Greetings all! Tis I, Tehol Beddict, writers league defending champion, international male model and fantasy guru. I come to you today to speak of what will be an eventual champion fantasy football roster. Thus far I’ve never guaranteed a title and didn’t end up victorious. This year will be no different. I’m still not clear if this is a ppr league or not but based on my roster it’s truly not going to matter either way. Take heed.
So I, the legend that is Mr. Beddict, came up with 3rd pick in the draft this year. I would have preferred to be around the 7-10 range but it’s hard to complain when you’re a champion and have women twerking on you daily like they were Miley Cyrus. I drafted Spiller, who if healthy will have a record challenging overall season. If this is truly a ppr league(CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CLARIFY) then I’m even more enthusiatic about the pick. Of course Spiller is prone to injuries now and again and if he goes down your boy Beddict is going to be in trouble. But hey, I lost McCoy for most of last season and still got the mission accomplished like my man Tom Cruise.
The running backs were going quicker than angel dust at Aaron Hernandez’s crib so I was forced to choose between Ryan Matthews and Daryl Richardson in the freaking FOURTH round! All this talk of Woodhead claiming all the 3rd down plays had me shook. Of course Matthews came out and looked great in the last Chargers preseason game and made me instantly regret my decision. On the other hand, Richardson could be great in ppr league, as he has explosive ability and will end up cradling more balls than Jenna Jameson at an orgy at the Dallas Cowboys “Whitehouse.” Yes, I’ve been told it still exists.
I needed at least one of the big dog receivers and Calvin, Dez and A.J. Green were gone, so I snagged the legend that is Julio Jones in the second. Julio has been blessed by the Elder Gods with massive size and explosive capibilities and I for one am expecting a monsterous season out of him. I added another wideout with Randall Cobb, maybe reaching a bit on him in the third, but the upside makes me harder than a slab of concrete in the dead of winter. Expect him to go HAM this year and I’m not speaking of sandwiches. T.Y. Hilton, Josh Gordon and undrafted rookie Kenbrell Thompkins fill out my WR spots. Thompkins could have major value in ppr and the other two are both scoring 8 TD’s minimum out of my flex spot.
Is this the year Vernon Davis finally repeats his incredible season from a few years back? I’ll say he gets close anyway, and with the niners missing Crabtree and Manningham and I can’t for the life of me, envision Kappy not force feeding this physcial freak the rock. Just to be sure I grabbed Jared Cook in round 11, which is going to look like an absolute steal. Multiple football analysts have spoken of how great Cook looks and I witnessed him going off in the Rams last preseason game.
Kaepernick and both share a love for exotic women, rad tatoos and our hot bodies so it was only right I draft him in the 5th round. He did fill in nicely for me last season and I told anyone that would listen how nasty this man truly was. He is an unstoppable weapon of mass destruction and I fully plan on unleashing him on the oppositon.
Some side notes on the draft here: Sky truly believes in Ahmad Bradshaw……………..I can’t display my true feelings without the risk of being fired but let’s just say I’m not a fan. Tom Brady was a steal as he dropped to the end of the 5th round which was insane.
I was given a B-plus grade by yahoo and I thought to be pretty accurate. I didn’t dominate the draft, but it’s hard to do when competing with so many visionaries, excluding Capozzi of course. After winning the football title last season and absoutely crushing the baseball writers league as we speak, I just don’t know how long my superiority can continue. Who am I kidding? Superior is my middle name and the league is mine. Goodnight Irene.