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Hey, guess who the only person was that received a lower draft grade (D) than myself (D+)? (And if you know me on the baseball side, I’m all about the +’s.) If you guessed Sky, well then… you sir have the remarkable ability to grasp the notion of duh. And let me tell you something, I did do a horrible job with this draft. Name check brah. Now you know. Not only did I have the frustrating draft position, of what the Spanish call, ‘el feo de numero eleven-ostra’, or something like that. But I also sniped multiple Chargers in rapid-fire mode. Well, sniped might not be the best descriptor, since technically that means someone would have wanted to pick those players after me. I cannot confirm nor deny this. Oh, and yeah. My team ended up drafting a defense in the 6th round. WUT.

I do not make excuses. I will only state that there was a defense drafted in the 6th round, by the Seauicidal Tendencies, which is the team attached to my Yahoo login. Furthermore, I cannot and will not use any possessive language when referencing said action. Anyhow, that happened. I will point out that the ADP for Seattle’s defense is at the end of the sixth round, so yeah… there is that I guess. Regardless, even with all that shooting myself in the foot, and then, I dunno, in the kneecap, and I guess in the thigh too, there is one question I have to ask– Sky, my bro, what’s your excuse? Did you draft Aaron Hernandez AND Jeremy Maclin?

Here’s my team, aka Derpfest 2013.

 

So, let’s start off with the fact that I didn’t want to draft Alfred Morris (11)  nor Dez Bryant (14) as my first two picks. Actually, I didn’t want to draft anyone on my team really, unless there was a lightning bolt on your uniform. But for rationalization’s sake, let’s just stick with the previous premise. Morris and Bryant were simply the best RB/WR combo left at my draft position that I was most comfortable with. There was no way I was going to touch CJ2ypc, nor was I going to draft Matt Forte (13). The fact that I drafted Michael Bush (110) aptly describes my feelings on that tandem.

I thought about Eddie Lacy (37) at the end of Round 3, but the Packers offense last year reminded me of dating a bi-polar emo chick. Sure, that could mostly be Jermichael Finley’s fault, but I wanted to see what David Wilson (35) could do for me. Now, I don’t love him like Nick (the Podcast Host) does, but I wanted to fill my RB spots (sans the flex) right then and there with an upside play. My next pick, at 4.2, was Cam Newton. I’m pretty sure he’s Carolina’s only legitimate redzone running option, and I’m a big believer in the skill-set, but there’s risk here, no doubt.

On a quick note, I found it hilarious that Ryan Matthews was drafted at 4.11. Bro, no one homers like I do, and I wasn’t even going to think about him until Round 5 or 6… maybe. He’s had a great preseason, no doubt, but he still fumbles inside the five yard line at a pace where someone should actually double-check and make sure that he doesn’t think that’s what is supposed to happen. He’s still primarily a two-down back that doesn’t catch as much as you want in a PPR. And really, with the last three seasons, you’re gonna draft him around the same spot he was supposed to go last year? When he was also a sleeper? And then promptly had more collarbones broken than TD’s? Let’s just say I’m going to call Murph ballsy on this one. But hey, that’s coming from a team that allegedly drafted a defense on the next turn. So whatevs.

Then homerism, as I’ve already stamped all over this post, happened. I can’t help it. I wanted Vincent Brown (83), who is a legitimate sleeper candidate. If you don’t believe that, you just not knowin’ son. He is primed for a big year. There’s Antonio Gates (86), who has lost a step, but will be a constant “Oh my god, OL… da fuq? Here, quick, take the ball” target for Philip Rivers (134). I would have liked to get Danny Woodhead, but selected at 103, I’d rather have Benard Pierce (107), who I think is primed to take carries away from Ray Rice, and be an effective fantasy back.

My strategy for drafting the bench was half sentiment, half injury-plays, and wholey augmented by copious amounts of bourbon. As mentioned above, I think Bush will vulture carries and touchdowns from Forte. I think Steven Jackson will be ineffective this year due to age and/or eventual injury, so I’m liking me some Jacquizz Rodgers (131). I also like Jaquizzing, but that’s another matter. Or is it? Mohamed Sanu (155) and Brandon LaFell (158) are meh to me, but hey, something could happen there. Blair Walsh (179), because, well, he kick’s it far. Pointed analysis, I know. And then, last but not least, actually, last and least, Tyler Eifert (182), because who knows. Gates is old I guess? The last four picks were uninspired (don’t you dare include my Rivers pick there, I’ll cut you), but I was already pretty drunk and wanted to hurry it up so I could watch the latest Breaking Bad I DVR’d.

