take your pick

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        Ha nice. I’d lean towards STL because they’re at home but Chargers a close second.

        • Zandy says:
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          @Sky: thanks man. Just to clarify. I have TB not STL. Does that mean lean SD?

          • Cram It says:
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            @Zandy: Just to clarify, he said STL

            • Zandy says:
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              @Cram It: just to clarify he said he was leaning to a team that wasn’t listed as an option so clarification was required. Also Cram I didn’t realize you we’re a bears fan so at least we have that in common.
              Ps saw frank white posting in last min decisions on Sunday. I know you we’re concerned

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            Yeah SD has a little upside to them. Still fighting for their playoff lives and at home against a weak opponent

  5. Sniff Test says:
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    I love Jamaal Charles. If I have two more sons I will name them Jamaal and Charles.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Haha, that’s awesome. You should tell the Mrs. you need to have two more just for that reason. I’m sure she’ll understand.

  6. Clint (aka Pablo Death) says:
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    Playboy mansion’s a cool trip but here’s the real question: did you get to “tour” the Grotto?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ha! Nah, something tells me my wife would’ve taken issue with that. Still, whole event was a blast. Surrounded by football, drinks, food, girls…it was like I had died and gone to a modern day Valhalla.

  7. Cram It says:
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    Thank you Baltimore! I mean Tucker! Bears in outright first. Woot!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ha that central has seriously been messy all year. Chicago makes for an interesting playoff team if they can make it in

      • Cram It says:
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        @Sky: Completely different Chicago Bears than I’ve ever known in my lifetime. Absolutely no defense and tons of offense. Feels weird, but enjoying the ride.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          All it’ll take is for the defense to gel at the right time. Clearly the run game is the worst/scariest part

  8. Jagan says:
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    Sky,

    Thanks for all your help I am in SB in 10 of my 13 leagues.I really like the analysis/out-of-the box thinking and this is my first year following your blog.

    I lost in one of the leagues where I need 13 pts in std league from CJ but fell short by 3 pts.What a way to loseeeeeeeeeee

    Do you think if Aaron Rodgers is back I should play him or pick Kirk Cousins?

    I have Romo/Foles as my QBs in most of my leagues and i was starting Foles last few weeks.Should i be worried abt Chip kelly sitting his starters if Dallas Win their game as they Sunday night?

    Thanks for all your help and patience in your responses to each and every comment

    Jagan

    • fd says:
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      @Jagan:

      Chip confirmed yesterday that he would not rest his starters on Sunday night, no matter what happens earlier in the day, even if they have already clinched the division at that point.

      fd

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Hey thanks Jagan, I’m glad we could help.

      I don’t know about Rodgers at this point. I’d probably lean Cousins.

      Agree with Cram. Foles has been too good to sit in my opinion.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Oops meant ‘what FD said’

  9. Grant says:
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    Here is some good news, I had Tucker riding on my bench and didn’t even realize it until about an hour ago. So no one in our league was able to benefit from him. I start SEA kicker because I like him better.

    In the championship game vs the number 2 team, so it will be 1 vs 2. We split the season series can’t wait. Now if only we played for money, this is just the offseason for our baseball lives.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Haha nice. Rare you actually get the top seeds in the SB together. Good luck!

  10. Kid A says:
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    Oh the fond memories of the mansion and its “powerful whiff of urine” and its “general scent of decay” *

    I’m surprised they let your chauffeur, Jack, into the mansion with you. Gotta be his witty “Naughty” graphic Tee. That guy is ALWAYS a riot:

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/12/30/article-1342643-0C9B3635000005DC-727_468x306.jpg

    I had a buddy that was at a party there a couple of years ago when 200 people came down with some sort of sickness that caused the Health Department to consider closing it down.

    I’d recommend getting checked if you start developing bloody noses, a hacking cough and a pounding headache. I wouldn’t want you to miss my championship in our league.

    *Hugh Hefner

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ha, I’ll make sure they roll me over in my death bed to witness such a historic event. I had all those symptoms. Still do. Probably just alcohol poisoning

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: Should I go with the I went to the mansion story. Dinner and drinks with you and Grey is something that is hard to explain in words.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Are you trying to say we weren’t as good of spank bank material?

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Sky: kinda, only if you guys are watching me with a bunny

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              I don’t know if I would’ve watched. But I probably would’ve peaked between my fingers a few times.

