Another big week of RCL action wrapped up in week 6, and again I get to go nuts for my 6-0 Writer’s League team! Sorry JayWrong, but this week went just like your R.A. Dickey defense when I told Nick to sell, sell, sell. Jay had like, a million Chargers going, and similar to his optimism for Dickey’s second half, he had to watch his hopes and dreams prove JayWrong’s name sake. Hey, at least the Chargers and Panthers won this week! Beers all around! Be sure to check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.
TOP SCORER: Congratulations to team Poon Jab from the Razzball Rebels league, who topped the 200-point plus benchmark and the only team to score over 200 this week. Poon got to 200.34 led by Larry Fitzgerald, Jamaal Charles, Knowshon Moreno, Reggie Bush, and the KC D to vault him (or her, I guess) to a 200-point week and a beat down of It’s like a circle. Team Jab also moves to 5-1 and leads the Rebels in overall scoring for the most fearless Rebel in the league. Poon has a great shot to move to 6-1 as they face the 1-5 Blountville Bums, who’s picture of a sad puppy dog I think encapsulates their mood heading into that matchup. Great work again Poon and keep up the high scoring for your run at the RCL gold!
Razzball Writers League - Eat it, Razzball Writers! I’ve been periodically streaking around the office and assaulting all the other writers’ cubes with more gusto than “that guy” at your office. It’s been awesome. I even egged Sky’s office, since well, he’s the lead anchor yet letting me run away with a perfect season (and is the only one with an actual office). I’m trying to make everyone feel as ashamed and annoyed as I am with my bench calls in LSD this week. I did worse than Gtoxitis in a “your mama” freestyle battle. Anyway, it was another big win and I top the league in the standings while Kevin Kumpf’s What No IDPs? led us in scoring. I’ll be up against Murph’s Team in week 7 to try and keep the dream season alive.
JB’s Random Commenter League - As I took another step towards perfection in the Writer’s League, The Green Bastards took a step toward mediocrity with a disappointing close loss to move to 5-1. Freaks and Geeks outscored us all this week, with one of those ridiculously tough-luck losses for Aaron’s Murder Boner who put up the second most points in the league only to lose. Man those are tough. Yours truly moved to 4-2 with the third most points this week and moves into third place. This team is still alive! Keep it up Cam!
Take On Jaywrong 2 - Big week from Mr Fantasy Football, who lived up to his name in week 6 with 173.74 points led by Brandon Marshall and Vernon Davis to knock off the previously undefeated Fish’s Official Team. With Fish and Release the KRAKEN both failing to top 100 this week (although KRAKEN did eke out a win), the Pipe Hittin’ [African-Americans] vaults from third to first leading the league in points.
Monday Morning QB’s - By a measly 0.42 points, Makka Pakka, last week’s top scoring RCL team, topped the Monday Morning league again with 146.90 points. Back-to-back big weeks from Justin Blackmon kept the Pakka scoring big, while the kitchen stinks, despite scoring the third lowest this week, had a fortunate matchup to go to 5-1 and stay atop the league standings.
Rancho Rajneesh - Huge week from RCL juggernaut ReadOptionForDummies who is an early favorite to take home the RCL crown. Another W and 185.70 points was headlined by the big games from Vernon Davis and Jamaal Charles. Imagine what would’ve been had Peyton had his normal week…
Murphatron’s RCL - Those Cuddly Penguins make it into the RCL recap yet again (I feel like I write about you every week!) by leading the league with 157.50 points. Despite the 3-3 record, those adorable penguins have a ridiculous 953 total points. Sometimes fantasy football is just plain cruel! With the core of Brandon Marshall, Peyton, and Jamaal Charles, Cuddly should have a good shot to win the league, but 3 losses will be tough to overcome to be crowned RCL champion. Still rooting for you though!
