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It started off so well.  On two straight plays, Stevan Ridley ripped the Bills defense for a couple of nice runs.  First one up the middle.  Eleven yards.  Next one off right tackle.  Five yards.  This last carry took him to 52 yards on the day on just 8 carries.  Things were looking good, the Pats were driving and that sweet end zone love was surely gonna go into Stevan’s hands.  Only he came up empty.  Wait, let me restate that.  He came up BIG empty, fumbling the ball on the very next play for a Bills defensive touchdown.  Like what we all hope will happen to Miley Cyrus after the VMAs, Ridley wasn’t to be seen nor heard from again for the rest of the game.  That’s how Belichick rolls.  Y’all got Hoodie Winked!  Ridley had 4 fumbles last year, only losing 2 but the one thing that Bill won’t tolerate is fumbles from his RBs.  Now I don’t think Ridley’s lost his starting job.  Not by a long shot.  But I do think he’s opened that door wider then Miley Cyrus…ok, enough about Hannah Montana analogies.  I don’t see Ridley losing his job any time soon.  That said, for other reasons, we may see a reduced workload moving forward.  Remember when I ranked him 20th among RBs and you were all like ‘nuh-uh’ and I was like ‘uh-huh?’.  This would be a good reason why.  I don’t trust Bill to trust any player week to week unless he has a beautiful butt-chin.  In other 2013 Fantasy Football news from week 1…

Reggie Bush – When I heard LeShoure was out for the week, I wiggled Bush up to 11 in standard and 7 in PPR and Joique Bell up to…well, I can’t remember where but it was into flex-worthy territory.  I’m thankful both Reggie (21/90 and 4/101/1) and Bell (6/25/2 and 5/67) made me look smart for doing so.  When Broyles returns, we can expect a few of those tosses going to him but for now, they’re shooting BBs from Lions backfield.

Danny Amendola – The guy pulled a Willis Reed…hrm, you’re all probably too young to get that reference.  Fine, he pulled a Paul Pierce.  Left in the 2nd with a ‘questionable’ tag due to his groin.  Well he must’ve rubbed it out – ew! – because he finished the game with 10 catches for 104 yards.  Wes who?

Adrian Peterson – First carry of the game goes for 78 and a TD.  WOO-HOO!  Next 15 go for only 17.  OHHHH…but he did still score 2 more TDs later.  WOO-HOO!  But his QB is still Christian Ponder.  OHHHHH…

Calvin Johnson – Had not one but TWO TDs returned for various reasons on great catches.  Ended the day with only 37 yards on 4 catches.  Meanwhile, somehow Jerome Simpson goes off for 140 on 7 receptions.  There are times that the world is not fair.  There are other times when the World should be thrown into the Sun for its insolence.  This is one of those latter days.

Julian Edelman – I will say this: continuity is important.  For a guy who was supposed to be on the 53 man roster bubble, I’d say 7 for 79 and 2 TDs isn’t bad when everyone thought he’d be on the practice squad.  I won’t know what to make of this until Gronk is back but until then, he gets the Jets next and that gets a yuck sticker from me.

Shane Vereen – I promise I’ll talk about other teams more later but lets cover why it was so easy to keep Ridley on the sidelines.  Hint, it wasn’t Blount.  Shane went off, gaining 101 on 14 carries and added the PPR beautiful 58 on 7 receptions.  When I wrote about Ridley being ranked so low in my Top 20 Running Backs post, I stated ‘Given the two tiers above him, there’s either more stability or more sexy and I don’t think he provides either this season due to how New England might utilize Vereen.’  Mmm-hmmm…

Zach Sudfeld – Well he had a target so there’s that…ugh.  He put up a goose egg.  No wait, he put up an Alien egg for his owners, releasing a face-hugger and implanting them with that sick feeling of not taking Julius Thomas as their upside TE late…

C.J. Spiller – Had a fumble and split carries with FJax 17 to 13…ruh-roh.  The game stayed close and it was clear the Pats weren’t going to let Spiller do anything today.  I’m not in freakout mode yet.  That only happens after my Seahawks lose or when I decide its Nic Cage night in Sky’s house.  NOT THE BEES!