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Sky: “He’s got good form but that face will haunt me forever”

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Vinegar strokes!

  11. Grayson Lewis says:
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    Entering the final week of my league’s head-to-head championship, up by 35. Thank you, Shananahanahan, for benching RG3 and allowing me to– never imagined uttering these words– confidently start Alex Smith).

    I thought Vereen was a must-start and had him over the likes of VJax and Roddy. It was obvious Vereen was the focal point of the defense’s gameplan, but I do have my concerns about the impact of Gronk’s absence going forward. I still have a lot of confidence in Vereen, but do you think VJax– or even Roddy– is a better alternative this week? And even after Alex’s crazy performance, am I crazy to consider Cousins over him? Smith’s 5 TD passes traveled a combined 20 yards; not sure I can count on this again.

    Thank you, as always.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Hey man glad to hear you’re going for the gold. Haven’t had a chance to look that far ahead as I just got back yesterday and week 15 just ended. Hit me up on Thursday for rankings, I’ll have a better idea then

  12. Jagan says:
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    Sky,

    I know rankings are due on Thursday but need some view for waiver wire pickups.

    TE – Should I pick Zach Miller @ Arizona.I have Zach Erst and Gonzo

    DEF – who should I pick St.Louis /Buffalo or San Diego?

    Jagan

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Hey man really behind the 8-ball this week so you’re not getting the best info until rankings are up. I’d stay with your TEs and STL for now

  13. Dave says:
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    Hey sky, made the championship somehow after losing AP and Gronk.

    Need some waiver wire defense help I picked up Cleveland last week (@Jets) but I could swap them for Denver (@HOU), Detroit (vs NYG), SD (vs OAK), or Buffalo (vs MIA) pull the trigger on any of these?

    • Dave says:
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      @Dave: And thanks for your help as always!

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        Word!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Wow congrats! All good matchups. I’ll lean Buffalo for now but check back in for rankings on Thursday

      • Dave says:
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        @Sky: Thanks Dan Bailey and Dez saved me even with Vereen getting like 2 points. Whats with that btw is he going to be bench worthy now? It seemed very easy for the Dolphins to just take him out of the game

        • I think you could start Vereen again. Phin’s took him out, but the white-boys made ‘em pay for it.

          • Dave says:
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            @James Rolfe: Thats true thanks, I guess I’ll see

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Glad to hear you won. It was an adjustment to make up for how he went off the week prior. Dolphins made their WRs stand in since they hadn’t done much as a tandem all year. Looked like New England made good adjustments and made them pay. I don’t think it’s an automatic that Vereen gets shut down like that again.

          • Dave says:
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            @Sky: Yea it just seems like he might be worse without Gronk not better as everyone thought but I don’t know. I have Gio on the bench who plays the Vikings for next week so I guess I’ll just wait for the rankings thursday to decide.

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Gio vs the Vikings borders on must start territory anyway. Again, no rankings yet but he’s a good matchup.

      • KC D has been killing it the past two weeks.

        I’m torn between rolling KC (vs INDY) out again for the SB or going with BUF (vs Miami).

        In my format, the D that makes the most plays scores the most points.
        Points-against is an afterthought.

        Bills are sack-heavy, which provides for a nice floor, but the Chiefs have been sackin’ lately, as well, plus TDs!

        Do the Chiefs have their good linebackers back from injury?

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Because KC is at home and still playing for something and Indy’s offensive line is pretty terrible, I’d roll with them but Buffalo isn’t too far behind. When I start rankings I’ll have a better idea.

  14. Ryan says:
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    Well, thank you for all of your work this season Sky. Got me to the semis, lost to a Charles owner 198 to 135. Dude’s team just absolutely crushed the all time weekly point total in our league. Sadly I would have won the other playoff matchup by an easy 20 points. Oh well. See you next year.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Man, Charles pushed a lot of teams to glory on Sunday. Sorry you had to be on the wrong side of it but thanks for reading/supporting the site on your journey. Go take 3rd and let’s do it all again next year!

  15. joe says:
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    just wanted to say ERTZ, ERTZ, ERTZ! Played him in instead of pita and tamme. Great call and thanks for the help!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Nice! Glad we could help out. And thank you Vikings for being terrible on defense!

