Here is our second installment of the Razzball Awards. There are more to come. Don’t you worry! I have plenty of bones to pick with the 2010 season, jerk. I mean it thinks it can be all, “hey how’s it going”, like it never screwed me around! You want a fight!? I’ll fight you right here! Okay, okay, I’m cool. The 2010 Season and I had our good times. Those Sunday mornings in bed together, in the early part of the season when we had the world by a string. Oh, those were our salad days.
The Greatest Living Person To Put On A Jock Strap
Jamaal Charles: What can you say about JC Superstar without coming off as a Bieberesque sycophant? Well, nothing, but here I go. He almost broke Jim Brown’s record for yards per carry with 6.38 to 6.4. That’s some buuuull. What makes it worse is the Chiefs were down big in their last game of the season with nothing to play for and he had the record, that is until his very last carry when he got stopped for a one yard loss. JC finished as the third best fantasy back even though he averaged 14 carries a game. Thomas Jones averaged 3.7 yards on the season but had more carries than JC. I’ll say it again in my best Bernie Mac, That’s Some BUUUULL!
Our man still ended up with over 1,400 yards rushing and 468 yards receiving and with Thomas Jones huge fall off toward the end of the season in productivity, averaging 2.8 yards a carry for the last half of the season, we should see an uptick in touches for the superstar. Of course Haley will probably sign Cedric Benson or some other turd to run into the defense for 3 yards a carry, but if somehow he can restrain himself JC should be a top 5 pick next season
Best Three-headed Quarterback
Detroit Lions QBs: Matthew Stafford, Shaun Hill and what’s his name as a team would have been the 7th best fantasy quarterback. This is mostly due to the 633 passing attempts they made which was only behind Indianapolis and New Orleans. Of course they weren’t nearly as productive per attempt, but in fantasy sometimes quantity trumps quality. Well, actually it’s probably more than sometimes, but we’ll save that question for another day. There is little doubt that the Lions will continue to air the ball out next season and if Mr. Stafford can keep from pulling his arm out of the socket, he could be in for a great season.
Worst Fantasy Running Back That Didn’t Lose His Job
Cedric Benson: Ced Ben had a crap load of carries this season, but did little with them. He ended up as the 16th best (worst?) fantasy running back. He had just 5 fewer carries than Arian Foster, but had 500 fewer yards. That’s a big fat chunk of yardage. Yes, the Bengals sucked rhino gonads, but you’ve got to make someone miss some of the time. He could still end up back with the Bengals depending on the interest he generates, and by interest I mean desperation. No matter where he goes I’m not putting much faith in him.
Biggest Razzball Flop
Beanie Wells: What the hells Beanie Wells? I still somehow in the dark recesses of my mind believe in his ability, but he burned me hardcore. He was injured off and on and never could gain the trust of Whisenhunt. He’s just soooo much better than Tim Hightower! If only he could get his shizz together! I think his upside is still too high for people to let him fall a ton in fantasy drafts, especially if the Cardinals grab a QB with at least some potential. I can’t trust him like I did this season, but I won’t give up on him completely.
The Biggest Waiver Wire Disaster Of This Century
Brandon Jackson: Good night Gracie! that was a kick in the proverbial testicles. Ryan Grant, out for the season! High powered offense in need of a feature back. In rides Brandon Jackson on his white steed! Oh wait, that’s a off-white goat, and BJ is holding a nerf sword. If you lost a #1 waiver priority on him you gotta feel great compared to those who wasted a whole year’s waiver cash on his crap ass. Probably teaches us not to go all in on one guy, but of course next time it will be someone who goes off. You can’t win for losing! What the hell does that mean?