Giovani Bernard – I’m simply highlighting that the numbers won’t say it, but Gio had a good day.  Had about 20 to 25 yards on a couple of touches taken back due to penalty.  Those worrying about BJGE for GL/short yardage…well, I don’t think that goes away but a little buy low after a quiet Sunday from Gio-B would be advised.

Roddy White – Played with an ankle sprain which would explain the bad numbers but someone else also said he was possibly high…not cool Roddy Roddy Piper!  Oh, they said he had a possible high ankle sprain.  Maybe I should lay off the herb myself on Sundays…Roddy’s a gamer but if this is a lingering issue, you’re gonna have to find someone else to play WR1 for you…sorry, already checked your FA pool, you’re screwed.  Hopefully he rests and is ready next week.

Jordan Cameron – Well, we can’t all be Dudfelds around here.  Went for 9/108/1 saving Weeden’s horrible day from being downright tragic.  I reserve judgement on this Browns offense until Gordon’s back in the fold.  Still think there’s gold here for those looking for it and that doesn’t just apply to Air Cameron.

Andrew Luck – Yeah, he’s good.  Wish the numbers were even better given the opponent but it’s hard to turn down a three touchdown (2 air, 1 ground) day.  A lot of people are expecting a leap forward this year but for his draft price and what you got today, you’ll take it, Oliver Twist, and not ask for more.

Jamaal Charles – Not the big day I had him down for but the game was decided by halftime and JC barely played in the second half.  I’ll take 99 and a TD from that; always hard to predict just how bad Blaine is gonna be.  Today he was Superbad as he full on period’ed all over the Jags blue jeans.  Deep 2QB leagues take note: that’s not an anime tentacle creeping up your school girl dress, it’s Henne.  I streamed KC’s defense in multiple leagues where I couldn’t get the Colts but even I’m not crazy enough to stream the Raiders against them.

Ryan Tannehill – Hrm…I’m not jumping out of my seat about this one but I’m not writing it off as a bad call yet either.  I liked Tannehill coming into the season for his scrambling abilities and an improved surrounding at the skill positions.  Wallace had 15 yards receiving and Ryan only had 3 yards rushing…hrm…that’s really all I can say right now.

AJ Green – Dalton is lucky to have this guy.  We’ve come to expect these types of numbers from AJ in the past – 9 for 162 and 2 touchdowns – but against the Bears?  This isn’t ridiculous.  It’s not even ridic.  It’s the chronicles of ridic.  He’s a challenger to Megatron’s top honors for sure.  The defenses don’t get any easier next week against the Steelers but c’mon, you’re never sitting this guy.

Terrelle Pryor – If you watched this game with your eyes closed, you’d think Pryor was a great QB.  For those rushing out to get Terrelle this week, keep a few things in mind.  One, the Colts defense was pretty dinged up heading into this game.  Two, the Colts defense wasn’t all that good to begin with.  You’ve been warned.  If I own him, I’m trying to sell him after next week against the Jags or heading into it if the price is right.  The box score says he’s Kaep, the eye test says he’s Tim Tebow.

Lamar Miller – Ten carries for 3 yards.  No, that’s not a typo.  Oh and Daniel Thomas got the goal line TD.  You know, just in case you weren’t sure if you should stick your head in the oven.  Though I’m a little worried, admittedly, the team as a whole only rushed for 20 yards total on 23 carries so at least Miller’s in good bad company.  You’re not selling him for much of anything now so don’t ask.  Just wait and see how he does against the Colts and then make a decision.

Steven Jackson – Not bad, not bad.  Had 11 for 77 on the ground and 5 for 45 through the air.  Admittedly, I wanted more then this and almost got it if he’d caught that 6th pass in the end zone at the end of the game.  The fact that he got a chance for a 6th catch makes me kinda giddy, though.  Might still get a shot at a 40 catch season, though I won’t bank on it.  He gets a tough assignment next week on many levels when he faces his former team but today’s game solidifies in my mind that I can trust him rolling forward.  SJax ain’t old yet, people!  Though I concede Frank Gore might be…

Bilal Powell – Split carries this week with Ivory with the team stating they’re ‘…to try to get them through this game as fresh as possible…because we have a Thursday night game’.  Um, ok.  They both looked terrible against a very tough run defense.  Probably because they couldn’t gain any rhythm.  And that’s why Rex Ryan is a defensive coaching genius.  Wait, what?  Next week is a Pats defense that should give them a shot to show who/what these two are as runners.  I still have faith in Ivory and think you should too.