  16. Forwhomthejoiquebelltolls says:
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    What a game! My league had the most epic semi-final finish ever. Stafford’s late TD gave this guy the lead who has been crushing everyone this year, then his INT at the very end dropped him down and he ended up losing by 0.7. I think it was the Fantasy Gods intervening because of an extremely lopsided trade that he made early in the season of B. Pierce for Stafford. Kinda weird that his downfall would come in a game where the Ravens beat the Lions… anyway sorry for the pointless comment but I had to share this

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Karma! Gotta love when those things work themselves out the right way.

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @Forwhomthejoiquebelltolls: fantasy gods should just kill the twit that dropped stafford for pierce (this HAD to be during a small Rice injury, but i’m pretty sure nobody ever though it was long term injury); shouldn’t hurt the poor dude who just happened to be standing where the idiot dropped his wallet. Anything else is haterism.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: unless the guy who got stafford literally tricked the pierce guy into somehow thinking rice died or something where is the justice in this? Are you guys literally saying that the guy who got Stafford “deserved” to lose because somebody else was dumb enough to give him a useful QB for a what turned out to be not good handcuff to not good starter. Every one of us would love to be the guy who got Stafford in that situation. Would we all deserve to lose too? Sounds like pure out jealously here.

        • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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          @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: Plus, i’m sure the Pierce owner did worse then lose in the semi’s, so if getting the best end of a deal is cause to have “fate” or some other nebulous b.s. cloud shit all over you, i’d take being one win away from super bowl over missing the playoffs or some other actually ignominious fate. So justice here (i.e. collective jealously named something else) still rewarded the Stafford guy more than the Pierce guy.

  17. brick says:
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    Thanks for the ertz call, rode him to the championship in one league, and through in all my others thanks in no small part to your advice this season!

    BTW, Did you see Tucker’s postgame interview?

    “We kick six field goals and win the game. I’m happy to do it — don’t get me wrong — and my fantasy team is benefiting from it as well. So I’m happy about that. Fantasy owners around the world, I hope you appreciate the points as well. To sum it up in one word: pandemonium.”

    What a legend

    • joe says:
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      @brick: that was hilarious!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Yeah, Ertz was pretty sweet. Had him in a couple of leagues myself. Thank you Vikings for being one of the worst defenses this year!

      If him and Seabass invited me out for beers, I wouldn’t turn them down.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Sky: i saw that too, but i wonder if he had to overdraft himself by going in the third to last or even 11th round. MJD used to always do that too. except for those few years where you couldn’t overdraft MJD since he was top 4.

  18. Frank says:
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    Was down 19 going into last night with Stafford and Bush vs Tron in a BIG league. Got the ‘down’ game I needed from Tron… but lost by 14. Stafford now officially on my fantasy shit-list going forward.

    Thanks for your help this season.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Damn, sorry to hear that. That’s a frustrating way to go out.

  19. Steve Stevenson says:
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    Todman v TEN or Rainey @ STL? Std scoring.

    My opponent is set at QB, RB and WR, and is one ahead of me in waiver position in dynasty league. He’s starting Gates v OAK at TE, CIN v MIN at DST and Hartley @ CAR at K. In trying to block him, which position should I target first? Available plays: TE–Pitta v NE, Clay @ BUF; DST–DET v NYG, STL v TB; K–Dawson v ATL, Bailey @ WAS.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Rankings on Thursday, I haven’t had a chance to look at week 16 yet. For now, Todman. I don’t understand how you’re blocking him or what that means given the context. I guess I’ll take Pitta/STL/Bailey for now.

      • Steve Stevenson says:
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        @Sky: Sorry. There are no FA pickups, only once a week waivers. Since I don’t really need any starters, I’m using my claims on players/positions that might help him. So, for example, if you think he stands the most to gain from upgrading from Hartley to one of those other Ks (as opposed to Gates vs the TE options), I’d put them as my 1 and 2 priorities even though in no oter circumstances would I have a K that high. I’m assuming he’ll make claims at all 3 positions, I’m just trying to keep him from upgrading at least one of them.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Gotcha. Pitta would make sense then. Should do well on Sunday, I think. Kickers are kickers. You can’t gauge who will and won’t go off there. Pick one and pray. Meh on the defenses. If you can’t grab them all, you’re just trying to prevent the inevitable that he picks someone else up.