The Shituation Room - One of my absolute favorite team names, the Dothraki Apocalypse took home top honors this week, by scoring 172.44 points and almost winning by a 100-burger. VJax, BMarsh, and KDef (man that sounds like a cool rap trio) led the Dothrakis to domination all the way to Qarth. The Apocalypse moves to 3-3 while Pops’s Team nabbed another victory and remains the patriarch of the league at 5-1.
Hernandez Hit Men - Another great team name in the Golden Tate Warriors took home the gold this week, with hot-curry games from Blackmon and BMarsh. The Tates move to 3-3 while team Caballo took home another W to move to 5-1 and sit atop the league.
Pabst & Razz - After a tough beat down by over 100 last week, Dez-ed and Confused bounced back to lead the league in scoring with big games from VJax and Keenan Allen. Despite the win and points, Dez still is looking at 12th place with a steep hill to climb. Four teams now are locked in a 4-2 logjam, with Gravity Well sliding into first with a win over Team Pope.
A League of RCL Thrones - Smokin’ a Blount rolled up a nice fatty this week, leading the league in scoring with 161.68 led by the big week 6s from Cam, JBlack and Skittles. But it’s not like Blount needed the help, his opponent Hurricane Ditka had the worst RCL week possibly ever. By not checking their team – two guys on byes and Vick was out, Ditka only put up 37 points even. Wow. For shame. And what’s nuts is over two-thirds of that came on Thursday from Martellus Bennett and Robbie Gould. For shame Ditka. CreanNCrimson’s Team moves into first place to 5-1 and will hope to move to 6-1 against South Bend Shuffle.
In-A-Gadda-Da-Wheeden - Shocking to see this this late in the season, but another winless team has topped their league in scoring for their first win, with the Dead Heads putting up 148.78 led by VJax and Flacco. Despite the win, the Heads are still in last at 1-5, with King Daddy Crunch sliding into first at 5-1 after knocking off the Tingly Preppies.
RCLBBWSVU - Seriously, Anal Chiropractor? I think your team avatar should bring you more shame than Ditka in A League of RCL Thrones. Ugh, well you scored the most points, and I inevitably see that picture when I check your league. I don’t even want to look at your players so the picture won’t get bigger! Despite anal having the most points overall at 922, The Defenstrators stay atop the league at 5-1 to Anal’s 4-2 – putting Anal appropriately at number two. And wouldn’t you know it – they square off in week 7 in a big #1 vs. #2 throwdown. Go Defenstrators! Defend me from having to ever click on Anal’s team!
My Wife Frowns Upon This - By just over a point, Big D gets top honors this week with 152.58 points and stays atop the league as well moving to 5-1. With big weeks from Lynch and Moreno, D moves into first after One I’d Willy suffered their first loss of the season and drops from the ranks of the RCL undefeated. In another one of the RCL’s best games in week 7, the 5-1 Willies will face off against the 5-1 Sex Panther by Odeon. 50% of the time I think Sex Panther wins this matchup every time.
Cracklin’ Brats RCL - Another big week from Planet 10 as they move to 5-1 and remain in first over the Brats, but the biggest week went to Go Pack with 157.30 points. Led by VJax, Keenan Allen and Arian Foster, Go Pack moves into 5th at 4-2 and can keep climbing up the standings going against the 3rd place OVER THE HILL who is also 4-2.
Bobby Boucher’s Water Bottle - One of the biggest games this week, the Cowtown Russellers showed up yet again with 194.78 points, second highest this week, and an RCL-elite 100 point victory. With big weeks from Charles, KC D, Knowshon and Marshall, Marshall, Marshall(!), Cowtown stays undefeated and pushing towards the RCL crown. Despite having more points, Dougie Fresh’s Team got another win to move to 5-1, and another great job by the RCL scheduling committee as the two face off in week 7 in what will be the RCL game of the week.
The Podcast Kingdom - Second straight week atop the Kingdom, and second straight week I’m bleeping Hold Mah Expletive! Mostly because I just plain don’t want to do what the name says. But despite the league’s best efforts, Hold had thrusted their way to 5-1 and atop the standings with a big week from Knowshon, and fittingly, Bush. Creative Chaos will look to knock down team Hold in week 7.