Brian Hartline – Went for 114 yards on 9 receptions and a touchdown.  Hrm, just for S’s & G’s, I went to look and see what I had to say about him in my Top 40 Wide Receivers.  To quote, ‘Remember when I said I could find you a cheaper Wes Welker replacement?  You don’t?  What’s wrong with you, I’m only two spots away from talking about Wes at 31!  Brian will be more Welker-y than Wes will be this year, cross my Hartline and hope to die.’  And you thought all you got was WR bench depth…

Russell Wilson – Passed for 320 and a TD and…not much else.  The Seahawks offense looked pretty messy to me.  That’s either a compliment to JB’s Panthers or a detriment to my ‘hawks Superbowl aspirations.  Though it’s hard to give JB’s team any credit, I think I’m gonna have to here.  They get the Bills next and just might be stream-worthy.

Vernon Davis – VD with the TD!  Yeah, you’ve heard that a few times already.  Well get ready to hear it a lot more.  The connection between Kaep and Davis is looking good (6/98/2) though the 49ers in general looked good when Kaep was throwing and moving the pocket against the Packers.  I’ll be excited to see how this all pans out.  Well, except for the fact the only 49ers I own this year are Patton and/or Gore…FML…

Emmanuel Sanders – I’m pulling the one player that I think is noteworthy from this game (57 yards on 7 receptions) to just point out how Gawdawful these two teams looked…ok, ok, Tennessee’s discipline and commitment to the run was admirable but really…woof.  With Pouncey out for the year, this Pittsburgh team is looking more and more like just the Pitts.  They’re on Monday Night Football next week against the Bengals so you get to smell them for yourself.

Anquan Boldin – Put up 13/208/1 and said to Fantasy drafters, ‘you took Megatron in the first?  Idiots!’.  I stick by what I say, though.  Moving forward, I see better ball distribution and one of their younger receivers stepping up.  Sadly, if Sunday was any indication, that won’t be Patton.  Sadly further, I’ll admit that it might take a bit longer than I anticipated.  Sadlier furtherier, I own zero Anquan shares so am nowhere near em-Boldin’ed.

James Jones – Here’s a philosophical question for you.  If a wide receiver plays for a team that has Aaron Rodgers at the helm and while Rodgers goes for 333 yards he doesn’t catch a pass, is he really a wide receiver?  The guy who said there’d be 3 1,000 yard catchers in GB this year did his best to make sure Finley would have a shot at being the third.  Eh, if you didn’t expect games like this from JJ, you haven’t been paying very much attention.  He’s still fine.  Well, fine in terms of being James Jones.

Colin Kaepernick – Yeah, I faced this guy in way too many leagues yesterday.  Was worried about the legs, so of course he brings the arm for 412 and three touchdowns.  Oh and no TOs in case you were wondering.  Remember the QB controversy in SF?  Hope you thought it was as funny as I did.

Jared Cook – All I heard over the pre-season was ‘Should I drop Cook for’ insert high upside tight end here.  And all I said was ‘yo B@#$ you cray-cray? Imaboudda smack some muthafunkin sense into yo head!’  Ok, that’s what I wanted to say but what I really said was ‘nah, hold; Cook has just as much upside and should be fine’.  Well, the scariest thing about his 7 reception, 141 yard, 2 touchdown day was that his fumble was another possible touchdown.  I said he had upside.  Never thought he’d go upside ya head week 1, though.  If he keeps this up, I’m gonna call him Jesse Pinkman cuz this dude’s Captain Cook to me.  Just add chili powder, yo!

And that’s it!  If you’re wondering about Sunday Night Football…well, you’ll just have to wait until 10 am PST as @Jaywrong covers it in both .doc, .gif, .jpg and .jwoww format while he watches #footballonyourphone.  No, that’s not the wrong possessive pronoun.  Look behind you.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I hear a scantily-clad Carrie Underwood siren’s call, beckoning me to the couch, promising me beer, pizza and some good football…