  20. james says:
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    Hi Sky

    If Im still messaging you then it means im still alive!
    12 ppr

    Me
    Dalton (Rodgers)
    Charles
    Vereen
    Garcon
    Decker
    Graham
    Cincinatti (jets)
    I need TWO flex players between F. Jax, Fitz, Streator, D.Johnson

    HIS TEAM
    Foles
    Murray
    Bell
    Allen
    J.Jones (GB)
    Gates
    R.Rice
    Free Agent

    What would you do here? I have a higher waiver then he does so i get my first choice of player.
    If Rodgers starts then should i play him over Dalton or free agent (Cutler, Cousins)?
    What bout the defense? Cincy, Jets or free agent (Browns, Lions)?
    Who would you play at my two flex? Should I pick up a guy? R.Randle is available on the waiver wire as well as the usual suspects.

    So what do you think? Any suggestions, greatly appreciated and I promise I wont email you again til Sept 2014…unless I win this week and I email you to thank you.
    What chances do you think I have this week?

    Thanks

    • james says:
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      12 team PPR*

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Hey James, matchups matter and I haven’t reviewed rankings since they don’t come out until Thursday. I have extreme reservations of starting a guy who with one tackle could be out for the rest of the game given his shoulder. I think Dalton is at home against one of the worst defenses but can’t remember. Hit me up with some actual matchups about your free agents and I’ll do my best to help you out. The lineup questions would be spitball at this point. Better to check in on Thursday.

  21. Anthony says:
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    @SKY: IN finals in 2 LEagues

    Wilson vs ARI or Cutler @ PHI ( Pick 1 )
    Sproles @ CAR Pierre Thomas @ CAR AP @ CIN ( Pick 2 )

    Steve Smith VS NO Steve Johnson vs MIA Sproles/Thomas/AP @ FLEX ( PICK 1 )

    League 2 ***

    Wilson or Cutler
    Vereen @ BAL or Thomas/Sproles @ CAR ( Pick 1 )
    Kendall Wright @ JAC or Bowe vs IND Hartline @ BUF ( PICK 1 )

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      For now:

      Cutler/AP/PT/Smith

      Cutler/Vereen/Wright

  22. George says:
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    Dang thats cool. Did u meet hugh?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      If only. Just the grounds were rented out. Had some model/actresses roaming around but no bunnies. But it’s hard to be disappointed. I can die saying I’ve been to the mansion. Not many can say it!

  23. Night pandas says:
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    Sky captain my captain…hope I didn’t peak last week…236 pts (65 from Jamaal and 54 from Foles)

    WW claims go through tomorrow morning in my .5 ppr championship. Would you drop D Brown, Ellington and TB def for any or all of TY Hilton, Bryce Brown ( opponent has Shady), Buf Def (vs Mia)

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Nice week! Lets hope not…

      Seem like flat moves except for the Buffalo start. Should at least finish as a top 10 defense.

  24. goodfold2 says:
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    have to drop mccown. already have luck. IND’s whole team is weird, either good enough to have him only throw a few times, or so bad teams are beating them by 30 and he throws the ball 45+ times. next week, rank top 2 or 3.
    luck @KC
    tannehill @BUF (should be very cold)
    fitzgerald @JAX
    cousins vs DAL
    cutler @PHI
    finals so I could throw Luck away to grab 2 of these to protect myself if finals opp wants to improve from his a.smith, if he so thinks one of those others was better than smith.
    don’t know if you are as high on cousins as scott and me. scott went cousins/fitz/cutler
    2. I see you appear to like BUF def over such luminaries as
    NYJ vs CLE
    DET vs NYG
    for this week (finals 14 teamer).
    QB question applies to 2 different leagues.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Rankings come out Thursday so for now Cousins/Cutler/Luck

      2…yes, I like them.

  25. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    best pts over what I would’ve had by following rankings all year. It wasn’t benching V.Davis for Clay, nor Tannehill for Cutler, but JENNINGS over both Floyd and Crabtree was great! BOOM!
    in that league i had 236.5, over 24 more than next highest score all year (84 games),(also have charles/d-jax/CAR), even while playing vereen over bush (-13) cutler over tannehill (-11.15) and clay over VD (-19.3).

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Nice, well done.

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