Nick’s Bad JB Impersonation - J-FOH! So good to see you doing well! Also winning in my JB’s Commenter League, Jack got the most points in his league with 160.48 points led by the KKK – Keenan, Knowshon and KC D. I maybe could’ve not abbreviated that… Jack moves to 4-2 and 4th place, and despite Jack beating up on Straight Cash Homey and moving Straight Cash to 4-2, homey still winning the league! Homey don’t play dat!
Any Given Sunday - On any given Sunday, anyone could lead this league in scoring as no one topped 130 and six teams scored in the 120s. The best outing was from Jedi Mind Tricks who moves to 5-1 and atop the league after knocking down the inferior Big D compared to the My Wife league. Jedi Mind Tricks will have to have better mind control than Joe Namath did to beat Sexy Suzy Kolber II, who at 5-1 is in third place in another big-time RCL matchup with RCL-contender implications. Should be a great battle of will. ”I wannnnnaaaa kissss you…. I couldn’t care less about the team str-uggl-ling!”
Booty Hunters Unlimited - The Dez Dispenser dispensed a huge fantasy week in the Booty league, filling the presciprtion with 181.48 points and getting a huge 100+ point victory. Led by Cam, VJax and Lynch all putting up 30 spots each, Dez moves to 3-3 and 7th place. But if you’re not first, you’re last, or so would Suck for Luck have you thinking as they move to 5-1 and atop the Booty.
Take On Jaywrong - In a fairly spread week of scoring, the Redeye Raiders topped the scoring with 146.84 points led by Blackmon and BMarsh moving to 3-3. In one of the most anticipated matchups last week, poor JayWrong’s Hand Schaub suffered another loss and lost his unbeaten season to Dread Pirate Roberts, who leap frogs Jay to second place as they both go to 5-1. But the headline really is Yeshcheese moving to 6-0 and one of the few unbeatens left. But in another great matchup for week 7, Yeshcheese will have to bring all they’ve got as they’ll be facing an angry JayWrong team in a great 1 vs. 3.
The Razzbro League - Girl Toy’s Team led the bro’s this week, getting 153.32 led by Stafford and Jamaal Charles. Awesome picture by the way, Girl Toy. Anal Chiropractor – take note of what makes a good team picture. Toy moves to 3-3, while Scotch Fueled Guru won again to go to 4-2 and top the league.
Razzball Experts League - Those ridiculous Rushmore Beekeepers continue to be a sting in my side (the saying might be thorn in my side, but whatever) as they move to 6-0 (despite only 113 points this week) and still ahead of me on the RCL leader board. Where’s the smoke gun?! Kilroy @FFkilroy76 scored the most this week with 174.18 points, and Chad Scott – DLF also stays unbeaten with another win. Sky, start beating these guys!
The Shadynastys - Big week from Team Long, who stretched their point total to 154.86 led by the huge outburst from Justin Blackmon. Long moves to average at 3-3, while, OK, I guess I’ll actually type it this time since I mention you above, Gtoxitis moves to 6-0 to top the league. I mean, you played an 0-5 team and barely snuck it out. This week you’ve got the 1-5 Murder Castle on the slate so it’s looking like you’ll stay undefeated, but let’s go Castle! We can do this! Pretend I’m Stana Katic and my sexual energy will help you solve the Gtoxitis case!
One More RCL - Jay Feeley is my QB gets another top spot mention with 158.40 points and moves to 3-3 on the year. Maybe you shouldn’t be playing Feeley as your QB so much! Just kidding, good thing you have Peyton. Kobayashi Maru had another nice week as well, and it moves them to 5-1 and atop the league.
Shoot your RCL smack talk below and thanks again for joining the RCL Football Leagues this year. And if the thought of RCL ending in only a few short months bums you out, head over to RCL Basketball to keep your fix going until Summer 2014. Good luck in week 7!