You don’t care for my team?

Come at me bro!

So that sums up my draft. A bunch of eh, meh, Chargers, Jaquizzing, and post hoc drunk Breaking Bad. So really, not a bad night at all.

Jaywrong is a 30-year old Korish writer who finds solace using Makers Mark as a vehicle to impress women, and also has an affinity for making Jennifer Lawrence GIFs. You can follow him @jaywrong, read his blog Desultory Thoughts of a Longfellow, or, you can find his GIFs at his tumblr, named Siuijeonseo.

33 Responses

  1. jjj says:
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    is it too early to take gronk with 1st pick of 3rd round….I would have AP and probably a WR like fitzgerald or johnson… 12 team PPR league (1QB, 2RB, 3 WR, TE, D, K)

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @jjj: yeah, if you want him, its fine. Large gap till your next pick.

  2. emc squared says:
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    Thoughts on the team I just drafted? Yahoo! gave me a D. Picked #6 in a 12-team .5 PPR league (3 flex spots). Round drafted in ().

    QB Brady (4)
    WR Cobb (3)
    WR Decker (5)
    RB Charles (1)
    RB S Jax (2)
    TE Gresham (12)
    WR/TE Stevie Johnson (6)
    WR/RB Chris Ivory (7)
    WR/RB T.Y. Hilton (8)
    Bench: Le’Veon Bell (9), Hartline (10), Bernard Pierce (11), Kendall Wright (13), Edelman (14), Andre Brown (15), Quinton Patton (16)

    Obviously I need to drop two for a K and DEF. We have two IR spots but I’m not sure if I can use them for injured players (or do they have to be out for the year? If so, what’s the point in a redraft league?)

    Anyhow, do I deserve my D grade?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @emc squared: not sure about the IR thing, but i like your team. There’s something to be said for balance here.

  3. mcBlunty says:
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    2nd flex spot full ppr r/w/t option

    Michael Floyd
    Monte Ball
    Vincent Brown
    Kyle Rudolph

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @mcBlunty: Going Vincent Brown.

  4. Shake N Bacon says:
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    I liked your David Wilson in the 3rd round pick. He could be this year’s “Dougie Fresh”. He’s got the talent.

    Your WR depth looks a little scary. Nothing a few waiver wire pickups can’t help as the season gets going and WR’s come out of no where to shine. What WR’s and/or RB’s did you pass up on in the 6th round when you grabbed Seattle’s defense?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Shake N Bacon: A bunch of good ones. Steve Smith would have been nice. I don’t like Garcon, but he was there. Mike Wallace, though, not high on him this year.

      And let’s be clear. ‘I’ didn’t draft a defense in the 6th round. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  5. RG3 Needs a Knee says:
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    JayWrong,
    Was hoping I could get a draft review. We are a 10 team PPR keeper, start 1QB/3WR/2RB/1Flex/1TE/1DST/1Kicker…..first 5 picks were keepers in no order.

    1. (7) Roddy White  (Atl – WR)
    2. (14) Andre Johnson  (Hou – WR)
    3. (27) Darren McFadden  (Oak – RB)
    4. (34) Robert Griffin III  (Was – QB)
    5. (47) Ahmad Bradshaw  (Ind – RB)
    6. (54) Chris Ivory (NYJ – RB)
    7. (67) Stevie Johnson (Buf – WR)
    8. (74) Cecil Shorts (Jac – WR)
    9. (87) Tavon Austin (StL – WR)
    10. (94) Jared Cook (StL – TE)
    11. (107) Fred Jackson (Buf – RB)
    12. (114) Ben Roethlisberger (Pit – QB)
    13. (127) Kenny Britt (Ten – WR)
    14. (134) Baltimore (Bal – DEF)
    15. (147) Sidney Rice (Sea – WR)
    16. (154) Danny Woodhead (SD – RB)
    17. (167) Justin Tucker

    Thanks in advance

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @RG3 Needs a Knee: I don’t like White, Johnson, Cook, and Bradshaw. Not crazy about Ivory. On a whole though, everything looks fine. I like the balance, and you’ve got plenty of handcuffs/depth. Love Woodhead in a PPR.

      • RG3 Needs a Knee says:
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        @jaywrong:
        Thanks for your honesty. The top 5 were really the best of what I had last year and would have been snagged top 50 being that the top 21/22 RB and receivers were kept respectively. Most of my keepers were ranked 30-45 overall naturally due to age but what can you do?

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @RG3 Needs a Knee: Oh yeah, totally. I don’t think its a bad team by any stretch. I’m a fan of balance, I know that’s a reoccurring theme. But there are so many injuries / depth issues in the NFL, sends ripples into the fantasy world.

  6. jake says:
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    .5 ppr

    Vincent Jackson or Dwayne Bowe:

    &

    Sproles vs Lamar Miller

    thanks…

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @jake: Bowe/Sproles.

  7. Eric says:
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    Would you rather have Dalton or Freeman as your QB2 in a 2 QB league (10 teams)?

    Thanks

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Eric: Freeman, a bit more upside.

  8. Brooks Jacoby says:
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    Razzball grade my team: (QB, RB,RB,WR,WR,FLEX,TE,DEF half point PPR league)

    QB – Cam Newton
    WR – Randall Cobb,
    Vincent Jackson,
    bench: Josh Gordon, Kenny Britt, Kendall Wright

    RB – Arian Foster

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Brooks Jacoby: I give it a B. I like Newton, Cobb and Jackson. Not huge on Foster this year.

  9. Brooks Jacoby says:
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    Razzball grade my team: (QB, RB,RB,WR,WR,FLEX,TE,DEF half point PPR league)

    QB – Cam Newton
    WR – Randall Cobb,
    WR- Vincent Jackson,
    bench: Josh Gordon, Kenny Britt, Kendall Wright
    RB – Arian Foster
    RB – Lamar Miller
    RB – Ahman Bradshaw (or Ivory)
    bench: Ivory, Levon Bell, Franklin, Moreno
    TE- Jordan Cameron
    DEF – Bears

  10. Jeff P says:
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    Just had a 10 team regular Yahoo draft (joined by accident instead of auction). Somehow ended up with Green Bay Central (no Rodgers though). Week 1 is a problem: at San Francisco.

    Do I start
    1. Jordy Nelson or Torrey Smith @Denver
    2. Eddie Lacy or Ryan Mathews vs Houston
    3. Jermichael Finley or Kyle Rudolf @Detroit

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Jeff P: I like Smith, Matthews, and Finley.

  11. ty says:
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    I got a couple bolts myself. Hopefully with a new coaching staff they can turn it around. I’m pretty sure I would have received a D myself in my draft. I waited way to late for a QB but im stocked at WR. How do you think I did and who would you start in my RB2 and Flx slots. 14 team H2H 1pt PPR. I didnt draft any backups for QB, D, or TE. I’l just stream

    Stafford
    C. Johnson
    D. Bowe
    S. Jax
    R. Mathews
    G. Bernard
    Gates
    Forbath
    RAMS D

    J. Bell
    B. Powell
    J. Gordon
    K. Britt
    T. Austin
    M. Sanu

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @ty: I like your team. I love Austin and Gordon as plug-ins. Not a huge fan of Johnson or Jackson, but the PPR should have you covered on your WR’s. I like the lineup you have right now. If you tune into the pod tomorrow, you’ll here my take on Powell. I’m a fan.

      • Ty says:
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        @jaywrong: Thanks man.. I can climb off the ledge now.. Ha.. Funny thing about Powell. I actually picked him of waivers because I dropped A. Brown. We did our draft in a bar so we could watch games. I shit you not, Seconds after I drafted brown I looked up and he was getting carted off the field. My draft mates thought that was pretty funny.

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @Ty: Ugh, terrible timing. Yeah, your team is fine the way I see it.

  12. frankgrimes says:
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    astute observation on SJax. he is being over drafted everywhere.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @frankgrimes: makes up for some of my other sins.

  13. Ty says:
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    Great podcast dude…. You from SD?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Ty: Thanks! Grew up there, left after high school. Valhalla, class of 2001.

      • Ty says:
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        @jaywrong: Nice… I’m from LA. Do a lot of surfing down in SD. You guys are pretty jazzed about C. Michael. Would you drop J. Bell or B. Powell for him?

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @Ty: nice. Probably Bell. I think Bilal will actually end up being the primary back.

          • Ty says:
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            @jaywrong:
            Sweet Thanx

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